:'[[

[HEYxTearCatcher]

Recently I've been seriously backsliding.

I recently found out my dad was an alchoholic, and he told me he was going to rehab, but when I went to visit him for Christmas, I found out that he had been forced to because he had tried to commit suicide. This hurt me to a point I have not yet been able to come back from. I constantly feel like I am eventually going to lose everything good that I have, and I'm afraid.

I'm also terrified of sleeping, lately. For the past year or so, I haven't been able to sleep without crying. If I don't fall asleep crying, I wake up crying because I have extremely bad nightmares. I told my boyfriend, and it hurt him to hear, and he tried to convince me to tell my mom, but I'm afraid she won't believe me. So I just haven't been sleeping well, resulting in my being exhausted (both physically and mentally) all the time...

I've recently wanted to start cutting again, too, and I know I should, but I'm just so stuck.

Everyone, please pray for me.

 

[GoDzLiLPrInCeSs]

i'll pray for you.......i hope that your pain and sorrows will be diminished by the loving hand of God....

 

[stanneberg]

Your post broke my heart. I have a 24 year-old girl. She lives 3000 miles from me. Her mother took her from me when she was 5. We were apart for over 16 years without any contact whatsoever. One day she found my dad on the internet and called him. He gave her my cell phone number. She dialed it several times before getting the courage to push the "send" button. When I finally heard her voice -- for the first time in 16 years -- I nearly fell out of my chair.

On our second conversation, we established some rules that we were going to commit to. Rule number 1: "We are going to be honest with each other . . . no matter how much it hurts!" Since that day we have lived up to this rule. I have been honest with her. She has been honest with me.

Being a man and a father, I want you to know how hard it is for us. We men aren't "in touch" with our feelings -- until they all pile up around us. We spend most of our time trying to be strong, paternalistic, a good provider and positive role model. When we feel weak, we do stupid things to make us feel strong. Alcohol is called "liquid courage." Usually the things we turn to and the habits we practice are all "masks" that we hope will one day make us feel like "men" -- whatever that is.

Ashamedly, I must admit that I have thought of suicide more times than not. People that have never experienced total dispair can't understand this line of thinking -- but when it enters into the picture, you're looking at total helplessness, lonliness, desperation, a gutteral scream for help and more.

I would encourage you to make some rules for you and your dad. Build a relationship with him based on honesty -- no matter how much it hurts. The Bible says: "the truth will set you free. . ." Now, any Sunday-school kid can tell you that Jesus is the truth, but He is only part of the truth. The other part of the truth is being truthful with ourselves and about ourselves. Until we know the whole truth, we will not be free!

You have an important part in this situation. You need to tell your dad how much you love him. We men aren't very good at "love" -- but we know it when we see it and hear it! I wish I could plug you into my mind to see what happens when my daughter says "I love you daddy!" Those four words can give me hope and strength to face my world. Those four words can make me feel like the strongest man alive! She knows how screwed up I am -- but loves me anyway!

I'm praying for you!

Stephen Tanneberg

 

[goldenviolet]

sweetheart! my heart breaks at this. this is difficult. God bless you and keep you. your salvation won't change. please continue to let us know how you are and let us pray with and for you.

you are so very precious. God understands you have alot going on in your life. you aren't condemned for struggling.

 

[pockleberry]

I know the fear of losing everything good it's something that i've felt b4. I don't see my dad very much at the moment because my parents are separated but I've had times when both my parents have been depressed I know how hard it can be to cope with.

It's hard when we don't sleep cause it affects so much of our lives I don't sleep very well and my medication sometimes makes me have very vivid dreams but they've never been as bad as yours sound. would it help to talk over with someone what they are about? Sometimes talking about it can help them to go away.

If you ever want to talk about anything I'd be happy to listen and help as much as I can. Pm me or add me to msn if you want...

 

[whitedove7]

I am so sorry about your struggle. I truly understand what you are going through. You have an extreme fear of loosing your dad. Plus, I'm sure it hurt that he wanted to take his life and leave everyone behind. I'm sure there is a struggle of love and hate for what he wanted to do. Again, I will be praying for you on this situation. The best thing to do is to trust the Lord. Pray to him about your concerns because he cares about what you are struggling with. He wants you to pray to him about your dad and your fears. When you do then release it to him that He will take care of it for you. He cares about every detail of your life. The enemy wants to put fear on you and to get you to worry about tomorrow. Don't worry about tomorrow. We have enough to worry about today.

Learn to rest in him and allow him to take those concerns. You will have peace restored when you are able to release those burdens to him. I know how hard it is to release but you have to make an effort to continually release them to Him. He will answer your prayers. When we hold onto those things, it only brings frustration, deep pain, anguish and much fear about tomorrow. The Lord has a plan for your life and the enemy wants to put fear on you so that you won't move into the things He has for you.

Blessings and I pray for peace over your life and I also pray that the Lord will bring great comfort and I also pray that you will be able to continually submit it to him yoru concerns and prayers and that you will find great peace.

 

[HEYxTearCatcher]

Hey everyone. Just thought I'd update some stuff. My home life has been ok, but recently I've been stuck in some stuff with friends. My best guy friend's girl cheated on him and got pregnant. I've known since the beginning, and didn't tell him, and my boyfriend (who is also his best friend) got mad at me for not telling him. And then my best girl friend is going through alot, and called my boyfriend at 1:30 this morning to ask him to talk to her, instead of calling me. And now he's gonna go get her and they're gonna talk before they come over here, and that scares me, because they're getting to close. My boyfriend is one of the only reasons I'm still alive, and so is my best friend. I don't want this to go bad, you know? It's like, wow, they're making plans that don't include me. And I know for a fact if it was the other way around, my boyfriend would be like... "asioghajgsd" and flip out. :[[ Sorry, I just had to vent.

 

[UnitynLove]

Everything's Going to Be All Right!




Did you know that God wants to make a trade with you? He has a standing offer every minute of every day and it's amazing how few of us actually take Him up on His offer. He wants you to give Him all your cares, your problems, and your failures. In return He will give you His peace and joy. On top of that, He promises to protect and take care of you.

God really does want to take care of us, but in order to let Him, we've got to stop trying to take care of ourselves and worrying about every little thing we can't control. Many people would like for God to take care of them, but they insist on worrying or trying to figure out an answer on their own, instead of waiting for God's direction. They wallow around in puddles of their own worry, wondering why God doesn't give them peace. God will give us peace, but we must first give Him our worries.

We give God our worries by trusting that He can and will take care of us. By trusting God, we are able to rest in Him, knowing that He has the situation well under control. Worry, on the other hand, is the opposite of trust. Worry steals our peace, wears us out physically and can even make us sick. If we are worrying, we are not fully trusting God, and we'll never be able to experience His peace.

What a great trade! We give God our worry—He gives us His peace. We give Him all our cares and concerns, and He gives us His protection, stability, and joy. That is the privilege of being cared for by Him.

Because He cares for us, He wants us to live in peace and not all tied up in knots of worry. He has ways of guiding us toward peace, if we are alert enough to sense His direction.

Imagine that you are driving down a road. Along the way, there are roadside signs that provide direction or give warning. If you pay attention to the signs and follow the words, you will be able to drive on that road and safely reach your destination.

In the same way, on the road of life there are spiritual signs along the way. In order to stay under God's protection, you must obey these signs that tell you to trust Him and not to worry. Don't be afraid, have courage. If you'll pay attention to these signs, you'll find that it's easy to stay on course. You will experience the protection, peace and joy that only God can provide.

However, if you fail to heed the signs, you may notice that the road seems a little bumpier than usual and you're not as confident in your ability as you once were. You may become anxious about the unknown things waiting around the corner, and you may even veer off the road.

Anxiety affects us like a double portion of worry. It's an uneasy feeling that lingers like a haze, even after we think we have dealt with it. Once we disregard the signs and go our own way, we are moving in the direction of fear--especially fear of tomorrow and fear of the unknown. The result is anxiety.

Anxiety is like putting on a heavy coat on a hot summer day. It weighs you down. It's difficult to move, and it's stifling to wear. According to Webster's Dictionary, anxiety is "a state of being uneasy, apprehensive, or worried...." Sometimes this uneasiness is really vague—something we just can't put our finger on. All we know is that we are uneasy.

You and I don't need to be anxious about tomorrow when we have all we can handle today. Even if we manage to solve all our problems today, we will just have more to deal with tomorrow...and even more the next day.

Why waste time worrying when it is not going to solve anything? Why be anxious about yesterday, which is gone, or tomorrow, which hasn't arrived yet? Trade your worries in today for God's peace. Remember, everything's going to be all right!

 

[bill'swife]

I will pray for you...God Bless you!!!