10 Awkward Moments Only Catholics Understand

Michie · Oct 31, 2023

Our faith is meant to be lived, day in and day out. Sometimes though, being a Catholic can be sort of, well, awkward. Have you had any of these awkward moments this month? This week? Okay, be honest, how many have you had just today?

1. Forgetting the words of the Hail Mary

It happens to even the most seasoned Rosary pray-ers. And always in public. Out loud. One minute you are leading a decade and the next you are second guessing what you saying, stumbling over the words, panicking, and then starting over. The rest of the mystery will be a sweaty, panicky experience with a sigh of relief once you reach the Glory Be…and hopefully remember it.

2. Sneezing before the Sign of Peace

You know when the sign of peace is coming. In the “choreography” of the Mass, you are standing, the priest is saying, “My peace I give to you.” Maybe there is even that attractive coed in the pew behind you and you are planning to make eye contact during the sign of peace. Maybe the Catholic alpha-pinterest-perfect mom is sitting in front and you are determined to not be intimidated. Then it happens. Out of nowhere, you SNEEZE. Right into your hands. The hands you are going to use to shake the hands of others – the others who have now SEEN you sneeze into them – in about 2.5 seconds. What do you do? Wipe them on your clothing? Gross. Then they will think you’re a slob. Frantically search for hand sanitizer in a pocket or purse? Then you’ll cause a disturbance greater than your sneeze. Glance around furtively and hope no one saw? (Spoiler: they did. They always do.) You clearly have three choices: 1) apologetically refrain from the traditional handshake, smile awkwardly instead and then try not to visibly touch anything with your dirty, sneeze contaminated hands for the rest of Mass. 2) offer the peace sign as a poor, kind of weird, and definitely even more awkward substitute, or 3) excuse yourself, go to the rest room to wash your hands and be sure to come back with them glistening clean and still slightly damp so it’s obvious to everyone you did, in fact, sanitize them. The choice is yours. God bless you.

3. Genuflecting anywhere BUT in Church

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