2 Sides

[livednellaf]

I have this father, he can be happy supportive and funny, but when he gets angry he can make life a lot like hell. Anger usually makes him abusive both physically and verbally. Sometimes he'd argue and rage about anything for the whole day. There was a time that he got so angry that he gave me some bruises, slaps in the face and broke my lip. He would also call my sisters and slap and punish them instead of me (even when it is my fault) and yell at me "It's all your fault,". Sometimes I wonder how could my mother marry such a man. (C^@*, I really hate saying this.) Now I am still with him, he changed a bit, but his insults really sting like "Would you want God to be sorry that He ever gave you a brain!" or "You already look like a pig! Don't act like one!" and he can still get physical.

I really need some advice. Help.

 

[NeedHelp11]

Sometimes I wonder how could my mother marry such a man.

I wonder that all the time.

 

[sjanae76]

I wonder if my kids will say that some day.

 

[s_gunter]

I have this father, he can be happy supportive and funny, but when he gets angry he can make life a lot like hell. Anger usually makes him abusive both physically and verbally. Sometimes he'd argue and rage about anything for the whole day. There was a time that he got so angry that he gave me some bruises, slaps in the face and broke my lip. He would also call my sisters and slap and punish them instead of me (even when it is my fault) and yell at me "It's all your fault,". Sometimes I wonder how could my mother marry such a man. (C^@*, I really hate saying this.) Now I am still with him, he changed a bit, but his insults really sting like "Would you want God to be sorry that He ever gave you a brain!" or "You already look like a pig! Don't act like one!" and he can still get physical.

I really need some advice. Help.

You need to get some attention on this. The next time he responds violently with anyone in your home, you need to call 911. There is no excuse for his behavior and it must be stopped.

 

[Mirelys]

I'm sorry you are going through this *hugs for you*
I agree about calling 911 when something happens again, but in the meantime is there a school counselor you can talk to? This isn't right. You and your sisters need to be safe!
Be careful though. If the school counselor wants to talk to your parents before the police or family services, don't let him/her. That could be really dangerous, I mean like deadly dangerous.
Is there somewhere you can go if things get bad?
Praying for you...

 

[Tsarina]

I have this father, he can be happy supportive and funny, but when he gets angry he can make life a lot like hell. Anger usually makes him abusive both physically and verbally. Sometimes he'd argue and rage about anything for the whole day. There was a time that he got so angry that he gave me some bruises, slaps in the face and broke my lip. He would also call my sisters and slap and punish them instead of me (even when it is my fault) and yell at me "It's all your fault,". Sometimes I wonder how could my mother marry such a man. (C^@*, I really hate saying this.) Now I am still with him, he changed a bit, but his insults really sting like "Would you want God to be sorry that He ever gave you a brain!" or "You already look like a pig! Don't act like one!" and he can still get physical.

I really need some advice. Help.

My father is exactly the same. He would be a very jolly and fun man and really supportive, but when he got mad, it was like he was possesed and turned into a loonatic.

My father was abusive physically and verbally when he got mad. He would yell all day, nothing would stop him. I also thought how my mother could marry such a man. Most of all, i thought, how could he be my father? It just hurt so much inside, at the same time i was scared.

I eventually learned that i had to do somthing. You have to do somthing, call someone for help, police a relative, anything. Or, atleast write a diary to keep your sanity intact.

I'm sorry that you have to go through this, i know it can be very scary and hurtful. As for me, i left home as soon as i could. I practically ran away, if i have to say so.

God bless, and take care.

 

[HollyHobbie]

I am really sorry your going through this ! It went through a little of what your going through physically with my dad (though my older sister got it worse because she never knew when to keep quiet)

I went through it more with my older sister who would torture me relentlessly !, whenever she would have a bad day or my dad yelled at her (the list goes on)

Then when I was sexually abused at the age of 13 by a former youth pastor and close freind of the family , without much thinking my parents told my sisters that they wish it would have happened to them,they would have known how to handle it better.

My sister proceeded to take it out on me ! every time she had a bad day ! Occasionally she would do nice things which was extreemly confusing to me. Like one time after nearly suffering a nervous breakdown at the age of 15,from stuffing the abuse way down inside ,( I came home from what was the last day of school where the youth leader taught and also where I was verbally and emotionally abused by one of the special ed teachers ,simply because my step dad is part Jewish .)

And I remember crying for hrs and hrs in my room. I vagely remember a faint knock on my door and someone comming in my room but after I finally calmed down I glanced across the room and there sitting on this metal chair I had since i was a toddler. was a hersheys candy bar ...with a peice of paper wrapped around it ! My sister had wrote on the paper ....I love you ! That memory right there is what has helped me forgive her for the pain and anguish she caused.

My sister was the type that would punch, beat ect where clothing would hide my bruises . I lived in fear of her and even to a degree my dad for years.

I agree with everyone else that you need to get help before he hurts you or even kills you "accidently"

I know your afraid that he will retaliate against you I was too when I finally was able to get into counseling which eventually led to family counseling and after a handful of family counseling sessions my dad finally saw what he was doing to my sisters and I and the abuse stopped .

The abuse from my sister didn't stop untill after I took a self defense course in highschool and um ! used it on her the day after (LOl ).

Now she is married and lives 5 minutes away from me !. She knows I've forgiven her and even though she won't own up to every thing she did to me I have been able to forgive her and love her.

Though I wish she would be more of an aunt to my children but she never seems to have time for them : ( .......her loss.

Sorry for my rambling ! I agree with everyone else you need to get help from your guidence counselor trusted adult freind ect.

Your dad needs to see the damage he's done and you need to be someplace safe where he can't lay a hand on you .

I will pray for you Livin.... and Tsarina

Love In Christ
Holly Hobbie
Laura

 

[CoolMom6]

Sweetie; I agree with everything the others have said; if he hits you, it is illegal, too, and you have every right to get the law involved;; that way he might (only if he tries) get the help he needs. They will make him take anger management classes if he is convicted. Take photos, keep a journal too. This coming from a mom who married a guy like that...put it this way, if I'd have known he was like that, do you think I would've married him???These kind of men are charming and very good at faking it til they make it. They can convince the church and everyone else just how great of a guy they are, and make you look like the crazed lunatic. I have to send a small toddler to a man like that right now, and it scares the crud out of me, but I journal, and pray, pray, pray!!
Honey, I will pray for you; also that you do not repeat and marry the same kind of man one day. That happens with us survivors of abuse sometimes.
God will use what you have learned to help someone eelse one day; you be strong.

 

[EbonNelumbo]

*Hug*
I know what it's like. My father was abusive in every possible area. More so when he was drunk or high (mostly meth, some marijuana and speed.) I can tell you that the best way to handle this is to confide in an adult, perhaps a youth pastor, and ensure that you have backup. When he is hurting you you need to call 911 but also have your pastor listed as a person to contact for more 411.
Honestly, I don't know about your state but in mine if you leave the house, even if youre being hurt, a lot of times the police will say you ranaway, and thus put you back in the same place or instead get you into trouble. Make it a point to NOT leave unless he is threatening to end your life or has the potential to do so. Otherwise just call 911. You don't even have to talk. Just call it and then leave the phone off the hook. Auto procedure is to send an officer out to check if they cannot get through to you.

I am sorry that you have to get through this, my advice if you don't move out before hand is to apply to a college far away and move there in 3 years.

(Hugs)

 

[stephwalker1971]

Sorry you are going through that!
I am praying for you both!
Steph