My son has OCD and I think it along with other anxiety disorders has become more prevelant in recent years. I am not sure why. I think I had some form of OCD when young but was not diagnosed. But have learnt to live with it.
But really OCD I think is a stronger feeling of normal human worry. Its often of the unknown. Not always rational as it can be strongly linked to emotion.
I know Cognitive Behavioural Therapy helps get perspective and context. But I understand the compulisive nature of the thoughts that keep popping into the mind.
But doubts are also natural. Its that it seems to get stuck on repeat sometimes and can be more severe form or worry for some people. Making something bigger than it really is. But that can also be emotions. If someone is more sensitive and worries a lot.
Even talking things out and bouncing your thoughts off others, someone you trust can be helpful like you doing now. Most of the time it makes sense but still there is doubt. But the more you do it the more your mind is retrained to see things as they really are.
Medication also helps. But they say CBT is what helps gets thinking straight.
In saying all that we can as humans and Christians have lots of doubts. I could relate to how you said you sometimes think your saved and then doubt it. Sometimes I feel like I am the Prodigal son twice or three times over lol.
I think its Satan on my shoulder telling me I am not good enough. Especially when I may be feeling unwell or tired or just feeling a bit unhappy. And maybe thats what it is. Doubting we are not good enough. Havn't done something right or good enough. Self loathing and judgement.
But in hindsight doubts made me stronger. It steeled my faith. I think we have to live through the doubts because they are a part of us that has to be grown out of. I don't think you can offload a doubt overnight. So you question and you try this and that and then God is there always at the end waiting.
So its good to acknowledge the doubts. People are worried about mentioning they are not as saved as they feel sometimes. Its ok as this is part of growing as a Christian into Christ.
The disciples had doubts and I am sure they were fighting and worrying and questioning before they were able to stand with Christ. As long as we keep our eyes on the lighthouse in the stormy seas we will get there.
Sometimes it may become a flame flickering and its hard to see. But its still there and thats just our doubts and worries blurring things. But the light is always there and will become bigger as you move through the doubts towards God and that is through Christ the light of the world.
