20 Blessings For One Liners

[mantis_51]

A termite walked into a bar and asked, "Is the bar tender here?"

 

[mantis_51]

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married; the ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

 

[mantis_51]

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

 

[Butterfly4Christ]

A hypocrite is a person who is not himself on Sunday.

 

[mantis_51]

Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.

 

[Butterfly4Christ]

Sin will keep you from the Bible, but the Bible can keep you from sin.

 

[mantis_51]

The one thing that money can not buy is poverty.

 

[mantis_51]

A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing

 

[mantis_51]

Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.

 

[Melody Joy]

Marriage is temporary insanity that leads to permanent disability
(OK, this is a cynic's quip...apologies to those who are married)

LOL

 

[Labradorlight]

choose friends by character and socks by color; vice versa is just unthinkable

 

[AngelGal711]

WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW?SPOILED MILK

 

[AngelGal711]

WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISN'T YOURS? NACHO CHEESE

 

[Pele]

You go through to grow through.

 

[Labradorlight]

God will not bring you to it if he won't bring you through it

 

[Pele]

We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.

 

[smileygirl19]

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T WORK? A STICK

 

[smileygirl19]

WHAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND TWITCHES?
A NERVOUS WRECK

 

[CharlieGee]

i know this isnt one line... but i want to put it hear any way because i believe it is inspirational - its a quote...

People are often unreasonable,
irrational, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse
you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere
people may deceive you;
Be honest and sincere anyway.


What you spend years creating
others could destroy overnight;
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
some may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

 

[GodsSamus]

What time is it if an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know. Look at your spare watch.