4 Year Old Trouble Sleeping Alone

[bloom]

I love kids!

Visiting a close friend the other day, it was about 8:30 PM in the evening. She'd gone into the bedroom to take a private phone call

She has a four year old niece who's staying for a couple of weeks, because her sister is in the hospital. Her sister is six years old.

Leah, the little girl comes down the stairs with a blanket and sits in the corner. Her eyes are red and teary.

I ask her, "what's the matter baby?"

She just stares at me holding the blanket up close to herself.

I ask, "Are you scared?

She shakes her head, "Yes!"

"Of me?"

She shakes her head, "No!"

"Of Betty?" (fictitious name)

She shakes her head "No?"

"Are you scared to sleep upstairs?"

She shakes her head, "Yes!"

"Do you want to sleep in Betty's bed?"

She just looks up at me, forlorn.

"Do you want to sleep on the couch?"

She shakes her head, "Yes!"

So, I make up the couch for her using the couch pillows and the blanket. She has this huge smile of relief on her face and quickly goes to sleep.

My friend Betty comes out apologizing for the delay, notices Leah sleeping on the couch and says,

"I told her she can't sleep downstairs!"

I explained I'd put her there, to which she replied,

"Then you carry her back upstairs and put her to bed!"

"I'll wake her up," I replied.

We argured her telling me Leah is a sound sleeper, once she goes to sleep, blah, blah, blah.

Long and the short of it, I found out that 4 year old Leah normally sleeps with her older sister, and has never slept alone before. Moreover, she's afraid of the noises the upstairs room makes.

I asked Betty why she couldn't sleep in her room. Betty objected to sharing the bed with her. So I asked why not just make up a bed on the floor, I'm sure Leah wouldn't mind. I've met Leah before, she's a quiet friendly kid with a great disposition.

Betty goes on why she can't sleep in her bedroom, one reason after the other. So I say,

"The kid is not used to sleeping alone, she's only 4 years old, the room scares her, can't you sympathize.

She says, "No, she'll just have to get used to it!"

Once again asking me (telling me) to put her back upstairs.

I tried to get her to have empathy for the little girl. I asked her if she hadn't ever had trouble sleeping in a strange house, or being alone at night, or even woke up alone and afraid at night.

To all these questions she replied emphatically, "NO!"

I told her I didn't believe her, in not such a nice manner, refused to carry the sleeping angel upstairs and left.

What do you think about Leah, Betty, my reaction, etc., etc.

BTW I passed Leah hallway door on the way out, and noticed the hallway light was on, the bedroom light was on and the TV/VCR was playing a kids movie. And still the kid was too scared to sleep.

 

[wonderwaleye]

Dear Bloom

GODS WORD says We are not to meddle in another's business.

That may sound tough but it is not meant to.

I have 8 children and just think what it would of been like if we were to do the same thing you recommend.

Children have to grow and we as parents have the job of teaching. This is not an uncommon problem as my daughter is now going through it with her child.

I know you meant well and your heart is in the right place. This is also tough on the parents at times.

I would ask you a question. At what point or age would you start a child sleeping in her own room? Would you let the child decide? Where would these types of thing stop? ( going to bed is just one thing )

A parent should not have to justify
their decisions on raising a child to others unless there is child abuse.

If your friend is a good person ALWAYS REMEMBER:




XEven though you can't see Him, GOD is there!O
( click on the X and move to the O ) ( then feel who is around you )

 

[bloom]

Dear Bloom

GODS WORD says We are not to meddle in another's business.

That may sound tough but it is not meant to.

I have 8 children and just think what it would of been like if we were to do the same thing you recommend.

Children have to grow and we as parents have the job of teaching. This is not an uncommon problem as my daughter is now going through it with her child.

I know you meant well and your heart is in the right place. This is also tough on the parents at times.

I would ask you a question. At what point or age would you start a child sleeping in her own room? Would you let the child decide? Where would these types of thing stop? ( going to bed is just one thing )

A parent should not have to justify
their decisions on raising a child to others unless there is child abuse.

If your friend is a good person ALWAYS REMEMBER:




XEven though you can't see Him, GOD is there!O
( click on the X and move to the O ) ( then feel who is around you )

Remember, this child is in a strange home, in a strange bed in an upstairs room at the end of a hall, isolated from everything and everyone else in the house. She's only there temporarily, her sister is in the hospital, she's away from her family for the first time in her life, there are no other children in that home.

This four year old, has never slept alone, let alone in a strange house and bed by herself. She's only four, she's just suffered a serious trauma, being temporarily bereft of her Mom and Dad and older sister. She doesn't understand any of this.

I think the kid deserves compassion due to the circumstances. What's it gonna hurt to let her sleep on the couch for a week or two. It isn't like the kid is a discipline problem she was terrified of being all alone and isolated in a strange house, with strange people, hearing strange sounds, etc., etc.

 

[bliz]

My heart breaks for that little girl! She is alone at night for the first time in her life, and it is when her sister is in the hospital and she does not see her mother! And her Aunt does not seem to have any love for her at all!

I suppose that you might have been more tactful, but then again, You clearly never imagined what your friend's response would have been. I am trying to think that this must be a trying situation for her as well, or that perhaps this is how she was parented and so she is just repeating it.

Pray for them both.

 

[madison1101]

I think your friend needs a heart transplant. She clearly has no compassion for children, and I pray she gets some before she starts her own family.

Pray for the little one and for your friend.

 

[wonderwaleye]

Remember, this child is in a strange home, in a strange bed in an upstairs room at the end of a hall, isolated from everything and everyone else in the house. She's only there temporarily, her sister is in the hospital, she's away from her family for the first time in her life, there are no other children in that home.

This four year old, has never slept alone, let alone in a strange house and bed by herself. She's only four, she's just suffered a serious trauma, being temporarily bereft of her Mom and Dad and older sister. She doesn't understand any of this.

I think the kid deserves compassion due to the circumstances. What's it gonna hurt to let her sleep on the couch for a week or two. It isn't like the kid is a discipline problem she was terrified of being all alone and isolated in a strange house, with strange people, hearing strange sounds, etc., etc.

Dear Bloom

You are very RIGHT!!!!

I spaced the first part about being away from home with mom in the hospital.

Please forgive me.

Home with the family is a much different thing.



REMEMBER:



XEven though you can't see Him, GOD is there!O
( click on the X and move to the O ) ( then feel who is around you )

 

[bloom]

Dear Bloom

You are very RIGHT!!!!

I spaced the first part about being away from home with mom in the hospital.

Please forgive me.

Home with the family is a much different thing.



REMEMBER:



XEven though you can't see Him, GOD is there!O
( click on the X and move to the O ) ( then feel who is around you )

My friend did not take Leah upstairs that night and it's been a couple of days and Leah is still sleeping on the couch. I've confirmed this with Leah.

I don't think my friend wants her treatment of the Leah to be reported. She's not being otherwise cruel, but to me, given the circumstances, she was being more than cruel enough.

You'd have to know my friend to understand, but since Leah, is sleeping on the couch I haven't brought the subject up. My friend acts like nothing ever happened.

Thanks for your prayers! Leah, deserves compassion especially now. Pray that she'll be going home soon.

Thanks!

 

[bloom]

My friend did not take Leah upstairs that night and it's been a couple of days and Leah is still sleeping on the couch. I've confirmed this with Leah.

I don't think my friend wants her treatment of the Leah to be reported. She's not being otherwise cruel, but to me, given the circumstances, she was being more than cruel enough.

You'd have to know my friend to understand, but since Leah, is sleeping on the couch I haven't brought the subject up. My friend acts like nothing ever happened.

Thanks for your prayers! Leah, deserves compassion especially now. Pray that she'll be going home soon.

Thanks!

Hello,

Leah, went home today!

To those who prayed, thanks!

 

[DawnTillery]

I love kids!

Visiting a close friend the other day, it was about 8:30 PM in the evening. She'd gone into the bedroom to take a private phone call

She has a four year old niece who's staying for a couple of weeks, because her sister is in the hospital. Her sister is six years old.

Leah, the little girl comes down the stairs with a blanket and sits in the corner. Her eyes are red and teary.

I ask her, "what's the matter baby?"

She just stares at me holding the blanket up close to herself.

I ask, "Are you scared?

She shakes her head, "Yes!"

"Of me?"

She shakes her head, "No!"

"Of Betty?" (fictitious name)

She shakes her head "No?"

"Are you scared to sleep upstairs?"

She shakes her head, "Yes!"

"Do you want to sleep in Betty's bed?"

She just looks up at me, forlorn.

"Do you want to sleep on the couch?"

She shakes her head, "Yes!"

So, I make up the couch for her using the couch pillows and the blanket. She has this huge smile of relief on her face and quickly goes to sleep.

My friend Betty comes out apologizing for the delay, notices Leah sleeping on the couch and says,

"I told her she can't sleep downstairs!"

I explained I'd put her there, to which she replied,

"Then you carry her back upstairs and put her to bed!"

"I'll wake her up," I replied.

We argured her telling me Leah is a sound sleeper, once she goes to sleep, blah, blah, blah.

Long and the short of it, I found out that 4 year old Leah normally sleeps with her older sister, and has never slept alone before. Moreover, she's afraid of the noises the upstairs room makes.

I asked Betty why she couldn't sleep in her room. Betty objected to sharing the bed with her. So I asked why not just make up a bed on the floor, I'm sure Leah wouldn't mind. I've met Leah before, she's a quiet friendly kid with a great disposition.

Betty goes on why she can't sleep in her bedroom, one reason after the other. So I say,

"The kid is not used to sleeping alone, she's only 4 years old, the room scares her, can't you sympathize.

She says, "No, she'll just have to get used to it!"

Once again asking me (telling me) to put her back upstairs.

I tried to get her to have empathy for the little girl. I asked her if she hadn't ever had trouble sleeping in a strange house, or being alone at night, or even woke up alone and afraid at night.

To all these questions she replied emphatically, "NO!"

I told her I didn't believe her, in not such a nice manner, refused to carry the sleeping angel upstairs and left.

What do you think about Leah, Betty, my reaction, etc., etc.

BTW I passed Leah hallway door on the way out, and noticed the hallway light was on, the bedroom light was on and the TV/VCR was playing a kids movie. And still the kid was too scared to sleep.

i think you were right to help the little girl out

 

[DawnTillery]

i think you were right to help the little girl out

.

 

[ange_kaye13]

I love kids!

Visiting a close friend the other day, it was about 8:30 PM in the evening. She'd gone into the bedroom to take a private phone call

She has a four year old niece who's staying for a couple of weeks, because her sister is in the hospital. Her sister is six years old.

Leah, the little girl comes down the stairs with a blanket and sits in the corner. Her eyes are red and teary.

I ask her, "what's the matter baby?"

She just stares at me holding the blanket up close to herself.

I ask, "Are you scared?

She shakes her head, "Yes!"

"Of me?"

She shakes her head, "No!"

"Of Betty?" (fictitious name)

She shakes her head "No?"

"Are you scared to sleep upstairs?"

She shakes her head, "Yes!"

"Do you want to sleep in Betty's bed?"

She just looks up at me, forlorn.

"Do you want to sleep on the couch?"

She shakes her head, "Yes!"

So, I make up the couch for her using the couch pillows and the blanket. She has this huge smile of relief on her face and quickly goes to sleep.

My friend Betty comes out apologizing for the delay, notices Leah sleeping on the couch and says,

"I told her she can't sleep downstairs!"

I explained I'd put her there, to which she replied,

"Then you carry her back upstairs and put her to bed!"

"I'll wake her up," I replied.

We argured her telling me Leah is a sound sleeper, once she goes to sleep, blah, blah, blah.

Long and the short of it, I found out that 4 year old Leah normally sleeps with her older sister, and has never slept alone before. Moreover, she's afraid of the noises the upstairs room makes.

I asked Betty why she couldn't sleep in her room. Betty objected to sharing the bed with her. So I asked why not just make up a bed on the floor, I'm sure Leah wouldn't mind. I've met Leah before, she's a quiet friendly kid with a great disposition.

Betty goes on why she can't sleep in her bedroom, one reason after the other. So I say,

"The kid is not used to sleeping alone, she's only 4 years old, the room scares her, can't you sympathize.

She says, "No, she'll just have to get used to it!"

Once again asking me (telling me) to put her back upstairs.

I tried to get her to have empathy for the little girl. I asked her if she hadn't ever had trouble sleeping in a strange house, or being alone at night, or even woke up alone and afraid at night.

To all these questions she replied emphatically, "NO!"

I told her I didn't believe her, in not such a nice manner, refused to carry the sleeping angel upstairs and left.

What do you think about Leah, Betty, my reaction, etc., etc.

BTW I passed Leah hallway door on the way out, and noticed the hallway light was on, the bedroom light was on and the TV/VCR was playing a kids movie. And still the kid was too scared to sleep.

Granted, I do have a soft-spot for kids, so I DEEPLY sympathize with your wanting to give in to the child. However, in this situation, I would have to side with the mother: she is the caretaker, and, although it can seem cruel, it's like the "crying baby" principle: sometimes you have to let the baby cry, otherwise it will cry incessantly. If you don't set boundaries, this may instill within the child justification/prolonging of his/her fears...it's difficult, I know, but I think it helps in the long run. Otherwise, problems could arise: clinginess, irrational fear, etc. It must be hard for you to sit there though! I don't know if this is helpful/encouraging to you, but I would think that the mother wouldn't entrust her child with this woman if she didn't trust her. But you could always check with her as well. I hope this helps!