Don’t Conform: Going Along to Get Along Will Only Make Matters Worse

I agree!

The problem in 1930's Germany was too many Germans, including Church leaders, went along to get
along when the Nazi's came into power.

The similar thing is happening today and Eric Metaxas has written a book, "Letter to the American Church,"
in which he criticizes their silence in the face of LGBTQ evil. You can hear him speak of the book on YouTube.

This is a great topic to bring up. I find that too many Christian family members of LGBTQ people just give into the LGBTQ person's lifestyle and accept it because society deems it correct and because they don't want to lose the LGBTQ person's relationship through arguing. Let me tell you, you can say "no" to their LGBTQ lifestyle and still remain in a good relationship with them. But let me tell you, you have to mimic (to the tee) the way Christ dealt with sinners and their vices. Preach the Truth, love them unconditionally (but that doesn't mean accepting their sinful lifestyle) and pray for them.

The Catholic Church (with the Pope's lead) is holding a Synod in Oct 2023. Many good Catholics have reservations about this Synod because in their eyes the Pope is going just a little too far in LGBTQ people's direction. Many good Catholics think the Pope is conforming to the LGBTQ people's requests. I am watching this Synod closely to see how it plays out. Pray for the Holy Spirit to guide the Synod and Pope Francis.

Hvizsgyak said:

This is a great topic to bring up. I find that too many Christian family members of LGBTQ people just give into the LGBTQ person's lifestyle and accept it because society deems it correct and because they don't want to lose the LGBTQ person's relationship through arguing.

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Or maybe they love their family and they aren't willing to sacrifice concrete relationships with them for abstract religious principles.

Maybe it is best for a Christian to carefully balance keeping the commandments and understanding what is taking place in the world around them. Reading 1 John 2:1-29 is helpful especially verses 8-18. Much of Amos 5:1-27 is still relevant today especially Amos 5:13-15. Consider carefully what the Lord says in Luke 14:26-27.

Also be aware of major buzzwords of the world today and look up Bible verses that might mention the same word. A major word being proclaimed in this world is “pride” and Biblical verses that have this word can be found here:



The thing is though, and believe me I plead guilty here, is that we can fall into a trap of self righteous pride. Remember the case of the Pharisee in Luke 18:9-14 ( he maybe a better man than me). Also, remember John 14:15-18, Matthew 22:36-40, Matthew 7:1-12.

Hvizsgyak said:

This is a great topic to bring up. I find that too many Christian family members of LGBTQ people just give into the LGBTQ person's lifestyle and accept it because society deems it correct and because they don't want to lose the LGBTQ person's relationship through arguing.

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Are the options really either give in or lose the relationship? I don't think that's the case, as you seem to acknowledge immediately after this sentence by writing about how you can say "no" to their lifestyle and still remain in a good relationship with them. Maybe avoiding false choices in talking about this issue would help everyone immensely.

As to the more general topic of not 'going along to get along' or accepting outlooks that you find to be against your own, sure. That's kind of a no-brainer. Nobody actually wants to do that, because the cognitive dissonance involved in having to say up is down is too much for most people to live with comfortably. I just explain to the majority of my atheistic/areligious friends (who are the majority of my friends now that I'm not in an area where I can go to liturgy) that just like how they don't want to be forced to go to church with me or lie and say that they believe in Christianity when they don't to prove that they're 'real friends' or 'accepting' of me or whatever, I don't want to be forced to affirm or take part in anything that would involve having to lie or go against my conscience. We can be friends and love each other without getting so enmeshed in each other's lives that way. Whatever they're into in their bedrooms (regardless of how they 'identify') or however they feel about their gender or whatever is their business, and I'm not going to shame them for any of it, but I also don't want this to be a linchpin of our friendship or whatever. Just be you and I'll accept you because you're you and I already like you, not because you fit into this or that category of person. I don't collect friends like Pokemon or whatever. I don't fetishize my friends.

I treat family members the same way. I accept them because they're family, not because they're this or that type of person in terms of some kind of social, political, or sexual identifier (and, yes, I have LGBT-identifying people in my family). If you require absolute assent from your family and friends regarding everything you do or say you are, you're delusional and probably an awful family member and friend.

Vambram said:

Don’t Conform: Going Along to Get Along Will Only Make Matters Worse

Evangelism and good manners are not in contradiction, just like love and truth are one and the same.

dailycitizen.focusonthefamily.com

Now is not the time to go along in order to get along. To be clear, evangelism and good manners are not in contradiction, just like love and truth are one and the same. It is possible to do and be both – and all at once.

“Do not be conformed to this world,” wrote Paul. “But be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2).

Conformity and a “go along to get along” mentality are one of the many reasons we find ourselves in this uneven and dysfunctional season of American life. Of course, it’s propelled by fallen man and sin, but if nobody steps up or speaks out, the abnormal begins to be seen as normal.

It’s almost impossible to read today’s headlines and not think of Isaiah’s words: “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight” (5:20-21).

The Gospel is the antidote to the world’s dysfunction, and as believers, we have the privilege to carry this Good News forward.

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This isn’t really an argument against conformity, but an argument for conformity with your particular ideology.

Since the status quo has been lack of rights for LGBTQA+ persons on the grounds it doesn’t align with the religious principles of a particular religion, one could easily and successfully argue that the non-conformists are those who are advocating against that status quo set by that doctrine. They are the ones who stood up against the majority to fight for something different. So really your “don’t conform” calls could easily apply to those who are on the opposite end of your belief spectrum.

FireDragon76 said:

Or maybe they love their family and they aren't willing to sacrifice concrete relationships with them for abstract religious principles.

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If they truly loved the person AND truly trusted in God, they would tell the person the Truth in a loving spiritual way and hold firm to it without distancing the relationship. Acting on the sexual impulses that homosexuals engage is NOT an abstract religious principle. It is a SIN. And mortal sins will send you to Hell if not confessed.

Hvizsgyak said:

If they truly loved the person AND truly trusted in God, they would tell the person the Truth in a loving spiritual way and hold firm to it without distancing the relationship.

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That's not really possible, in most cases. It doesn't tend to work like that.

FireDragon76 said:

That's not really possible, in most cases. It doesn't tend to work like that.

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If the person already knows that in God's eyes what they are engaging in when it comes to homosexual acts is sinful then I agree with you there is not much more you can say to them to change their minds. Hence befriending them and being there for them is the best thing you can do for them. No sense rocking the boat any more than what it needs to be rocked.

But if they never knew that their actions could threaten their relationship with God (and possibly condemn to Hell then I, at least, would feel guilty for not saying something. My personal belief is for no to go to Hell (or the Abyss as some would call it).

FireDragon76 said:

Or maybe they love their family and they aren't willing to sacrifice concrete relationships with them for abstract religious principles.

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Point taken

however, faith and religion are not "abstract". Only in the mind and heart of those who cannot believe, or those who cannot commit, do things become a question of abstraction.

our best relationships depend not on things that are concrete