3 years

[els_bells]

3 years ago today was the last time I saw one of my best friends. Two weeks later he died from cancer, he was 14.
It still hurts so much and I miss him so much. I never got to tell him how much he meant to me, never got to tell him how much I loved him. I still think of him all the time and wonder what life would have been like if he had been around.
I am just being stupid still being so upset about it 3 years on?

 

[Hope_0004]

Not at all. Everyone takes his or her own time to grieve, and in a way, when you lose someone "forever" in the worldly sense, you grieve "forever". There will always be something that reminds you of the person, or something you wished you could have shared with the person... the fact that you're still upset only goes to show how great of friends you really were.

However, one of the reasons it could still be so prevalent in your mind is you feel like you never told this person what he meant to you... well, I'm pretty sure he knew. I know it's hard to accept that, but really, what other choice do you have but to accept it?

Also, I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with "talking" to him. If you have the ability and the need to go to his gravesite to be alone with him, that's fine, but we all know that's not really where he is, and in my mind it's only a way to be alone with yourself - for he's all around you. When you do something, say, "I wish you were here _____." Or write him a letter. He's not really gone, he's just somewhere else - somewhere better. If anything, you should be jelous of him!

But no, there's nothing wrong with your feelings - you just need to work with them and turn them into something more positive for yourself. It will happen with time.

 

[Anti Existance]

Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there, I do not sleep I am a 1,000 winds that blow I am the diamond glints on snow I am the sun on ripened grain I am the gentle autumn rain When you awaken in the morning's hush I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled light I am the soft star that shines at night Do not stand at my grave and cry I am not there; I did not die.

If you died, would you love to see your loved ones weeping? Crying , torn apart? Of course not you would want them to continue their lives. He wants you to continue your life too, so instead of constantly grieven at his funeral, start living for him instead, and embrace the thought that he wanted you to live, to love and help others. *big hug*

 

[Manders2]

Everyone grieves at his or her own speed. Its ok that you still are sad about this death. You were and still are very young and it was a very termatic (sorry I cant spell LOL) experience. Maybe try talking about him more...it always helps me to talk about my son who I lost. Talking is always good. Or maybe make a wepage in memory of your friend!!! It might help you feel better and when you are sad its some place you can go to read and think about your friend. There is no time limit on grieving no matter what society says there is no time limit. You will never just "GET OVER" the loss of your friend so feel free to talk to us about your friend. We would love to hear about him.

 

[Pinkwaterlily]

I'm so sorry for your loss, our friends are just like family when we're close. Take care.