Divorce?

Brandon:) · Jan 2, 2025

Is divorce ok if I feel like it’s going to lead me back into addiction? I’m in a marriage where I don’t feel worthy and I’m not accepted by her family. And they are more important to her than I am. I’m trying to just let it be what it is but it hurts terribly bad.

Aaron112 · Jan 2, 2025

In the Words of the Bible being the one authority,
I think it would be better to suffer many wrongs upon thyself and remain faithful yourself in marriage, than to "take the easy road" and disobey Scripture and do what "feels right" to you or to others.
We all have many persecutions and sufferings, admonitions , exhortations, and pummelings to endure,
yet are reminded to consider what Jesus Himself suffered, without trying to avoid suffering at all - "rather embrace it" as Jesus did, and as He Says to.
Make the decision once for all time, to serve Jesus no matter what happens - confident in HIM, not in ourselves.... and to be able to continue in HIM, learning from Him, without wavering
and always then with a good conscience at God's Throne!

Reluctant Theologian · Jan 2, 2025

Brandon:) said:
Is divorce ok if I feel like it’s going to lead me back into addiction? I’m in a marriage where I don’t feel worthy and I’m not accepted by her family. And they are more important to her than I am. I’m trying to just let it be what it is but it hurts terribly bad.

Emotional hurt and being very uncomfortable are not permissible grounds for divorce Biblically. If you can't resolve/overcome these struggles by counselling (have you both tried that?); then living separately may be the best option - and you do that already I read in your profile.

Apart from that - if being away from your wife or being divorced would lead you back into addiction you have a bigger problem to solve yourself - because marriage/wife should never be the solution to any addiction - that is for you to clear-up. When you're in a personal mental mess anything (including marriage) falls apart.

Sort out your personal stuff first - get rid of ANY addiction - seek professional help preferably. It's the root cause for addiction that needs to be taken away .. try to figure that out.

linux.poet · Jan 3, 2025

Reluctant Theologian said:
Apart from that - if being away from your wife or being divorced would lead you back into addiction you have a bigger problem to solve yourself - because marriage/wife should never be the solution to any addiction

Brandon:) said:
I’m looking for advice, I’m in recovery and in a marriage where I feel unworthy and unwanted and I know that if I stay in it it could lead me back into addiction the life God brought me out of. Is divorce ok in this situation.

Hmm. I think he's worried that his wife might lead him back into addiction.

I would try talking about your (newfound?) faith with your wife if you can. If she's an unbeliever and she wants to leave the marriage herself, that's grounds for divorce.

1 Corinthians 7 said:
12 To the rest I say—I and not the Lord—that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 And if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce the husband. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through the brother. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. It is to peace that God has called us.16 Wife, for all you know, you might save your husband. Husband, for all you know, you might save your wife.

If she's a believer in Christ, she shouldn't be leading you back into addiction and a Matthew 18 due process confrontation is definitively on order for her sin. Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, which means that we should not be placing mind-altering substances into them, and we should be exhibiting self-control, which addicts markedly do not.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 said:
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body.

Galatians 5:22-23 said:
By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things.

On the other hand, if this woman is dangerous to your recovery, you may want to wait until you are more spiritually capable before dealing with this, and maybe not go alone, bring a pastor or friend along to contain the situation and the conversation to keep you safe.

Daniel9v9 · Jan 3, 2025

If it's useful, here are some notes from a chat about divorce in our church. It's a simple overview of divorce as taught in the Bible and with some pastoral thoughts towards the end.

Divorce

Divorce What is marriage? The lifelong union between one man and one woman. What’s the purpose of marriage? Genesis: “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” and “Be fruitful and multiply”. To have a helper Men and women are complementary; we natur...

docs.google.com

Brandon:) · Jan 3, 2025

Aaron112 said:
In the Words of the Bible being the one authority,
I think it would be better to suffer many wrongs upon thyself and remain faithful yourself in marriage, than to "take the easy road" and disobey Scripture and do what "feels right" to you or to others.
We all have many persecutions and sufferings, admonitions , exhortations, and pummelings to endure,
yet are reminded to consider what Jesus Himself suffered, without trying to avoid suffering at all - "rather embrace it" as Jesus did, and as He Says to.
Make the decision once for all time, to serve Jesus no matter what happens - confident in HIM, not in ourselves.... and to be able to continue in HIM, learning from Him, without wavering
and always then with a good conscience at God's Throne!

Thank you brother

timf · 2025-07-13T06:53:56-0500

The disapproval of others can be intimidating. However, it is possible to respond to such oppression if you challenge them to defend their opinions. For example asking them to clearly state their objection and support it. Then one can ask them of what they would approve. One can then accept or refute their opinion.

For example if they objected to your level of education and suggested you get more education, you might respond that most of the people you have observed with higher levels of education have almost toxic levels of self-righteousness and that you would prefer to avoid that for your self.

Similar approaches can be taken with income level, or social prominence.

However, rather than confrontation, it may be best to simply ignore the opinions of fools. If your wife's family is particularly offensive in demonstrating their displeasure, you might ask her if she agrees with a particular barb. It my force her to recognize that which is unjust and begin to see your side more clearly.

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Divorce?

Brandon:)

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Aaron112

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Reluctant Theologian

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linux.poet

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Daniel9v9

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