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Married to a narcissistic spouse

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chevyontheriver

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heartnsoul said:
Yes I am safe. He’s emotionally abusive, not physically abusive.
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Thanks for answering.

Next question from me would be is he a Christian? And are you?

After that I would ask did he know what he was getting into on your wedding day? And did you? Did either of you think the other was radically different after than before the wedding?
 
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TGGIL

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"Married to a narcissistic spouse"..I didn't say he is or isn't, but the writer who started this group discussion uses the name and I follow with a reply, not to be picked apart. Let's help the writer and not question our own thoughts. Let the writer do the questioning.​

 
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2PhiloVoid

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heartnsoul said:
Yes he’s being emotionally abusive with his constant daily criticisms, constantly defensive, and daily road rage. He’s never been clinically certified and refuses to go to marital counseling.
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Does he identify himself as a Christian?
 
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heartnsoul

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timf said:
I was abused as a child. It can be helpful to see the other person as disabled and almost a captive to their inner demons. This disconnection can sometimes help to reduce the hurt of verbal jabs.
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Thank you for your perspective.
 
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heartnsoul

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TGGIL said:
God never asks you to lose yourself to keep someone else comfortable.
God created you with a voice, a mind, and a soul.
A narcissist’s goal is to erase those.
God’s goal is to strengthen them.

Discern the difference between love and control.
A narcissist doesn’t want partnership.
They want compliance.
God doesn’t bless relationships built on domination.

God sees the private reality even when others don’t.
Narcissists often look righteous in public and destructive in private.
God has dealt with people like that throughout Scripture.
You’re not imagining it, and you’re not alone.

Boundaries are not rebellion—they are obedience to truth.
You’re not dishonoring God by setting boundaries.
You’re dishonoring God by allowing someone to destroy the soul He gave you.

You are responsible for your integrity, not their transformation.
You cannot fix a narcissist.
You cannot love them into humility.
You cannot pray them into accountability.
That’s their work, not yours.

Safety—emotional, spiritual, and physical—is not optional.
If someone is harming you—emotionally, spiritually, or physically—God is not asking you to stay in that harm.

Walk in truth, not fear.
Fear keeps you trapped.
Truth sets you free.
God will guide your steps one at a time.
You don’t have to know the whole path—just the next right step.

God does not call you to be a sacrifice to someone else’s ego.
He calls you to truth, dignity, boundaries, and spiritual clarity.
You are allowed to protect your heart, your mind, and your soul.
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Thank you so much for your truth and enlightening words. I appreciate your guidance and wisdom. I love your words, “God will guide your steps one step at a time. You don’t have to know the whole path- just the next step right step.” I am choosing to walk with God and let him light my path one step at a time.❤️❤️
 
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heartnsoul said:
He does think of himself as a Christian but I don’t think he knows or understands God’s heart.
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It sounds like he has trouble from childhood with aligning with God's will for whatever reasons.

To be frank, this is a public forum and it's no one's place here to tell you to divorce him if he is indeed NPD, and I'd prefer to think that if you could just sit down with him and read the New Testament together that even he could get a clue.

But being that I'm aware of human psychological reality, that sometimes certain people are just broken inside.......................then if things are bad between you and him, get some certified professional counseling before you make any important, final decisions.

It would be ideal if both of you could work it out over the next few months, but if he's NPD, I know that's a low probability.
 
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2PhiloVoid said:
It sounds like he has trouble from childhood with aligning with God's will for whatever reasons.

To be frank, this is a public forum and it's no one's place here to tell you to divorce him if he is indeed NPD, and I'd prefer to think that if you could just sit down with him and read the New Testament together that even he could get a clue.

But being that I'm aware of human psychological reality, that sometimes certain people are just broken inside.......................then if things are bad between you and him, get some certified professional counseling before you make any important, final decisions.

It would be ideal if both of you could work it out over the next few months, but if he's NPD, I know that's a low probability.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for your feedback. He’s refusing to go to counseling and he doesn’t read the bible. So I’m going to keep praying and continue trying to talk things over with him. Not sure where things will end up but I am taking this decision very seriously and will not make any final decisions until I know God has confirmed it.
 
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