Except I've observed none of that. The main issue for accounting is ability to act as an accountant. Since it's not preaching, it doesn't fall under the restriction found in the epistles. The one time I saw a woman accountant hand-off to a man in an SBC member church, it was because she'd done it for years and years and basically wanted to retire. I know of that because I had to help move the filing cabinet.
Note: Accountant is also called Church Treasurer.
For song leader, haven't seen any resistance to that at all. Standing up and saying "If you'll take the Green Book*, turn to 97; first, second, and fourth verse" doesn't contradict the aforementioned restriction.
For instruments, if you didn't have women playing the piano and the organ, it would be a cappella in well over 90% of SBC churches. Knew of one guy who'd play hymns in Dixieland style on his trombone, and it might be fun to sing to that, but...
For children's ministries, that depends on the number of children in the church. Where there's a lot, there's a children's ministry. Where there's not, it's usually no more than Sunday School, Training Union, and Vacation Bible School. Ladies ministries are the same. Large congregations, yes; small congregations, not so much. Really, small congregations tend not to have anything other than preaching, revivals, Sunday School, Training Union, and Vacation Bible Schools. And Homecoming. Oh, and Sunrise Service.
*The old Broadman Hymnal
...and I would say I've observed all of it. Both, exactly like you mentioned, and exactly like I mentioned - I have seen both.
For what it is worth -(I'll say it again) I actually agree with you. I do not think any of those examples you gave of roles women can do violate scripture in any way. But, there are currently some very loud voices within the SBC that say those examples *do* violate Scripture.
It is almost like people could look at the same set of Scriptures and interpret them differently - even within the SBC. Crazy eh?!
This is just what I have observed. For simplicty I'm going to break it down into 3 camps. Camps A, B and C.
Camp A - There certainly are those in the SBC that are ok with (and want) women as lead pastors and cite Scripture to back up their view. - but that is not most within the SBC. Those that want that seem to be in the minority.
Camp B - Then, there are certainly those in the SBC that feel the role of women in the church should be VERY limited. They too, site Scripture to back up their view. They feel that some of the women of old the SBC currently holds up (Lottie Moon, Annie Armstrong, Bertha Smith) were WAAAY out of line, should never have happened and should never happen again. They feel that the things you and I mentioned women doing (and are ok with) violate Scripture. Or, to give a very relative example, that a woman answering questions about the week's sermon as part of a mixed panel on a podcast is "a problem", in Al Mohler's view. Again, those that hold these views seem to be in the minority. But, currently, their voice is VERY loud. They are agasht that the SBC credentials and executive committees have only kicked out a tiny fraction of the 170 churches on the list Mike Law submitted some years ago (98% of those remain in friendly cooperation). They grumble mightly about the credentials and executive comittee's "not doing their job" and point as evidence all the churches from the "Law list" that are still in friendly cooperation. The fact that it is possible the churches are not doing anything wrong and that their viewpoint is just incorrect is often flatly rejected by those in this camp.
Camp C - Caught in the middle are the churches (and women within those churches) quitely performing the roles and serving God just as they have done for years. Most of them don't want a woman as lead pastor, but they do feel that there are many vital roles women can ( and do ) play in the church. From that stance, many in Camp C are ok with the ammendment as they believe it will only target women behind the pulpit. However, there are those in Camp C that fear that Camp B is going to use this amendment as a weapon to come after women doing most any kind of ministry, and that Camp B will not stop or compromise until either they (or Camp B) are gone from the SBC or they cave into the desires of Camp B. Also given Mohler's words about the podcast they fear much of SBC leadership is sliding into Camp B.
Lastly, it would be fair to mention that the SBC itself is also caught in middle on this. Of course, there are issues with church autonomy and all of that. But, I'm going to focus on a practical matter of numbers and process. You see, it is this SBC process itself that is probably going to ensure that nobody in Camp B is ever really going to be statisfied.
Lets say the ammendment passes. Does that mean all of the churches on the "Law list" (or whatever the current list those in Camp B have) are going to be automatically kicked out in a speedy manner? Of course not. Camp B insists that women doing things they should not is a HUGE issue in the SBC and a large number of churches are out of line. Say they submit 2,330 churches (5% of those in the SBC) to the creditals committee. To me 5% seems a low number to be a HUGE problem.. but I'm going with it. The credentials committee is 9 people and I don't think being committee members is their full time job. Suddenly, they have 2330 churches to look into. It will take them many years to get through that many churches. When the credentials comittee reaches their recommendation, and if they determine the church is not in friendly cooperation, it then it goes to the exectutive committee who vote. Assuming the executive committee votes the church is not in friendly cooperation, then the church has the right of appeal. It is easy to see how this could take a long time for even 1 church to get through the process. Getting 2330 churches through it would take decade or more given the current process.
I admit, I pulled 5% of the churches out of the air as I keep hearing how this issue is a HUGE problem. If we go with Mike Law's numbers. 170 churches. That is only 0.36% of the total churches in the SBC. Less than 1%

In most any institution, if only .36% is out of line - then it really isn't a HUGE problem in the 1st place is it? That is making a mountian out of a molehill and an indication that the current process of the SBC is actually working very well. That the issues is being vistied AGAIN, for the 3rd time, is an indication that Camp B isn't going to be satisfied until they get their way or go away.
In the meantime, giving to the SBC is down and the argument could be made that SBC may need the churches more than the churches need the SBC. But that is another matter..
If the ammendment passes..
Camp A (those in favor of women pastors) will obviously be unhappy.
Camp B (those who want a VERY limited role for women) will be happy for a short time until they see how long it takes to remove a church from friendly cooperation with the SBC. Then they will be unhappy all over again. The only thing that would bring them long term happiness is a change to the process such that such removal of churches can happen very quickly and lines up with their views.
Camp C - what I would call "normal" SBC churches will still be stuck in the middle, not bothered unless someone in Camp B takes a look at them and finds a women doing something they don't approve of. Then they'll be stuck in the process I mentioned above for however long it takes.