I was just given a message from God/Angel. I need help.

All human beings need between 6-8 hours of sleep every night. At 22 your going to be closer to 8 hours, perhaps even 9 as your not quite fully grown yet.

Also, everyone needs one day per week they aren't working, and might get a little more rest in, to re-energize for the next week.

That is not slothfulness...

If you find your requiring more sleep than that, it's quite possible you have a medical condition, there are sleep disorders, and many can be dealt with medically.

If your hearing things that are telling you that what is normal for everyone is sin, then your not hearing from God

If you have a medical condition, and your hearing something telling you anything other than you have a medical condition that needs a visit to a doctor, then your not hearing from God

Zach7 said:

I am 22M and I've recently been struggling with the christian walk. I've been a born-again christian for a little over a year after growing up agnostic and I am currently the only christian in my household.

To sum up what God has instructed me to do in my christian walk is:
make music, to "seize every second" and to "remain awake and become."

I have been discerning His Will for a long time and He has revealed to me through many signs and through His Word that I have to stay awake to create music.

He revealed to me that I oversleep and have used sleep to avoid working or fear. And that "slothfulness" is a sin I have to deal with.

I tried applying a polyphasic (20 minute naps) sleep schedule several times and failed to keep it.

I also keep falling asleep in prayer which is extremely irritating.

The past few weeks I have been struggling a lot emotionally and my sleep schedule has been all over the place. A few days I had a "sleep binge" and basically slept all day. Which I am extremely disappointed about.

Today, before I was about to fall asleep in the middle of prayer I was given a clear message. I know it wasn't my thought because it was quieter than my normal thoughts, I never speak like this, and I felt conviction after hearing it.

The message I was just given was:
“If you continue in rebellion God will speak and harden your heart.”

Here is scripture on God hardening hearts:
Romans 1:24-32
Hebrews 3:7-19

Do you believe this is from God or an angel?

If any of you could please give me advice on how to turn around and overcome this sin of disobedience/rebellion I would greatly appreciate it. I really need guidance from other christians.

I am also going to share some more personal things I have been struggling with below that might help you better understand my situation:


My Earthly Father:

I grew up with a very unloving and emotionally unsupportive and absent father. I constantly feel like my relationship with my earthly father gets in the way with my relationship with Father God.

I constantly feel like God is angry with me because my earthly father was and is always angry with me.

I know God has shown me only love and kindness but I feel like I always have that lingering, subconscious fear that He doesn't love me or is like my earthly father.


Fear of Man:

I grew up in a godless and very liberal environment. Everyone I knew was extremely critical and against God and Christianity, including me.

As a result, I tend to think about how people judge me for my faith. My earthly father and my brother have openly expressed that they think I am crazy.

And making music/being a light for the gospel tends to scare me. However, the fear is slowly fading.

Any advice on how to overcome this fear of man? I see so many christians who confidently express their faith.


Prayer:

I have recently been struggling with prayer.

When I first began my relationship with Christ I meditated while sitting on a cushion; which was comfortable.

However, I stopped this when God clearly told me in the middle of prayer to "get on my knees."

I realize this change in prayer has definitely humbled me, however it is much harder to focus on God and much less comfortable.

When I sat on a cushion I was able to deeply focus on God and still my mind without falling asleep.

I also know I was significantly improving because one night I started to ignore negative and fearful thoughts (as if they were just projection on a wall, aka fake) and I started "thinking of things above" (green pastures, still waters, people laughing and playing outdoors) as Paul instructed and felt God's Spirit flooding the top of my head.

That night was also significant because I was clearly attacked by satan. I heard a really strange cat growl and "oooohs" directly infront of me in the room and I got scared. I have never experienced anything like it and it made me feel crazy for a while.

While praying on my knees I have had no such experiences and keep falling asleep.

I want to respect and obey what God has told me to do but it is upsetting to see that I was improving and felt a closer connection to God while praying on a cushion. Also, I feel like if I was attacked/misled while praying that is a clear sign satan doesn't want me to continue doing that.


Relationship with ex-girlfriend:

My ex cheated on me about 4 years ago, which was extremely painful. I still love her and have forgiven her.

However, I keep having thoughts and dreams about her. I know she and her family is unsaved and I feel a sense of responsibility to share the gospel with her and her family.


The Church:

Obviously due to the coronavirus I haven't been attending church. But the protestant church I have been attending recently makes me feel like an outcast. (I'm non-denominational, it's just close to my house)

It is extremely traditional and most of the congregation are elderly while I am 22.

The extra-biblical/religious traditions in the church also make me feel very uncomfortable and the energy in the church is depressing.

I also question the legitimacy of some individual's relationship with Jesus. I asked one man "how long have you been with Christ?" and he gave me a strange look and said "I have been here all my life." referring to the church.

I desire a real communion without religion or institution. Just a family of brothers and sisters who share the faith.

I made one christian friend around my age, however she clearly likes me and is looking to get married. I have no interest in another relationship and decided to go celibate a long time ago.


How to be good soil that bears fruit:

And lastly I am just looking for some tips on how to be good soil that bears fruit in this world.

I see so many christians online spreading the gospel and I feel horrible when I see the fruitlessness of my faith.

What I am currently doing clearly isn't bearing fruit and I need to change.

Questions:

How do you study the Bible?

Are there any books you recommend I read?

What do you do, or what have you done in the past that has grown your relationship with Christ?



Thank you so much for taking the time to read all of this. I really appreciate it! Please help me change the direction of my faith.

Hope to see you on the other side. God bless.
- Zach

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Welcome! Have you considered the possibility that you may have a sleep disorder? You may also have depression in which sleeping a lot is very common especially binges. Do you exercise? At least walk a bit everyday? I would start that and do all your prayers while you walk even if it is inside the house.
Before you claim that God is telling you that you are rebellious, consider you may not be able to control your sleeping habit. I will pray for you. Be blessed and stay healthy!

Zach7 said:

He revealed to me that I oversleep and have used sleep to avoid working or fear. And that "slothfulness" is a sin I have to deal with.

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You have a sleep disorder.
Seek local treatment.

When God speaks to you, you shouldn't feel fear or pressure. The Word of God should calm you and give you peace.

When I first came to the Lord, I'd say to Him, "Lord You want me to love you yet I don't know what love is" . You want me to walk in holiness yet I was born in sin, my lips are filthy and I live among filthy people. By so doing, I gave Him all the Glory and He began to work in my life.

I just study the bible prayerfully. I also avoid reading biased bibles.

Random ideas and I haven't had girlfriends myself much yet but am thinking up good ideas for when.

- Sleep more, preferably in reasonably orderly fashion. I've always nodded off in the middle of everything (am 65), funnily enough it just disappeared recently. Oversleeping only means you miss your getting up time for the day's work. It doesn't mean anything else. I often get 45 minutes early to mid evening as well as the normal time from a couple of hours later. In spring and autumn, don't miss daylight for being awake (except shortish naps if it doesn't disturb work - no more than 20 mins). I was always exhausted as a youngster, then I caught encephalitis (sleepy sickness), that was just me. A doctor might tell you more. We're all different, it isn't basically heroic to skimp it.

- Old girlfriend: accept mere fact of emotion but don't conclude it is leading you anywhere except to commend that family to God in prayer; you may not be the one to tell them more; "sublimating" emotions (double mindedness) is not the way to go, keep life simple

- Prayer should mainly be petitions - for the needs of the saints, and your loved ones - for the fruitfulness of the ministries of the saints - for just government. I always start "Please God" or "Please Jesus" because it annoys bossy ones who are disappointingly absent to get annoyed, but I think it's better for our relationship than that pompous nonsense they tell us we've got to go in for. On your knees seems to work better for you. Any meditiation should be mentally busy, say by reading Scripture aloud.

- Scripture reading: use a Bible with cross references (sometimes in channel or at side). Have you got commentaries, general and/or on specific books?

- "Clear messages": that was you talking to yourself and the devil always wants us to get the worst out of it. The brain (everyone's) naturally assembles remembered phrases and concepts together with subconscious emotions, especially when we are tired. It's good to be convicted, but be careful what of. Certainly it's worthy to get yourself a little better organised if you've been a little disorganised.

- Growling cat thing I'm not specifically including in above comment.

- Fruit: I see wonderful fruit, you are defending your relationship with Christ and have developed a holy ambition and I pray you will get soundly mentored further. There is a fivefold ministry to partake in (not as celebrity) (I think two or three of those will be closer to our heart), there are many gifts (55 or so) and there are many ways of service - mostly by interceding. I for example don't consider myself basically an evangeliser. My friend is an evangeliser but her church doesn't like her bringing them her new friends. But I would pray for this.

- Music: i) beware of bad and excessive amplifying and excessive bass; ii) music in joint Christian life should be accompanying hymns, maybe occasional rather short ballad (not gimmicky or sentimental) (not for plenary use). Many lyrics exist; choose solid ones; if composing from Scripture use a theme from your studies not those trendy random phrases. Keep examining what gave you the idea. Do you want to pursue music outside church/christian life as well?

- Churches: ask God. It doesn't matter what others say they are there for, perhaps they have useful qualities somehow. If they are really taking belief right away from you, eventually you may have to look into something. Perhaps their music is good. Are the sermons and other activities building up maturity in you and others? We don't need to fixate on an image of christians in others or in ourself. Don't project your grumpy relatives onto church members. "Extra-biblical traditions" are of many kinds and frankly there are some that are harmless. Are there some game old birds you can ask to mentor you a little (if you've got their phone numbers)?

- Repenting: yes we've all got to keep doing that, of small and occasionally medium sized things, you will know whether that amounts to "rebellion" or not. The burden of His relationship is light!

Well you've brought me the Gospel this evening! Oh and your guardian angel is looking after you!

Zach7 said:

I am 22M and I've recently been struggling with the christian walk. I've been a born-again christian for a little over a year after growing up agnostic and I am currently the only christian in my household.

To sum up what God has instructed me to do in my christian walk is:
make music, to "seize every second" and to "remain awake and become."

I have been discerning His Will for a long time and He has revealed to me through many signs and through His Word that I have to stay awake to create music.

He revealed to me that I oversleep and have used sleep to avoid working or fear. And that "slothfulness" is a sin I have to deal with.

I tried applying a polyphasic (20 minute naps) sleep schedule several times and failed to keep it.

I also keep falling asleep in prayer which is extremely irritating.

The past few weeks I have been struggling a lot emotionally and my sleep schedule has been all over the place. A few days I had a "sleep binge" and basically slept all day. Which I am extremely disappointed about.

Today, before I was about to fall asleep in the middle of prayer I was given a clear message. I know it wasn't my thought because it was quieter than my normal thoughts, I never speak like this, and I felt conviction after hearing it.

The message I was just given was:
“If you continue in rebellion God will speak and harden your heart.”

Here is scripture on God hardening hearts:
Romans 1:24-32
Hebrews 3:7-19

Do you believe this is from God or an angel?

If any of you could please give me advice on how to turn around and overcome this sin of disobedience/rebellion I would greatly appreciate it. I really need guidance from other christians.

I am also going to share some more personal things I have been struggling with below that might help you better understand my situation:


My Earthly Father:

I grew up with a very unloving and emotionally unsupportive and absent father. I constantly feel like my relationship with my earthly father gets in the way with my relationship with Father God.

I constantly feel like God is angry with me because my earthly father was and is always angry with me.

I know God has shown me only love and kindness but I feel like I always have that lingering, subconscious fear that He doesn't love me or is like my earthly father.


Fear of Man:

I grew up in a godless and very liberal environment. Everyone I knew was extremely critical and against God and Christianity, including me.

As a result, I tend to think about how people judge me for my faith. My earthly father and my brother have openly expressed that they think I am crazy.

And making music/being a light for the gospel tends to scare me. However, the fear is slowly fading.

Any advice on how to overcome this fear of man? I see so many christians who confidently express their faith.


Prayer:

I have recently been struggling with prayer.

When I first began my relationship with Christ I meditated while sitting on a cushion; which was comfortable.

However, I stopped this when God clearly told me in the middle of prayer to "get on my knees."

I realize this change in prayer has definitely humbled me, however it is much harder to focus on God and much less comfortable.

When I sat on a cushion I was able to deeply focus on God and still my mind without falling asleep.

I also know I was significantly improving because one night I started to ignore negative and fearful thoughts (as if they were just projection on a wall, aka fake) and I started "thinking of things above" (green pastures, still waters, people laughing and playing outdoors) as Paul instructed and felt God's Spirit flooding the top of my head.

That night was also significant because I was clearly attacked by satan. I heard a really strange cat growl and "oooohs" directly infront of me in the room and I got scared. I have never experienced anything like it and it made me feel crazy for a while.

While praying on my knees I have had no such experiences and keep falling asleep.

I want to respect and obey what God has told me to do but it is upsetting to see that I was improving and felt a closer connection to God while praying on a cushion. Also, I feel like if I was attacked/misled while praying that is a clear sign satan doesn't want me to continue doing that.


Relationship with ex-girlfriend:

My ex cheated on me about 4 years ago, which was extremely painful. I still love her and have forgiven her.

However, I keep having thoughts and dreams about her. I know she and her family is unsaved and I feel a sense of responsibility to share the gospel with her and her family.


The Church:

Obviously due to the coronavirus I haven't been attending church. But the protestant church I have been attending recently makes me feel like an outcast. (I'm non-denominational, it's just close to my house)

It is extremely traditional and most of the congregation are elderly while I am 22.

The extra-biblical/religious traditions in the church also make me feel very uncomfortable and the energy in the church is depressing.

I also question the legitimacy of some individual's relationship with Jesus. I asked one man "how long have you been with Christ?" and he gave me a strange look and said "I have been here all my life." referring to the church.

I desire a real communion without religion or institution. Just a family of brothers and sisters who share the faith.

I made one christian friend around my age, however she clearly likes me and is looking to get married. I have no interest in another relationship and decided to go celibate a long time ago.


How to be good soil that bears fruit:

And lastly I am just looking for some tips on how to be good soil that bears fruit in this world.

I see so many christians online spreading the gospel and I feel horrible when I see the fruitlessness of my faith.

What I am currently doing clearly isn't bearing fruit and I need to change.

Questions:

How do you study the Bible?

Are there any books you recommend I read?

What do you do, or what have you done in the past that has grown your relationship with Christ?



Thank you so much for taking the time to read all of this. I really appreciate it! Please help me change the direction of my faith.

Hope to see you on the other side. God bless.
- Zach

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I would suggest you deal with a bit of depression, perhaps caused partially by the people who surround you and how it weighs on you.
I also struggle to maintain energy even with all the vitamins I need. I can collapse in the middle of the day without warning, but usually it's a day when I'm just feeling low and depressed. Three other things to check would be low iron (anemia), sleep apnea and an overactive adrenal gland.

Do you ever wake up choking in the middle of the night? Sometimes I dream I swallowed something huge and wake up terrified that something is stuck in my throat. That's sleep apnea. If you seem to fluctuate between tons of energy and exhaustion, that's probably an overactive adrenal gland. And if you just feel weak all the time, that could be iron.

As far as the message form God, the message is true in the right context. However, don't forget satan can also twist Scripture like he did with Jesus in the wilderness (Matthew 4) and satan can make himself seem like an "angel of light". So I would just be careful. Don't ignore it, but you're not going to lose your salvation by falling asleep during prayer... Just try to figure out why you're so sleepy.

Also, you mention that you heard noises in your room? AND you heard a voice telling you to pray on your knees, even though in that position you keep falling asleep? Spiritual battle is a real thing. I'm not sure the voice you heard was actually from God if it's causing you to worship Him less efficiently... I suggest go back to praying on a cushion and see what happens. There's nowhere in the Bible it says "Thou shalt pray on your knees." A physical position of humility is great, but a humble heart is even greater.

If it helps, I used to hear sounds in my bedroom at night too. Chains clanking, a voice saying my name, etc. And I know I was under spiritual attack those days. I had also begun writing worshipful music more seriously, so I believe there is a connection. You may notice this over time, but when you move to a new home or stay overseas for awhile, you may have the same things happen initially. When I stayed in the south pacific I suddenly had nightmares about sports and a baseball knocking off a spectators head! It was so random... And then when I moved out of home and into my apartment, my first night I was awoken by a loud swoosh and saw something black and shadowy fly across the room. Never happened again, but yeah... The key is to just pray for peace and courage, and know that eventually those attacks will go away as you look to God.

Definitely share the gospel with your ex if you have a chance. I think that's a great goal!

You should "join" me at my church! You can find the Facebook page here. It's being livestreamed Sunday mornings right now and there are a lot of younger people there. We're currently looking for a new pastor, but the guy that preaches right now is fairly decent. We're also doing our adult Sunday school classes with livestreaming, which is nice because then you can ask any questions you have and have some good discussions.

I wouldn't assume you're not bearing fruit. Sometimes you just don't see it for a long time. I've been praying for a friend for five years now, and I think he's closer to salvation than before, but he's still not there. It will happen when God decides, but in the meantime it's tempting to feel like I haven't born any fruit. I've shared my music, and he never listened to it to my knowledge. We talk about Jesus and the church and he agrees with everything I say, but clearly still has no relationship with Jesus...

As you know, I also write music. That last one you liked on my page got sent to none other than Chip Ingram (he's a decent Christian author and pastor if you ever want to look him up). I was very excited, but... never heard anything back. The story of my life. Nevertheless, that song like so many others is online and I know some have been downloaded. Who knows what God may do with them some day or where they could end up? I have hope that he will use the seeds I've planted to produce fruit either now or later.

Here's another example. There's a Christian ministry called Lamplighter Publishing which takes obscure, forgotten old Christian books, reprints them with beautiful covers and even turns some into professional audio dramas for purchase and radio broadcasts. Some are even made into live theater productions. I'm sure those authors wouldn't have believed that their books would be re-published with new covers even better than the originals and entertaining media for audiences in the 21st century! How encouraging would that be?!

So to answer your questions:

#1: I honestly need to be much more regular in my studies, but it's ALWAYS important to read the whole context of a verse and not just that verse. 90% of the confusion out there is because people read one verse, read it the wrong way, and base their whole theology on that one misinterpretation. So that's definitely important. Also compare translations because some are paraphrases and some are more literal. It's not easy translating perfectly from one language to another, so the differences in English translations are just different attempts to be get to the original meaning of the Greek or Hebrew words. Others, though, are mainly trying to translate into modern English, so be careful with those.

#2: Books. Wow. Ideally I would know your interests. Let me check my library and see which I'd recommend...

"Standing in the Fire" by Tom Doyle
"Unstuck" by Mark Jobe
"Getting to Know the Church Fathers" by Bryan M. Litfin
"Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper
"The Real God" by Chip Ingram
"Worn Out by Obedience" by Ron Moore
"Knowing God" J. I. Packer
"The Knowledge of the Holy" A. W. Tozer
"The Screwtape Letters" C. S. Lewis
"The Road of Applied Forgiveness" Rick & Eunie Johnson
"The Unsaved Church" Dean Inserra
"Adorning the Dark" Andrew Peterson (a fellow song writer, so you'd probably relate to a lot of this one)

And finally, if you want a 1-Month devotional, I found a really fascinating one called "30 Days in the Land of the Psalms" by Charles H. Dyer which kind of takes you through a virtual tour of the Holy Land.

#3. What has helped me grow in Christ is identifying the root cause of my biggest weaknesses. I realized some of the things I did were because I was actually hurting emotionally deep inside even though I was hardly aware of it. Now when I'm tempted to sin in certain ways, I'm trying to stop and ask myself "Why are you here again? What's hurting you today?" It happened yesterday, and after thinking about it awhile I finally realized that early that morning my friend (whom I work with) was called away at the end of our shift and he said he'd stop by before I left for home. Well, I took my time and waited for him to show up again, but I saw him hanging around in another department seemingly with no intention of coming back to say goodbye. So I just left finally. I didn't really think much about it, but that small thing was actually hurting all day and left me vulnerable emotionally. So I'm trying to do better at recognizing things like that.

Also, taking steps of faith will help you grow. When you take on a problem that you really don't have the power to succeed in by yourself you'll see how God is more than happy to demonstrate His power to you. That, in turn, will give you greater confidence and boldness.

Don't lose heart. I think your music is very good and I'm sure hearts will be impacted by your words. Just give it some time and keep pressing forward.

@Zach7

Psalm 127:1 (KJV) A Song of degrees for Solomon. Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.

Certainly not to pour cold water on others' truly excellent suggestions but from the ambitious reading list of Messerve it might be as well not to prioritise John Piper before researching him.

The ideal foil to Screwtape is The Gravedigger Files by Os Guinness. Several of Dr David Pawson's works, and of Rev R T Kendall's later works I found helpful.

Hi Zach7,
Depression or a sleep disorder seems probable, a doctor may help sort that one out for you...... be patient with yourself as our life as Christians are forever being led to change into the likeness of Jesus, you are doing well to pray (I too drift off often, 69yo) and we are encouraged to be in prayer always, so you can pray even in the loo as and we cannot always have a cushion with us eh! ...... if the voices you hear do not mirror scripture then view the ideas expressed as suspect, I have been attacked spiritually myself but God is the same yesterday today and forever and does not change his views .... when you read your bible take a little time to ask yourself questions about what you are reading, who is it for, too, about etc, and if there is something that appears hard to understand then look for other verses in the whole bible that speak on the same subject to get a correct overview ......... but not all bibles are proper bibles some are paraphrases, I like ESV, KJVer(easy read) and perhaps read the "Daily Bread" devotions as a boost to daily bible rerading and prayer .......... there are many people who go to church who are not saved or born again and rely on church attendance or themselves instead of the saviour (sad but true) but with patience and love perhaps you can have a mission to help steer those people you meet to the cross and save more souls, I speak from experience here, most of those I have met are elderly too! and hard to change they just need to see their position before God and that faith in the saviour is what saves them for heaven, not church attendance...... find a verse that you can use to meditate on for strength, wisdom, courage or faith in your journey with Jesus ..... mine is Isaiah Isaiah 41:10 - Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

some others:
Psalms 34:4 - I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

1 John 4:4 - Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

Hi Zach

I'm going to jump around a bit with my reply - hope you don't mind.


Music

It sounds wonderful that God wants you to use your musical talent (even if it's still developing) to build His Kingdom. Just be faithful and keep learning, practicing, writing - whatever you need to do. What I would say to you is to keep your lyrics Biblical and pointing to Him. So much "Christian" music nowadays is just nonsense and is more just to sound like the world. Actually, I think a number of artists have/would fail in the secular music world and so they try in Christian music - the lyrics and music really are not much different!

In all you do, you are a vessel, to be used by Him, for His glory and His Kingdom. Our reward is from Him, not from the praise of men which leads to pride. It's a bit older now, but I wonder if you've ever listened to any of Keith Green's music? Anyway, you just be who God has called you to be, and not an emulation of someone else!


Sleep

With your sleep, just try to get yourself in a regular pattern again. If you keep your curtains in your room closed, open them and let sunlight in! A few months ago my sleep patterns went well out of whack through staying up until the very early hours of the morning, then sleeping as the sun came up and, because of the short winter days here, I was waking when the sun was going down. And then I felt like a nap in the evening which made going to sleep difficult at night! So I got that whole timing sorted out.


Rebellion message

Regarding your "rebellion" message I can tell you the following :

A number of years ago now, an old place I worked for asked me to go in and help them interview someone for a position that I used to do and could potentially do again, if I really wanted to - which I didn't! It involved a distance in travel time and it wasn't something I wanted to get involved in at that time. But I clearly heard

A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber... (Proverbs 6:10)

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I knew that this was a Proverb in the Bible. I said I'd do the job and, looking back, I'm glad now that I did.

The key thing, I believe, is that I knew that was a Bible verse and I knew I needed to kick myself into gear and get working! With your "If you continue in rebellion, God will speak and harden your heart" message, that sounds like it is not from God! Firstly, it is not a Scripture, and the verses you gave are not in the context of what you have been saying.

So I would say a couple of other things :

1) Your relationship with God is not based on works, as in "get this done or else you're in the bad books".

2) Having said that, I would counsel you to try to get your sleep patterns worked out and then not to nap but just go to bed at the right time. I know that things like your situation at home may get you down and you may want to just sleep through the days so you don't have to deal with "stuff", but you have to give those things over to God, trust Him to sort things out in His time but you keep doing what He has asked you to do.

3) Please get that sorted out before you find years have flown by!! There could come days when we cannot work - when times are dark and you won't be able to so easily use the giftings God has given you.

We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work. (John 9:4)

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Prayer

If you believe God told you to get on your knees one time, does that mean you have to always now be on your knees? If it was God, He may have just needed to see your obedience on that one occasion. But if being on your cushion helps, sit on it to pray!


Bible / books

What I'd say to you is to do what probably many who have been born again for years, haven't done. And that is to read the Bible from cover to cover. Some bits are harder to read but persevere! Just read it all the way through, Genesis to Revelation. Don't even look at other notes or books or notes in your Bible. Just read and ask the Author (God) to speak to you.

You see, even if there are bits you don't understand when you read them, things may click into place further on. Reading like this means that you've read it and God can recall those Scriptures if needed.

Once you've done that, you can read in a different way, or then, maybe, start to read some commentaries as you read or look things up online. But make sure what you read from someone else ties in with the rest of Scripture... and you'll only really know that by having read it all, which is why I recommend you do that first!


Church

The search for a good church can be difficult if you're restricted by distance / transport. One problem with a lot of today's church is that things are all about performance and putting on a good show and an easy to hear message. With this church, does the message that's given feed you? Or is there no life to it? Is it just that one man in that church who is like that? Sadly, there will have been many people who have been in church all their life but yet not know Jesus. From all your description, it doesn't sound like the place where you will grow and mature in Him.

The kind of 'church' gathering you are looking for is what you should be after, and what the Church should be about. Where you all encourage each other in the Lord and it gives life to you! Ask the Lord to direct you. It may even just be a home group that He leads you to. He knows where is best!


Relationships

Oh boy, relationships and our heart are difficult things to navigate. And relationships can be hard to get over, as you know! I would say that if you haven't/don't see her on a regular basis still, then don't go looking for the opportunity to see her. I know that you want to tell her about the Lord but you also want to see her and spend time with her! Better really, is to ask the Lord to give you opportunity to speak to people (not just her).

At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ (Colossians 4:3)

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If it's God's will for you to speak to her, he'll open the way. Otherwise, don't open yourself up to more hurt. I know... It's difficult. I don't usually talk to people about relationships because they usually do what they want to in the end - it's not always easy when our heart wants something. But you need to give her and your feelings for her to God.


Fear of Man

Yep, that can be difficult too. Especially when we want to be liked/loved and haven't had that as we should have as we were growing up. I can only say to you to ask God for His Holy Spirit to make you bold...

And when they had prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness. (Acts 4:31)

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and [pray] also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.(Ephesians 6:19)

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Earthly Father

Firstly, how you are growing in the Lord, and your desire to grow in Him more, is a sign that you are on the right path to bear much good fruit. And that's so wonderful to see. I'll just say, as someone who is old enough to be your earthly father, that I would be very proud if you were my son. If I can say that, how much, much, MUCH more does your heavenly Father say it who called you to be part of His family ?

Just keep growing. Read the Word, pray, be obedient, trust Him and you will grow and be strong!

God bless

The way I study the Bible is by writing down verses that will help me change and convict me on pieces of paper. I have a small bundle of them and I read it mostly everyday. Try it. Only the Word can wash you. The times ahead is not going to be easy from the looks of it. So you should be serious about your walk with God.

ForTheKingdom said:

Hi Zach

I'm going to jump around a bit with my reply - hope you don't mind.


Music

It sounds wonderful that God wants you to use your musical talent (even if it's still developing) to build His Kingdom. Just be faithful and keep learning, practicing, writing - whatever you need to do. What I would say to you is to keep your lyrics Biblical and pointing to Him. So much "Christian" music nowadays is just nonsense and is more just to sound like the world. Actually, I think a number of artists have/would fail in the secular music world and so they try in Christian music - the lyrics and music really are not much different!

In all you do, you are a vessel, to be used by Him, for His glory and His Kingdom. Our reward is from Him, not from the praise of men which leads to pride. It's a bit older now, but I wonder if you've ever listened to any of Keith Green's music? Anyway, you just be who God has called you to be, and not an emulation of someone else!


Sleep

With your sleep, just try to get yourself in a regular pattern again. If you keep your curtains in your room closed, open them and let sunlight in! A few months ago my sleep patterns went well out of whack through staying up until the very early hours of the morning, then sleeping as the sun came up and, because of the short winter days here, I was waking when the sun was going down. And then I felt like a nap in the evening which made going to sleep difficult at night! So I got that whole timing sorted out.


Rebellion message

Regarding your "rebellion" message I can tell you the following :

A number of years ago now, an old place I worked for asked me to go in and help them interview someone for a position that I used to do and could potentially do again, if I really wanted to - which I didn't! It involved a distance in travel time and it wasn't something I wanted to get involved in at that time. But I clearly heard I knew that this was a Proverb in the Bible. I said I'd do the job and, looking back, I'm glad now that I did.

The key thing, I believe, is that I knew that was a Bible verse and I knew I needed to kick myself into gear and get working! With your "If you continue in rebellion, God will speak and harden your heart" message, that sounds like it is not from God! Firstly, it is not a Scripture, and the verses you gave are not in the context of what you have been saying.

So I would say a couple of other things :

1) Your relationship with God is not based on works, as in "get this done or else you're in the bad books".

2) Having said that, I would counsel you to try to get your sleep patterns worked out and then not to nap but just go to bed at the right time. I know that things like your situation at home may get you down and you may want to just sleep through the days so you don't have to deal with "stuff", but you have to give those things over to God, trust Him to sort things out in His time but you keep doing what He has asked you to do.

3) Please get that sorted out before you find years have flown by!! There could come days when we cannot work - when times are dark and you won't be able to so easily use the giftings God has given you.




Prayer

If you believe God told you to get on your knees one time, does that mean you have to always now be on your knees? If it was God, He may have just needed to see your obedience on that one occasion. But if being on your cushion helps, sit on it to pray!


Bible / books

What I'd say to you is to do what probably many who have been born again for years, haven't done. And that is to read the Bible from cover to cover. Some bits are harder to read but persevere! Just read it all the way through, Genesis to Revelation. Don't even look at other notes or books or notes in your Bible. Just read and ask the Author (God) to speak to you.

You see, even if there are bits you don't understand when you read them, things may click into place further on. Reading like this means that you've read it and God can recall those Scriptures if needed.

Once you've done that, you can read in a different way, or then, maybe, start to read some commentaries as you read or look things up online. But make sure what you read from someone else ties in with the rest of Scripture... and you'll only really know that by having read it all, which is why I recommend you do that first!


Church

The search for a good church can be difficult if you're restricted by distance / transport. One problem with a lot of today's church is that things are all about performance and putting on a good show and an easy to hear message. With this church, does the message that's given feed you? Or is there no life to it? Is it just that one man in that church who is like that? Sadly, there will have been many people who have been in church all their life but yet not know Jesus. From all your description, it doesn't sound like the place where you will grow and mature in Him.

The kind of 'church' gathering you are looking for is what you should be after, and what the Church should be about. Where you all encourage each other in the Lord and it gives life to you! Ask the Lord to direct you. It may even just be a home group that He leads you to. He knows where is best!


Relationships

Oh boy, relationships and our heart are difficult things to navigate. And relationships can be hard to get over, as you know! I would say that if you haven't/don't see her on a regular basis still, then don't go looking for the opportunity to see her. I know that you want to tell her about the Lord but you also want to see her and spend time with her! Better really, is to ask the Lord to give you opportunity to speak to people (not just her).



If it's God's will for you to speak to her, he'll open the way. Otherwise, don't open yourself up to more hurt. I know... It's difficult. I don't usually talk to people about relationships because they usually do what they want to in the end - it's not always easy when our heart wants something. But you need to give her and your feelings for her to God.


Fear of Man

Yep, that can be difficult too. Especially when we want to be liked/loved and haven't had that as we should have as we were growing up. I can only say to you to ask God for His Holy Spirit to make you bold...






Earthly Father

Firstly, how you are growing in the Lord, and your desire to grow in Him more, is a sign that you are on the right path to bear much good fruit. And that's so wonderful to see. I'll just say, as someone who is old enough to be your earthly father, that I would be very proud if you were my son. If I can say that, how much, much, MUCH more does your heavenly Father say it who called you to be part of His family ?

Just keep growing. Read the Word, pray, be obedient, trust Him and you will grow and be strong!

God bless

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Funny, you're the second one to mention to him to listen to Keith Green! Maybe that's what you ought to do, Zach!

longwait said:

The way I study the Bible is by writing down verses that will help me change and convict me on pieces of paper. I have a small bundle of them and I read it mostly everyday. Try it. Only the Word can wash you.

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You should put them in a blog on here and put a link in your signature!

The times ahead is not going to be easy from the looks of it. So you should be serious about your walk with God.

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Very true. I'm going through and making a note of verses which will remind me of God's greatness and how He is in ultimate control over both His creation, and my life. Now I suppose I'll have to start a blog entry, listing them!! But, of course, everyone needs to read for themselves.

God bless

I find going for a walk helps with sleep.

Zach7 said:

What do you do, or what have you done in the past that has grown your relationship with Christ?

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Every night I say

"The favor of God is on me, the favor of God surrounds me, and the favor of God goes before me. I have access to the throne of divine favor, and in time of need that favor comes my way." Savelle, Jerry. The Favor of God (p. 126). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

“My expectations are from God. The blessing of God is on my life and it’s going to show up every day of my life. I expect it.” Savelle, Jerry. Every Day A Blessing Day. Savelle Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Zach7 said:

I am 22M and I've recently been struggling with the christian walk. I've been a born-again christian for a little over a year after growing up agnostic and I am currently the only christian in my household.

To sum up what God has instructed me to do in my christian walk is:
make music, to "seize every second" and to "remain awake and become."

I have been discerning His Will for a long time and He has revealed to me through many signs and through His Word that I have to stay awake to create music.

He revealed to me that I oversleep and have used sleep to avoid working or fear. And that "slothfulness" is a sin I have to deal with.

I tried applying a polyphasic (20 minute naps) sleep schedule several times and failed to keep it.

I also keep falling asleep in prayer which is extremely irritating.

The past few weeks I have been struggling a lot emotionally and my sleep schedule has been all over the place. A few days I had a "sleep binge" and basically slept all day. Which I am extremely disappointed about.

Today, before I was about to fall asleep in the middle of prayer I was given a clear message. I know it wasn't my thought because it was quieter than my normal thoughts, I never speak like this, and I felt conviction after hearing it.

The message I was just given was:
“If you continue in rebellion God will speak and harden your heart.”

Here is scripture on God hardening hearts:
Romans 1:24-32
Hebrews 3:7-19

Do you believe this is from God or an angel?

If any of you could please give me advice on how to turn around and overcome this sin of disobedience/rebellion I would greatly appreciate it. I really need guidance from other christians.

I am also going to share some more personal things I have been struggling with below that might help you better understand my situation:


My Earthly Father:

I grew up with a very unloving and emotionally unsupportive and absent father. I constantly feel like my relationship with my earthly father gets in the way with my relationship with Father God.

I constantly feel like God is angry with me because my earthly father was and is always angry with me.

I know God has shown me only love and kindness but I feel like I always have that lingering, subconscious fear that He doesn't love me or is like my earthly father.


Fear of Man:

I grew up in a godless and very liberal environment. Everyone I knew was extremely critical and against God and Christianity, including me.

As a result, I tend to think about how people judge me for my faith. My earthly father and my brother have openly expressed that they think I am crazy.

And making music/being a light for the gospel tends to scare me. However, the fear is slowly fading.

Any advice on how to overcome this fear of man? I see so many christians who confidently express their faith.


Prayer:

I have recently been struggling with prayer.

When I first began my relationship with Christ I meditated while sitting on a cushion; which was comfortable.

However, I stopped this when God clearly told me in the middle of prayer to "get on my knees."

I realize this change in prayer has definitely humbled me, however it is much harder to focus on God and much less comfortable.

When I sat on a cushion I was able to deeply focus on God and still my mind without falling asleep.

I also know I was significantly improving because one night I started to ignore negative and fearful thoughts (as if they were just projection on a wall, aka fake) and I started "thinking of things above" (green pastures, still waters, people laughing and playing outdoors) as Paul instructed and felt God's Spirit flooding the top of my head.

That night was also significant because I was clearly attacked by satan. I heard a really strange cat growl and "oooohs" directly infront of me in the room and I got scared. I have never experienced anything like it and it made me feel crazy for a while.

While praying on my knees I have had no such experiences and keep falling asleep.

I want to respect and obey what God has told me to do but it is upsetting to see that I was improving and felt a closer connection to God while praying on a cushion. Also, I feel like if I was attacked/misled while praying that is a clear sign satan doesn't want me to continue doing that.


Relationship with ex-girlfriend:

My ex cheated on me about 4 years ago, which was extremely painful. I still love her and have forgiven her.

However, I keep having thoughts and dreams about her. I know she and her family is unsaved and I feel a sense of responsibility to share the gospel with her and her family.


The Church:

Obviously due to the coronavirus I haven't been attending church. But the protestant church I have been attending recently makes me feel like an outcast. (I'm non-denominational, it's just close to my house)

It is extremely traditional and most of the congregation are elderly while I am 22.

The extra-biblical/religious traditions in the church also make me feel very uncomfortable and the energy in the church is depressing.

I also question the legitimacy of some individual's relationship with Jesus. I asked one man "how long have you been with Christ?" and he gave me a strange look and said "I have been here all my life." referring to the church.

I desire a real communion without religion or institution. Just a family of brothers and sisters who share the faith.

I made one christian friend around my age, however she clearly likes me and is looking to get married. I have no interest in another relationship and decided to go celibate a long time ago.


How to be good soil that bears fruit:

And lastly I am just looking for some tips on how to be good soil that bears fruit in this world.

I see so many christians online spreading the gospel and I feel horrible when I see the fruitlessness of my faith.

What I am currently doing clearly isn't bearing fruit and I need to change.

Questions:

How do you study the Bible?

Are there any books you recommend I read?

What do you do, or what have you done in the past that has grown your relationship with Christ?



Thank you so much for taking the time to read all of this. I really appreciate it! Please help me change the direction of my faith.

Hope to see you on the other side. God bless.
- Zach

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From what you have mentioned I can't see anything specifically that God's judgement would be coming down heavy on. However I would get you to consider your relationship with your girl friend, as a believer you should be seeking a Christian girl, for God's goal is marriage in any relationship, and being married to a person who does not have the same spiritual goals is a real hassle. You mentioned they have been unfaithful, it is likely to happen again. As a Christian you deserve a stable, faithful, and loving wife.

However this time is a time of judgement for many, if there is any sin in your life (things that differ from the bible) definitely purge it.