1 Corinthians 7;13

[faithink607]

a young couple who are both unbelievers with a child and unmarried start attending a church. one of them gets saved and the other is still somewhat undecided, but still attends church with the other. the pastor tells them that they are in sin because they are not married. so they decide to get married and ( though it took a while due to hard financial situations ) they get the marriage license. the day they get it, the pastor refuses to marry them because one is still unsaved and they would be unevenly yoked, and then kicks them out of the church during service.

does this seem right since they were both together with a child before getting saved. would 1 Corinthians 7;13 apply here?
And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

i am not really sure if it does or not, but the whole situation doesn't seem right. It would seem that especially since they have a child together, and before one of them was even saved that it would only be right that they could get married.

does anyone have any thoughts or scripture on this?

 

[iambren]

Baby or not, I don't like to see mixed marriages.

 

[madetoworship]

You must define marriage in what context?

Just a marriage license or by an ordained officiant?

People have very different views on this subject.

 

[Pal Handy]

a young couple who are both unbelievers with a child and unmarried start attending a church. one of them gets saved and the other is still somewhat undecided, but still attends church with the other. the pastor tells them that they are in sin because they are not married. so they decide to get married and ( though it took a while due to hard financial situations ) they get the marriage license. the day they get it, the pastor refuses to marry them because one is still unsaved and they would be unevenly yoked, and then kicks them out of the church during service.

does this seem right since they were both together with a child before getting saved. would 1 Corinthians 7;13 apply here?
And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

i am not really sure if it does or not, but the whole situation doesn't seem right. It would seem that especially since they have a child together, and before one of them was even saved that it would only be right that they could get married.

does anyone have any thoughts or scripture on this?

I can see the pastors point but I disagree with it.
To me the couple was trying to do what is right and so they
should have been encouraged and not turned away.

I do not know all the circumstances in this case so it is not good
that I take sides but in the little that you have stated, I would say
that the pastor should have had more grace in this situation.

God gives us the right to have freewill, even if we make wrong choices
and we also know that marriage is of God so if two against all warnings
against being unequally joined, still want to be married, they should have the right to marry.

People are flawed...

Ministers are flawed....

Only Jesus is perfect in love, mercy, grace, wisdom and knowledge so
even though men get it wrong in Jesus name, Jesus is the one we need to
look to and not men.

 

[paul1149]

I would be very leery of going to the length this pastor did. Isaiah said of Jesus, smoldering flaxen He will not extinguish. Here the guy was moving in the right direction, trying to do the right thing. If the pastor couldn't marry them I can understand that, but that is not grounds for kicking them out of the church. Perhaps something else was going on? Because I fail to see what changed that suddenly mandated them being kicked out.

Most people are not going to change until they hear the Word and experience the Spirit, and that is what fellowship is for. So you don't want to kick people out without good reason. But we have to be careful that there might be something else going on here that we don't know about.

 

[faithink607]

no, there wasn't anything else going on. I was pretty active in the church as it was a small upstart that was once a home fellowship, so I was privy to much information from both pastor and congregation, though I keep it to myself.

as i saw it they both had been in sin before they even knew it was a sin, living together and having children out of wedlock is pretty common and unfortunately accepted these days. I commend them for wanting to do the right thing after finding out they were in sin. true, they could just have went ahead and gotten married by someone else, but they wanted it to be blessed by the pastor. but would them separating with a child between them be any better? i am really not sure.

 

[Spunkn]

Tough situation.

I'd have to say I would not kick them out of the church for sure, I think that was definately wrong. That was definately not the right way to go about it.

If there were no kid involved, I would advise them to seperate. But with a kid already....I don't know. It seems like they were trying to do the right thing, and while it says we are not be unequally yoked with a non believer, weren't they already kind of past that point when a kid came into the picture? So didn't they already commited the sin of being yoked together by having a kid? Preventing them from getting married only seems to make the situation even worse.

Just my opinion though, I could be wrong.

 

[faithink607]

i agree, if there wasn't a child involved, i would definitely advise against it, having made the same mistake myself in my younger christian years. i am not a permissive kind of believer, and have become legalistic the more I've grown in Christ. but in situations such as this, it seems better to lean more on the side of grace and mercy, and a lot of prayer.

 

[Hidden101]

Go to a different church. That church does not deserve you as congregants. The pastor in this case may have done a lot more harm than good.
I remember an old pastor once said to me, there has some marriages that are made in heaven due to being equally yolked, but made in hell on earth. While there has got some marriages that are made in heaven on earth, yet unequally yolked so not the best in heaven.

 

[paul1149]

no, there wasn't anything else going on. I was pretty active in the church as it was a small upstart that was once a home fellowship, so I was privy to much information from both pastor and congregation, though I keep it to myself.

as i saw it they both had been in sin before they even knew it was a sin, living together and having children out of wedlock is pretty common and unfortunately accepted these days. I commend them for wanting to do the right thing after finding out they were in sin. true, they could just have went ahead and gotten married by someone else, but they wanted it to be blessed by the pastor. but would them separating with a child between them be any better? i am really not sure.

The only thing I can think of is if the guy got a serious attitude - "here I am trying to do the right thing, and you won't marry me?... etc", which probably wouldn't be too unusual. I agree that with the child already there separation becomes less advisable. Kicking them out of the church is unfortunate, and unless it was necessary should not have been done. Since you are a member there you may want to speak directly to the people involved before you come to conclusions. It will be a protection for you to get a direct sense of the matter. And that's probably important to your trust level with the leadership of your church.

 

[LilLamb219]

That pastor had a chance to really help this couple and he pushed them both away. So sad.

 

[oceansmile]

If there were no kid involved, I would advise them to seperate. But with a kid already....I don't know. It seems like they were trying to do the right thing, and while it says we are not be unequally yoked with a non believer, weren't they already kind of past that point when a kid came into the picture? So didn't they already commited the sin of being yoked together by having a kid? Preventing them from getting married only seems to make the situation even worse.

I tend to agree with this with opinion.

And kicking an unbeliever out of church? Good way to ensure they never return.