So there is this guy that I like (and yes, I am attracted to him), but the only problem is is that I don't know if he is a Christian or not. I actually don't know what his religion is at all. I'm afraid to ask him to be honest. All I know is that Christians like us are not supposed to date non-Christians, right? And we are not supposed to have sex outside of marriage either I know. I think those verses that say that are found in the New Testament; I went to church tonight and we partially studied those again. We also had communion. First time in years we have had it. My mother was thrilled.
I guess people are going to tell me that I should get up the guts to ask him what his religion is, right? And if he says he is not a Christian, I shouldn't date him at all, right?What is your advice on this matter?
If you don't have an intimate friendship first, the potential for a solid relationship has no foundation to stand on. Relationships typically fall apart, or things do not work out with people, because they didn't really know the person on a friendship type level prior to getting intimate in other ways. In other words, they arrive at disagreements and cannot work them out, and they have expectations that they did not communicate before getting more involved.
I'm not going to get into any heavy details here really beyond this one point I feel placed on my heart to share. If you become friends with a person and have a strong friendship, then you have a strong connection and open communication that is needed to know whether someone is really truly the kind of person you want to be closer to. Without a strong friendship, the attraction is purely physical and very shallow, and the "who" someone is takes a backseat and can create conflict later if it doesn't appeal to us.
Friends often have disagreements and are still friends. Some friends literally don't do much else but disagree and argue, and this can be done in a friendly way. But unless we know a person as a friend, the more critical details of "who" someone is or what they consider important and what their heart is like are all a pure mystery to us.
My advice is always, and I do mean always, to stay friends unless you are certain about becoming committed to anyone or anything. If the friendship isn't strong enough to even discuss the fact that you are attracted to each other and share personal concerns and offer emotional help for each other, as friends... then I don't think there is enough connection to go further.
You can always move forward, become closer, commit to being in a relationship later. Leaving a relationship is nearly never positive in any respect, and even if it was mutual there is no doubt still likely pain involved.
Being focused on being a closer friend will open all the insights, show the truth of who you both are, and reveal whether other things are a good idea or not. A close friend would also know what their friend believes, so that will be solved in the process if done this way.
