Is it unbliblical for a Christian man to be attracted to androgynous women?

Truth7t7 · Jan 27, 2025

TheRisingSun said:
Actually, my church's also pretty conservative too.

Direct Questions?

1.) Does your church allow practicing homosexuals into membership?

2.) Does your church allow same sex married couples into membership?

TheRisingSun · Jan 27, 2025

Truth7t7 said:
Direct Questions?

1.) Does your church allow practicing homosexuals into membership?

2.) Does your church allow same sex married couples into membership?

No and no.

Truth7t7 · Jan 27, 2025

TheRisingSun said:
No and no.

Thanks for the response

TheRisingSun · Jan 27, 2025

@bèlla , you're a bit more mature than me spiritually. What are your thoughts?

Because I'm starting to think I'm not so abnormal after all.

seeking.IAM · Jan 27, 2025

TheRisingSun said:
In the past, I've said that my ideal type, in terms of personality, is a total tomboy.... I ain't that crazy about femininity.

I would not sweat it. I'm an old guy, happily married for more than a few decades now. When I was a young fellow in the dating market, I was attracted to plain women...natural women without make-up and long polished nails. It was a preference but they were still women. The downside was that once or twice it put me in the unknowing situation of having someone I fancied be more interested in women than me. But, you don't know the end of your story. In my case despite what I liked, I ended up with a make-up wearing woman who likes getting her nails done. Go figure.

At the end of the day, there are things more important than appearances.

TheRisingSun · Jan 27, 2025

timewerx said:
It didn't bother me that you like masculine women. I also like masculine women to some degree (to me it's more towards the character than the appearance).

What bothers me concerns your past posts is you prefer being feminine yourself and don't like doing masculine things as a man while at the same time attracted to masculine women.

Most women also prefer being feminine themselves and is attracted to masculine men (before social media forced fed us the idea that masculinity is toxic/evil).

You're leaning way too far towards the female side as a male. And that can be become an issue if you don't control your fantasies.

And knowing you, your advice for me is to become more masculine.

timewerx · Jan 27, 2025

TheRisingSun said:
And knowing you, your advice for me is to become more masculine.

I only used the words "masculine" and "feminine" to help explain what I mean but "masculinity" and "femininity" does not exist under the New Covenant of Jesus Christ. Women are required of the same things from men, except to be leaders (however, this could depend on the context and there are circumstances that women can be leaders as well).

I observed that you're looking for a "super" or "action-hero" type of women but the thing is, Jesus also looks for the same qualities of all His followers (John 14:12). Both male and female.

You need to grow in character with the Holy Spirit and become the person you're looking for. Even if you think you can't, pray for help and try your best.

com7fy8 · Jan 27, 2025

Seek what is beautiful to God.

TheRisingSun · Feb 5, 2025

PloverWing said:
Absolutely, yes. In my church, and in the churches around me, some of the Christians in the congregations fit the traditional gender stereotypes and some don't. Most have found a partner or spouse who loves them the way they are.

You may be experiencing a narrow range of Christians at your church. That is, if your church is complementarian and/or preaches that conformity to traditional gender roles and gender presentations is important, then egalitarian and gender-nonconforming women probably leave your church to find a different one -- and, thus, you don't see them, because they're not in your church. So that may give you the impression that gender-nonconforming Christians are unusual.

So you've met Christian men/boys who've crushed on straight up butches before? I've crushed on a female cop like that, and Private Vasquez from "Aliens" is a total heartthrob to me.

PloverWing · Feb 5, 2025

TheRisingSun said:
So you've met Christian men/boys who've crushed on straight up butches before? I've crushed on a female cop like that, and Private Vasquez from "Aliens" is a total heartthrob to me.

Let me answer the question from the other direction: I know gender-nonconforming Christian women who have found male romantic partners who value them and make them happy. You could be that kind of romantic partner to someone.

2PhiloVoid · Feb 5, 2025

TheRisingSun said:
So you've met Christian men/boys who've crushed on straight up butches before? I've crushed on a female cop like that, and Private Vasquez from "Aliens" is a total heartthrob to me.

..... I could be wrong, but I think most guys back in the 1980's recognized that 'Private Vasquez' had it going on, and that was a decade before G.I. Jane even came along.

You can just drop this concern you're having, really. It's practically inconsequential.

No one here who is sane is going to misconstrue Aliens 2 with The Crying Game.

Johan2222 · Feb 18, 2025

Matthew 5:28-30 NKJV
But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. [29] If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. [30] And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

Matthew 6:22-23 ASV
The lamp of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. [23] But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is the darkness!

Jo555 · Mar 6, 2025

TheRisingSun said:
So apparently, my year has started with me learning I have problems with my mouth (cursing and disrespect), and God helping me get dental coverage--which I prayed for on the same day...and me basically tearing my hair out over my romantic preferences again. Ugh! I'm sorry, but I spend way more time on X than I should--so many accounts there push for traditional gender roles and feminine women. It makes me feel like such an outcast sometimes.

In the past, I've said that my ideal type, in terms of personality, is a total tomboy. A woman who's mostly--if not entirely--masculine. A girl who's "one of the guys" and can be my bro. I ain't that crazy about femininity. So in the past, I talked about inward traits that I'm attracted to. But this time, I want to focus on the outward. And don't worry, I didn't forget Proverbs 31:30.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." -Proverbs 31:30, New International Version

Now, as the title implies, I'm to an extent, attracted to androgyny in women. Specifically, a combination of athletic/muscular bodies, very short hair (we're talking boyishly so, like pixie cuts), small or flat chests, and/or happy trails (meaning navel hair). Basically, a look that either gets a woman mistaken for a butch lesbian, or looks like she's trying to audition for a movie role as Joan of Arc. What's a bit ironic is, I kinda developed this taste after learning about Joan of Arc and her tale.

I realized this about myself 2 years ago. I had found this manwha--meaning, Korean comic book--titled "The Knight and Her Emperor." And one of the main characters is a knight named Paulina, whose emperor Lucius has a crush on her. Paulina has boyishly short red hair, is muscular and scarred, and her chest is small. Despite the fact that she presented herself as a man in war (Deuteronomy 22:5 makes it clear this is a sin)--keep in mind her father got her sent to war in hopes of getting her killed so her little sister can inherit the family fortune--I found myself thinking to myself, "Wow, she's kind of...handsome." Not the kind of word you'd use to describe a woman you were attracted to.View attachment 360266 View attachment 360267 View attachment 360268

I remember late in 2024, there was this butch female cop at my job. Slightly taller than me, short hair, kind of broad body. She even came to my work area in a flannel shirt to get her police uniform. Sadly for me, a few weeks into her employment, she got moved to a different hospital. (Did I mention that I work at a clinic?) I wanted to say something to her, but I was afraid she'd turn out to be a lesbian, as I've accidentally crushed on two lesbians before because they were masculine.

And I found out about this trope in anime called "reverse traps"--referring to female characters who looks (and in many cases acts, sounds, and even dresses) like a male, leading to them being mistaken as male. On one hand, I knew I couldn't condone crossdressing, but on the other hand, their masculine appearances just kind of got to me. View attachment 360270
(BTW, this short-haired cutie is from Chainsaw Man.)

For that reason, I'm emotionally conflicted about this anime called "How I Attended An All-Guys Mixer." Basically, the plot is that a college student and two of his friends are invited to a mixer by a female classmates, but the three guys find three handsome men there--or do they? It turns out that the three "men" are actually women crossdressing for their jobs. At first, our male trio isn't sure how to react, but they find themselves getting close to these girls.View attachment 360269

I don't know if I can watch the anime because it involves and condones crossdressing, but the revelation that those three handsome men are actually women made me feel attracted. Well, not to them per se, but due to their short hair. I just appreciated their short hair and lack of a visible bust while they were disguised.

I need genuine advice--especially from more mature brothers and sisters in Christ. Is an attraction to androgynous women as a man ungodly in any way, shape, or form? And am I lusting? Explain how. This is driving me crazy today.

I think you are complicating matters.

Sin is going at life apart from God. It is partaking of the knowledge of good and evil and becoming our own gods. It is a perversion of God's love in the form of lust.

It is putting self at the center of our world, instead of God.

I personally don't see your attraction for a strong woman with short hair that has the characteristics of a male as wrong of itself. If it crosses the line into self-centeredness, it will reap fruits of death instead of life.

Don't complicate matters. The heart of the matter is always the matter of the heart.

TheRisingSun · Mar 16, 2025

2PhiloVoid said:
..... I could be wrong, but I think most guys back in the 1980's recognized that 'Private Vasquez' had it going on, and that was a decade before G.I. Jane even came along.

I know I'm responding a little late, but I'm surprised by that. A lot of dudes in the 80s were into Vasquez?

2PhiloVoid · Mar 16, 2025

TheRisingSun said:
I know I'm responding a little late, but I'm surprised by that. A lot of dudes in the 80s were into Vasquez?

Yes. Her actual name is Jenette Goldstein, and her role as "Vasquez" was, at the time, essentially a James Cameron promotion for the rise of the strong, liberated woman typology which permeated the Aliens movie.

Back in high school, I remember hearing a comment about Vasquez from some stoner who thought she was a 'dike,' but what I remember most is hearing comments from fellow Christian guys in the church I attended at the time. One said he thought she was a babe and had it "going on" and another said that she was his physical ideal for a wife. Apparently, the Vasquez type was a thing for James Cameron too, which is why he type-casted that role the way he did for Jenette Goldstein (who also appeared briefly a few years later in another of James Cameron's movies, Terminator 2).

As I said earlier, I'm not sure why this has to be seen as a social or moral problem. It's not. If you like a 'tough, masculinized' type of woman, then so be it. It's really more of an issue about fitness and attitude than it is about "gender." And people at your church need to get over it if it bothers them.

timewerx · Mar 16, 2025

TheRisingSun said:
I know I'm responding a little late, but I'm surprised by that. A lot of dudes in the 80s were into Vasquez?

I like women who look like athletes. Lean with good muscular composition and follows an exercise/workout schedule just like me.

Because I'm also athletic. "Like attracts Like".

If you wish to improve your chances of attracting such women:

The Secret to Attracting Quality: Like Attracts Like

Singles share with me the kind of person they want to attract; yet for some reason they rarely do or act like the person they want to attract into their lives. That's why I always say, “Be an example of the type of person you want to attract.”

amiethedatingcoach.com

However, I workout and engage in sports mainly because I like doing them. When I took them up, my goal is simply to get healthy, have fun, and de-stress, not to find women.

.

FreeinChrist · Mar 24, 2025

ADVISOR HAT

This thread was moved from Request for Christian Advice. We felt this was a better place for it.

Kitzen · Apr 11, 2026

TheRisingSun said:
So apparently, my year has started with me learning I have problems with my mouth (cursing and disrespect), and God helping me get dental coverage--which I prayed for on the same day...and me basically tearing my hair out over my romantic preferences again. Ugh! I'm sorry, but I spend way more time on X than I should--so many accounts there push for traditional gender roles and feminine women. It makes me feel like such an outcast sometimes.

In the past, I've said that my ideal type, in terms of personality, is a total tomboy. A woman who's mostly--if not entirely--masculine. A girl who's "one of the guys" and can be my bro. I ain't that crazy about femininity. So in the past, I talked about inward traits that I'm attracted to. But this time, I want to focus on the outward. And don't worry, I didn't forget Proverbs 31:30.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." -Proverbs 31:30, New International Version

Now, as the title implies, I'm to an extent, attracted to androgyny in women. Specifically, a combination of athletic/muscular bodies, very short hair (we're talking boyishly so, like pixie cuts), small or flat chests, and/or happy trails (meaning navel hair). Basically, a look that either gets a woman mistaken for a butch lesbian, or looks like she's trying to audition for a movie role as Joan of Arc. What's a bit ironic is, I kinda developed this taste after learning about Joan of Arc and her tale.

I realized this about myself 2 years ago. I had found this manwha--meaning, Korean comic book--titled "The Knight and Her Emperor." And one of the main characters is a knight named Paulina, whose emperor Lucius has a crush on her. Paulina has boyishly short red hair, is muscular and scarred, and her chest is small. Despite the fact that she presented herself as a man in war (Deuteronomy 22:5 makes it clear this is a sin)--keep in mind her father got her sent to war in hopes of getting her killed so her little sister can inherit the family fortune--I found myself thinking to myself, "Wow, she's kind of...handsome." Not the kind of word you'd use to describe a woman you were attracted to.View attachment 360266 View attachment 360267 View attachment 360268

I remember late in 2024, there was this butch female cop at my job. Slightly taller than me, short hair, kind of broad body. She even came to my work area in a flannel shirt to get her police uniform. Sadly for me, a few weeks into her employment, she got moved to a different hospital. (Did I mention that I work at a clinic?) I wanted to say something to her, but I was afraid she'd turn out to be a lesbian, as I've accidentally crushed on two lesbians before because they were masculine.

And I found out about this trope in anime called "reverse traps"--referring to female characters who looks (and in many cases acts, sounds, and even dresses) like a male, leading to them being mistaken as male. On one hand, I knew I couldn't condone crossdressing, but on the other hand, their masculine appearances just kind of got to me. View attachment 360270
(BTW, this short-haired cutie is from Chainsaw Man.)

For that reason, I'm emotionally conflicted about this anime called "How I Attended An All-Guys Mixer." Basically, the plot is that a college student and two of his friends are invited to a mixer by a female classmates, but the three guys find three handsome men there--or do they? It turns out that the three "men" are actually women crossdressing for their jobs. At first, our male trio isn't sure how to react, but they find themselves getting close to these girls.View attachment 360269

I don't know if I can watch the anime because it involves and condones crossdressing, but the revelation that those three handsome men are actually women made me feel attracted. Well, not to them per se, but due to their short hair. I just appreciated their short hair and lack of a visible bust while they were disguised.

I need genuine advice--especially from more mature brothers and sisters in Christ. Is an attraction to androgynous women as a man ungodly in any way, shape, or form? And am I lusting? Explain how. This is driving me crazy today.

I don’t know that I’m quite qualified to give advice in this matter based on my own biases but I wanted to comment to say I’ve got mad respect for your bravery in seeking advice, especially from mature christians. Definitely continue to pray about your feelings and thoughts as God wants to be there with you in the big and small things, to be your best friend, mentor, and truest love and it is in being close to him (in the word, worship, thanksgiving, and prayer), and seeking wise counsel that we can find the best ways forward in life. I have read some other of the responses in here as well and I have a similar opinion to some of them: that preferences aren’t sin, it becomes sin when we seek after other things to fulfill us rather than God and his ways of providing for us. I would say a preference is not lust but that spending too much time on contemplating them could become an idol, what we spend our time on shows what we value most. I would say do not be afraid and trust that in all things God works for your good (Rom 8:28). Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus(Phil 4:6-7). Something I have also been learning in my life is that in this life sometimes we are not given all the answers, God gives us what we need in his word, though often not always the way we want it. Often we are called to exercise our free will to choose the best we can based on what he has given us and then to just move forward, while still holding that in an open hand to him (this has been my experience with my college career in which I’ve agonized over choosing a major and after much time counsel and prayer never got a ‘do this major’ answer like some of my friends, I only got more of a ‘take the next best step and continue to put me first in everything’ one so I’m doing my best to do that now. I think perhaps sometimes we definitely overcomplicate life when trusting God should be preeminent). All this being said (sorry this got so long haha) I also wanted to say thank you for… idk existing? You’ve made me feel a lot mor validated in that there are people out there who might see me and love me in the way I like to be perceived, which is a lot like the things you mentioned of ‘masculine’, whether or not this is a good way of thinking for me I can’t be 100% sure, I think a large part of it comes from wanting to be seen as myself first and a woman’s second as a sort of push back to how I often feel pressured by society to go one way or the other (be more “feminine“ or “Butch” and be myself but then be lesbian… I am extremely straight and believe in one man one woman partnerships as God designed from the beginning), but yeah. I get bogged down on occasion with a sort of nagging worry/sadness in which I don’t think any men (or at least and straight ones) will want me for me so… yeah just thanks for putting yourself out there and giving me hope I guess.

Is it unbliblical for a Christian man to be attracted to androgynous women?

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