- Apr 24, 2023
- 67
- 32
- 32
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
Edit: I think it might be okay to mention that I have schizophrenia/bi-polar if this seems like a stupid read.
First off I have a tendency to only post negative feelings or experiences, so let me reiterate that I have indeed had a lot of very good moments in my faith
But. Recently going through a rougher patch and it's not necessarily even my patch.
My family seems to be struggling a lot. I have siblings as well and we all know siblings can argue a lot.
The reason for me doubting morality is rooted in the way Christianity is portrayed through mainstream media. It's very counter intuitive to Christianity. I feel like it tries to over emphasize it without explaining the Word of God and including the Holy Spirit into teachings leaving everyone with less than nothing.
In the same way that growing up my parents never mentioned God once. The time I was trying to believe in Jesus was a horrible time as well. I've had a hard time coming to peace with that and constantly ruminate on the mistakes I made through just going with the mainstream Christianity or lack thereof. In the bible it explains how bad it is for anyone who causes the little ones to stumble, yet in the broken world we live in that seems to be the overwhelming majority of people.
And if parents don't teach their kids anything of spiritual sustonence how can God hold that over them growing up with none? It's a habitual cycle of brokenness as I feel the way to finding God is obviously a hard test of faith because I remember not even understanding how to call on the Lord.
I've just seen the way this leads to absolute brokenness and I have a hard time trying to believe God's morality as anything that is actual morale. Morale is based on clear evidence of right or wrong when we are born into this world missing the very Spirit that tells us right from wrong. Unless I'm just so off and he is always actually there allowing our mistakes to happen. Even so though?
It's just is seeming a chaotic cluster fluff to me right now. Deception has been a big topic I'm studying lately and it's hard to believe we live in a world like this, being hated and a target
First off I have a tendency to only post negative feelings or experiences, so let me reiterate that I have indeed had a lot of very good moments in my faith
But. Recently going through a rougher patch and it's not necessarily even my patch.
My family seems to be struggling a lot. I have siblings as well and we all know siblings can argue a lot.
The reason for me doubting morality is rooted in the way Christianity is portrayed through mainstream media. It's very counter intuitive to Christianity. I feel like it tries to over emphasize it without explaining the Word of God and including the Holy Spirit into teachings leaving everyone with less than nothing.
In the same way that growing up my parents never mentioned God once. The time I was trying to believe in Jesus was a horrible time as well. I've had a hard time coming to peace with that and constantly ruminate on the mistakes I made through just going with the mainstream Christianity or lack thereof. In the bible it explains how bad it is for anyone who causes the little ones to stumble, yet in the broken world we live in that seems to be the overwhelming majority of people.
And if parents don't teach their kids anything of spiritual sustonence how can God hold that over them growing up with none? It's a habitual cycle of brokenness as I feel the way to finding God is obviously a hard test of faith because I remember not even understanding how to call on the Lord.
I've just seen the way this leads to absolute brokenness and I have a hard time trying to believe God's morality as anything that is actual morale. Morale is based on clear evidence of right or wrong when we are born into this world missing the very Spirit that tells us right from wrong. Unless I'm just so off and he is always actually there allowing our mistakes to happen. Even so though?
It's just is seeming a chaotic cluster fluff to me right now. Deception has been a big topic I'm studying lately and it's hard to believe we live in a world like this, being hated and a target
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