You said yourself that what happened to yours wife at age 3 was NOT an NDE. Paul’s is only assumed by some to be an NDE. It might not have had anything to do with death or near death, just like John’s vision in Revelation had nothing to do with death.
NDE is a misleading name for what's really happening in all these cases.
In normal healthy life, the human spirit remains attached to the body, within its personal temple, and cannot simply roam around.
However, in certain circumstances, the human spirit becomes detached and the person starts to experience things from a totally different viewpoint, an out of body perspective.
The triggers for that out of body experience are varied, but the one everybody will experience at some time with no exceptions, is the NDE. ie. When the body gives up the ghost. (Funny, I typed that sentence without thinking and then realised the exact literal truth in it!)
Even Jesus gave up the ghost!
With out of body experiences springing from near death, the question is whether the body can be made healthy enough for the human spirit to return home, ie. resuscitated or is the body beyond repair, releasing the human spirit for the next permanent stage of his existence. (ie. Going up or going down!)
Ultimately, all out of body experiences including NDEs, are just that, out of body experiences, but the next question is, what caused it?
In my wife's case, as with Paul and countless other, it was obviously the Lord calling her to come up higher. There are a number of books written by believers who have experienced such things without being near death. Obviously, if the Lord is the one calling them, then they are in a perfectly safe place.
However there are many who use occult practices or drugs to induce a separation between body and spirit, and in doing so they undoubtedly make themselves subject to the demonic realm.
Ultimately, NDEs and Paul, and my wife, they all underwent an
out of body experience.
And there might well be some NDEs that are real visions of heaven or visions of events here on earth. I’m just wondering if any statement of the truth of the information obtained in any NDE can be made, save that which comports with actual scripture. And if nothing but that, it seems like the best purpose that can be determined is similar to what your wife experienced, which was good, from what you said.
I believe we can be encouraged and learn much from these reports of heaven, even if they goes beyond what scripture reveals, as long as they don't contradict it.
At the end of the day, it's not out of body experiences, visions, prophecies etc which cause the church to be misled. For over a thousands years, the church was taught thousands of different doctrines by thousands of different priests and teachers, leading to thousands of different divisions, factions, and denominations to arise.
If anyone needs wisdom, let him ask of God who gives liberally without rebuke..........
It's time the body of Christ grew up and sought the Lord himself. Then we wouldn't be led around by every wind of doctrine!