Here's a tip. Add Erich Fromm's "Escape From Freedom" to your reading list.
Seems like my type of guy:
Modern European and American history is centered around the effort
to gain freedom from the political, economic, and
spiritual shackles that have bound men.
One tie after another was severed. Man had overthrown the domination of nature and made himself her master;
he had overthrown the domination of the Church.
Freud went further than anybody before him in directing attention to the observation and analysis of the
irrational and unconscious forces which determine parts of human behavior.
Since this book stresses the role of psychological factors...particularly those concerning
the operation of unconscious forces in man’s character and their dependence on external influences...
Although there are certain needs, such as hunger, thirst, sex, which are common to man,
those drives which make for the differences in men’s characters...are all products of the social process.
Human nature, though being the
product of historical evolution...
Those strivings and
character traits by which men differ from each other...These and many other strivings and fears to be found in man
develop as a reaction to certain life conditions.
...but primarily
his personality is molded by the particular mode of life, as he has already been confronted with it as a child through the medium of the family,
Human nature is neither a biologically fixed and innate sum total of drives nor is it a lifeless shadow of cultural patterns to which it adapts itself smoothly; it
is the product of human evolution...
In the process of dynamic adaptation to culture, a number of powerful drives develop which motivate the actions and feelings of the individual.
The individual may or may not be conscious of these drives, but in any case they are forceful and demand satisfaction once they have developed.
If this is a guy to whom you think I should listen, then I hope you're not ignoring him either. Maybe you'll now accept that 'you' have been formed by conditions not only not under your control, but by conditions of which you are completely unaware (and some that you think don't even exist).
Now please excuse me...I have another few chapters to read.