I see the pain of the cross inside of my own heart

headphones777 · 2026-06-07T06:19:10-0500

I have had severe heart pain from Nov 2024. Now the Holy Spirit has imbued me with the prophetic knowledge that I would die by suicide on November 24 due to troublesome circumstances in my life. I am afraid of passing away like this.
When I look inside of my heart these past few months, I have seen the Cross of Jesus upon my heart. This is accompanied by the sharp pains of the cross.
What am I supposed to do with this symbolism? I fear that the prophetic vision will come true eventually. I have asked the LORD for a miracle and help since I do not want to commit suicide and risk my salvation.
This life has been nothing but a relentless struggle against evils that have assailed me. Now I am 30 years old, and already preparing to die. Could life be more cruel than this?

Richard T · 2026-06-07T06:41:56-0500

headphones777 said:
I have had severe heart pain from Nov 2024. Now the Holy Spirit has imbued me with the prophetic knowledge that I would die by suicide on November 24 due to troublesome circumstances in my life. I am afraid of passing away like this.
When I look inside of my heart these past few months, I have seen the Cross of Jesus upon my heart. This is accompanied by the sharp pains of the cross.
What am I supposed to do with this symbolism? I fear that the prophetic vision will come true eventually. I have asked the LORD for a miracle and help since I do not want to commit suicide and risk my salvation.
This life has been nothing but a relentless struggle against evils that have assailed me. Now I am 30 years old, and already preparing to die. Could life be more cruel than this?

I do not believe that prophecy or foretelling is from God. Why? Because it does not glorify him. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame" - Romans 10:11 You should resist it with the word of God, like these. Seek some help from those you think you can trust or who have a reputation in ministry that can help serious cases. God wants to lift you up, not put you down. I would suggest you pray the prayers Paul prayed in Ephesians to understand and know God's love. Please keep fighting the good fight, the church needs you and God has a good plan for you, and that is not suicide. I pray you get a breakthrough, you do not need a miracle, you need better teaching and people around you that know their authority in Christ. You are going to make it through in Jesus name!

headphones777 · 2026-06-07T07:07:55-0500

Richard T said:
I do not believe that prophecy or foretelling is from God. Why? Because it does not glorify him. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame" - Romans 10:11 You should resist it with the word of God, like these. Seek some help from those you think you can trust or who have a reputation in ministry that can help serious cases. God wants to lift you up, not put you down. I would suggest you pray the prayers Paul prayed in Ephesians to understand and know God's love. Please keep fighting the good fight, the church needs you and God has a good plan for you, and that is not suicide. I pray you get a breakthrough, you do not need a miracle, you need better teaching and people around you that know their authority in Christ. You are going to make it through in Jesus name!

Thanks, all well to you, but it is self-evident to me that real prophecies are from God, because God used prophets in the Old Testament (Isaiah, Jeremiah, Micah, Jonah etc.) even Jesus himself was a prophet. Not everyone has the prophetic gift though. And there are false prophets as well so one needs to be discerning.

Maria Billingsley · 2026-06-07T08:41:22-0500

headphones777 said:
I have had severe heart pain from Nov 2024. Now the Holy Spirit has imbued me with the prophetic knowledge that I would die by suicide on November 24 due to troublesome circumstances in my life. I am afraid of passing away like this.
When I look inside of my heart these past few months, I have seen the Cross of Jesus upon my heart. This is accompanied by the sharp pains of the cross.
What am I supposed to do with this symbolism? I fear that the prophetic vision will come true eventually. I have asked the LORD for a miracle and help since I do not want to commit suicide and risk my salvation.
This life has been nothing but a relentless struggle against evils that have assailed me. Now I am 30 years old, and already preparing to die. Could life be more cruel than this?

Are you taking you medications? Schizophrenia will give you false beliefs and perceptions, such as delusions and hallucinations. You have crossed the line by posting "suicide " as your answer and on top of that you believe His Holy Spirit has given you the date. I must stress that this is completely false and certainly not coming from his Holy Spirit. It is the illness speaking. So let's move on shall we and acknowledge this.
I cannot imagine the despair you feel. What I do know is we all LOVE you here on this forum. Let that love penetrate after all, you are also in the Body of Christ and we are all ONE in Him. Your pain is our pain.
Be blessed
.

headphones777 · 2026-06-07T09:11:47-0500

Maria Billingsley said:
Are you taking you medications? Schizophrenia will give you false beliefs and perceptions, such as delusions and hallucinations. You have crossed the line by posting "suicide " as your answer and on top of that you believe His Holy Spirit has given you the date. I must stress that this is completely false and certainly not coming from his Holy Spirit. It is the illness speaking. So let's move on shall we and acknowledge this.
I cannot imagine the despair you feel. What I do know is we all LOVE you here on this forum. Let that love penetrate after all, you are also in the Body of Christ and we are all ONE in Him. Your pain is our pain.
Be blessed
.

I'm in need of divine healing, like the LORD Jesus. But where are there healers? I don't want to "medicate" schizophrenia, I want to cure it definitively once and for all.
Thank you for prayers, I have been very concerned. The cross in my heart is real though and is not a delusion. No matter what medication I take, the cross will not disappear.

Maria Billingsley · 2026-06-07T09:22:33-0500

headphones777 said:
I'm in need of divine healing, like the LORD Jesus. But where are there healers? I don't want to "medicate" schizophrenia, I want to cure it definitively once and for all.
Thank you for prayers, I have been very concerned. The cross in my heart is real though and is not a delusion. No matter what medication I take, the cross will not disappear.

The cross is LOVE.

headphones777 · 2026-06-07T09:23:45-0500

Maria Billingsley said:
The cross is LOVE.

Amen. So it is a good sign then. I believe it is from the LORD. But it still hurts.

Maria Billingsley · 2026-06-07T09:24:11-0500

headphones777 said:
Amen. So it is a good sign then.

Absolutely!

Maria Billingsley · 2026-06-07T09:26:30-0500

headphones777 said:
Amen. So it is a good sign then. I believe it is from the LORD. But it still hurts.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."
This beautiful promise is found in
John 3:16.

Delvianna · 2026-06-07T10:17:44-0500

Remember, not all prophecies are 100% set in stone. There are lots of examples where prophecies were conditional. Like Jonah and Nineveh. They would be destroyed IF they don't repent. So if this prophecy is truly from God, use it as a means to get closer to God. Because like I said to you in the last post you made, seek the great healer. God is the ultimate healer.

I too have the gift of prophecy and I too have dealt with the enemy to insane degrees (I literally met Satan, not a hyperbole of just a standard demon, the real deal) and I can tell you from experience that God, when you seek him with all your heart, will show up in ways you've never imagined. You need God, not someone with the gift of healing. Only God can help give you peace and bring you to green pastures.

Lost Witness · 2026-06-07T11:20:01-0500

headphones777 said:
Thanks, all well to you, but it is self-evident to me that real prophecies are from God, because God used prophets in the Old Testament (Isaiah, Jeremiah, Micah, Jonah etc.) even Jesus himself was a prophet. Not everyone has the prophetic gift though. And there are false prophets as well so one needs to be discerning.

Suicide isn't of God.
God can use ANY of his children to function in the gift of prophecy.
not all are called to the office of Prophet.

headphones777 · 2026-06-07T11:55:53-0500

Delvianna said:
Remember, not all prophecies are 100% set in stone. There are lots of examples where prophecies were conditional. Like Jonah and Nineveh. They would be destroyed IF they don't repent. So if this prophecy is truly from God, use it as a means to get closer to God. Because like I said to you in the last post you made, seek the great healer. God is the ultimate healer.

I too have the gift of prophecy and I too have dealt with the enemy to insane degrees (I literally met Satan, not a hyperbole of just a standard demon, the real deal) and I can tell you from experience that God, when you seek him with all your heart, will show up in ways you've never imagined. You need God, not someone with the gift of healing. Only God can help give you peace and bring you to green pastures.

Wow, super cool. Nice to encounter you here on CF. I also saw a literal demon while in the mental hospital, but as a sort of remote viewing vision. It was really hideous, and I'm positive it was a spiritual vision. Currently in a season of desolation. God feels far away, and I was very sick these days. I began to hate myself for my past, a past I had no idea how I caused, and it was very painful. If I die this year, I would be very grieved.

Delvianna · 2026-06-07T12:44:38-0500

headphones777 said:
Wow, super cool. Nice to encounter you here on CF. I also saw a literal demon while in the mental hospital, but as a sort of remote viewing vision. It was really hideous, and I'm positive it was a spiritual vision. Currently in a season of desolation. God feels far away, and I was very sick these days. I began to hate myself for my past, a past I had no idea how I caused, and it was very painful. If I die this year, I would be very grieved.

Then stop worrying about it and seek God. Ultimately, when we all die, if we are meant to, then we are. But you don't 100% know that God is telling you this right now, it COULD be a means to draw you closer to Him. So use this time, to seek him, turn from sin, repent and walk in obedience. God will 100% be there for you, there's no need to worry or stress. Just let him guide you.

I see the pain of the cross inside of my own heart

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