Can't Look in the Mirror

brandynicole · Apr 13, 2020

Hopeful37 said:
Beauty is something that starts within the heart and radiates outwards. I've met some beautiful people and because they didn't have a good heart, they weren't appealing at all and I've met some not so attractive people that had beautiful hearts and it far surpassed their looks. In fact, they were beautiful to me. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Stop looking at your physical imperfections. Let beauty grow and shine from the inside.

The Cracked Pot • Moral Stories

I don't know if that will be enough. If you knew how awful I am, it would turn you away from me in disgust.

I'll always be trying to do good things. And I'll never be good enough.

Hopeful37 · Apr 13, 2020

brandynicole said:
I don't know if that will be enough. If you knew how awful I am, it would turn you away from me in disgust.

I'll always be trying to do good things. And I'll never be good enough.

Ok. Tell me how awful u think u are then...

brandynicole · Apr 13, 2020

Hopeful37 said:
Ok. Tell me how awful u think u are then...

I'm not sure how detailed you want me to be, but I've messed up in every way. It's enough that I can't sleep and live with a darkness inside of me. Not to mention again, I can't look at myself in the mirror. I might be the worst person on the planet.

Hopeful37 · Apr 13, 2020

brandynicole said:
I'm not sure how detailed you want me to be, but I've messed up in every way. It's enough that I can't sleep and live with a darkness inside of me. Not to mention again, I can't look at myself in the mirror. I might be the worst person on the planet.

Maybe it would help to talk to someone about the way u feel honestly. Have u seen a therapist about this?

brandynicole · Apr 13, 2020

Hopeful37 said:
Maybe it would help to talk to someone about the way u feel honestly.

Ok

Hopeful37 · Apr 13, 2020

The reason I said that is because u have all these emotions bottled up inside. Perhaps u can start a diary to get it out or see a therapist.

brandynicole · Apr 13, 2020

Hopeful37 said:
The reason I said that is because u have all these emotions bottled up inside. Perhaps u can start a diary to get it out or see a therapist.

I've seen many therapists in my life, yet I still feel horrible. I think God created me like this so that I can suffer.

Hopeful37 · Apr 13, 2020

brandynicole said:
I've seen many therapists in my life, yet I still feel horrible. I think God created me like this so that I can suffer.

Just take it one day at a time. U did say before that you're gonna try.

Billy UK · Apr 15, 2020

brandynicole said:
I'm not sure how detailed you want me to be, but I've messed up in every way. It's enough that I can't sleep and live with a darkness inside of me. Not to mention again, I can't look at myself in the mirror. I might be the worst person on the planet.

I know these types of feelings as I feel this way about myself to at times. Try to keep opening up to people as the enemy likes to isolate you with his lying thoughts and feelings as he wants you to believe in all the evil thoughts about yourself.

faroukfarouk · Apr 16, 2020

Hopeful37 said:
The reason I said that is because u have all these emotions bottled up inside.

You know, the Psalms contain such a huge range of human emotion and feeling: the highs, the lows, the anguish, the joy, the faith, the Messianic content...

faroukfarouk · Apr 16, 2020

Billy UK said:
I know these types of feelings as I feel this way about myself to at times. Try to keep opening up to people as the enemy likes to isolate you with his lying thoughts and feelings as he wants you to believe in all the evil thoughts about yourself.

Good for ppl not to become too introspective. The believer can keep 'looking unto Jesus' (Hebrews 12.2).

Ruth 116 · Apr 19, 2020

Hi Brandynicole. Have you tried to look for good and beauty in yourself? I mean not just say it, but really stop and take time? God created us in His image so to curse yourself you are cursing God's creation.

What have you read about God in scripture? I recommend reading scripture each morning to start your day and set your perspective in line with God's. I just read the story of Ruth today and thought about you. You can read a great a great perspective about the story of Ruth to see how God was using the broken for His purposes and His Glory. I'm constantly reminded how naturally selfish we can be. My pastor reminded me, God is not an actor in the play of our life, but God is the story going on for eternity and we are simply supporting characters. Ask the Holy Spirit to replace the lies the enemy is feeding you for God's truth. The beautiful truth about you is already true, you just simply need to believe and receive it

brandynicole · Jun 12, 2020

Ruth 116 said:
Hi Brandynicole. Have you tried to look for good and beauty in yourself? I mean not just say it, but really stop and take time? God created us in His image so to curse yourself you are cursing God's creation.

What have you read about God in scripture? I recommend reading scripture each morning to start your day and set your perspective in line with God's. I just read the story of Ruth today and thought about you. You can read a great perspective about the story of Ruth to see how God was using the broken for His purposes and His Glory. I'm constantly reminded how naturally selfish we can be. My pastor reminded me, God is not an actor in the play of our life, but God is the story going on for eternity and we are simply supporting characters. Ask the Holy Spirit to replace the lies the enemy is feeding you for God's truth. The beautiful truth about you is already true, you just simply need to believe and receive it

I think the story of Ruth is amazing. You are so right in everything you wrote. The sad truth is I don't have much beauty inside. I wish I were more like her in every way. But I'm trying to be better. God knows this and I'll learn to be okay with it someday I suppose. I don't like myself at the moment, so it's hard to accept the truth in the Bible about me.

Aussie Pete · Jun 13, 2020

brandynicole said:
I think the story of Ruth is amazing. You are so right in everything you wrote. The sad truth is I don't have much beauty inside. I wish I were more like her in every way. But I'm trying to be better. God knows this and I'll learn to be okay with it someday I suppose. I don't like myself at the moment, so it's hard to accept the truth in the Bible about me.

If only you could see yourself as God sees you. The old you died on the cross when you accepted Christ. He also raised you up to be a new creation in Him. That's what God sees, not the old you.

klutedavid · Jun 13, 2020

brandynicole said:
This is something people say often, but it's just not true. The color of my skin, the gender I was born, my height, etc. all affect how people treat me. Some people are just more fortunate than others.

It doesn't matter how great my personality is if people are disgusted even before I get a chance to speak.

It seems that God just made some people inferior to others. I don't understand how a loving God could do such a thing.

Temporary afflictions.

You get a new appearance when Christ returns and that appearance is eternal. That is all that really matters in the end.

Cormack · Jul 22, 2020

It’s difficult to encourage people by text who are going through real struggles without sounding trite. Maybe that’s just a lack of something on my part.

Plus there’s nothing online to really share the depth of feeling some people can have reading about your hardship.

Imagining it myself, how happy would I be with 100s of well wishers online while people face to face can look at me with contempt, anger even, just because of dumb outward appearance stuff. I’d be pretty angry to be honest, I don’t get mopey around people, it’s easier to get mad

I think the most encouraging thing I can share is that there’s so much more to life than the things on the end of our nose, or our teeth, eyes, hair, small or big appearance things that annoy us. There’s friendship (both old and new), music, good food, discovering what you’re capable of (because we all write ourselves off way to soon.)

brandynicole · Jul 22, 2020

Cormack said:
It’s difficult to encourage people by text who are going through real struggles without sounding trite. Maybe that’s just a lack of something on my part.

Plus there’s nothing online to really share the depth of feeling some people can have reading about your hardship.

Imagining it myself, how happy would I be with 100s of well wishers online while people face to face can look at me with contempt, anger even, just because of dumb outward appearance stuff. I’d be pretty angry to be honest, I don’t get mopey around people, it’s easier to get mad

I think the most encouraging thing I can share is that there’s so much more to life than the things on the end of our nose, or our teeth, eyes, hair, small or big appearance things that annoy us. There’s friendship (both old and new), music, good food, discovering what you’re capable of (because we all write ourselves off way to soon.)

That was helpful thank you! Today I had a wonderful time worshiping God, and for a moment I forgot about all of my problems. Maybe I should do that more often?

I know those tough moments will come back sometime soon though.

Cormack · Jul 22, 2020

brandynicole said:
That was helpful thank you! Today I had a wonderful time worshiping God, and for a moment I forgot about all of my problems. Maybe I should do that more often?

I know those tough moments will come back sometime soon though.

I thought this topic is a bit old, so maybe going into it wouldn’t help at all. Glad I was partly correct

Keep owning the day, Brandy. Good things can snowball too, string some great weeks together :holy:

brandynicole · Jul 22, 2020

Cormack said:
I thought this topic is a bit old, so maybe going into it wouldn’t help at all. Glad I was partly correct

Keep owning the day, Brandy. Good things can snowball too, string some great weeks together

Thanks

You too

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