1st love

[mgtonio]

(Posted)

 

[Arteryman]

Virginity is irrelevant in the long run, perhaps she had a prior relationship where she was married and thought she was in love she had sex only to have it go down the drain? Besides, why should sex be only for those you are married to, with so many birth control methods it seems like sex should be recreational if proper precautions are taken, just like you wouldn't play football without pads.

 

[sidhe]

If your love falters on virginity, it isn't true love.

The fact that she's not a virgin does not change who she is. If you love her, her virginity should be a non-issue. She probably is sweet and innocent. Purity does not depend on the intactness of the hymen.

 

[Mrs.Sidhe]

If you love her than you should not care what happend in the past..

Incidently a lot of the hymen is torn when a woman has her period...especially if she does not use pads.

But anyway, Purity is not linked to whether or not someone has been "known" (in the biblical sense). Its in their heart.

If you really love her you will accept her.

 

[Lycaenidae]

hello, its my fisrt time here and i didnt know were else to post this but...
well im 30 years old and a virgin. i believe in saving my self for marriage. iv been with my girlfriend for 5 months now, i love her but i need to push our relationship to the next level, so i ask her if she was a virgin and she pause for a long time and then she says no im not. and that realy breaks my heart cuz i thought i found my true love. she looks so sweet and inocent. i dont know what to think or do anymore. but i guess its my fault for waiting and i know itll be hard to find a girl that has the same mentality as me. is ther any one here that can help me?

I had this happen to me once. I was dating a Christian and he asked me if I was a virgin. I wasn't. He just kind of looked at me, and I felt like a big dirty harlot. Was I a big dirty harlot? No. I had had sex with one man - my high school sweetheart and first love. Anway, I dropped him like a bad habit. If that is what is important to you in a relationship, you're not worth having a relationship with. Sorry.

 

[Shannonkish]

I am confused at what the problem is? So your gf is not a virgin.. does this make her less of a person? Do you love her less because she has made a mistake in the past?

 

[AtheistPerson]

hello, its my fisrt time here and i didnt know were else to post this but...
well im 30 years old and a virgin. i believe in saving my self for marriage. iv been with my girlfriend for 5 months now, i love her but i need to push our relationship to the next level, so i ask her if she was a virgin and she pause for a long time and then she says no im not. and that realy breaks my heart cuz i thought i found my true love. she looks so sweet and inocent. i dont know what to think or do anymore. but i guess its my fault for waiting and i know itll be hard to find a girl that has the same mentality as me. is ther any one here that can help me?

If you truely love her then you shouldnt judge her for her choices.

 

[ebia]

I have to say that I agree with the opinions already stated.

 

[Cerberus~]

Hey man, I hate to break it to ya, but at 30, and still a virgin, you can't afford to be picky.

And why do want to virgin? Don't you want at least one of you to know what they're doing, or do you want your honeymoon to be the worst sex of your life?

 

[TheDag]

Don't you want at least one of you to know what they're doing, or do you want your honeymoon to be the worst sex of your life?

If this is your view then your missing out.

 

[Shannonkish]

If this is your view then your missing out.

I am thinking that the author of this post was not entirely sereious.. was being more sarcastic than anything.

 

[ChristianCenturion]

hello, its my fisrt time here and i didnt know were else to post this but...
well im 30 years old and a virgin. i believe in saving my self for marriage. iv been with my girlfriend for 5 months now, i love her but i need to push our relationship to the next level, so i ask her if she was a virgin and she pause for a long time and then she says no im not. and that realy breaks my heart cuz i thought i found my true love. she looks so sweet and inocent. i dont know what to think or do anymore. but i guess its my fault for waiting and i know itll be hard to find a girl that has the same mentality as me. is ther any one here that can help me?

Welcome to CF.
Seeing that you designate yourself as a Catholic Christian and assuming that you are looking for answers that are more aligned with Christian or more specifically, Catholic Christian, I would recommend posting questions like this in the forum that is automatically restricted to that.
You may wish to request moving this thread or starting a new thread in:
http://www.christianforums.com/f26-one-bread-one-body-catholic.html

or

http://www.christianforums.com/f459-christian-philosophy-ethics.html

It tends to limit responses that are contradictory to Christian ethics or at least gives better substantiations for the answers given.

 

[InTheFlame]

I believe that pornography is wrong. Does that mean that if my boyfriend confessed to having looked at pornography in the past, I should've dumped him?

What's most important is your attitudes and values NOW, not those you held in the past. You'll never find a woman who hasn't sinned, and if you did, she'd be looking for the same

 

[KirstinT84]

I agree with everyone else. If you love her as you say you do, what does her virginity status matter to you? I am actually having this problem with a guy that I know. He likes me, but he wants to marry a virgin, period. I'm not a virgin, so I am automatically ineligable for marriage to this person. Is there any point to me dating someone like that? Probably not, why would I, when I could find someone who loves me just the way I am, virginity or not? And if something as insignificant as my virginity matters enough to him so that he could not ever be with me, even if he loved me, maybe he's just arrogant and not worth my time. In short, if you love this girl, it shouldn't matter what she did in the past.

 

[KirstinT84]

I agree with everyone else. If you love her as you say you do, what does her virginity status matter to you? I am actually having this problem with a guy that I know. He likes me, but he wants to marry a virgin, period. I'm not a virgin, so I am automatically ineligable for marriage to this person. Is there any point to me dating someone like that? Probably not, why would I, when I could find someone who loves me just the way I am, virginity or not? And if something as insignificant as my virginity matters enough to him so that he could not ever be with me, even if he loved me, maybe he's just arrogant and not worth my time. In short, if you love this girl, it shouldn't matter what she did in the past.

 

[mgtonio]

I am confused at what the problem is? So your gf is not a virgin.. does this make her less of a person? Do you love her less because she has made a mistake in the past?

Accually it makes ME feel less of a person. but i still love her the same.

 

[mgtonio]

Welcome to CF.
Seeing that you designate yourself as a Catholic Christian and assuming that you are looking for answers that are more aligned with Christian or more specifically, Catholic Christian, I would recommend posting questions like this in the forum that is automatically restricted to that.
You may wish to request moving this thread or starting a new thread in:
http://www.christianforums.com/f26-one-bread-one-body-catholic.html

or

http://www.christianforums.com/f459-christian-philosophy-ethics.html

It tends to limit responses that are contradictory to Christian ethics or at least gives better substantiations for the answers given.

Sh_t! it doesnt matter what their religious background is im just looking for answer from anybody with same experience. Man!

 

[warghaha]

Accually it makes ME feel less of a person. but i still love her the same.

First, I'm trying not to sound like nagging here ....

The answer is actually within yourself already. Maybe you're not so sure about that. You love her the same all the way. Take some times, and think back. You don't want your and her efforts for the relationship gone just like that because of that, right?

Forgive just like you want others to forgive you...
I hope this is not a nagging to you...

 

[mgtonio]

First, I'm trying not to sound like nagging here ....

The answer is actually within yourself already. Maybe you're not so sure about that. You love her the same all the way. Take some times, and think back. You don't want your and her efforts for the relationship gone just like that because of that, right?

Forgive just like you want others to forgive you...
I hope this is not a nagging to you...

hey! yeah, your right man. thanks! cool right on. and thanks to everyone else here, i realy apprecaite all of your rants. you all been very helpfull. thanks again.

 

[The-Doctor]

The way I see it she was honest with you about her virginity, she could have lied and yes. That in my view makes her worth sticking with. If you truly love her you can get past this.