So unhappy

yuppers · 2026-01-19T10:15:13-0600

This is pretty much me just complaining about things that aren’t going to change.. but I’m struggling so much with overwhelming unhappiness in my life. It’s not even like there’s many “bad things” happening in my life that I can complain about. Just part of me was always hoping that life would somehow be more enjoyable.
I’m struggling to find joy in the work I do. My career path has basically flatlined and I’m financially capped. I can’t afford anything nice so it’s just living on the basics.. then I work with a coworker who makes me mentally sick because he’s so difficult to deal with. Last year I lost thousands of dollars taking time off work to get away from him. It financially set me back years. I already struggle with the idea of working for our entire lives. But for some reason this is “Gods plan” for me?

Then I’ve tried seeing doctors about anti depressants. The medication doesn’t help. They keep telling me to get a girlfriend but my anxiety and depression are always getting in the way.. sometimes I meet people from online but can never seem to find someone where we mutually connect. It’s just so frustrating.

I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing anymore. Just wondering around lost with no clue what to do.
I’m sorry for complaining. It’s just I could use some external perspective. I appreciate you taking the time to read my complaining.

Unqualified · 2026-01-19T10:58:29-0600

Have you ever witnessed to the guy or prayed for him. That’s supposed to be the exciting part. Do you go to church to meet like minded people and get fed the word and get encouraged. It’s not over till it’s over. Gods not done with you there’s more

i pray for you for a return of your joy. In Jesus Mighty Name.

Freth · 2026-01-19T13:08:16-0600

Unfortunately, we can't pick the people we work with, and there is always going to be some sort of friction, even with those you get along with there are always little things here and there.

I went through it myself throughout my career in telecommunications. No matter the position I was in there were always certain people that made the job more difficult.

In my case I wanted to stay in my career, and so I learned ways to cope with it. Letting it go and focusing on the job. The more my mind was on my work, the less I was thinking about what my co-workers were/weren't doing. I channeled it into my work. It doesn't mean it didn't bother me, but there were too many other things to worry about, like my daily tasks. And yes, I had to deal with those same people and work through it on a daily basis.

You have to let go of what you can't change and work with what you're given. The only alternative is to find another job, but there is no guarantee that you won't have it worse somewhere else.

What helped me was finding ways to de-stress at home. I looked at work and home as a toggle switch. As soon as I left work the toggle switched to home where I didn't think about work until the next morning. At home I took on creative hobbies and interests that kept me engaged, which helped me remove stress and forget about work. Being creative is very rewarding.

In my experience, the more I focus on the things of God the more I feel at peace. God is the best anti-depressant there is. Prayer is a good way to get weight off of your shoulders. Give it to Him and let it go. Reading the Bible and applying it to your life will change you for the better.

We are called to love others. No conditions were given; love for others is to be unconditional love. No matter what faults they have, no matter how sinful they are, no matter how bad they treat you, or how bad their personality is, we are to love them unconditionally. God is calling us to love, because He is love.

I had parents that loved me unconditionally, but for whatever reason it escaped me how to love unconditionally. What I found in my own life is that it is a sin problem. Not the sin of others, but my own sin. How I looked at others wasn't love. I looked for things to dislike about them. I allowed the things that bothered me or made my life difficult rule the way I thought about them. I was stuck in a cycle of negativity.

I had a co-worker that was constantly looking to point out negative things. We would be driving through town and he would make comments about everyone he saw. Always negative. They were doing something wrong in his eyes.

I see the same thing in my own brother, complaining about what others are doing at work, and how the company is taking advantage. Always something negative. It eats at him, which isn't healthy.

I remember as a young boy, I said something shameful to my pastor and he looked at me with love and concern. Decades later I realized what it truly meant.

What I'm getting at here is that God is calling us to love unconditionally for a reason. John says we ought to walk as He (Jesus) walked. Love is the only way to safely navigate life in a sinful world. The negativity falls away and is replaced with peace and hope.

How does one love unconditionally? Serious reflection on God's love (John 3:16-17), serious self-reflection and a change of perspective concerning others, prayer, study, and the application of God's word in daily life.

yuppers · 2026-01-19T19:55:31-0600

Freth said:
Unfortunately, we can't pick the people we work with, and there is always going to be some sort of friction, even with those you get along with there are always little things here and there.

I went through it myself throughout my career in telecommunications. No matter the position I was in there were always certain people that made the job more difficult.

In my case I wanted to stay in my career, and so I learned ways to cope with it. Letting it go and focusing on the job. The more my mind was on my work, the less I was thinking about what my co-workers were/weren't doing. I channeled it into my work. It doesn't mean it didn't bother me, but there were too many other things to worry about, like my daily tasks. And yes, I had to deal with those same people and work through it on a daily basis.

You have to let go of what you can't change and work with what you're given. The only alternative is to find another job, but there is no guarantee that you won't have it worse somewhere else.

What helped me was finding ways to de-stress at home. I looked at work and home as a toggle switch. As soon as I left work the toggle switched to home where I didn't think about work until the next morning. At home I took on creative hobbies and interests that kept me engaged, which helped me remove stress and forget about work. Being creative is very rewarding.

In my experience, the more I focus on the things of God the more I feel at peace. God is the best anti-depressant there is. Prayer is a good way to get weight off of your shoulders. Give it to Him and let it go. Reading the Bible and applying it to your life will change you for the better.

We are called to love others. No conditions were given; love for others is to be unconditional love. No matter what faults they have, no matter how sinful they are, no matter how bad they treat you, or how bad their personality is, we are to love them unconditionally. God is calling us to love, because He is love.

I had parents that loved me unconditionally, but for whatever reason it escaped me how to love unconditionally. What I found in my own life is that it is a sin problem. Not the sin of others, but my own sin. How I looked at others wasn't love. I looked for things to dislike about them. I allowed the things that bothered me or made my life difficult rule the way I thought about them. I was stuck in a cycle of negativity.

I had a co-worker that was constantly looking to point out negative things. We would be driving through town and he would make comments about everyone he saw. Always negative. They were doing something wrong in his eyes.

I see the same thing in my own brother, complaining about what others are doing at work, and how the company is taking advantage. Always something negative. It eats at him, which isn't healthy.

I remember as a young boy, I said something shameful to my pastor and he looked at me with love and concern. Decades later I realized what it truly meant.

What I'm getting at here is that God is calling us to love unconditionally for a reason. John says we ought to walk as He (Jesus) walked. Love is the only way to safely navigate life in a sinful world. The negativity falls away and is replaced with peace and hope.

How does one love unconditionally? Serious reflection on God's love (John 3:16-17), serious self-reflection and a change of perspective concerning others, prayer, study, and the application of God's word in daily life.

Thank you for sharing your experience. To some degree there is a “neutral zone” between my coworker and I. I basically don’t talk with them about anything personal and keep things strictly work related. It has “helped” as it doesn’t give them any “ammunition” to hold against me.

Part of my frustrations are about the financial losses it caused just to try and get myself to some form of relief. I know that we aren’t supposed to put our trust into money because it is part of this world, but part of me is just mad that if things were better I could have actually used the money for something beneficial towards my life instead wasting it away. It’s gone now and the only thing you can do about it is keep working.

I genuinely dislike that I feel like I’m always in such a state of frustration that I’m complaining and not happy to be around. I feel like as a Christian you are supposed to be happier and shining a light in the world and not complaining and miserable.

yuppers · 2026-01-19T20:05:20-0600

Unqualified said:
Have you ever witnessed to the guy or prayed for him. That’s supposed to be the exciting part. Do you go to church to meet like minded people and get fed the word and get encouraged. It’s not over till it’s over. Gods not done with you there’s more

i pray for you for a return of your joy. In Jesus Mighty Name.

I’ve always tried to keep things positive around him. Even when he’s said some very unnecessary things I still talked to him like it wasn’t said. That’s why I got massively burned out because I was just bottling it up or trying to vent to people who can’t do anything about it.

Part of the problem is also my personal life is not well. I used to go to church and be involved but things changed and I’ve lost connection with church. Friends got married and having kids so it’s not the same anymore. I’ve tried to get connected with a church again but it hasn’t been working well. It’s been a self feeding cycle of negativity. Terrible to deal with. Just want to find some kind of peace in life again. I still keep trying when I have the energy

timewerx · 2026-01-19T20:24:24-0600

I faced some of the worst co-workers you can imagine like humiliate you in a loud voice for everyone to hear with regularity, bother you with many angry follow ups on delays that's not your fault and one bully. All in the same office. And they're not joking around.

Somehow, I did not mind it. I felt no stress from it and even felt nice going to work. Most of my day to day stress came from the noise from my neighbors at home. I have very sensitive hearing which caused me problems.

I have moved different places and jobs since. My sources of stress have always been the smells and sounds at home. Sensitive sense of hearing and smell. More recently stress coming from poor finance from huge debt inherited from parents.

I'm not sure exactly how I dealt with it. Perhaps I don't make a big deal of the bad co-workers situation. I didn't care much if I lost my job or not promoted or my boss hate me. I treated my own life like watching a movie, a movie that is about me. I'm not saying you do this.

I did have couple of close friends at work at the time. We got out and watched movies together on our off days and weekends. Although I never vented to them about my bad co-workers. I think that would have made a difference in my mental state.

Currently, I have different set of friends from my rollerblading hobby and also trying to connect with old friends. I'm not much of a church-goer nor church activities. I simply accompany mom to church but my heart is not in it.

I'm horrible at speaking and I don't talk a lot I'm just bad at it but I make some effort to connect to other people through hobbies. I think friends make a difference. You don't need to have good social skills, just genuine desire and goals to connect to people. In fact, I learned the difficult sport of rollerblading at mid age hoping that will improve my chances of meeting new people, and fortunately, it did. Seek the good ones and avoid the bad ones, those who might influence into doing bad things, avoid such people.

Lost4words · 2026-01-19T21:19:09-0600

Freth said:
Unfortunately, we can't pick the people we work with, and there is always going to be some sort of friction, even with those you get along with there are always little things here and there.

I went through it myself throughout my career in telecommunications. No matter the position I was in there were always certain people that made the job more difficult.

In my case I wanted to stay in my career, and so I learned ways to cope with it. Letting it go and focusing on the job. The more my mind was on my work, the less I was thinking about what my co-workers were/weren't doing. I channeled it into my work. It doesn't mean it didn't bother me, but there were too many other things to worry about, like my daily tasks. And yes, I had to deal with those same people and work through it on a daily basis.

You have to let go of what you can't change and work with what you're given. The only alternative is to find another job, but there is no guarantee that you won't have it worse somewhere else.

What helped me was finding ways to de-stress at home. I looked at work and home as a toggle switch. As soon as I left work the toggle switched to home where I didn't think about work until the next morning. At home I took on creative hobbies and interests that kept me engaged, which helped me remove stress and forget about work. Being creative is very rewarding.

In my experience, the more I focus on the things of God the more I feel at peace. God is the best anti-depressant there is. Prayer is a good way to get weight off of your shoulders. Give it to Him and let it go. Reading the Bible and applying it to your life will change you for the better.

We are called to love others. No conditions were given; love for others is to be unconditional love. No matter what faults they have, no matter how sinful they are, no matter how bad they treat you, or how bad their personality is, we are to love them unconditionally. God is calling us to love, because He is love.

I had parents that loved me unconditionally, but for whatever reason it escaped me how to love unconditionally. What I found in my own life is that it is a sin problem. Not the sin of others, but my own sin. How I looked at others wasn't love. I looked for things to dislike about them. I allowed the things that bothered me or made my life difficult rule the way I thought about them. I was stuck in a cycle of negativity.

I had a co-worker that was constantly looking to point out negative things. We would be driving through town and he would make comments about everyone he saw. Always negative. They were doing something wrong in his eyes.

I see the same thing in my own brother, complaining about what others are doing at work, and how the company is taking advantage. Always something negative. It eats at him, which isn't healthy.

I remember as a young boy, I said something shameful to my pastor and he looked at me with love and concern. Decades later I realized what it truly meant.

What I'm getting at here is that God is calling us to love unconditionally for a reason. John says we ought to walk as He (Jesus) walked. Love is the only way to safely navigate life in a sinful world. The negativity falls away and is replaced with peace and hope.

How does one love unconditionally? Serious reflection on God's love (John 3:16-17), serious self-reflection and a change of perspective concerning others, prayer, study, and the application of God's word in daily life.

Superb post!!! Well said....God bless you my friend......post means a lot.

Freth · 2026-01-20T08:17:39-0600

yuppers said:
Thank you for sharing your experience. To some degree there is a “neutral zone” between my coworker and I. I basically don’t talk with them about anything personal and keep things strictly work related. It has “helped” as it doesn’t give them any “ammunition” to hold against me.

Part of my frustrations are about the financial losses it caused just to try and get myself to some form of relief. I know that we aren’t supposed to put our trust into money because it is part of this world, but part of me is just mad that if things were better I could have actually used the money for something beneficial towards my life instead wasting it away. It’s gone now and the only thing you can do about it is keep working.

I genuinely dislike that I feel like I’m always in such a state of frustration that I’m complaining and not happy to be around. I feel like as a Christian you are supposed to be happier and shining a light in the world and not complaining and miserable.

I understand the frustration, but if you think about it there is nothing you can do about it. Let it go and move forward, otherwise it will continue to make you miserable thinking about it. Take a deep breath and let it go. It really is that simple. You can always make more money if you apply yourself. Diversify your efforts. Be creative.

However, no matter how much money you make it won't make you happy. Sure, it is nice to have things, and nice to be financially stable, but like my father always used to say, "You can't take it with you." Either you'll save up the excess for some rainy day that never comes, or you'll spend it as it comes in and accumulate stuff you don't need.

As a young man I wanted to experience all that life had to offer. I wanted the toys, and I wanted excess. I lived it for many years. I had the toys. I had the extra money. I had the new cars. None of it made me happy. In fact, I only wanted more, and I lived a life of excess in every way possible. I wanted more food. I wanted more coffee. I wanted more sugar. I wanted more alcohol. Everything in my life was more more more.

I found myself in a bad place because of money. It was a never-ending cycle of addiction and excess. My health was wrecked because of it, and I had a house full of junk I never used. I was deep in debt.

Imagine being near retirement age and realizing you have way more work ahead of you to clean yourself up. That is what money did to me. Thank God I came back to Christianity, because it was God who pulled me out of the mess I was in.

Now I'm living on a retirement pension that is less than half of what I was making when I was working. I am happier now than I was when I had the money. I live a simple life. I want for nothing.

I would heed the advice of Jesus.

Matthew 6:19-21 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

You don't need money to have peace of mind. In fact, I would say you need God to have peace of mind, because nothing else is going to fill the void that only God can fill in your life.

timewerx · 2026-01-20T09:31:50-0600

Freth said:
However, no matter how much money you make it won't make you happy. Sure, it is nice to have things, and nice to be financially stable, but like my father always used to say, "You can't take it with you." Either you'll save up the excess for some rainy day that never comes, or you'll spend it as it comes in and accumulate stuff you don't need.

As a young man I wanted to experience all that life had to offer. I wanted the toys, and I wanted excess. I lived it for many years. I had the toys. I had the extra money. I had the new cars. None of it made me happy. In fact, I only wanted more, and I lived a life of excess in every way possible. I wanted more food. I wanted more coffee. I wanted more sugar. I wanted more alcohol. Everything in my life was more more more.

I found myself in a bad place because of money. It was a never-ending cycle of addiction and excess. My health was wrecked because of it, and I had a house full of junk I never used. I was deep in debt.

It's the lack of purpose that makes people indifferent to the abundance of wealth they have.

Some people have huge, world-changing ambitions but it's only the means to the end. They still end up running after the same things everyone runs after.

If finding real purpose, then have everything at your disposal. It doesn't automatically mean accumulating lots of money. Money is not the only thing moving the world. In fact, money may not even be necessary to "move" the world.

joymercy · 2026-01-20T09:55:48-0600

What can help with a regular uplift, is at least for me-positive and inspiring Christina radio to keep me company and focused on the positive.

One can find KLOVE positive encouraging Christian radio online and a free online stream

Give it a try.

Tom D · 2026-01-20T09:58:02-0600

Freth said:
However, no matter how much money you make it won't make you happy. Sure, it is nice to have things, and nice to be financially stable, but like my father always used to say, "You can't take it with you." Either you'll save up the excess for some rainy day that never comes, or you'll spend it as it comes in and accumulate stuff you don't need.

As a young man I wanted to experience all that life had to offer. I wanted the toys, and I wanted excess. I lived it for many years. I had the toys. I had the extra money. I had the new cars. None of it made me happy. In fact, I only wanted more, and I lived a life of excess in every way possible. I wanted more food. I wanted more coffee. I wanted more sugar. I wanted more alcohol. Everything in my life was more more more.

I found myself in a bad place because of money. It was a never-ending cycle of addiction and excess. My health was wrecked because of it, and I had a house full of junk I never used. I was deep in debt....

...You don't need money to have peace of mind. In fact, I would say you need God to have peace of mind, because nothing else is going to fill the void that only God can fill in your life.

Two good posts from you, I've read each of them 10 times. The above reminds me of a story, this story.

timf · 2026-01-20T10:36:41-0600

Our society today is much different that what was common historically up until 125 years ago. Today people are much more isolated which allows sometimes and unhealthy amount of solitary time in which a self-focus can be harmful. To counter this sort of default condition one can cultivate different activities and hobbies.

The coworker you mentioned might be managed by setting boundaries. If this is difficult, you might consider joining toastmasters to learn to be more assertive in your speaking skills. Sometimes an activity such as volunteer work can take you out of yourself enough to lighten up a depressive mood.

Rescued One · 2026-01-20T11:26:25-0600

yuppers said:
Thank you for sharing your experience. To some degree there is a “neutral zone” between my coworker and I. I basically don’t talk with them about anything personal and keep things strictly work related. It has “helped” as it doesn’t give them any “ammunition” to hold against me.

Part of my frustrations are about the financial losses it caused just to try and get myself to some form of relief. I know that we aren’t supposed to put our trust into money because it is part of this world, but part of me is just mad that if things were better I could have actually used the money for something beneficial towards my life instead wasting it away. It’s gone now and the only thing you can do about it is keep working.

I genuinely dislike that I feel like I’m always in such a state of frustration that I’m complaining and not happy to be around. I feel like as a Christian you are supposed to be happier and shining a light in the world and not complaining and miserable.

I'm sorry. My mother had three husbands and six kids. My parents and grandparents were not Christians. We moved from town to town and state to state. We weren't allowed to invite anyone over. It was depressing but at age four a German woman (probably about 17 or 18) taught me to pray in German. I prayed often. Believing that God cared got me through the hard lonely times. I prayed secretly to avoid criricism. I didn't know the meaning of the German words until I took German in high school. "I am small, my heart is Yours, so noone can live there, but Jesus alone."
Amazing! I didn't know much, but finally became A Christian when I was about 31.

When I feel lonely, sad, or depressed I read the Bible.

You aren't alone! Romans 12:12 is encouraging!

Joyful in hope, patient in afflction, faithful in prayer.

Use your faith to post encouraging words to people online. None of my five siblings became Christians.

GOD BLESS YOU!

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