You have to realize that there are two interpretations of BotS.
What is spoken of here, is the Pentecostal one, the one most known about these days, but it was taken from what the Holiness Movement understood. It is now thought to be about power whereas in the days of the HM, it was about holiness.
There is such a vast difference in the understandings and one way to understand it is to read War on the saints by Jessie-Penn-Lewis who tried to warn believers about the error coming in around 1904. You need the unabridged version though as one important letter from a German pastor has been removed which explains what exactly happens with the Pentecostal baptism.
Obviously the most essential point is we have to come to the Lord in true repentance first, that may come through preachers/the Word telling us we're sinners, the word of God spoken by mouth, or by reading, etc. Faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the word of God. We need to surrender our lives to him and he will cleanse our sins. The Holy Ghost won't always strive with man if man ignores him. If your stubborn/worldly ways doesn't allow Christ in he'll not come in and he'll not convict you.
A longing, a yearning, praying + studying the bible for acceptance into the new heavens and earth Christ is preparing for us will bring about a baptism of the Holy spirt (for some it can be gentle, for others a mighty force). When you first come to Christ in true repentance a deep desire resides in you that you know Christ has more for you on this earth, he desires a ministry/for you to be his witness on earth (only Christ knows what ministry you will have, he may have planned that he wants you to bring 1 more soul to him.) Some people get too occupied, i have to do more and more and more. They go where the wind blows without praying, meditating and waiting for Christ to tell them what to do.
Never ever think i'm saved, i'm ok now, all i have to do is focus on myself. Christ will reject you, he'll say, 'Depart from me i never knew you'. You'll be that goat he casts off into hell, the servant who was only given 1 talent but he hid it.
A true baptism of the Holy spirit is not limited to the book of Acts only, it can be found all throughout scripture. John 3:5 was the verse that triggered it with me. A deep understanding of the greek word 'hudor' triggered it and Christ allowed it to pour down from heaven to convince me he was real. i never knew Christ was and is so powerful.
but we must also keep his commandments and our bodies pure from worldly/earthly corruption, never thinking we've got there now. A true baptism of the Holy spirit is the earnest gift from Christ that an eternal home is there for you. Now you must live by his commandments and die unto the world and all its temptations.
god Bless