16 year old son

[ironhubby]

my son is 16 years old, my wife and I have struggled for many years to understand why he acts the way he does, thinking that he would just outgrow it. after several recent very severe incidents, we began researching and feel strongly that he maybe bi-polar. we want to make an appointment with a psycharitrist for help, but he is refusing to go. we have discussed our concerns with him, but he is so afraid of being discovered as not "normal". we love our son very much and want to get him help for this illness.

any advice you all can give to help him understand that he may have an illness, but he is still a normal person? that the help a doctor can give will make things for him much better? we have tried waiting until the mood was right, but when he is up, it is easier for him to deny the issue, when he is down, he is so dispondent he does not care about anything and wants to be left alone.

Thanks so much for all you posts, they have been very helpful to me and I appreciate any help you can provide.

 

[goldenviolet]

a regular pediatrician doctor would be great for this. they have a phyical/ questionier to determine if a mental health specialist should be scheduled; and specialize in helping people understand all health issues. mental health is no different. just seems that way.

 

[wonderwaleye]

Dear Ironhubby

This is really a tough time when the person does not know that they suffer from a mental disease.



It is not uncommon for a 16 year old to refuse medical advice. Besides think of it this way. What if I told you that you were mentally ill. You would reject that thought because the only thought you have is coming from your brain and do you question that.



One real good way to get him into treatment is that if he were to break a law, see to it that he gets arrested. ( sounds tough )



First let me say that when that happens the law enforcement are trained in mental illness and the mentally ill are treated differently than the others.



More often than not the offence does not go through the normal channels of being charged, going to court, and receiving a penalty.



But it can put you into a very good position to deal with your child because they then have a choice of seeing a doctor or paying a price for their offence. Never heard of one that took the latter.



Often many parents just wish their children would get arrested. Some times you can get help if you just see the authorities.



Another way is to file committal papers to have him committed to a mental health care unit so that he has no choice but to receive help. If he has ever talked about hurting or killing himself or others this needs to be transmitted into the committal papers. These records are sealed so don't worry about others seeing it.



Now more often than not drugs are involved. If so the courts will generally not commit them to a mental hospital until he first is sent into drug rehab. Generally there is a long waiting list before he ever gets in. If possible stay away from talking about drugs or alcohol.



The bad part about bi polars is that they are the kings of self medication. But the system is the system.


My heart goes out to you as I know the feelings that you are experiencing.


IN THE MEAN TIME ALWAYS REMEMBER:




XEven though you can't see Him, GOD is there!O
( click on the X and move to the O ) ( then feel who is around you )

 

[Alive again]

The answers are not easy with our children. My son is bp2 and the years starting around 16 were some of the most challenging for us.

The answers are not easy. I agree with starting with your son's doc for a referal. You may just have to force your son to go. We wnet thru periods when we had to not only stand and watch our son take his med, but check hands, pocket, and mouth as he got very good at palming, mouthing the dose. I know of one family who had to use 3-4 family members to place a child in a vehicle, surround them in the car and take them to care. I know of another family that had to have their son arrested. But do know, he now has a criminal record and the police in our city is not CIT trained, so they do not treat you any different due to a mental illness than a criminal despite their hours of training. People with mental illness illnes have been poorly treated for years in our fair capitol city. Also we have limited access to mental health care. Often you get quicker referals to a psych doc if you are hospitalized in our city, but it is very diffcult to be hospitalized for a crisis.

Know that young people can go thru many cycles with meds, on and off meds, street drugs, and alcohol are used to self medicate. My son is still working out these issue in his life.

My best advice is contact NAMI or DBPSA, both have websites and look for a support group for familymembers in your area, become informed about options and community resources in your area. Pray daily for your son's clear thinking and do everything in your power, including forcing him to go for help. It may be an up and down road for a few years, but you already know the most important thing--your son has an illness, bp or whatever, and illnesses are treatable, they are not WHO you are anymore than heart disease or diabetes.

In the meantime remember to take care of yourselves and your other family members as you rest in the shadow of God's wing!

Praying for you!! Feel free to pm me anytime. My son is now 20.

 

[wonderwaleye]

There is a federal mandate that mentally ill folks must be housed away from regular prisoners. If your community is not in compliance then report this to the proper authority for your area.