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In my psychosis I have extreme terror of God, extreme guilt over real and imagined sins and extremely low self-esteem. I always believe I'm doomed and unforgivable in some way or another. I used to feel great love and joy in my prayer life, but now I struggle to keep a loving and trusting...

Hi all, I have a question... sorry for the long story...many things happened and I don't know how to write it down in a short story. As a child I went through trauma (sexual abuse and being told that I was bad). As a result of what happened and my own stupid way of dealing with that...