I have doubts about my relationship

MissH84 · Apr 27, 2026

Me and my partner have been together for over 13 years but since I started taking my faith more seriously and growing in my relationship with God, I`ve paid more attention to things I don`t like about him. He`s not abusive or anything like that and he treats me well.
He calls himself a Christian but the way he behaves and talks isn`t very Christ like.
[Staff Edit]
I don`t remember the last time we were intimate because since growing in my faith it feels wrong because we`re not married and when we are intimate, I just let him "do it" but I feel empty and kinda sad.
The thing is that I love him but I think it`s more like a friend.
There are two reasons why it`s difficult for me to leave and they are: I`m not making enough money to support myself (maybe to rent a cheap room) and guilt, he has a disability and I`m the one doing all his shopping, taking him to hospital appointment (by bus) etc and I would constantly wonder if he`s ok. I think that if we broke up, I would still help him with things and I would be happy to do so.
To make things even more complicated, I like someone from my church but apart from saying Hi in passing and smiling I try not to talk to him too much because I don`t wanna entertain anything. I`m still in a relationship even though I get annoyed when people ask me how my partner is because I have told very few about the situation so I just say `He`s ok` and change the topic.
About this other person, it could just be a church crush but it`s been going on for almost a year and I think he might be interested in me too based on how I sometimes catch him looking at me and the way he smiles at me when we walk past each other.
I know that even if me and my partner broke up, it doesn`t mean that it`s in Gods will for me to be with the other man.
At church I see this man singing worship songs, praying and occasionally preaching and then I come home to cussing and what not.
I want someone I can pray and read the bible with and I don`t have that with my partner.
I guess I just want some advice and please pray for God to give me clarity about this whole situation.

Delvianna · Apr 27, 2026

Reasons to stay in a relationship:
They draw you closer to God
They make you a better person
You feel loved
You feel safe
You feel like you can be yourself

Don't stay in a relationship:
Out of obligation, duty or pitty
If they're leading you to sin

But have you talked to your partner about this? How you feel about their cursing, porn and comments?

bèlla · Apr 27, 2026

You have to broach the problem from two prongs. The shortfall you're experiencing financially can't be ignored. Since the environment isn't dangerous you have an opportunity to improve your skills while there and should do so. Look for employment training programs especially those for needing skills and followthrough. If you ignore this part you'll be forced the find another to supplement your living expenses or put pressure on him to change. You can't force him to do as you have. Prayer is important but the choice is his.

Statistically speaking, men take longer to bend and this can be a lengthy road. There are ministries that deal with unequally yoked pairings and you can find them online. But I would encourage you to seek discipleship and prayer in your vicinity if possible. A strong women's ministry at a local church with discipleship and fellowship will offer the support you're lacking and may be aware of helpful resources.

Thirteen years is long time to be with someone and you can use your tenure for your peace of mind and his without drawing attention. Give the matter to the Lord and be honest. If you'd like to marry in the future whether it's him or another that's your position and where you focus. Pour your energy into becoming a woman of God and devour all the resources you can on the subject.

Saturate the bedroom with righteousness while he rests. Look up the channel Soakstream and choose a video that will play overnight on your phone and infuse the atmosphere with the word. You'll notice a difference immediately and most notably by a week. Only the truth sets us free and the sword is the word. Be slow to speak, quick to listen and slow to anger. Pray for him and yourself everyday and let the Lord. Put the relationship on the altar and lay your Isaac down. He'll redeem it or put another in its place but take your hands off.

~bella

MissH84 · Apr 29, 2026

Delvianna said:
But have you talked to your partner about this? How you feel about their cursing, porn and comments?

I have more than once. He has said that he sees my point but other times he has said that he`s saved by grace (I guess that means he thinks he can behave anyhow because he believes Jesus died on the cross for our sins.). It`s like what I say goes in one ear and out the next.

MissH84 · Apr 29, 2026

bèlla said:
You have to broach the problem from two prongs. The shortfall you're experiencing financially can't be ignored. Since the environment isn't dangerous you have an opportunity to improve your skills while there and should do so. Look for employment training programs especially those for needing skills and followthrough. If you ignore this part you'll be forced the find another to supplement your living expenses or put pressure on him to change. You can't force him to do as you have. Prayer is important but the choice is his.

Statistically speaking, men take longer to bend and this can be a lengthy road. There are ministries that deal with unequally yoked pairings and you can find them online. But I would encourage you to seek discipleship and prayer in your vicinity if possible. A strong women's ministry at a local church with discipleship and fellowship will offer the support you're lacking and may be aware of helpful resources.

Thirteen years is long time to be with someone and you can use your tenure for your peace of mind and his without drawing attention. Give the matter to the Lord and be honest. If you'd like to marry in the future whether it's him or another that's your position and where you focus. Pour your energy into becoming a woman of God and devour all the resources you can on the subject.

Saturate the bedroom with righteousness while he rests. Look up the channel Soakstream and choose a video that will play overnight on your phone and infuse the atmosphere with the word. You'll notice a difference immediately and most notably by a week. Only the truth sets us free and the sword is the word. Be slow to speak, quick to listen and slow to anger. Pray for him and yourself everyday and let the Lord. Put the relationship on the altar and lay your Isaac down. He'll redeem it or put another in its place but take your hands off.

~bella

I have a job so I`m making some money but it`s not enough because it`s a zero hours contract. I really desire marriage but I don`t think I want to marry him. I need to focus more on becoming a woman of God and trust that He will guide me to make the right deccision. I know deep inside what I want but maybe God has other plans for me.

Richard T · Apr 29, 2026

MissH84 said:
Me and my partner have been together for over 13 years but since I started taking my faith more seriously and growing in my relationship with God, I`ve paid more attention to things I don`t like about him. He`s not abusive or anything like that and he treats me well.
He calls himself a Christian but the way he behaves and talks isn`t very Christ like.

MissH84 said:
I don`t remember the last time we were intimate because since growing in my faith it feels wrong because we`re not married and when we are intimate, I just let him "do it" but I feel empty and kinda sad.
The thing is that I love him but I think it`s more like a friend.
There are two reasons why it`s difficult for me to leave and they are: I`m not making enough money to support myself (maybe to rent a cheap room) and guilt, he has a disability and I`m the one doing all his shopping, taking him to hospital appointment (by bus) etc and I would constantly wonder if he`s ok. I think that if we broke up, I would still help him with things and I would be happy to do so.
To make things even more complicated, I like someone from my church but apart from saying Hi in passing and smiling I try not to talk to him too much because I don`t wanna entertain anything. I`m still in a relationship even though I get annoyed when people ask me how my partner is because I have told very few about the situation so I just say `He`s ok` and change the topic.
About this other person, it could just be a church crush but it`s been going on for almost a year and I think he might be interested in me too based on how I sometimes catch him looking at me and the way he smiles at me when we walk past each other.
I know that even if me and my partner broke up, it doesn`t mean that it`s in Gods will for me to be with the other man.
At church I see this man singing worship songs, praying and occasionally preaching and then I come home to cussing and what not.
I want someone I can pray and read the bible with and I don`t have that with my partner.
I guess I just want some advice and please pray for God to give me clarity about this whole situation.

Sounds like you are ready to move on. I dated someone longer than you but if no marriage after so many years, then what is going on? Friends, even a couple of strangers warned me, and I can say they were right. You have to make a choice on these never ending relationships that only cause you to wander in the desert but never reach the promised land. Sounds like the man is holding you back and better candidates are out there. I finally moved on and it was a great decision. Sure, you can try and change him, but good luck with that. Pressuring into marriage too will likely not work and could be a disaster. I will say too that as my wandering and waiting was much longer, that I told God no pre-marital sex in the future. I was tired of my own ways, and finally smart enough to just follow Him in that. It was a fantastic decision because sex steals so many relationships and typically takes one outside the blessings of God especially if it is lasting. The promised land is marriage with equally yoked partner where you both are positive for each other in God. God bless.

Macchiato · Monday at 7:27 PM

MissH84 said:
I have a job so I`m making some money but it`s not enough because it`s a zero hours contract. I really desire marriage but I don`t think I want to marry him. I need to focus more on becoming a woman of God and trust that He will guide me to make the right deccision. I know deep inside what I want but maybe God has other plans for me.

I would leave before you end up having a child by him. That would complicate things 10 times over.

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I have doubts about my relationship

MissH84

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Delvianna

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bèlla

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MissH84

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MissH84

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Richard T

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Macchiato

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