Should I continue playing or stop playing this game?

ChristIsKingofKings · Apr 29, 2026

Zceptre said:
It sounds like the Holy Spirit is absolutely convicting you here, and I want to reassure you that healthy fear is wise. It isn't a paralyzing fear, but that warning in the mind that says, "If you walk to the edge of the cliff, even if it is just to look, the wind might blow and you might lose your balance." This is wisdom, unlike for example, being so afraid of water you can't walk in the shallow waves of the beach ankle deep. (that would be, never to touch any game ever again in the analogy)

The way you express yourself makes it quite clear that God is living inside of you and has changed your heart dramatically. I can see that you love Him immensely and that you want to love others like He loves you. You speak with a lot of wisdom for your age.

One of the things I felt in my heart while reading your post, was that while I know you want to be loving to your friends, walking into continual sin is not owed to people to show them love. Christ loved people, and sat and ate with sinners, but God spoke to me many times and told me "But my Son did not sin with them." (Referring to Lord Jesus)

A sacrifice is deemed to be something that comes at a cost. What we do in following Christ determines how heavy the cost is we pay. Some people don't listen closely to God's voice and they are not quite so convicted of sins and sacrifice very little for God, while others who have their ear turned very sharply in God's direction will hear many corrections and convictions because we wish to do what pleases Him. To reassure you, it is definitely not "you" talking to yourself and convincing yourself that you shouldn't be doing something that you have been doing for years. It's definitely the Holy Spirit speaking to you.

The other thing that came to my heart and mind was a quote that I'll paraphrase which says, "show me your closest five friends and I'll tell you what you'll be like in five years." I'm sure I'm mauling the quote up, but the concept is there, which is that "Bad company corrupts good character." (1 Corinthians 15:33) I'm quoting the BSB version, and the NKJV states "Evil company corrupts good habits."

I've been through this conviction process with people and games both and while my situation is different, it is also the same overall. Yes, it is a sacrifice, and can be a very heavy sacrifice. But as another quote that is stuck in my mind says, "There is no sacrifice too great for the Lord Jesus Christ." You'll have to forgive me for not knowing the author, but the quote is set concretely in my soul. It was the lever that pried me away from many things that seemed too difficult to give up or that were painful to let go.

I don't exactly have an "answer" for your situation with loving your friends who are still unbelievers. I do understand the dilemma in that they are online friends and without those particular games you are at a loss on spending any time with them. It isn't a scenario where you hang out at the park or have coffee from time to time as well, and so ditching the games means ditching the friends.

With this said, I felt strongly also... to point out that our allegiance sits firmly with Christ first and foremost. I have had this dilemma in other situations in my later years in life and it was always a choice between Christ first, or the people around me and what they were doing. Should I go spend time with people who are going to dictate the situation we are in, that talk about things that aren't very pleasing to God, and who I love but aren't very focused on God.. or should I spend my time in my Bible with God or in prayer or memorizing scripture, or maybe even try to find other friends. Ultimately, God gave us freedom to allow us to choose who and/or what we love most. Who or what we love most is what we will choose in the end, and what gets our time is the clear indication of where our heart truly is.

First person shooters I kind of gave a pass as far as playing "violent" games simply because it is the basic bottom line "tag-you're-it" of the digital world really, and never really heard God ask me to quit them. But, as for witchcraft, crime, and false god's I've dropped a lot of games that I literally will never touch again. I heard God speaking to me quite clearly. I hesitated, as it seems you are, unsure if it was Him or just me getting "legalistic" until the day I heard Him say to me in super clear words:

"Do you love it more, or me more?"

That was the moment I had zero doubts anymore about where these disturbed feelings were coming from, and I knew it was the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart the entire time and I was being stubborn (was over the course of a week or so for this instance) and was trying to justify playing the game or make a reason to be "loving" to my friends who got me started on these games. These were people who lived nearby, and I played the games along with them and it contained witchcraft. It happened back to back with two different games, one very clearly full of witchcraft, the other started subtle, but then had "idols" to boost your power at later stages once you were "invested" more heavily. It put a damper on the relationships/friendships and it was insanely difficult not to just give in and go back. But I didn't have any question it was God's will at that point and I wasn't giving in.

Some of those people were not quite the same in terms of being "friends" with me anymore. I don't speak to some of them today at all, and others are in the family but we rarely see each other (at least currently). I wouldn't change my decision back then, with the exception that I might have tossed the games sooner. It did leave sort of a "void" and didn't necessarily feel good to lose friendships, or the enjoyment of the strategy based gaming but my conscience was clear and peace of mind is priceless (1 Timothy 1:5). For the record, I didn't have any other friends then really either.

I don't think it is being unloving to people to be devoted to God if I'm forward about it. That isn't to say that people don't take it as being unloving, but God knows our hearts. If we don't follow our convictions out, then we will be moved by "every wind of doctrine" (Ephesians 4:14) (aka other people's opinions and desires) at every turn in life and when will God come first?

I think you are just hearing God's voice more clearly, and your relationship has really went up with Him and He is making requests of you to do things that you otherwise wouldn't do. Because let's be honest about this right, you didn't really come up with the idea to give up these absolutely enthralling games you enjoy soooo much it is insane and then become anxious about it. It is only after we know God and know Him closely that we hear these things. I've spoken to other Christians numerous times that have had these exact same convictions in their hearts, and never heard such a thing from an unbeliever once (personally, that I can recall).

Whatever the issue that arises from ditching the games, if you feel strongly God is asking you to give them up, I would simply PUSH and Pray Until Something Happens. If He is speaking to you about the games then He will surely answer your prayers. If quitting the games causes other issues, maybe He really wants to give you others friends, or wants you alone with Him more (has been true for me), or maybe there are ways to still be friends with them but not persuaded by them to do what God is asking us to not do. Make sure you know, they will always be a tempting presence and attempt to persuade back into old habits. It is simply the nature they are in. I truly feel you giving the games up, if you do, might be a greater witness to them if they are in need of Christ and don't know Him.

I won't say it was easy for me personally, but I will say it was worth it. I don't know the answer to loving your friends, but I feel confident you didn't make up the feelings you feel in your heart inside your head first. I think they came from you know who, and I think you know they came from Him. You just want confirmation it is Him asking you, and to know that it is His voice speaking and not just some crazy emotion or legalistic mentality causing fear inside you. I don't think it is at all. It sounds just like me in the same situation, and even many other posts I've read here prior to this one on the same subject. It's a recurring theme it seems... "I feel like God is asking me to quit particular games and I'm not sure." It makes sense that many of God's children are hearing the same things from their Father. (Jeremiah 31:34 - "for they shall all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them...)

Lastly, it is always great to hear a testimony of someone who is growing in their relationship with God in such ways and speaking great wisdom that those of us who know Him are certain of where you got said wisdom. It is encouraging, and refreshing, and enjoyable to read, at least for me for sure. Especially when the older we get the more we realize we still haven't given up everything we might very well need to in terms of sacrifices for the One we love the most. We are all His children no matter how old, and we all still have growing to do.

Will say a prayer for the situation for you, especially about how to be loving to your friends while not abandoning God's gentle leading. I'm sure He has replacements for things in mind for you, though I can't say what. I know His plans are great for you. (Jeremiah 29:11) The work He has done in you so far is astonishing and awesome to say the least. Good things simply must be ahead.

Zceptre said:
My friends were not silent on their displeasure to me quitting the games I quit. I got some serious grief and backlash. Being as stubborn as I am, I embedded my heels into the ground deeper. lol

They don't know anything else but to fight to keep anything they have, and they certainly don't understand the changes in you or your life. There is a reason why we were all once blind, but now we see. Blindness is not understanding, and seeing is understanding, which leaves the burden on us to carry the heavier weight in decision making. If we allow blind people to lead us or sway our choices, even just to make them feel better, we might very well fall in a ditch with them rather than help them out of a ditch God pulled us out of.

One thing is for sure, there isn't any condemnation in any of this (Romans 8:1), no matter how you go about handling this situation.

Also, 1 Corinthians 10:23 states that all things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial. Romans 14 is a chapter that elaborates on this with an example that essentially boils down to saying that we should act in a way that is loving to others and that does not lead them into stumbling.

God simply leads His children and guides them in love. Where you need to be, you will end up because it isn't dependent on us but on Him. He is the one holding all things together, that brought us into life, that changed our hearts, and that sustains us and gets us where we need to be. Hebrews 12:7-9 says we are corrected by God because we are His children, and that without correction we would be illegitimate children and not true sons and daughters.

Whatever you do, He will get you to where you need to be. The last verse that comes to mind while writing this is the last verse of the previously mentioned chapter. Romans 14:23 says that whatever is not of faith is sin. It means that if God is convicting our hearts and we know it, we should follow His leading. After all, disregarding God's voice is what defines rebellion, as listening is pretty much all God asks as far as I can tell (beyond loving Him first, and others second, which kind of includes listening).

I wouldn't worry as much as I would just stay focused on Him like you are.

Even if you play the game again, if God doesn't want you to.. so long as you aren't deliberately ignoring Him and you want His guidance, He will make clear to you what He desires.

It's not really a "do better" thing regarding performance, and more like a "don't run on concrete" warning so we don't scratch our knees up when we fall. Spiritual well being is God's number one priority for His children. He is a good Father.

Thank you for the encouragement, knowledge and wisdom our God has placed inside of you brother/sister. All glory be to God.

First of all, thank you for your kind words. I’m only who I am now due to the Lord changing me, transforming me, refining me. It’s all Him. All glory, honour and praise to Him. And you’re right, I wouldn’t even be considering these things if not for Him.

I do think your previous situation mirrors my own in a lot of ways. And I mean a LOT of ways, right down to the backlash I may receive. I also had the same thought as you that giving up the game may be a greater witness to them than not.

Due to anxiety which I mentioned in my initial post, I do doubt myself (and I especially hate this, as I hate anxiety too). I’m not very confident in myself and I do second guess myself far too often. I know it says in the Word that the one who doubts is like a wave tossed by the wind (James 1:6-8) and such a person shouldn’t expect to receive anything. That’s a convicting one for me.

You say that I love God immensely, and I do love Him. How can I not love Him after He has done literally EVERYTHING for me. I can’t survive without Him. I can’t even take my next breath without Him.

But I know for a fact that I don’t always love Him like I should, with all my heart, mind, soul, strength. There have been days recently where I’ve questioned whether I even love God at all due to me falling into sin, and due to not being entirely focused on Him and His Will. I’m certainly a lot wiser now due to the Lord granting me new knowledge and wisdom, but I’ll be real I can do some quite stupid things sometimes.

I certainly don’t want to rebel against the Creator, or put anyone or anything before Him. But I am quite afraid of my actions pushing my friends (and others associated with them) away from the Lord instead of planting the seed to draw them closer (which only God Himself can do of course). But, as you said, I also don’t want to be the cause of us both falling into a ditch. This is another reason why I’m so torn.

Romans 14 was the deciding factor for stopping playing FFXIV initially, as I was just too unsure to continue playing in faith, and anything not of faith is sin.

There is no sacrifice that is too great for our Lord. I know that if I were to lose everything but still have a relationship with God, then actually I have everything for He is everything (and vice versa). I just don’t want to make an “unnecessary” sacrifice (obedience is better than sacrifice) and regret it later when it’s too late.

ChristIsKingofKings · Apr 29, 2026

Hey all,

Another brief update

Had a talk with my friend again today. Said that I would re-download FFXIV and give it ONE more try. If I enjoy it and not convicted and anxious, I’ll stay. If I am convicted AT ALL, I delete my character so I can’t go back again.

I don’t know if this is the right decision. It feels like a cop out honestly, I just really don’t wanna leave my friend hanging in the lurch.

Zceptre · Apr 30, 2026

ChristIsKingofKings said:
Due to anxiety which I mentioned in my initial post, I do doubt myself (and I especially hate this, as I hate anxiety too). I’m not very confident in myself and I do second guess myself far too often. I know it says in the Word that the one who doubts is like a wave tossed by the wind (James 1:6-8) and such a person shouldn’t expect to receive anything. That’s a convicting one for me.

I've dealt with my fair share of anxiety. Social anxiety, anxiety about the future, decision making, and more. My doctor, Christ, has taken most all of that away. We who have anxieties at times in our lives aren't necessarily broken, but seem to be extremely cautious people, and our caution can create an anchor point for doubts. The truth is, we are often just people who can see that there are consequences to everything and we are very aware of our limitations as human beings.

This is where providence comes in though. Just like in the movies, so it is in reality, where the lead character in the movie always seems to have the help or lucky streak he (or she) needs to dodge the bullet, or barely miss the train, or is only attacked by one person at a time rather than being dog piled. Providence means someone is watching over that person who has power over the entire situation. In the movies, of course this is the script writer who dictates all the events and outcomes and makes sure the hero always wins (if they are a good script writer that is).

In our lives, we have a script writer also, and some of us are not or have not yet become keenly aware of His presence and hand over every tiny little detail in our lives. Both sides of this world, dark and light, have a hand in their life. Nothing is by chance in this world and someone is always helping anyone who excels or succeeds at anything or who especially advances to a higher position anywhere. We just have to learn to trust the person who is writing our story and kind of take a drink of the Holy Spirit (as opposed to alcohol aka liquid courage) and let go and trust that we cannot ruin this since He is the one guiding all things and especially us. Just like the little child jumps to the father when they are told they can, they have to trust in order to jump. Anxiety is essentially us letting our minds be filled with concerns that our Father won't catch us, but deep down we know He always will.

There are a lot of verses that can help with this, but I would suggest one in particular that has played a vital role in helping me. I keep it in my pocket all day every day and I rarely go very long without using it again, and again. If we really meditate on it, focus on it, and remind ourselves often, it can (has for me) bring peace where there would be concern.

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.

ChristIsKingofKings said:
But I know for a fact that I don’t always love Him like I should, with all my heart, mind, soul, strength. There have been days recently where I’ve questioned whether I even love God at all due to me falling into sin, and due to not being entirely focused on Him and His Will. I’m certainly a lot wiser now due to the Lord granting me new knowledge and wisdom, but I’ll be real I can do some quite stupid things sometimes.

Let me, if I may, shed some light on this particular subject regarding our relationship with God.

For starters, no one loves God like they should. This is what the verse in Romans 3:23 is talking about, and also in Psalm 14:3. Romans 11:32 says that God Himself committed us all under disobedience so that He can be merciful to everyone. In other words, we can't take full credit for being creatures of sin and beat ourselves up about it perpetually, especially because this is condemnation and will lead us back into sin again. The Bible does not say that the punishment of God brings change in us, but rather that the goodness of God brings change in us (Romans 2:4). Psalm 51:5 reemphasizes this concept stating that we are born into the world under sin. It is wise to know our place, but I have in the past practiced false humility (which is taught broadly in the Christian world) of which we degrade ourselves and speak ill of ourselves and speak negatively about ourselves. This only programs negativity into us and especially depressing emotions which drive us closer toward falling into sin again, rather than helping us to keep our head above water.

The truth is, our focus should never be on our love for God and then using what we see in the mirror (the law) to judge our performance and determine if, or how much, we love God. This plants continual seeds of condemnation in us, rather than the grace and freedom Christ purchased with His blood on the cross.

1 John 4:19 says "We love Him because He first loved us."

This is, in theological terminology, the principle of "First Love." In other words, no one loves God first ever. The way to see more and more change in ourselves is not to look within us, who are empty on our own, but to keep our eyes on His immense love for us displayed in Christ crucified (Romans 5:8). In doing this we can be constantly assured that no matter what we do, He is never going to "turn on us" or give up on us or see us any differently. He loved us at our darkest long before we ever turned from our sin, and our slip ups now aren't going to change His heart toward us.

In Luke 7:47 Christ elaborates on this very fact in showing us how He views those who are stricken with many sins and addictions and poor habits that they truly want to be free from. He says that those who have been forgiven much, love much. He obviously isn't referring to people who have no repentance, but those whose hearts are aching about the mess they are in and the sins they fall into again and again.

It is only by looking at the extreme lengths to which Christ has went to set us free that we can understand that the Father is in Him, and He is in the Father. He has the Father's heart, and a good Father (which we have) isn't aiming to punish His children, but longs to help them, hurts for them, is on their side, and understands His children and knows that they want to do well and be pleasing to Him. We have to see this love, and be empowered by it, and be encouraged by the truth that we have the best friend anyone could ever have and He wants to lift us up with positivity not beat us down with negativity.

When anyone is in a hole in the ground, the best way to keep them down there is to tell them they could never get out to the point that this person will never even try to climb out. Tell them they are incapable, that they fell yesterday, they'll fall again tomorrow, they'll never do what they haven't yet done.

The best way to set that person free, is to encourage them. If ever they were going to climb out of that hole in the ground, it is only going to happen when they believe they can, and someone believes in them (including themselves) and they have the positive mindset to get up dust off and keep fighting to get out and climb.

The cross is God's love that never discourages or puts down God's children, and always encourages and lifts them up. It is what makes us righteous (Isaiah 54:17) even though we are not perfect, because we are covered (Genesis 3:21 - Romans 4:7). It is the way out of the hole in the ground (anxiety, sinful habits, addictions, depression, etc).

So we focus on how much He loves us, and we are filled with joy all day (Nehemiah 8:10). When people are in love (and by extension in God's love) they are always happy, the flowers are colorful, the air is more refreshing, life is invigorating. If we truly understand God's love for us, we will experience this phenomenon, just the same as when two people fall in love and are always happy.

The more we understand His unstoppable love for us, the more we will naturally fall in love with Him. If we stay focused on His love for us, we will be filled with joy and empowered all day every day.

ChristIsKingofKings said:
I certainly don’t want to rebel against the Creator, or put anyone or anything before Him. But I am quite afraid of my actions pushing my friends (and others associated with them) away from the Lord instead of planting the seed to draw them closer (which only God Himself can do of course). But, as you said, I also don’t want to be the cause of us both falling into a ditch. This is another reason why I’m so torn.

This is the dilemma which I understand. It isn't so much black and white in these situations, but rather a mixture that forms a gray area we have to navigate.

You are as far away from rebellion as one could possibly get in terms of your heart posture. You are doing just fine and like I said, while you do want to be diligent (which you are) you don't want to worry yourself to death. He will surely guide you. It is unquestionable considering He got us this far, He isn't going to abandon us now.

ChristIsKingofKings said:
Romans 14 was the deciding factor for stopping playing FFXIV initially, as I was just too unsure to continue playing in faith, and anything not of faith is sin.

There is no sacrifice that is too great for our Lord. I know that if I were to lose everything but still have a relationship with God, then actually I have everything for He is everything (and vice versa). I just don’t want to make an “unnecessary” sacrifice (obedience is better than sacrifice) and regret it later when it’s too late.

For a time on the last game I gave up, I simply continued playing the game while avoiding the idols they have to boost power in your military stats. At the time, I was unsure if I should keep playing but I at least was avoiding the witchcraft and continued in it. I obviously wasn't on the top of the score board but my conscience was mostly clear.

Eventually it just wasn't worth it for me personally. I don't know if that is how it will work out in your situation but I do know that He understands that you are trying to bridge the gap between your unbelieving friends and the knowledge of Christ they need who is alive in you.

As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:22, "...I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some."

ChristIsKingofKings said:
Had a talk with my friend again today. Said that I would re-download FFXIV and give it ONE more try. If I enjoy it and not convicted and anxious, I’ll stay. If I am convicted AT ALL, I delete my character so I can’t go back again.

Just to add a suggestion. I don't think it necessary to totally delete the character, especially not at first. When I had to quit addictions for example, games included, it always helped me to know that I could let it go or reject it with it sitting directly next to me and in reach. When quitting cigarettes years ago, I kept an entire pack in the glove box of my truck and just wouldn't touch it.

It's the heart that counts, and what the heart wants must be changed. Building walls or tearing down bridges tends to be a temporary fix to a more permanent problem if the heart is not the source of the change.

This is all just food for thought of course.

God never asked me to quit those games by sending a fiery angel to stop me and through the revelation of His extreme displeasure in me for touching them. Rather He asked me to choose Him, to love Him, and put Him first because I wanted to. He wanted me to choose Him, and was just asking me if I would do so of my own volition because He wanted me closer to Him.

It's an invitation of higher intimacy with God.

Alex Sharpe · May 4, 2026

Delvianna said:
You are going to get a lot of different answers to whether this is a sin or not, but I want to focus on one thing... this comes down to what God is telling you to do. Because ultimately, it's Gods decision correct? If he wants to allow you to do/not do something. I played FF14 for a long time. Had a house, the whole 9 and just disappeared off of the game one day and never went back. My personal convictions were because:
1) I was sinking far too many hours in the game and I felt like it was unhealthy
2) The story surrounding Hydaelyn and how she is worshiped. It seriously got under my skin and I felt like it was disrespectful to God.

I'm not going to tell you what to do here, but my suggestion is that this needs to be between you and God. If you feel convicted to give it up, then do it. Giving up things for the Lord always reaps benefits and don't let your friends pressure you to stay just because of the time you've spent on the game. Games are supposed to be hobbies and hobbies technically are time wasters in and of itself. You do not have to continue to do something that you don't want to. Do what you feel is right.

Ultimately personal conviction matters most; balancing hobbies and faith requires honesty with yourself. I used to love playing online games, and from time to time I lost money. I decided that the first step would be to find a game where I at least didn't lose money. I came across https://dragonlinkpokie.com/real-money/ where there is a list of games and a rating, so I choose only proven games and always win. I hope I can finish this like you, but for now I'm stuck at the first step.

ChristIsKingofKings · May 4, 2026

Zceptre said:
Let me, if I may, shed some light on this particular subject regarding our relationship with God.

For starters, no one loves God like they should. This is what the verse in Romans 3:23 is talking about, and also in Psalm 14:3. Romans 11:32 says that God Himself committed us all under disobedience so that He can be merciful to everyone. In other words, we can't take full credit for being creatures of sin and beat ourselves up about it perpetually, especially because this is condemnation and will lead us back into sin again. The Bible does not say that the punishment of God brings change in us, but rather that the goodness of God brings change in us (Romans 2:4). Psalm 51:5 reemphasizes this concept stating that we are born into the world under sin. It is wise to know our place, but I have in the past practiced false humility (which is taught broadly in the Christian world) of which we degrade ourselves and speak ill of ourselves and speak negatively about ourselves. This only programs negativity into us and especially depressing emotions which drive us closer toward falling into sin again, rather than helping us to keep our head above water.

The truth is, our focus should never be on our love for God and then using what we see in the mirror (the law) to judge our performance and determine if, or how much, we love God. This plants continual seeds of condemnation in us, rather than the grace and freedom Christ purchased with His blood on the cross.

1 John 4:19 says "We love Him because He first loved us."

This is, in theological terminology, the principle of "First Love." In other words, no one loves God first ever. The way to see more and more change in ourselves is not to look within us, who are empty on our own, but to keep our eyes on His immense love for us displayed in Christ crucified (Romans 5:8). In doing this we can be constantly assured that no matter what we do, He is never going to "turn on us" or give up on us or see us any differently. He loved us at our darkest long before we ever turned from our sin, and our slip ups now aren't going to change His heart toward us.

In Luke 7:47 Christ elaborates on this very fact in showing us how He views those who are stricken with many sins and addictions and poor habits that they truly want to be free from. He says that those who have been forgiven much, love much. He obviously isn't referring to people who have no repentance, but those whose hearts are aching about the mess they are in and the sins they fall into again and again.

It is only by looking at the extreme lengths to which Christ has went to set us free that we can understand that the Father is in Him, and He is in the Father. He has the Father's heart, and a good Father (which we have) isn't aiming to punish His children, but longs to help them, hurts for them, is on their side, and understands His children and knows that they want to do well and be pleasing to Him. We have to see this love, and be empowered by it, and be encouraged by the truth that we have the best friend anyone could ever have and He wants to lift us up with positivity not beat us down with negativity.

When anyone is in a hole in the ground, the best way to keep them down there is to tell them they could never get out to the point that this person will never even try to climb out. Tell them they are incapable, that they fell yesterday, they'll fall again tomorrow, they'll never do what they haven't yet done.

The best way to set that person free, is to encourage them. If ever they were going to climb out of that hole in the ground, it is only going to happen when they believe they can, and someone believes in them (including themselves) and they have the positive mindset to get up dust off and keep fighting to get out and climb.

The cross is God's love that never discourages or puts down God's children, and always encourages and lifts them up. It is what makes us righteous (Isaiah 54:17) even though we are not perfect, because we are covered (Genesis 3:21 - Romans 4:7). It is the way out of the hole in the ground (anxiety, sinful habits, addictions, depression, etc).

So we focus on how much He loves us, and we are filled with joy all day (Nehemiah 8:10). When people are in love (and by extension in God's love) they are always happy, the flowers are colorful, the air is more refreshing, life is invigorating. If we truly understand God's love for us, we will experience this phenomenon, just the same as when two people fall in love and are always happy.

The more we understand His unstoppable love for us, the more we will naturally fall in love with Him. If we stay focused on His love for us, we will be filled with joy and empowered all day every day.

Thank you very much for this brother. You’ve hit the nail on the head with this. When I sin (or ‘feel’ like I’ve sinned when I haven’t) I do beat myself up over it, calling myself an idiot or a fool before the Lord when in prayer after I’ve sinned. I tell myself that this is not what a Child of God should be doing, and question whether I really love Him when I don’t keep His commands.

I realise now that this is self condemnation, and of the enemy. While I can’t say I hate myself, I don’t exactly love myself either.

I know our God loves us so incredibly much, I need to focus on that, and on Him, more.

Zceptre · May 12, 2026

ChristIsKingofKings said:
Thank you very much for this brother. You’ve hit the nail on the head with this. When I sin (or ‘feel’ like I’ve sinned when I haven’t) I do beat myself up over it, calling myself an idiot or a fool before the Lord when in prayer after I’ve sinned. I tell myself that this is not what a Child of God should be doing, and question whether I really love Him when I don’t keep His commands.

I realise now that this is self condemnation, and of the enemy. While I can’t say I hate myself, I don’t exactly love myself either.

I know our God loves us so incredibly much, I need to focus on that, and on Him, more.

I've been taught by Him that we are not our sin brother, we are absolutely not our sin. We hate the sin (we get this from Him of course), and we are identifying with it as if it was us, but it isn't us, rather something inside of us (Romans 7).

God is a good Father, and we have to see ourselves through His eyes, not through our own. Does He hate sin? Yes, but He dealt with the sin on the cross, and like brother Peter told the Lord Jesus to go away from him because He was a sinful man, we think God is staring at us in discontent because of our sin. He isn't. He is faithful, and good, and love like 1 John 4:8 says, patient and kind, not a judge ready to condemn us (1 Corinthians 13).

If we look at ourselves through His eyes, and we realize how much we would love our own children, whether we have them or not, then we can begin to understand the extreme kindness and compassion and genuine heartfelt desire He has in His heart to make our wrongs into rights. He isn't justifying us in our sin, but forgiving our sin and telling us to get back on the bike and try again. Just because we fell down, doesn't mean we can't ride the bike, it just means we haven't reached completion in our process of sanctification.

Even then no one will ever become absolutely perfect and sinless apart from Christ's forgiveness on this Earth, and we can know like Colossians 1 says that we are clean in His sight through Christ's blood always. That's why we love Him after all, because He isn't looking to condemn, but to help us always (John 3:17). Just like when God made skins for Adam and Eve and "covered" them, so He has covered our sin forever, even if we are still stumbling and falling everywhere. Just like our clothes cover us, so Christ's blood covers us permanently and nothing and no one can take us from His hand. This is why God says "believing" is the requirement, not following the rules perfectly. Christ is the key, and nothing we can do is going to change anything. It is Him changing us from the inside out by His goodness that brings people out of sin. When we know we have been cleaned permanently, we can be filled with such immense gratitude that we want to put the sin away because who would want such shame when we have been cleaned and redeemed so thoroughly? Get our beautiful clean white clothes dirty even though they cannot be stained permanently anymore? No no, we will avoid the pit of mud that is sin once we grow up and understand His love for us. Just because the suit has been altered to be cleaned by a simple rinsing (confession - 1 John 1:9) is no reason to go roll around with the pigs in the mud pit called sin. It will never happen through performance, or guilt, or by any other means. Faith works through love (Galatians 5:6).

Imagine the most kind person anyone could ever meet, who is encouraging and forgiving... a person who lifts you up and who is never disappointed in you and who literally fixes everything you do wrong because He knows you are trying to do what is right and pleasing to Him. This is the kind of person God is, the kind of Father He is. We are His blood-bought children and we are no small thing to Him. His love for us in beyond incredible, and we need to see it and know it to be encouraged by who He truly is. It is where our strength comes from (Nehemiah 8:10).

The words we tell ourselves, are the words we eat. We have to go by what God says about us, that we are forgiven, that we are clean, that we are loved (proven by the cross - Romans 5:8). We have to eat the words God says, that are positive, and reassuring, and cleansing to our soul (Luke 4:4 - Matthew 4:4). The most famous verse in the Bible expresses this fact, and is an encouragement and a sign post showing us what He is like, that He is always encouraging and kind (John 3:16). It says, "...God so loved..." It does not say, "...God was so sick and tired and disgusted with the world..." It says He done everything He has, and everything He will do, because He loves us.

People may want to get rid of sin, and they hate their sin. I know I hate mine, and we should. But we are not our sin, and we can't identify ourselves as sin when we are not the sin. We are children, and children need love or they will continue to fail and never succeed.

Everyone has a little child in their heart that needs reassurance and encouragement that they can do better, and no one is an exception to this rule. The only two categories given in the Bible for people on this Earth are the children of God, and the children of Satan. Everyone is a child.

When we become aware of this, we can stop judging ourselves, see ourselves as His child, realize He is not displeased when He knows we are trying to do better and especially because He died for us long before we were even trying like Romans 5:8 tells us... How much more pleased with us if we are trying to follow Christ and put the sin away for good?

Make sure to never play into the enemy's hand...

Repent.

Kill the discouragement.

Be encouraged by the truth of who God is.

Get back on the bike and keep trying and riding.

He isn't beating us up because we fell off the bike. He is smiling at us, telling us it is ok, not to fret, just like we would tell our own little child, and to get back on and keep trying.

There is nothing more or less to this than that. It is what being a child is all about. Learning, growing, and knowing more and more who God is and sharing His goodness and love with others in our process of becoming more like Him.

Just like the little boy is confident when his big strong dad is around because he knows his dad loves him and won't let anything bad happen to him, so we can be confident that God is taking the big bad bully called sin out back and giving him a whipping for messing with His children.

Yes, this cute analogy is a bit lacking in some ways in terms of direct application, but it is accurate. God is far better a Father than any man on this Earth and if we learn from that little boy where he is getting his confidence, we can have it just the same in every situation. Even if we fall down from time to time.

Zceptre · May 12, 2026

ChristIsKingofKings said:
I realise now that this is self condemnation, and of the enemy. While I can’t say I hate myself, I don’t exactly love myself either.

One last thing... since it perturbs me to see people with good hearts regenerated by Christ tricked by darkness.

This last part you stated is also from the enemy and we should all find our way out of it.

In the past I was not an advocate of "loving ourselves" (primarily because of the "self love" movement which is a perversion of the proper principle to avoid seeking God's love first) and I would previously stated that this is a lack of humility. The fact is though, that we can't love others as we love ourselves if we don't love ourselves!

Matthew 22:39
39 (BSB) And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Simply put, if we are looking at ourselves through a lens of judgment rather than through the grace and goodness of God... then we will carry that habit into how we are looking at everyone around us.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19
18 (BSB) All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:

19 (BSB) that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men’s trespasses against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation.

Christ Jesus is not counting your sins against you, nor against me, if we have repented. He didn't tell everyone that came to Him that they needed to repent before He would heal them... The kindness of Christ should live in us and we should see others through the same lens that I described above, that is, through God's eyes who wants to help and forgive everyone He can. God is love, and He is so good we have a hard time imagining just how kind and gentle and patient He truly is.

The truth is, we need God's love first and most, and we should love ourselves so we can love others as we love ourselves... If we don't love ourselves, then we are filling our cup with God's love, and then dumping it out on the floor until there is no love left in us. We have to be filled with God's love, and to stay filled with it (love ourselves, especially because if He does then we should), in order to have any to give to others. A cup that is empty never satisfied anyone's thirst! (John 4:13-14 - John 6:35) Thirsty means needing love, and we are all thirsty.

God isn't full of negativity and guilt and sadness... He is light, and positivity, and goodness, and laughter, and joy, and forgiveness, and kindness. (fruit of the spirit etc, Galatians 5, God's Spirit)

1 John 1:5 (BSB)
And this is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you: God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.

Imagine what you would say to your friend if they were in a mess of sin, and beating themselves up about it, when you knew that they were trying as hard as they could to stop. While you are sitting across from them, would you tell them you should despise yourself, and feel guilty, and that they should be doing better while asking them why they aren't? Would you be asking them how they could be such a screw up?

After you think about that awhile, it starts to become obvious what Satan has convinced a lot of Christians to do... Condemn themselves, feel guilty when Christ made them guilt-less, and saturate themselves in depressing negative thoughts of darkness when God is nothing but light.

Keep your false humility radar on. Guilt is not humility and it certainly is not the clothing of the redeemed of Christ. Christ paid for freedom from guilt and clean white clothes.

It's a lie brother. Walk into the light. There are no people in Heaven putting themselves down and saying they don't love themselves. They might not have giant egos and may be humble, but they do love themselves in a healthy way. A person can't have joy inside them if they don't, and Heaven is full of joy.

Had to share this part. I was especially guilty of buying into this particular wrong idea myself.

Palmfever · May 12, 2026

ChristIsKingofKings said:
So I was, and still am, uncertain if I should continue playing or not. This caused me great distress and anxiety. One day I felt good playing the game, the next I felt awful. This carried on for a while. Eventually I stopped playing, mainly due to Romans 14:22-23, for all my anxiety and doubting was not of faith. So I stopped, thinking this was right.

Sounds like you know the truth.
Romans 14 can be taken to apply to choices it is not speaking of.
It clearly refers to the honor of certain days over others and permissable food.

If we ignore the preceding scripture, yes, it becomes a more general application which is implied as a rule.
"If it isn't in faith it is sin.'

It does not seem you are there yet. It does appear you are seeking to form and solidify confidence.

You mentioned witchcraft and other aspects of the game that have raised flags. Pay attention. We must pay attention that we do not seek justification for our desires.

We do not live our lives to please men.
We do not live to appease the opinions of so called friends. Friends will accept your belief and not whine nor attempt to change your mind. If they can't, you haven't lost a friend, you've lost an acquaintance.

'Better the rebuke of a friend than the kisses of an enemy.'

ChristIsKingofKings · May 13, 2026

Palmfever said:
It does appear you are seeking to form and solidify confidence.

Yeah, I pretty much am brother/sister, I want to be confident that I either should or shouldn’t be playing the game. I am quite an overthinker I will say.

Palmfever said:
You mentioned witchcraft and other aspects of the game that have raised flags. Pay attention. We must pay attention that we do not seek justification for our desires.

Since I‘ve gone back to the game, I will admit I’ve been enjoying it, but I’ve also am still very weary in playing. There is a lot about FFXIV that I now don’t like especially in the story, going back has only reaffirmed that. And I certainly don’t want to justify doing anything that the Lord has said not to do. But, I will admit sometimes I do compromise and I am quite undisciplined (which is something else that needs fixing in my life with Jesus). I certainly am a lot less undisciplined now than I used to be, thanks be to God, but there are days where I don’t do much of anything, and there are other days where I fall into sin.

Can I ask you brother/sister, if you were in my position now, do you think I am justifying a sin or desire? Am I compromising?

Palmfever said:
We do not live our lives to please men.
We do not live to appease the opinions of so called friends. Friends will accept your belief and not whine nor attempt to change your mind. If they can't, you haven't lost a friend, you've lost an acquaintance.

'Better the rebuke of a friend than the kisses of an enemy.'

100% agree brother. As I’ve said, I don’t want to lose my friends, but I am a servant of Christ, and if I lose them because of that so be it, I’d rather have a relationship with God than them if it comes to that.

ChristIsKingofKings · May 13, 2026

Zceptre said:
One last thing... since it perturbs me to see people with good hearts regenerated by Christ tricked by darkness.

This last part you stated is also from the enemy and we should all find our way out of it.

In the past I was not an advocate of "loving ourselves" (primarily because of the "self love" movement which is a perversion of the proper principle to avoid seeking God's love first) and I would previously stated that this is a lack of humility. The fact is though, that we can't love others as we love ourselves if we don't love ourselves!

Matthew 22:39
39 (BSB) And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Simply put, if we are looking at ourselves through a lens of judgment rather than through the grace and goodness of God... then we will carry that habit into how we are looking at everyone around us.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19
18 (BSB) All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:

19 (BSB) that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men’s trespasses against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation.

Christ Jesus is not counting your sins against you, nor against me, if we have repented. He didn't tell everyone that came to Him that they needed to repent before He would heal them... The kindness of Christ should live in us and we should see others through the same lens that I described above, that is, through God's eyes who wants to help and forgive everyone He can. God is love, and He is so good we have a hard time imagining just how kind and gentle and patient He truly is.

The truth is, we need God's love first and most, and we should love ourselves so we can love others as we love ourselves... If we don't love ourselves, then we are filling our cup with God's love, and then dumping it out on the floor until there is no love left in us. We have to be filled with God's love, and to stay filled with it (love ourselves, especially because if He does then we should), in order to have any to give to others. A cup that is empty never satisfied anyone's thirst! (John 4:13-14 - John 6:35) Thirsty means needing love, and we are all thirsty.

God isn't full of negativity and guilt and sadness... He is light, and positivity, and goodness, and laughter, and joy, and forgiveness, and kindness. (fruit of the spirit etc, Galatians 5, God's Spirit)

1 John 1:5 (BSB)
And this is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you: God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.

Imagine what you would say to your friend if they were in a mess of sin, and beating themselves up about it, when you knew that they were trying as hard as they could to stop. While you are sitting across from them, would you tell them you should despise yourself, and feel guilty, and that they should be doing better while asking them why they aren't? Would you be asking them how they could be such a screw up?

After you think about that awhile, it starts to become obvious what Satan has convinced a lot of Christians to do... Condemn themselves, feel guilty when Christ made them guilt-less, and saturate themselves in depressing negative thoughts of darkness when God is nothing but light.

Keep your false humility radar on. Guilt is not humility and it certainly is not the clothing of the redeemed of Christ. Christ paid for freedom from guilt and clean white clothes.

It's a lie brother. Walk into the light. There are no people in Heaven putting themselves down and saying they don't love themselves. They might not have giant egos and may be humble, but they do love themselves in a healthy way. A person can't have joy inside them if they don't, and Heaven is full of joy.

Had to share this part. I was especially guilty of buying into this particular wrong idea myself.

You really do have the love of Christ in you brother. Felt so much warmth reading this, which can only be from God.

I admit, since your last post I’ve fallen into sin willfully in other ways unrelated to this post. And I’ve thought to myself again that ‘God must be so disappointed in me,’ and ‘How can I after all He has done for me do this against Him,‘ and ‘How could I grieve Him like this.’ All these things I‘ve said not but two days ago in response to my sin in repentance. And I realise once again now that these things are from satan. Seeing the Lord use you to remind me how much He loves me despite my shortcomings is, well I can’t quite put it into words it’s that amazing.

I do seem to forget that I am not my sin quite a lot, especially with how I choose to sin instead of choosing God sometimes.

He really has done just everything for us huh!

Thank you for sharing your own testimonies with me brother.

Zceptre · May 13, 2026

ChristIsKingofKings said:
You really do have the love of Christ in you brother. Felt so much warmth reading this, which can only be from God.

I admit, since your last post I’ve fallen into sin willfully in other ways unrelated to this post. And I’ve thought to myself again that ‘God must be so disappointed in me,’ and ‘How can I after all He has done for me do this against Him,‘ and ‘How could I grieve Him like this.’ All these things I‘ve said not but two days ago in response to my sin in repentance. And I realise once again now that these things are from satan. Seeing the Lord use you to remind me how much He loves me despite my shortcomings is, well I can’t quite put it into words it’s that amazing.

I do seem to forget that I am not my sin quite a lot, especially with how I choose to sin instead of choosing God sometimes.

He really has done just everything for us huh!

Thank you for sharing your own testimonies with me brother.

You're welcome man. I'm hearing most of what I'm writing, so don't thank me too much. I was given freely, it's an absolute privilege to me to do the same. Yes, He really did do everything. Because He is Everything.

Initiating dead horse beating...

You haven't betrayed God, rather your flesh is betraying you. It isn't that we should not weep bitter tears as brother Peter did over our sins, but when it comes to taking credit for "falling" into it, that is a lie perpetrated by the devil. After crying because we despise the sin, we have to see the smile on God's face and the arms He has open wide to give us a hug and let that give us the strength and the desire to be closer to Him and farther from what we know is trying to pull us down by our ankles. His love is the key to freedom. Call it what you wish, false humility radar, negativity radar.. but we need to turn it on and keep it on, because it isn't the voice of God speaking accusations to us and that means it isn't helping. (satan = accuser of brethren)

Here's an analogy to bring some clarity to the waters of understanding:

If God put a clipboard with a sheet of paper on your study desk at home, and you found it when you woke up one day with some options printed on it waiting for you to fill out, what would you put down on paper per your own desires in your heart?

Here's the outline...

1.
Are you a sinner?
[ ] Yes [ ] No

2.
(Do you trust Christ with your life)
Do you believe Jesus Christ came to Earth in the flesh, lived the perfect life, died on the cross, and has risen again to pay for your sins?
[ ] Yes [ ] No

3.
(For ministry opportunities and to appropriate them to your current willingness or dedication)
Are you willing to give your life to Christ and go anywhere He asks you?
[ ] Yes [ ] No

4.
Do you have any current addictive sins you don't yet wish to detach from?
[ ] Yes [ ] No

5.
(A request for a miracle to be applied - no sanctification process required)
Would you like all sin to be removed from you so that you never sin again?
[ ] Yes [ ] No

-------

Fill that out and take a good look at it. We know what we would check off in that list. See, this is about a relationship and our previous choices are affecting our current choices. Addiction to sin is not the "current" choice, but the after effects of previous choices. Feeling guilty for our negative feelings driving us back into sin, through "withdrawals" (just like drugs, yes, because sin is a drug), through depression, isolation, and through not fully believing that we are clean right now especially by the blood of Christ... feeling guilty because these things "got us" and "tricked us again" isn't going to get us out of the hole in the ground.

Only through knowing we can beat it, and realizing it isn't us (Romans 7), and through knowing we aren't betraying Christ but rather He is hurting for us and on our side can we win the battle (Romans 8). We have to identify the sin correctly, or we identify ourselves as the enemy, when we aren't, and attack ourselves. Romans 7 covers this extensively.

The idea that you are betraying God when you and I both know you want more than anything (you and God know for a certainty) that you don't want that sin anymore and it just keeps biting you.. this idea is ludicrous. God understands our dilemma far better than we do ourselves. He may be jealous over us, but he isn't a nagging wife who has wrong ideas about what is in your heart or mine. He is our Father.

Nothing you do can change the fact that you are a Son of God in Christ (Galatians 3:26). You have to tell those lies that say this is "all your fault" and "oh wow you blew it this time" and "you are the worst person on earth" to the wind, dump them in the trash, set them ablaze and tell those lying voices you are not listening to that garbage, because it isn't God's voice on the subject.

The truth is God's heart hurts for His children, His Sons and Daughters, when they are stuck in sin He knows they don't want. Just like the father in the story of the prodigal son... God is not putting us down and saying those things we are hearing. He is saying, "I know who you are." He is saying, "You are still my Son." (or Daughter) He is saying, "I know this is difficult, but I've got your back. One foot in front of the other. You will beat this. Get up and keep going."

If it isn't obvious, I have an extensive experience with this subject, and with negativity and lies beating on me. It is not from God who is our Father, nor from Christ, and Holy Spirit has never said one peep of negativity to anyone who is actively desiring freedom from their sin.

I don't want to take this much further and write another thousand words, but you need to hear it from someone who knows. Your response is enlightening that you are now, where I had been most of my life. I want you to know with absolution after reading these things what the truth is and so I'm beating the dead horse until I can't find a piece of bone to beat. I know the persistence of this phenomenon, and we have to face it with determination and with constant awareness of voices in our mind lying to us.

You are a Son. In Christ you always will be. Reject the lying voices. God knows you would check that box that would make you never sin again.

He doesn't give us that checklist, and the option to get the miracle that does that, because it must be His love that transforms us, and we just have to go through the process of building a relationship with Him. You can't manufacture a relationship, or pop a miracle relationship into place. It has to be built through interaction and free choices, of volition.

He wants the positive attributes of His love to bring you closer because you want to be, and to give you strength through how beautiful His character is to beat it. Not make you feel guilty about things. No one ever gets out that way. The more you realize He is never disappointed in you, the less you will want the things you already wish you didn't want in your flesh.

Be a Son.

Zceptre · May 13, 2026

A little birdie told me to append this in addition to the last message after posting.

The application of these things is relevant to the OP as well, so I pray it sinks into your soul deeply. You can use this when you need it. You'll know when that is.

Palmfever · May 14, 2026

ChristIsKingofKings said:
Can I ask you brother/sister, if you were in my position now, do you think I am justifying a sin or desire? Am I compromising?

We grow in faith.
As young Christians we have a spirit that speaks and guides. Like young Samuel.
We do not always recognize this voice.

1 Samuel 3

Eternal One:
.... 4 Samuel! Samuel!
Samuel: Here I am! 5 (running to Eli) I heard you calling; here I am!
Eli: I did not call you, my son. Go back, and lie down.
So Samuel went back to bed. 6 But the Eternal called him again.
Eternal One: Samuel!
Samuel (running to Eli): I heard you calling; here I am!
Eli: No, I did not call you, my son. Go back, and lie down. I need my rest.
7 Samuel did not recognize the voice of the Eternal One, for the word of the Eternal had not been revealed to Samuel yet. So Samuel went back again to his bed. 8 And the Eternal One called him a third time.
Samuel (running to Eli): I know you called me; I am here!
Eli (realizing the Lord was calling Samuel): 9 Go back and lie down, my son. If the voice calls you again, I want you to say, “Speak, Eternal One. Your servant is listening.”

We do not have the experience and knowledge yet.
Scripture tells us, "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."

It also states;
"My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee." Hosea 4:6

Paul exhorts/scolds the Hebrews.
11 Of whom we have many things to say, and hard to be uttered, seeing ye are dull of hearing.
12 For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat.
13 For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe.
14 But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.

I've been playing music for decades.
I know hundreds of songs, many unwholesome. Most I no longer play. Some I change a word or 2 if I can without messing with the story and flow. The rest, who cares?
They are poop as Paul says. (Dung)

I also drank for decades, a lot.
God took it. Done. No desire. No struggle. No tiny hint of temptation.

As some are heard to say, "We are what we eat."

Take care what you feed your spirit.
This maybe somewhat off yet it is relevant.
Jim Crove has a line in a song;
"5 short minutes of love, brought me 20 long years in jail."

Life is a vapor. Eternity is a very long time.

You will learn, "not to condemn yourself in the things which you allow."
Sin erodes slowly. So go to God and "flee evil."

I don't know your mind as far as justifying the sin.
My advice tho is, get out. Take the step, it gets easier. It's how we grow.
Pick a side and get off the fence.

ChristIsKingofKings · Thursday at 9:19 PM

Hello all, it’s been a while.

Big Update. I am now completely done with FFXIV. Last week I watched a video that spoke directly to my heart, which I believe was from the Lord, and I was convicted of playing the game as well as some other things.

It wasn’t very fun telling my friend, but I believe getting rid of the game was the right thing to do.

I will admit, now that it’s done, that there is a little doubt in me. I also wonder what all my friends might be thinking (which I shouldn’t I know), wondering whether these actions will harm their own chances of reconciliation with God. I know this is not my concern and that it’s between them and the King of Kings, I just worry about them which I shouldn’t do.

Regardless, I believe that this is the Lord’s will and I won’t back down unless He tells me to.

Thank you all for your love and support. Thank you for your prayers. And I thank our God most of all for doing what only He can do.

Junotheservant · Sunday at 2:25 AM

ChristIsKingofKings said:
TL;DR - I’m autistic, have anxiety. Wasted days playing video games, met friends playing said games who are unbelievers. Gave my life to Jesus and now am very selective on what I play and how long I play thanks be to God. Stopped playing a game called FFXIV, unsure if that was the right decision, one friend who I was playing with expressed his frustrations. Now uncertain whether this is a conviction or my own anxiety, and uncertain if I’m being legalistic or taking things too literally. Need advice / prayers. Thank you.

Hello Brothers and Sisters in Christ.

For some background, I’m 22, I have high functioning Autism (equal to lvl 1 ASD I think) and quite severe anxiety (which it’s my own fault my anxiety is so bad). I grew up knowing OF Jesus but was basically an atheist and I didn’t really care about Jesus.

That was until about a year and a half ago where God made Himself known to me. I knew for definite that He is the way, the truth and the life, and realised, all glory to God, just how much He truly loves us despite our sins. I repented of my sins and accepted Him, confessing with my mouth and believing in my heart that Jesus Christ is Lord and He was raised from the dead! I have yet to be baptised but I want to as soon as possible!

Now, up until recently, by far my BIGGEST hobby and passion was gaming. I LOVED 100%ing games and collecting platinum trophies. My PlayStation was basically my life for the past 8 years, to the point where I played them wherever I could, 12 hours a day some days. I played all sorts of games, from what I consider now to be good games such as Mario and Sonic to now not-so-good games like GTA, God of War, Saints Row etc.

I didn’t really have any real life friends. Didn’t have any other passions. Didn’t and still have no idea on my career path, any potential relationships or anything else really. Gaming was my enjoyment, my escape from reality, from my anxieties and worries and fears, a place where I can immerse myself in fiction to avoid the world around me. I even left Sixth Form (or College - I’m British lol) partly because I didn’t want to do anything else other than play video games. That’s how bad it was.

I isolated myself from the world and admittedly didn’t care for anything else more than games, including even my own family (ain’t proud of that one).

During this time I made a few online friends and we’re still friends today. I used to play all sorts of games with them, laugh and joke with them and I just generally had a good time around them. Again, this was during the time where I was worldly, didn’t truly know the Lord and didn’t care about knowing Him. I cared about games more than anything else, including Him.

Thanks be to God that all changed.

Now, as the Lord draws me nearer to Him, my love and enjoyment for gaming has decreased. All glory be to God. Over the past months He has led me to pray more, read His Word and spend more time with Him. He has made me aware of sins I didn’t even know about, aware of just how prideful and selfish I can be. Sometimes I fall short, massively short, I’m not always obedient and I let my anxieties get in the way a lot. I’m far from perfect. And to think He willing went to the cross for me anyway. Hallelujah! Praise God!

God has transformed me and continues to do so. Now my greatest desire is to be with Him in eternity and to be like Christ as much as possible during my time on this earth. As part of this transformation I believe the Holy Spirit has made me more aware how dark and sinful this world is because of us, and how the entertainment industry is growing darker and darker. I truly believe Satan has his hands in the modern day entertainment industry with some of the movies and games that exist nowadays.

Therefore, many of the games that I used to immerse myself in have lost their appeal. I’ve believe I’ve been convicted by the Holy Spirit on what games I’m playing and how much I’m playing them (this happened whilst playing a game called Killing Floor 3 with my online friends). I still enjoy some games like Mario but many games that I used to enjoy I now feel uneasy about playing. I’ll never touch GTA again. Now, I’m very selective about what I play (no blood or gore, no gross sexual immorality, no witchcraft) and I like to play for no more than 3-4 hours a day.

However, I have also come to realise how much of a bad influence my online friends have been. My online friends are all unbelievers and always have been to my knowledge. They know not what they do. I won’t stop being friends with them (unless I’m directed otherwise by God) as we’re commanded to love each other and I don’t think me ditching them is very loving. Also, they’ve been, even now, very loyal, honest and loving towards me in their own ways. They’re great friends and I love them.

However, I will admit, I don’t like being around them like I used to. I don’t engage with them like I used to due to their gossiping and coarse language and joking. But again, I used to be exactly the same especially around them, and would still be the same if not for Jesus. But maybe I don’t love them like I used to either because of this.

So, to the situation at hand. Me and one of my online friends have been playing a game called Final Fantasy 14, or FFXIV together. A fantasy MMO. I’m sure some of you here would’ve heard or played it, or are playing it now.

We have both put thousands of hours into this game. Both of us throughly enjoy it and I’ve been immersed in it since Dec 2022.

For the past few months I’ve been seriously contemplating whether I should continue playing FFXIV or not. On the one hand, there are some great themes in this game like loyalty, teamwork, sacrifice, good vs evil dynamic, being helpful. Much of the game is helping people and saving the world, which is awesome!

However, I’ve felt like I shouldn’t be playing this game either, as this game is heavy on magic and spell casting seeing as it’s a fantasy game There are also many false gods present and while I understand that this is a completely made up fictional universe and I ain’t gonna literally bow down to any of these false gods, I’m still not too fond of this. I’d much rather there be no god in a game than a false one personally. There are also other things like the game claiming that light and dark should be balanced, with too much light being a bad thing, when in reality Christ is the light of the world and we are be children of God.

So I was, and still am, uncertain if I should continue playing or not. This caused me great distress and anxiety. One day I felt good playing the game, the next I felt awful. This carried on for a while. Eventually I stopped playing, mainly due to Romans 14:22-23, for all my anxiety and doubting was not of faith. So I stopped, thinking this was right.

Here’s the thing, my friend who I was playing FFXIV with was VERY displeased at this. Not sure about my other online friends, but the one who I was playing with is very annoyed. I sorta don’t blame him. With how many hours we’ve put into the game, for me to just get up and stop playing, he feels as if this was very unfair. I get that. I didn’t handle it in the best way possible. I also didn’t actually tell him for a couple weeks either due to anxiety (which is no excuse).

We talked on it and he basically sees all games as okay as it’s all entertainment. As long as you don’t replicate the things you do in the game in real life, it’s fine. I understand where he coming from, and maybe he’s in the right honestly. And he expressed how upset he is at my actions. Again, I should’ve handled it better and, yeah, I probably didn’t show the love that I should’ve in that moment.

But this is where me being autistic comes into play. As an autistic male, I tend to take things very literally. My take on it is that the Lord hates violence (Psalm 11:5) so why am I enjoying a game and supporting a game with mass gore and violence, the Lord hates witchcraft and is an act of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21) so why am I enjoying something with witchcraft. Shouldn’t we hate what the Lord hates and love what He loves? Isn’t playing games with glorified violence and enjoying them enjoying what is sin? Or am I taking that too literally and being legalistic?

I’m aware the Bible depicts a lot of violence and witchcraft and sexual immorality. But this is the Word of God. Sin is NEVER glorified in His Word. It’s there to teach us lessons, how broken we are, how incredible He is, to build us up in the faith, amongst other things. In these games, however, sin IS glorified, and usually the only purpose for it is to entertain. That’s a key difference for me personally.

But at the same time, am I being unloving towards my friend by just leaving him alone on the game without warning? Have I been unloving towards my other friends for the other games that I don’t want to play anymore?

This happened last week, and since then I have stayed away from them out of anxiety, fear and guilt. I feel awful. I feel like any future attempts for the Lord to use me as His vessel to evangelise to my friends is now permanently harmed. And now I’m doubting whether this was actually conviction or whether all of this is just my own anxiety. I want them to come to Christ but it feels like I’m pushing them away rather than sowing the seed.

I don’t want to lose my friends, they’re the only friends I currently have. But I’d rather lose them than lose God. God is everything to me. More than anything I want to do His Will (been messing up there recently but that’s a topic for another day) but I don’t know what His Will is here.

I want to go back to FFXIV and enjoy playing with my friend again, but not if it’s a sin to do so. Nor do I want to not go back, and be in sin due to not being loving by not going back.

So, I’m at a loss. I’ve prayed and will continue talking to God. I pray His Will be done. But I had a thought (probably from the Holy Spirit) to come on here and see what you guys think.

Advice would be appreciated. Prayers would be appreciated. Even a swift metaphorical kick up the bottom (or in other words a rebuke) would be appreciated if I’m massively missing the mark here.

Thank you all for taking the time to read all this. I greatly appreciate it.

I love you all and Jesus loves you more ❤️❤️❤️.

Levi.

I'm not sure if I am qualified to answer this post because the LORD told me to cast the beam out of my eye first. What I want to say is that I'm addicted to video games as well. League of Legends particularly is a problem for me, I also play turn based games on steam. I don't feel convicted on the type I play just the time I spend doing it. I did drop Witcher 3 because of nudity and that was a problem for me when I was in the world. Witchcraft isn't an issue for me because I don't desire to practice it and it also teaches me something because ain't nothing new under the sun.

The action of playing video games is not a sin but the time invested into can be a problem. It can lead to slothfulness (which God hates) and surfeiting (which is excess, which means you are not displaying the fruits of the spirits).

You will need to insert a hobby or extracurricular activity in there to get away from the games. That's what I did and it helped me a lot. I took a side job as a farmer, so right after work I head to the farm and I'm there until like 7pm which shaved off all those hours I use to game. Not only do I get exercise but I can mediate on scripture as well because the LORD is always comparing his creation to agriculture such as the parable of the seed Sower. I picked up other hobbies such as learning an instrument and dancing which is tough to keep up since I do that at home where my gaming laptop is located. So I will need something to work on my consistency but I'm happy to say I at least read the bible on most days.

I also adjusted my morning schedule. I use to get up and start gaming, instead, I pray and read a few chapters out of the bible. It helps to set the tone of the day. Not always successful but getting better. The point is to start making small changes. Maybe just read 1 or 2 bible chapters each day as a start. The Psalms are really short so on the 1st day of each month you can read Psalm 1 and keep going until you have read the entire thing each day. You should know yourself, so do what will work for you and ask God for help.

Luke 21: 34
34 And take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting, and drunkenness, and cares of this life, and so that day come upon you unawares.

Galatians 5: 22 - 23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Temperance is self control. So I got work to do in that department. I can't really say what do about friends since I don't have any besides Jesus. If you feel playing a game will drag you back into old ways then quit.

I hope this helps you and all the best.

ChristIsKingofKings · Monday at 10:28 AM

Junotheservant said:
What I want to say is that I'm addicted to video games as well. League of Legends particularly is a problem for me, I also play turn based games on steam. I don't feel convicted on the type I play just the time I spend doing it. I did drop Witcher 3 because of nudity and that was a problem for me when I was in the world. Witchcraft isn't an issue for me because I don't desire to practice it and it also teaches me something because ain't nothing new under the sun.

Trust me, gaming was the most important thing on my mind for 8 years up until this past year. So you’re not alone on that one. I was obsessed with it, and still would be if not for the Lord.

Junotheservant said:
You will need to insert a hobby or extracurricular activity in there to get away from the games. That's what I did and it helped me a lot. I took a side job as a farmer, so right after work I head to the farm and I'm there until like 7pm which shaved off all those hours I use to game. Not only do I get exercise but I can mediate on scripture as well because the LORD is always comparing his creation to agriculture such as the parable of the seed Sower.

I absolutely love this. Was not expecting you to say farming as a hobby to replace gaming. That’s awesome honestly.

I’m glad you found something you not only enjoy, but also allows you to meditate on the Word and soak up some of that fresh air that God has given us.

I can still be quite lazy some days. Not as bad as I used to be thanks be to the Lord continually changing and transforming me, but there are still days where I am too slothful admittedly.

Don’t think I’ll take up farming unless it’s the Lord’s Will (the idea of handling cow manure up close is a little off putting lol) but one thing I am getting into a little bit is coding, as it’s all logic based and I’m a very logical person.

Thank you for your advice brother/sister. And it seems to me as if you’re very much on the right track also. All glory to God.

Junotheservant · Monday at 11:53 AM

ChristIsKingofKings said:
Trust me, gaming was the most important thing on my mind for 8 years up until this past year. So you’re not alone on that one. I was obsessed with it, and still would be if not for the Lord.

Yea video games are quite addicting. I used to watch anime and Netflix but those habits fizzled out. It's difficult for me to sit and watch something. I need to be doing something. So it's easy for me to game for hours but in order to watch an hour episode I got to break it into pieces because I'm fed up after 20 minutes.

ChristIsKingofKings said:
I absolutely love this. Was not expecting you to say farming as a hobby to replace gaming. That’s awesome honestly.

I’m glad you found something you not only enjoy, but also allows you to meditate on the Word and soak up some of that fresh air that God has given us.

I can still be quite lazy some days. Not as bad as I used to be thanks be to the Lord continually changing and transforming me, but there are still days where I am too slothful admittedly.

Don’t think I’ll take up farming unless it’s the Lord’s Will (the idea of handling cow manure up close is a little off putting lol) but one thing I am getting into a little bit is coding, as it’s all logic based and I’m a very logical person.

Thank you for your advice brother/sister. And it seems to me as if you’re very much on the right track also. All glory to God.

Praise the LORD indeed. I live in the Caribbean so plenty of opportunity for me to do so. It could honestly be anything, before I started farming I would just go on 1 hour walks which was also amazing. I like physical activity. I realize I have issues staying in one place. I suspect I have ADHD or ADD but never diagnosed it so who knows.

Certain habits take a while to break so don't beat yourself up too much. I also forget to mention that fasting helps to break strong holds. Peace to you and have a good day.

Should I continue playing or stop playing this game?

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