24 hour fast

[Imblessed]

I am officially on a 24 hour fast. I am posting it here hoping to keep myself from talking myself out of it. I have never done this before.

I would like to try for a three day fast, but with family coming in to town Saturday afternoon, i'm not sure i could do it.

However, I feel the time is now to do at least a 24 hour, with a lot of prayer. I will pray everytime my stomach tells me it's hungry.

I'm not ready to talk about why right now, suffice to say that I've been confronted with something about myself that my husband and I have been avoiding for quite a while now, me in the hopes that it will just go away, and him in the hopes that we were going through a "phrase". Unfortunately, it has led to frustration and anger on his part, which is no fault of his, although he certainly feels like it partially is.

I need to deal with this. I don't know how, and I don't know who to turn to(besides God). I don't know if it can be fixed, or changed, or whatever needs to be done.

I'm not sure what I feel a fast will accomplish. I've never fasted before. I don't know what it's supposed to acccomplish---but I do know that fasting is spoken of a lot in the bible and it seems to be a good means of drawing closer to God.

Please pray that I get something out of it. Clarity perhaps, or an idea of how to go about fixing this issue.

me God....I don't know what to do.

The only thing I do know, and I'm eternally gratefull for, is that the level of commitment to each other in our marriage WILL help us through this. We will survive, somehow. I have no fear of our marriage being ruined....but only because we know we must deal with this.

Maybe tomorrow I will be able to talk about this more clearly.......

 

[James1979]

I don't know if anyone knows but fasting has nothing to do with self-starvation. Yes they did it in the old testament. But the fasting that God has in mind is preaching the gospel. Read Isaiah 58 and compare it with Mark 2:18, Matt 9:15...later as you see that the bridgegroom who is Christ departed and the apostles & believers began to fast(preach the gospel) Acts 1 & 2

 

[strengthinweakness]

I am officially on a 24 hour fast. I am posting it here hoping to keep myself from talking myself out of it. I have never done this before.

I would like to try for a three day fast, but with family coming in to town Saturday afternoon, i'm not sure i could do it.

However, I feel the time is now to do at least a 24 hour, with a lot of prayer. I will pray everytime my stomach tells me it's hungry.

I'm not ready to talk about why right now, suffice to say that I've been confronted with something about myself that my husband and I have been avoiding for quite a while now, me in the hopes that it will just go away, and him in the hopes that we were going through a "phrase". Unfortunately, it has led to frustration and anger on his part, which is no fault of his, although he certainly feels like it partially is.

I need to deal with this. I don't know how, and I don't know who to turn to(besides God). I don't know if it can be fixed, or changed, or whatever needs to be done.

I'm not sure what I feel a fast will accomplish. I've never fasted before. I don't know what it's supposed to acccomplish---but I do know that fasting is spoken of a lot in the bible and it seems to be a good means of drawing closer to God.

Please pray that I get something out of it. Clarity perhaps, or an idea of how to go about fixing this issue.

me God....I don't know what to do.

The only thing I do know, and I'm eternally gratefull for, is that the level of commitment to each other in our marriage WILL help us through this. We will survive, somehow. I have no fear of our marriage being ruined....but only because we know we must deal with this.

Maybe tomorrow I will be able to talk about this more clearly.......

Thank you for sharing your struggles so honestly with us, my sister in Christ. I am praying for you and your husband.

 

[calmcoolandelected]

I am officially on a 24 hour fast. I am posting it here hoping to keep myself from talking myself out of it. I have never done this before.

I would like to try for a three day fast, but with family coming in to town Saturday afternoon, i'm not sure i could do it.

However, I feel the time is now to do at least a 24 hour, with a lot of prayer. I will pray everytime my stomach tells me it's hungry.

I'm not ready to talk about why right now, suffice to say that I've been confronted with something about myself that my husband and I have been avoiding for quite a while now, me in the hopes that it will just go away, and him in the hopes that we were going through a "phrase". Unfortunately, it has led to frustration and anger on his part, which is no fault of his, although he certainly feels like it partially is.

I need to deal with this. I don't know how, and I don't know who to turn to(besides God). I don't know if it can be fixed, or changed, or whatever needs to be done.

I'm not sure what I feel a fast will accomplish. I've never fasted before. I don't know what it's supposed to acccomplish---but I do know that fasting is spoken of a lot in the bible and it seems to be a good means of drawing closer to God.

Please pray that I get something out of it. Clarity perhaps, or an idea of how to go about fixing this issue.

me God....I don't know what to do.

The only thing I do know, and I'm eternally gratefull for, is that the level of commitment to each other in our marriage WILL help us through this. We will survive, somehow. I have no fear of our marriage being ruined....but only because we know we must deal with this.

Maybe tomorrow I will be able to talk about this more clearly.......

Praying here, Imblessed.

CC&E

 

[JM]

Hey brother, next fast you go on, send me a pm and I'll go with you. We can pray for each other...peace.

 

[mlqurgw]

Perhaps you and your husband could write letters to each other explaining what you are feeling concerning the issue that has been troubling you. Be careful to not accuse the other as that throws up walls of defense and closes the communication. I have found it to be a great help myself because it takes away the immediate argument and forces us to consider what each is actually feeling. It gives us time to reflect on the way our communication is failing. I am praying for you.

 

[Imblessed]

Well, yesterday we had the talk. My husband was in tears, trying to tell me how he feels without being accusatory.

The problem is that I don't have much of a sex drive at all, while my husband has a very healthy one. Now, any time I initiate, he feels I'm doing it out of duty, or pity.....and he feels like I'm not attracted to him.

It has nothing to do with him, and I think he "knows" it, but it doesn't help things. It's just not there for me. I love him. He knows that. Sometimes, it's good....like the excitement comes after we start, but often I find my self rushing him, or just not enjoying it like I should. It's causing alot of guilt and shame on my part. And frustration and anger on his part.

I went and bought a book today. "The sex-starved marriage" by Michel Weiner Davis. It's totally about what we are going through. I really hope it give some practical advice. I've tried lots of things....but I keep finding myself slipping back into old habits and feel put upon because my husbands wants what's natural. I do not withhold, we still have sex, but he's not happy that I'm not enjoying it like he does, and that makes him feel guilty, and selfish. But when he tries different things to excite me or get me in the mood, I just find them inconvenient, or embarrasing, or annoying.

Just thinking about this gets me teary again. I've been depressed ever since we had our conversation. I'm glad he got it out and I know that we need to do something about it...but I don't know how.

Here's hoping the book helps some.

Does anyone know of any other resources?

I can't believe I just shared this with you all. But I need to talk to someone about it, and I don't have anyone here. I also don't feel comfortable going to the married section of this forum because I don't know them like I know you guys.

thanks for letting me dump this on you.

P.S. The fast is still going. Every time my stomach growls or I think about food...I take the opportunity to speak to God. I will break my fast tomorrow morning.

 

[strengthinweakness]

Imblessed, I have to admit that I feel presumptuous (and a bit silly? ), as a single man, giving you marriage advice, but have you read The Marriage Builder, by Larry Crabb? It is a very Biblical book which may really help both you and your husband. It addresses the issue of sex in a Christian marriage, but it addresses it in a way that may be very different from what you will find in many Christian "sex manuals" for married couples. If you haven't already read the book, and you choose to do so, though, I would recommend not going immediately to the section on sex. You might really want to, so as to quickly "take care" of the problems that you have described, but the points that are made in the book are very profound, Biblical ones-- not necessarily hard to understand but profound-- and I think that it is probably best to read and think about them them in order, one by one. Do you think that your husband might be open to reading the book with you? If so, it might do an incredible amount of good for your marriage, and not "just" sexually speaking. If he is not open to reading with it you though, I would still read it on your own. Of course, all of this advice is only if you haven't read the book already. Some Christians have criticized Dr. Crabb for one point in his book, when he states that Christians must have a sense of "inward security." However, he immediately clarifies this thought by saying that Christians already have real, true, objective security in Christ alone. I wish you the best in your marriage, and I am praying for you.

 

[Imblessed]

Thank you. I will check out that book. We are both reading the book I mentioned earlier, so I think my husband would be willing to read the other book too.

Both of us feel better now that we've gotten things out in the open, so we can go nowhere but up now!

thanks again for the book advice!

windi

 

[Rick Otto]

Sure feels great to be trusted.

My wife & I've had the same problem before, and occaisionaly I can be indifferent about sex, too.
I think that's normal, but persistant indifference is probably a symptom of emotional, dietary, and/or exercise imbalances. Like, layin' around & doin' nothin' can realy adversely affect my desire to get up & do anything.
Having been a victim of sexual aggression has played a part, but menopause & other causes can affect emotional & physical responses.
I think clarity is an excellent thing to expect & desire of a fast.
I am blessed to hear of a loving husband who desires his wife. Cool. I think what you have goin' for ya is way bigger than what's buggin' ya, sis.
God love ya, & heal ya.

 

[cygnusx1]

Bless you sister , you have been in my thoughts and prayers today .......... I was thinking and this verse came to mind .

'God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.' Ephesians 3:20

 

[Fish and Bread]

So often, when we think about sex in our culture, we instantly think about pleasure and drive and so forth, as if it's purely a physical thing. That's natural, to a degree, but, as Christians, I think the Gospel puts foward another dimension of the sexual act, where the two become one. Marital sex, in many respects, is an act of unification, perhaps even first and foremost so.

You sound like you love your husband deeply, but you don't enjoy sex physically very much. The solution might not be so much to learn to enjoy sex physically more, but to enjoy it psychologically and spiritually, as an expression of love. I'll bet if you focused on how much you want to use sex to express your love and feel greater oneness with your husband, you might be less apt to rush through it, and feel less irritated. Try thinking of it as almost a renewal of marriage vows, each time saying "I give myself to you, with no barriers and no exceptions, with our bodies becoming one, as an expression of my love and our closeness". In doing so, you might find that sex is something you like a lot more, even if it's for different reasons than society tells us we should enjoy sex. In the act itself, you're physically expressing your marriage, fidelity, and love. Maybe you'll even be the one telling him to slow down.