- Sep 2, 2023
- 5
- 1
- 30
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Calvary Chapel
- Marital Status
- Single
Hey everyone,
This is my first post here and I wanted to share about the issue I’ve been going through for quite some time.
I believe this issue was fueled by my relapse into watching p___ almost 2 years ago. It’s an issue with impulsive thoughts, and more recently, feeling relief from physical stress from having said thoughts.
Basically, I find myself constantly in physical stress, usually in my face, shoulders and back, and even in my eyes.
This stress for some reason will usually not go away unless I have some kind of a sinful thought. Mostly they are blasphemous thoughts, for example: If I curse God in my mind, I instantly feel a relief in my body and I can feel all my physical stress go away.
Now, I can’t tell if the relief is because of a prideful heart that enjoys telling God a cursing thought, or if it’s because of the relief of carrying the burden of NOT HAVING SINFUL THOUGHTS all day, or perhaps both.
I greatly suffer from this, and the stress keeps me from being able to really focus on anything else throughout the day.
I know that I have fueled this pattern for months now, and I’ve gotten to the point where I no longer feel immense guilt and condemnation for these thoughts, but I just don’t want to have them on purpose for the knowledge that they will take away my physical stress.
Is this something mental or is it spiritual?
Any feedback is totally welcome.
Blessings!
MTC
This is my first post here and I wanted to share about the issue I’ve been going through for quite some time.
I believe this issue was fueled by my relapse into watching p___ almost 2 years ago. It’s an issue with impulsive thoughts, and more recently, feeling relief from physical stress from having said thoughts.
Basically, I find myself constantly in physical stress, usually in my face, shoulders and back, and even in my eyes.
This stress for some reason will usually not go away unless I have some kind of a sinful thought. Mostly they are blasphemous thoughts, for example: If I curse God in my mind, I instantly feel a relief in my body and I can feel all my physical stress go away.
Now, I can’t tell if the relief is because of a prideful heart that enjoys telling God a cursing thought, or if it’s because of the relief of carrying the burden of NOT HAVING SINFUL THOUGHTS all day, or perhaps both.
I greatly suffer from this, and the stress keeps me from being able to really focus on anything else throughout the day.
I know that I have fueled this pattern for months now, and I’ve gotten to the point where I no longer feel immense guilt and condemnation for these thoughts, but I just don’t want to have them on purpose for the knowledge that they will take away my physical stress.
Is this something mental or is it spiritual?
Any feedback is totally welcome.
Blessings!
MTC