- Oct 31, 2008
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- US-Republican
I've brought up this friend before, I'm often troubled by his financial situation which he overshares about.
Today out of nowhere he texts me to say he was speaking with someone who coordinates new clients for him (he basically takes care of elderly people on a part time basis who can't fully care for themselves).
He said a little bit later this person shows up at his place with an envelope for him and after she left he looked and there was over $1,100 in it. She said if the clients she has for him don't work out then she has more cash for him. We've been friends over 15 years, and I've always felt he has a very lazy work ethic. He was a full time volunteer with the local YWAM base for seven years, so in that time he had to raise his own support. He left YWAM the year we met but I feel like he never got rid of that mindset of letting other people support you. He's never had a meaningful job, and the one thing I saw him apply himself too really hasn't panned out because of workers comp stuff and lingering injuries (he went into massage therapy, got licensed at a school and everything to do sports massage but then had a shoulder injury and couldn't work for like three years due to workers comp proceedings). Even now that he can work again he doesn't really, instead he does this caretaking gig and leans on his wife to be the breadwinner for their family of four.
My issue comes with the fact that he broadcasts their financial problems to everyone. I think I posted about this a couple years ago when he asked people for "prayers" (AKA help/money) when the transmission went out on their car. And his immense circle just throws money at him. For a family that always seems to be barely getting by, they also seem to waste a lot of money like a $2-3k trip to Disneyland they just took a few months ago.
What is that? Is it jealousy on my part? I work 75 hours a week across seven days, no days off, between two jobs to earn about $94k/year which is much more than my friends family brings in but still isn't enough for my family to be comfortable. We rent a house and have one car, we're often overdrawn in our bank account, we never take vacations or even day trips unless we can do it nearly for free.
I feel like I work my behind off day in and day out just to tread water, while he has it easy and then still gets handouts on top of that.
I'd rather just not know about any of it in the first place, I don't talk about finances IRL with friends regardless of circumstances. That's just always been private in my family. So the fact that he's always sharing this stuff makes it feel like he's flaunting his good fortune.
How do I let it go?
Today out of nowhere he texts me to say he was speaking with someone who coordinates new clients for him (he basically takes care of elderly people on a part time basis who can't fully care for themselves).
He said a little bit later this person shows up at his place with an envelope for him and after she left he looked and there was over $1,100 in it. She said if the clients she has for him don't work out then she has more cash for him. We've been friends over 15 years, and I've always felt he has a very lazy work ethic. He was a full time volunteer with the local YWAM base for seven years, so in that time he had to raise his own support. He left YWAM the year we met but I feel like he never got rid of that mindset of letting other people support you. He's never had a meaningful job, and the one thing I saw him apply himself too really hasn't panned out because of workers comp stuff and lingering injuries (he went into massage therapy, got licensed at a school and everything to do sports massage but then had a shoulder injury and couldn't work for like three years due to workers comp proceedings). Even now that he can work again he doesn't really, instead he does this caretaking gig and leans on his wife to be the breadwinner for their family of four.
My issue comes with the fact that he broadcasts their financial problems to everyone. I think I posted about this a couple years ago when he asked people for "prayers" (AKA help/money) when the transmission went out on their car. And his immense circle just throws money at him. For a family that always seems to be barely getting by, they also seem to waste a lot of money like a $2-3k trip to Disneyland they just took a few months ago.
What is that? Is it jealousy on my part? I work 75 hours a week across seven days, no days off, between two jobs to earn about $94k/year which is much more than my friends family brings in but still isn't enough for my family to be comfortable. We rent a house and have one car, we're often overdrawn in our bank account, we never take vacations or even day trips unless we can do it nearly for free.
I feel like I work my behind off day in and day out just to tread water, while he has it easy and then still gets handouts on top of that.
I'd rather just not know about any of it in the first place, I don't talk about finances IRL with friends regardless of circumstances. That's just always been private in my family. So the fact that he's always sharing this stuff makes it feel like he's flaunting his good fortune.
How do I let it go?
