I accidentally, asked punishments from Gods in order to prove to them that I am not pretending

I was having intrusive thoughts about making promises and asking for punishment from Gods. it was about not updating my windows.

It was just intrusive thoughts and nothing more. but i was so scared that I avoided updating them. that created a compulsion.

• must not update windows

Some time later, I forgot about what the compulsion was exactly. I considered it as a chance to update the windows before I remember more and I freak out again.

I, suddenly, worried that it may seem as a mockery to Gods. Since the compulsion was about Them, it may seem as a mockery if I take the chance to do what I want just because i do not remember much about the compulsion/promise.

Ιt was just ocd threating me that it may seem as a mockery, just because I forgot some of the scary thoughts that were not allowing me to do what i want.

I worried that it may seem as if i was pretending that I forgot about the whole ocd thing and i am acting like nothing is bothering me.

I got more anxious and randomly, said something like

• I am not mocking. if there is a risk of a promise/punishment, i am taking the risk to prove that i am not mocking
  
  I said that because i wanted to prove to Gods that I am not mocking Them and that I know there is a compulsion/promise about it. since, I knew that it was just ocd, i was taking the risk of breaking the compulsion. compulsion means that there is no promise or punishment in the story.
  
  But i said it differently due to rush. i said something like
  
  
• if there is a risk of promise/punishment, i am taking the risk to prove that i am not mocking
  
  I said to Gods that they were just thoughts without my will. but, even so, i am still safe because i used the word "if"
  

since there was never a promise/punishment, then i am not taking any risk at all.

there was never a promise/punishment but my intrusive thoughts were about a promise/punishment. what if, by telling

• if there is a promise/punishment, i am taking the risk just to prove that i am not mocking.

was meant like

• if there is a promise/punishment in this story, even if it was generated in a compulsive way, (intrusive thoughts) i am accepting them and i take the risk just to prove that i am not mocking.

which means, that I may have accidenetally, turned those intrusive thoughts (ocd promise/punishment) to a real promise just to prove that i am not mocking them.

So, does this mean that I asked for a punishment? it was just a random thought that popped up, in a second.

I worry if it was accepted by Gods because I really, wanted to prove to them that i am not mocking Them. But, I did not want to ask for a punishment. i just wanted to say to Them that I am just taking a risk by breaking a compulsion with the condition that it is just a compulsion and nothing more.

I just, used wrong words. What if I meant it, for a second?