Resisting the Holy Spirit.

dms1972 · Oct 27, 2025

Hi,

I grew up in a christian home, and my dad was a missionary, but I struggled a lot with christian faith and questions about predestination etc. and I took refuge in some sort of hypercalvinistic belief I think. This I believe made it difficult for me to experience conversion. There were times I recall an inability to yield to the Holy Spirit during meetings. I got into Gnostic spirituality too, and existentialism as well as reading modern theologians like Barth and Bultmann.

A good few years ago I was starting to come back to christianity, after having got into some errors about faith, and had begun to go to a church. At the same time I was reading a book by John Owen (17th century Puritan theologian). One Sunday at church all of a sudden I felt I came under a very intense pull, that seemed to be the Holy Spirit, but I wouldn't yield. It stayed with me all the way home, and yet still I wouldn't give in. It was a good few years ago, but I am not sure what keeps me from yielding. Up to that point I thought I was seeking again and yet when it came to it I wouldn't yield. I'm not sure why this is except it seems to suggest an unwillingness on my part to be right with God by faith in Christ?

johansen · Oct 27, 2025

I ran across a case similar to yours and i knew i wasn't able to reply to the man but basically he had been asking God for salvation for some time, and that was not happening. I asked God what was going on and the reply i got was "i am showing him how evil he is"

something similar could be going on with yourself.

ask God to show you why you are refusing him.

dms1972 · Oct 27, 2025

I really thought I was a christian at least at one point in my life but I would have understood things more along Barthian lines.

What you describe with the man sounds different. What I experienced was like a strong move of the Holy Spirit to get me to put my trust in Christ. Did that come from reading John Owen?

It just seems to me on reflection perhaps, there's a sort of disconnect - between head and heart, I think I am agreeing and believing when I read but deep down my in my heart I am not. So this was quite a number of years ago, nowadays I am not really sure what I believe.

Increasing I am thinking one can have an understanding of theology, but not really have faith. And that its easy to mistake one for the other. One's "faith" may be based on having picked up a particular understanding reading theological book.

I worries me what will be the result if I can't put my trust in Christ. How do I come to better understand my need of Christ?

NBB · Oct 29, 2025

Keep searching, sometimes there needs to be something that need to happen or there is some obstacle.
Keep praying and seeking God , don't get discouraged.

Fervent · Oct 29, 2025

Is there an area you aren't willing to let God be God? In my own journey, I struggled heavily with the idea of judgment and couldn't understand how God could allow people to go to hell simply because of a lack of faith or believing the wrong faith. It took God literally pushing me to my knees and taking my ability to speak for me to relinquish that nd to accept that God's judgment is just, even if I don't understand it. Is there some point you aren't accepting God's authority that may be getting in the way?

dms1972 · Oct 29, 2025

I don't know, I'm too out of touch with myself to know what the problem is.

dms1972 · Oct 31, 2025

I just not sure I have faith. I've read a lot of theology, and I pick stuff up, absorb it as it were, and then go from there. I don't think thats the same as faith really.

Fervent · Oct 31, 2025

dms1972 said:
I just not sure I have faith. I've read a lot of theology, and I pick stuff up, absorb it as it were, and then go from there. I don't think thats the same as faith really.

Faith looks different in different people. For some, it's mostly about emotions. Some it's mostly about intellectual questions. So what do you think you are lacking?

dms1972 · Oct 31, 2025

I just think I had theological understandings, not real faith, new heart etc.

Fervent · Oct 31, 2025

dms1972 said:
I just think I have a theology, not real faith.

If you have no faith, why does it concern you?

dms1972 · Oct 31, 2025

I cannot explain sorry.

Lukaris · Oct 31, 2025

For me it comes down to a basic function that we need to follow our conscience to know right from wrong ( much of what Paul tells us in Romans 2). Without the Gospel my ability to do this is hit or miss; my conscience needs to be in touch with the Lord ( 1 Timothy 1:5). The Lord’s commandments are holy and common sense to live life as we should ( Romans 13:1-14, especially verses 8-10).

Of course, our living conditions influence how challenging this might be ( John 16:33) but this is the basis of practical living by faith ( Romans 1:17, John 14:15-18).

I don’t claim to be anything special and often read the golden rule ( Matthew 7:1-12) to keep my head straight. I also see a glimpse of the full sense of truth that Paul tells us of but even he says it is fuzzy to all of us ( 1 Corinthians 13:9-13 as per 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 ).

Paul4JC · Thursday at 8:38 PM

dms1972 said:
I just not sure I have faith. I've read a lot of theology, and I pick stuff up, absorb it as it were, and then go from there. I don't think thats the same as faith really.

I'm sure you have faith, just properly direct it. The Lord is looking for big faith. Mine is small but it's on a big God.

6 He replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you. [Luk 17:6 NIV]

God bless you

Resisting the Holy Spirit.

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Orthodox Christian

the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing

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