0 luck with love

[Bianca87]

Probably because of my bad boy blue i seem unable to engage in a good relationship. Almost all of my boyfriends felt for me because of my look and when they found out how complicated i am and that i'm not the typical pretty girl everything started to fall apart.
I tried to date the typical "good guys" but i get bored with them and lose intrest very fast.
i know that i'm young and i have time, i don't want to find my soulmate right now, i just want all my realationships not to be so messy. i'm starting to think that there is something wrong with me...

 

[AngelDove1]

The word of the Lord say....

"Seek ye the Kingdom of God FIRST"

He will then give you the desiers of your heart

 

[blankgirl]

hey gal! i ve been through failed relationships myself. we re of the same age so i kinda understand u. at this age, we are prone to think that we are only made complete when we have a bf. but its not true. God has made us complete in Him. we dont NEED a "significant other". rather, we WANT. i felt the same way as u, and sometimes i still do. i ask myself, why am i so undesirable to boys, because i havent had a real bf yet. but we are the apple of His eye. we are sealed with His Love. we dont need a man's attention to feel worthy.

 

[Elijah2]

A pretty 19 year old girl, WOW, and you don't want a relationship, WOW.

Now, I'm not being rude or sarcastic.

All I can say, from a 70 year old man of 45 years of marriage. I was 25 when I married, and my wife was 19 years of age.

And I agree with what you say, because I believe my wife had missed her young life of growing up and having fun.

Go for it gal, and enjoy life to the fullest before the right one comes along. I can see you in about another five years married to the right one, and possibly with a bouncing little boy sitting on your lap.

 

[TrueHope]

Nothing is wrong with you! It's normal to go through this!!!! When I was your age, I thought the good guys were boring too, but found out, the bad boys are pretty bad. Enjoy your youth while you can! I don't regret my life, but had I known then what I know now, I may have chosen a much different path. God is the love of our lives, so don't ever worry!!!!!

 

[Robinsegg]

Focus on who you are in Christ, first. Become involved in ministry (if you're not already), figure out what hobbies you really like. In other words, get to know who you are and become comfortable with who you are so you can figure out what you really want. Then, set up some guidelines for yourself and stick to them when it comes to relationships.

Rachel

 

[Bianca87]

I can see you in about another five years married to the right one, and possibly with a bouncing little boy sitting on your lap.

5 years? no-no, i'm going to have to wait till my 30's for that, i have to travel and built my career first, but still i would like to have NORMAL relationships in the meantime..:C thank'you for your kindness anyways...

 

[Robinsegg]

If you're not looking to become married anytime soon, why not simply cultivate friendships, instead of giving the impression you're looking for more?-R

 

[hsilgne]

Perhaps why you are having "0 luck with love" is because you are not seeking "love". As you have said you want a career and travel, not love.

Regardless, sometimes "love" does not care what your plans are. If you fall in love with someone, it is usually very unexpected.

My advice... focus on "falling in love with Jesus". That is True love. The rest will fall in place on His time table.

Gods Peace.

 

[Bianca87]

I'm cultivating my love for Jesus and tryng to figure out my place in this world, balancing faith, politics and everything else...hard, since is all so controvercial...
but still the fact that i don't want to settle down at 19 doesn't mean that i don't want relationships or even eventually find the love of my life and be with him 'till it's time to built a family, I'm just sayng that when i'll get married i want to have the time to focus on it and enjoy being a newlywed, but that ain't gonna happen (my american is getting better)since apparently i'm a)cold b)a complicated and contort girl who occasionally disagrees with her own self c)*****[all nice definions i've been given]
I'm just wondering if i'm going to end up to be a middle age cold business woman who has once been beautiful?
Trendy ( miranda priestrley like) but not happy...

 

[Robinsegg]

If God's placed a desire for marriage and family in your heart, He will fulfill that desire. You don't have to go looking for it, just ask Him to make it absolutely clear when the time comes. Protect your heart and don't awaken passion before its' time.
Dating, imo, should be actively searching for a lifemate. If you're not yet anywhere near ready to have a lifemate, why put yourself through "casual dating" situations?
Rachel

 

[Bianca87]

well, I don't really agree with this (I'm from London... ), but this is a big issue and there's a lot that could be says and aswered and there's no point in doing so since people keep sticking to their idea anyways, meaning: a lot of how people receive dogmas is cultural.
Anyways I don't think that the fact that God has a plan for you means you shoud stop putting your effort into achieving your goals...
The point is I would like, when I graduate from Oxoford, to start working for an internation organiation (possibly the U.N.) and in this kind of jobs before they put you in a place they send all over the world for years...not exactly the better situation to look for a lifemate..
thank'you for your advices and your patronization ( since my mother never did it, it's nice sometimes...), God bless

 

[Robinsegg]

I'm sorry I seemed patronizing to you. I was actually trying to share my experience with you. You see, I never dated until I graduated high school. I had decided early on (about age 12) that I wouldn't date someone I couldn't marry, and hadn't found someone who met that criteria yet. There was a night I cried and prayed all night, and finally told God I would give up my dream for marriage and family, if He wanted me to . . . but He'd have to help me. Within 6 months, I started dating this guy I'd known for a long time (he's 10.5 years older than I). Within months of that, we started talking about marriage. 3 years after our first date, we married. We're coming up on 9 years of marriage and have 2 kids.

You see, I'm not trying to say not to look for someone until you're ready to marry, but I am suggesting you consider waiting until you're at least closer to the time you'd want to marry, and leave the selection up to God. He can bring the person to you when He's ready, and you don't have to bounce from one date to the next. It can work that way.

As far as "interning" dating . . . I see that as a way to get hurt, have baggage, and be tempted. If you're interested in this concept, there's a book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye that explains it better than I can.

Rachel

 

[Bianca87]

Told you i tought the patronization was nice..
I have problems with the emotional part of relationships, I think because i'm a complicated person who tends to mate with complicated guys as well...Oxford is full of those
thank you anyways, yours was a very nice love story to read about.

 

[hsilgne]

But you see, since I don't agree with the chastity thing I don't struggle with temptation, .

Everyone struggles with temptation...even if we do not realize we are being tempted.

I can relate, I felt the same way when I was 19....unfortunately. I encourage you to read the following scripture and reflect upon it....
1 Corinthians Chapter 6 vs 9 through 11.

May God bless you and keep you! In Jesus name.

 

[Bianca87]

Of course i have temptations all the times, just not those kind of temptations since i don't see them that way, that's what i meant: if you don't see something as wrong, wanting to do it isn't tempting to you, right? I dont' want engage in a debate about this tought, i think is not allowed to back my opinion up :O

 

[hsilgne]

..., just not those kind of temptations since i don't see them that way, that's what i meant: if you don't see something as wrong, wanting to do it isn't tempting to you, right?

No. That is not right...unfortunately for us(or fortunately for us - depending on your perspective ).

I believe you are correct when you say we cannot debate in this particular area of CF.

But I do not believe we are debating... we are having a discussion and sharing... that's how I view it anyhow...

Before I returned to Christ and His Church, I felt the same as you in this regard - that's what I meant.

I began having sexual intercourse in my teen years. And at the time I felt no guilt(or at least I thought). Now that I have come to know Jesus better, I have no larger regret in my life. The life style I lived lead me on a road of spiritual destruction and emptiness. At the time of my sinful indulgences, when " a kooky Christian" tried to tell me otherwise, I became offended and laughed at their ignorance. It was not until I accepted Jesus and His salvation that I realized how deceived I was. No one else could bring me to this point. I had to learn for myself. Today I struggle with these temptations(among others). Icannot overcome them on my own, because if I tried to, my pride would force me to believe that these activities are not sinful. It is only the Lord who can save me from these indulgences.. because I believe in Him and because I believe in Him, He offers me Grace to conquer. It is He who conquers, not I.

I dunno if that makes any sense.. sorry if it does not. I just felt compelled to share that.

May we all allow His grace to abound... In Jesus name. Amen!

 

[Bianca87]

It makes sense, it's your opinion about the subject, your experience...I don't totally exclude the option that one day i'll share your point of view, everything is possible!
But my experience is different, you see: i'm a confident girl and i am a sexual person( still i am not promiscous), not because i want to please someone or fill some empty, i had the best childhood and teenage, a lot of people who i love and who love me, i have some great expectation...i'm happy about my life ( beside the love problems, that i thing are kind of normal at my age anyways)
I'm a Christian, still i'm not a literist and i think God works just differently on everyone.
thanks 4 your advices, anyways, God bless

 

[hsilgne]

thanks 4 your advices, anyways, God bless

You are welcome.

I pray you find the love that you are looking for.

Seeing as how you are Catholic, I just wanted to share some teachings from the Church with you in regards to this subject(see below)...

May God bless you!

CLICK HERE

 

[aldar]

bianca,
what a pretty name.
you dont like the nice guys who will simply dont care about your issues cus their kinda boring.... you dont like the bad boys who are willing to fight with you becuase of your issues....

what do you want? haha.
a nice guy who loves ya but will also tell you when they think your wrong, and keep it exciting and adventerous...ah hell come along.
not every guys right and most wont be good for ya.

Also..relationships arent always abou being with someone that thrills ya, but about having someone in your life, even though you dont like everything about them... its a compromise to not be alone.

look at the world...most marriages dont last...
that means a few things, you dont have problems, most other peoples relationships dont work either.
its a trial and something that takes work and patience, love and commitment, the problem isnt you girl.
its life.
change what you need to about yourself and maybe adjust what you want from a guy.