4 Common Misconceptions about Egalitarianism

Paidiske · Jan 6, 2026

This is an old blog post, but I found it quite helpful in addressing (false) ideas that I see brought up again and again:

4 Common Misconceptions About Egalitarianism

This is the second post in our series, One In Christ: A Week of Mutuality , dedicated to discussing an egalitarian view of gender—including relevant biblical texts and practical applications. The goal is to show how scripture, tradition, reason, and experience all support a postu

rachelheldevans.com

peaceful-forest · Jan 11, 2026

I found #3 to be shocking. I don't think I've heard that argument. But I can see complementarians saying that. This false doctrine of "God ordained men to be leaders" has hurt so many people.

I struggle with #2 myself. Maybe it's who I am as a person. I think women should stay home with their children and home school them. If I had children, I would do that too (if I was able to). But I can't see myself being a "traditional wife". When I hear that word, I think of a beautiful woman that obeys her husband and does whatever he wants, whether it's good or evil in God's eyes.

#4 made me angry too. I don't think complementarians take the Bible seriously. There's some hardcore people in that belief that use the Bible for selfish authority. Once on the Internet when I asked someone why they held a particular belief, I was told "you need to be quiet and ask your husband". I'm single, I don't have a husband.

Paidiske · Jan 11, 2026

peaceful-forest said:
I found #3 to be shocking. I don't think I've heard that argument. But I can see complementarians saying that.

Maybe not in those exact words, but I've heard the idea that if one of you doesn't have the right to make the decision, then too often if you disagree you'll be stuck at an impasse, that kind of thing.

It's like they have no idea that there are many ways to resolve disagreements, and many models for shared decision making, and we don't all have to default to some sort of quasi-military hierarchy in order to get things done.

peaceful-forest said:
I struggle with #2 myself. Maybe it's who I am as a person. I think women should stay home with their children and home school them. If I had children, I would do that too (if I was able to).

Everyone is different. If that's what one woman is gifted for, and feels called to, all power to her elbow. Other women have other gifts and callings. (Some children thrive being home schooled, for some children it's a disaster).

I cannot, for one second, find it convincing that it's genuinely egalitarian to deny the callings and gifts of women, to try to shove us all into the one domestic role. I might be able to buy it as an egalitarian argument, if it was put as, one parent should stay home with their children (and the couple can decide which parent based on the strengths and needs of each etc). But somehow, it's never put that way.

peaceful-forest said:
#4 made me angry too.

It's false, and a cheap shot, but it's incredibly common. The idea that if we don't agree with a particular interpretation of Scripture, we must be wilfullly disobedient, rebellious, and ignoring Scripture, is something that gets thrown around all the time (and in fact is why this particular forum exists, because at one time wider CF was so overrun with that, we lobbied hard to have one space free of it!)

Rose_bud · Jan 16, 2026

Paidiske said:
This is an old blog post, but I found it quite helpful in addressing (false) ideas that I see brought up again and again:

4 Common Misconceptions About Egalitarianism

This is the second post in our series, One In Christ: A Week of Mutuality , dedicated to discussing an egalitarian view of gender—including relevant biblical texts and practical applications. The goal is to show how scripture, tradition, reason, and experience all support a postu

rachelheldevans.com

I would add that another common misconception would be that if you hold to egalitarian views. You are on some kind of "slippery slope" to endorsing same-sex ideologies. Regardless of whether you hold to egalitarian or complementarian views, same-sex marriage is an entirely different theological debate and shouldn't be conflated.

Paidiske · Jan 16, 2026

Yes! That one comes up on these forums all the time, and I've made that point myself.

peaceful-forest · Jan 17, 2026

Rose_bud said:
I would add that another common misconception would be that if you hold to egalitarian views. You are on some kind of "slippery slope" to endorsing same-sex ideologies. Regardless of whether you hold to egalitarian or complementarian views, same-sex marriage is an entirely different theological debate and shouldn't be conflated.

Not to derail the thread, but I'm glad you stated this. I've been an egalitarian for almost a year. I wasn't sure where egalitarians stand on homosexuality, and couldn't find an answer in any faith statement.

Paidiske · Jan 17, 2026

As @Rose_bud said, it's a completely separate issue. So you'll find egalitarians who hold a whole diverse range of views on homosexuality, just like with everyone else, because being egalitarian doesn't then entail any particular view on any other topic.

2PhiloVoid · May 5, 2026

Paidiske said:
This is an old blog post, but I found it quite helpful in addressing (false) ideas that I see brought up again and again:

4 Common Misconceptions About Egalitarianism

This is the second post in our series, One In Christ: A Week of Mutuality , dedicated to discussing an egalitarian view of gender—including relevant biblical texts and practical applications. The goal is to show how scripture, tradition, reason, and experience all support a postu

rachelheldevans.com

Having years ago read the late Rachel Held Evans book, Faith Unraveled, and commiserating with her on selected aspects of her own critical inquiries about faith, I empathize with the typical angst that she and many people (particularly women) feel in relation to the Christian Faith.

We all would like to have a safer space in which to inquire into the truth(s) of the faith and of the reality which we all share.

mourningdove~ · May 30, 2026

Paidiske said:
This is an old blog post, but I found it quite helpful in addressing (false) ideas that I see brought up again and again:

4 Common Misconceptions About Egalitarianism

This is the second post in our series, One In Christ: A Week of Mutuality , dedicated to discussing an egalitarian view of gender—including relevant biblical texts and practical applications. The goal is to show how scripture, tradition, reason, and experience all support a postu

rachelheldevans.com

Can I ask a question? (This seems like a good place to do so.)

I'm trying to understand the complementarian/egalitarian issue better.

The churches I've been in have all been complementarian, but I notice some churches changing now and 'softening' that message.

It wasn't until a year or so ago that I even became aware of this as being an 'issue' within the Body of Christ.

So my question, for you/anybody here, would be this:
Does this shift towards egalitarianism have anything do with all the domestic abuse happening in Christian marriages?

When I first heard about egalitarianism, I frankly was shocked.
But after learning more about the extent of abuse in Christian marriages, I'm not shocked anymore.

peaceful-forest · May 30, 2026

mourningdove~ said:
Can I ask a question? (This seems like a good place to do so.)

I'm trying to understand the complementarian/egalitarian issue better.

The churches I've been in have all been complementarian, but I notice some churches changing now and 'softening' that message.

It wasn't until a year or so ago that I even became aware of this as being an 'issue' within the Body of Christ.

So my question, for you/anybody here, would be this:
Does this shift towards egalitarianism have anything do with all the domestic abuse happening in Christian marriages?

When I first heard about egalitarianism, I frankly was shocked.
But after learning more about the extent of abuse in Christian marriages, I'm not shocked anymore.

I can give you my answer.

I used to be somewhat Complementarian before becoming Egalitarian. I had gotten caught up in false Christianity that made me miserable. I had listened to an unbiblical teacher named Lori Alexander, who had convinced me that when women get married, everything is about the husband, and spiritual things are to be done through the husband, for example, learning about the Bible. I felt like my relationship with God was being severed for the sake of my future husband and his "God-given authority". But as I said, Lori is an unbiblical teacher and this is not sound doctrine.

I learned from an Egalitarian named Sheila Wray Gregoire that English Bibles do not translate accurately in certain areas concerning the New Testament and the original Greek. That started my journey into Egalitarianism.

The things that we believe that Paul says out of sexism has been either mistranslated or misinterpreted. For example, the verses in 1 Timothy that supposedly prohibit all women from preaching and teaching for all time has nothing to do with that. Margo Mowczko completed research concerning these verses and discovered that Paul was only temporarily prohibiting one woman from teaching. I will give you the article to read:

3 reasons why it's a woman, not all women, in 1 Timothy 2:12 - Marg Mowczko

Here are 3 reasons why 1 Timothy 2:12 may be about a particular couple in the Ephesian church and not Paul's general thoughts on ministry.

margmowczko.com

peaceful-forest · May 30, 2026

@mourningdove~

mourningdove~ · May 30, 2026

peaceful-forest said:
@mourningdove~

Very interesting.

I'll spend some time reading the above article, too.
(Thank you!)

It has been heartbreaking, to learn that so many Christian women are being, and have been, abused by their Christian husbands. And how the Scriptures are being twisted and used to do it. Heartbreaking, the suffering this is causing.

Paidiske · May 30, 2026

mourningdove~ said:
So my question, for you/anybody here, would be this:
Does this shift towards egalitarianism have anything do with all the domestic abuse happening in Christian marriages?

The short answer is yes.

There are other reasons too, of course; but there has been a lot of research done in recent years on what drives domestic abuse, what attitudes underpin it, and so on. And it's been found that consistently, where people believe in gender-based hierarchy and rigid gender roles, those attitudes provide the justification which allows abuse to flourish. Primary prevention of abuse is in large part about challenging those views, to remove that underpinning justification.

mourningdove~ · May 30, 2026

Paidiske said:
The short answer is yes.

There are other reasons too, of course; but there has been a lot of research done in recent years on what drives domestic abuse, what attitudes underpin it, and so on. And it's been found that consistently, where people believe in gender-based hierarchy and rigid gender roles, those attitudes provide the justification which allows abuse to flourish. Primary prevention of abuse is in large part about challenging those views, to remove that underpinning justification.

I read a real good book that discusses what you've shared. "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft. Bancroft has worked for years counselling abusive men. For me, it was a very eye-opening book.

To hear younger Christian women talk today, the problem appears to have become almost epidemic in our society. But I'm sure now that it's always gone on. Christian women of previous generations apparently just didn't publicly talk about the abuse. They 'submitted' and suffered and kept quiet about it, like they were told to do.

"Called to Peace Ministries" here in the U.S. is doing a real good work in supporting abused Christian women. And one of their outreach programs is directed towards church pastors, those who want to learn more about domestic abuse and how to help and support the abused. Progress with the pastors appears to be going slowly, but it's happening. Perhaps with more widespread knowledge and understanding we'll start to see some reform in our churches where abuse is considered a woman's lot in life.

4 Common Misconceptions about Egalitarianism

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