I just know I cant continue living like this

[brenda_pulido]

It`s been a long time since I dont come here. More than months. Years maybe.

Three days ago I tried to commit suicide. I did it and my mom found it out. It`s long what I have to write, dont get bored.

Im struggling in my house with a senile person and a non-christian mother. Life is just unbearable for me.

I am also unemployed. I have no money, my family doesnt support me enough to do the things I need to do. Im in the job-search, I just dont know what to do with my f**life.

Struggling all the time. With a very angry, dperfectionist mother. Struggles at home. I want to move out (just like the youth in the US) but in my city you cant pay an apt being a waitress.

I need your prayers. I cant cope with this life any longer.

Pulido, Brenda

Mexico.

 

[Kirisutokyoo-shinja]

God will make a way. You are in my prayers.

 

[ukok]

Brenda,

First of all let me tell you that it's ok for you to feel the way you do and that talking about it means that there's a part of you that doesn't want to give up on yourself just yet.

You've taken a brave first step and I applaud your courage in being so open.  You may feel that you can't go on but please hang on in there because even when it seems like the whole world is against you, God is on your side 100 percent.

I share in the pain you feel.  I haven't had the exact same circumstances, but I know what it's like to seriously contemplate your life's worth and consider suicide as an option.  I've stood on that same precipice as you are now standing.  I've looked behind me at what I would leave behind and it seemed to me at the time that there was only pain and misery in my life.  I looked forward and saw a life without pain and without misery, just numbness, non existance and peace.  Pretty appealing for someone suffering emotional and phsycological agony, as you will know.

The truth is though, once you die without Christ, you die forever.Hold on to your faith, cry out to the Lord, pray and pray and pray some more.  I will be praying for your healing that you might overcome these terrible feelings of low self esteem and worth.  Whenever you feel alone in the world, whenever you have no one to turn to, visit CF.  I wished i'd  have had someone to listen to me when I was going through something similar.

Even though we live thousands of miles away from eachother and will probably never meet, take strength from the fact that someone you've never even met is thinking about you and praying that you'll get through this difficult time.  I'll get back to you, there's some scriptures that i'd like to quote to you.. words of encouragement that helped me through a difficult period in my own life.  Please don't do anything rash... take care.

ukok

 

 

[LittleLauraLost]

Hi Brenda
I echo what ukok has said she makes lots of sense. I too know what it is like to attempt suicide to feel that everything is so hopeless I just want to die. You probably look at your future at the moment and think there is no hope but we do not know what lies ahead of us but Jesus does he has plans for you and He won't let you suffer more than you can bear, what you are going through now is making you into the strong person He wants you to be.

Believe me after my suicide attempt I was angry because I was still around to suffer more but now I can look back and see how Gods plan has worked out. I can see He wasn't ready to let me go and I can see why He has brought me to where I am today, I can't see what's in store for me but I am learning to be patient and wait on Him.

I also am many miles away but I feel close to you in your suffering I will be praying for you Brenda please hang in there God will make a way.
Some verses that helped me: Romans 8:28, Psalm 46:10, Isaiah41:10, Jeremiah 29:11 and 2 Corinthian 12:9.

With love and prayers,
Laura

 

[Kirisutokyoo-shinja]

Today at 05:14 PM ukok said this in Post #3
Even though we live thousands of miles away from eachother and will probably never meet, take strength from the fact that someone you've never even met is thinking about you and praying that you'll get through this difficult time.  I'll get back to you, there's some scriptures that i'd like to quote to you.. words of encouragement that helped me through a difficult period in my own life.  Please don't do anything rash... take care.

ukok

 

on the Glorious Day of Jesus's return...we will meet!  Praise God! We will be united, and meeting in this world is not essential, because God's Spirit is everywhere, and One prayer to the other travels from Glory To Glory.  God hears us in our pain, in our sorrow, in our anguish.  I pray your strength in the Lord, and God Bless You All.

Your Brother in Christ, Amen.

 

[brenda_pulido]

it makes me angry what you say about that Jesus (who suppousely is the meaning of love) you are in fact saying "Jesus wants you to suffer".

you know what? you fail when you say that Jesus wants the best for me. I CANT BELIEVE YOU ARE IMPLYING JESUS ACTUALLY IS MAKING ME STRONGER BY PUTTING ME IN THE POSITION OF COMMITTING SUICIDE.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

You're not alone.

 

[Blessed-one]

there are two ways in dealing with a situation, either give up or fight back. We can fight back by relying on God's strength, and come out changed and stronger than before. It's all a matter of choice. If i stayed in the dark with negative feelings for long enough, i won't be able to see the light that is just a few inches away, like a person outside a door not knowing the key is right under his nose.

praying for you.

 

[Remny]

Ah dear Brenda. I know what it feels like to have an uncertain and hopeless future. I know how it is to not know how you are going to fend for yourself. I know exactly what you are going through and I've been in the same place you are. I pray God can bring oppertunity and hope to you, optamism and happyness. That he will show you his love and not let you harm yourself! That he will put you in a place where you are needed and appreciated.

 

[ukok]

  Brenda,

I just crawled out of bed so please forgive typing errors, i'm still a little bleary eyed. What I want you to know is that friendships in this lifetime ARE of the upmost importance when you are considering ways in which to kill yourself.  Take heart that people here with genuine feelings of concern are reaching out to you and emploring you to hang on in there (not literally of course).

I can't offer you much more than prayers, words of encouragement and friendship.  But I truly hope that you find some comfort from the support that myself and others want to give to you.

Here are some of the scriptures that have helped me through my difficult times, over the years.  I hope that you will think about memorising them so that in the dark hours when you find yourself alone and in turmoil, you may find your hope in Jesus.

1 Peter Chapter 5 v7

"Cast all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you".

Luke 21 v 28

"So when all these things happen, stand straight and look up, for your salvation is near"

James 5 v13

"Is anyone among you suffering ? Let him pray".

Romans 12 v12

"Rejoice in your hope, be patient in your tribulation, be constant in prayer"

Romans 5 v1

"Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ"

Now Brenda, I want you to look up these psalms if you have access to a Bible.

Psalm 139 v1-4

 

O Lord, thou hast searched me and known me!

Thou knowest when I sit down and when I rise up;

Thou discernest my thoughts from afar

Thou searchest out my path and my lying down

And art acquainted with all my ways

Even before a word is on my tongue,

Lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether "

Wow, Brenda, isn't that amazing that he knows everything that you are going through and wants to help you through your pain ?

And there's more... I prayed about you and the Lord guided me to the following scriptures for you..

Psalm 46 v1

"GOD IS OUR REFUGE AND STRENGTH, A VERY PRESENT HELP IN TROUBLE"

And also...

Psalm 18 v 6

"In my distress I called upon the LORD, to my God I cried for help.  From His temple He heard my voice, and my cry to Him reached His ears"

Take heart from these scriptures.  Your suffering can be eased, trust me, i've been there.  I'm not saying that everything will rectify itsef and that all your problems will miraculously disappear, but God will guide you, and then you will have the strength to overcome areas of your life that were previously uncontrollable.

Allow Jesus to take your burdens from you. Pray, pray and pray some more.  You are a special and important person, you are to me and I don't even know you!

 

ukok

 

[GodOwnsMe]

hey sista, I don't know what you feel like & all but what I had to realize again is this.
I had some pretty pretty blah things happening to me today and the way I dealt with them was most of the time just thinking about how bad everything is, why...... I have learned to trust in God and know that none of all this could ever, ever, ever divide me from God's love. That 'God's grace is sufficient'. But I recently uh I dunno really myself but it's weird I just thought yesterday about some cool picture of how God can turn everything around.
Ya know it's like math you got some heavy minus-signs on the left and all it makes is like = I'm lost, no way, I just can't take it anymore.

But don't make your bill/calculation without Jesus !!
(making one's bill without someone/ sth is a German saying that means like reckoning without sth/sb)

take all that bad stuff + Jesus/ God and you get = hope, help, grace, love,
w/ Him there is nothing impossible, w/ Him you'll make it ALL THE WAY.
doesn't mean everything will go cool but He's the rock that's always firm,
you're loved, there's forgiveness, God cares and carries you thru. And no matter how bad, how much, how high the mountains and waves of sorrows etc are in your life He's above that and stronger,
the coolest, most awesome, perfect God is on your side.. !

if you ever want to talk you can contact me
don't give up !!! cause God doesn't give you up