- Dec 4, 2019
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If you can't lose your name from the Lamb's Book of Life for a dream/hallucination why do I worry about it. Everyone tells me there is no Mark of the Beast out yet to take although I am worried that I dreamed it into existence. I saw a yellow cross/light in the shower and I fell before it thinking it was Jesus. I didn't do the Biblical version of Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit like the Pharisees and how they spoke against Jesus and accused the Holy Spirit of being of Satan attributing the Holy Spirit to Satan.
Everyone tells me that Jesus isn't going to hold me eternally responsible for brief mental illness with schizophrenia with the light but I saw a blue sphere on the floor that told me otherwise but everyone tells me the blue sphere and yellow light wasn't real and that it wasn't really blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I keep getting told Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is verbal and a hard heart not a dream/hallucination.
I just can't figure it out why would God hold me responsible for a dream/hallucination. How could a dream/hallucination be blasphemy? The yellow light wasn't real and crosses don't talk to people I am just so worried that I can't get raptured for confusing Jesus and Satan in psychosis is confusing Jesus and Satan blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.
I am just so scared that I am going to spend eternity in hell for an accident out of my control. Everyone keeps telling me to focus on the character of God who is love would he send his child to hell for mental illness and blot his name from the Lamb's Book Of Life for an accident. I truly love God and the thought I hurt him breaks my heart.
Everyone tells me God isn't going to send me to hell for being mentally ill but it feels so real to me. In my right mind I would never hurt Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit but the yellow light happened so fast to my brain but how could a yellow talking light be blasphemy there is nothing in the Holy Bible about a yellow talking light.
Is confusing Jesus and Satan Blasphemy of The Holy Spirit everyone tells me that isn't blasphemy since it was mental illness but it feels so real to me. I take Lamatical and Latuda but I am still concerned. I feel so worried guys and gals that I can't go to Heaven for accidentally mixing up Jesus and Satan.
Why do I feel like I blasphemed the Holy Spirit? If mixing up Jesus and Satan isn't blasphemy and the yellow light being a dream/hallucination. Everyone tells me I have nothing to fear since the yellow light/cross wasn't truly real and that I bowed at nothing as it was a visual hallucination but why does it feel so real. Why do I see stuff on my knuckles and skin why am I so afraid that I got the Mark from a dream but everyone says that is impossible.
If my place is secured in Heaven why am I so worried about the Yellow Light/Blue Sphere in my brain if Satan can't possess a Christian why do I fear that he took over my brain and heart if it is impossible due to Romans 8 and Corinthians says you can only face temptations known to man why do I fear that I was supernaturally tempted if it is impossible.
Why am I so afraid that Jesus won't rapture me if what happened to me is impossible and if accidentally mixing up Jesus and Satan isn't Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit? I don't understand because the Pharisees truly hated Jesus and called him Satan and I simply had a dream in front of me and my brain told me to bow down and I got confused and repented of my sin.
Why do I fear I asked Jesus in my heart when I was four and I was baptized when I was eight and nothing can snatch you away from Jesus John 10 lays it out clearly why am I so worried that my dream is the exception Mom and Dad keep telling it is because I am mentally ill and everyone around me keeps telling me that the yellow light/cross was not blasphemy mixing up Jesus and Satan isn't blasphemy they tell me it was a dream/hallucination and that God doesn't hold people responsible for dreams.
There is nothing in the Holy Bible about a yellow light being Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit so why do I fear it isn't in the Bible it can't truly be real and it doesn't say the Mark of the Beast is a yellow light/cross so why do I fear about everything now mom and dad say it is just paranoid schizophrenia and they tell me I didn't blaspheme in the Yellow Light.
I just don't understand if the Yellow Light/Cross if it isn't real or blasphemy why do I fear if it is just mental illness. I still cry and my heart is still soft to things of Jesus and I still love Jesus I don't hate Jesus and if I was opposed to Jesus as his enemy or filled with Satan why do I still love Jesus and cry Mom and Dad might be right that it is just paranoid schizophrenia and not the Mark.
If I had the Mark I wouldn't care about Jesus if I was a False prophet/Antichrist so it truly must be a delusion with the blue sphere/yellow light. Why would I be excited about the rapture if I am going to miss it? Why do I still love Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit if I blasphemed? I don't understand it truly must be mental illness.
Wouldn't Jesus warn in the scriptures about the Mark being a Yellow Light/Cross if it was real that is my take on it and there is no warning. Therefore the Yellow Light couldn't have been the Mark of the Beast it truly must be in my head and brain. Wouldn't Jesus warn about talking crosses in the scriptures. Am I truly just a paranoid schizophrenic with a delusion how could the false prophet be mentally ill and run the world/antichrist.
Why does praise music still bring comfort, The Holy Bible brings comfort, and Church brings comfort, and Awana typically last night being the exception feeling overwhelmed by the eternal condemnation and feeling that I offended God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit in my dream/hallucination but everyone tells me it is just a dream and that God doesn't hold mentally ill people responsible for dreams/hallucinations.
I truly want to see God and be with him I want to be with Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit and I don't want to be left behind for an accident the thought terrifies to be left behind for one mistake in the shower and the door and none of my biblical teaching could prepare me for a yellow cross in the shower as a schizophrenic, pandas, autism, and OCD Scrupulosity.
Does God condemn mentally ill people for accidents is God really mad at me for confusing him with Satan in a hallucination would he angrily blot my name from the Lamb's Book of Life for an accident I couldn't control would he let Satan take over my Brain and Heart for an accident. When Jesus was tempted he was perfect and knew scriptures so great to avoid temptation but Satan was also there in the flesh and they talked it wasn't a hallucination/dream where I couldn't really talk back being frozen in fear. Adam and Eve ate a real apple not a yellow light.
Is God really going to base my eternal destination on mental illness. I would take everything I said back about God if I could I was scared that I mark and went crazy in prayer in psychosis and I fear that I offended God in my psychosis going off randomly balling about the Mark and thinking I had it makes me worried God gave it to me because I went crazy and I couldn't stop myself. I wish that I could take what I said back and I wish there was no yellow light/ bluelight.
Is God really going to hold a schizophrenic accountable and not rapture over psychosis it doesn't sound like God's, Jesus, Holy Spirit's character. My friends, family, and church keep telling me not to worry and that God will rapture me. They know how passionate I am about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit I truly love the Holy Trinity so much it bothers me that I fear I lost them in a dream/hallucination I had no chance to resist the devil since it was a dream/hallucination. I paused for a minute and keep going back what if I didn't bow was bowing the sin that angered God since it was idolatry and he knew I paused at the computer maybe the Holy Spirit was telling me something that moment flashes in my head what if God was going to send his angels around me if I succeeded like Jesus resisting Satan imagine how beautiful that would have been but my mental illness took over instead.
I just don't understand it though if God knew that I would fail why would he allow Satan to send the temptation my way and not protect with his hedge of protection. Is this all a story in my mind everyone around me tells me I didn't blaspheme and that it is a vocal sin with your mouth to blaspheme the Holy Spirit everyone keeps telling me it isn't a dream/hallucination.
I just don't know how to forgive myself for confusing Satan and Jesus as I feel unforgivable would Jesus really take his blood away from me for an accident would he take away his love from me for a mistake it was an accident confusing him with Satan and I wish that I could go back in time my heart wasn't to blaspheme it was out of worship I truly thought yellow light was Jesus showing up to me since I was praying to Jesus and my brain got tricked by confusion and mental illness.
My heart and brain still loves God but I feel out of my body and see stuff on my knuckles and give something to other people but it might be a hallucination same with my forehead and skin but I still care about God and I don't want to be a false prophet or antichrist everyone around me tells me I am not as I am mentally ill and don't have capabilities of ruling the world.
I just don't understand how a guy who was born and raised in a Christian family with a good christian support and friends and Christian School could make a mistake in a hallucination and worry about losing salvation in that hallucination and become Satan but everyone tells me that is just mental illness and they may be right due to John 10 nothing can snatch away Jesus doesn't talk about yellow lights everyone knows I love Jesus and would never blaspheme in my right mind.
Is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit mixing up Satan and Holy Spirit in a dream/hallucination is that blasphemy or mental illness. Is Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit verbal? What is Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit? If it isn't a dream or hallucination will Jesus still rapture me despite accidentally confusing Satan and Jesus everyone around me tells me he will because I love Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit and that I didn't mean to mix Jesus and Satan up.
Am I okay guys and gals with Jesus despite confusing him with Satan in a dream/hallucination is it just mental illness? I saw the psych doctor yesterday and they are upping my medicine but I worry medicine can't fix the spiritual aspect of confusion I still fear I lost my name from the Lamb's Book of Life for an accident out of my control.
I keep looping and fearing that I will miss the rapture for an accident out of my control. I truly love Jesus so much and my heart is breaking. I listen to praise music, the bible, and pastors, church and I don't hear anything about a yellow light/cross being the Mark it isn't in the Bible so how could I be held responsible for something not in the Holy Bible.
In the Psych Hospital I saw hell open up on the ceiling and I saw trees on fire and rings around Heaven and I was convinced to make a peace pact with Israel and saw the great tribulation on the ceiling unfold and saw all sorts of stuff appear but the people at the Hospital said it wasn't real and that there was no blue light on the floor and they gave me medicine and I mostly slept depressed that I offended God.
I have seen so much scary stuff that bothers me. I am so scared that I Blasphemed the Holy Spirit in a dream/hallucination. Everyone tells me that confusing Satan and Jesus isn't Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit but it feels so real to me could I have blasphemed in a dream/hallucination?
I am still so worried that I blasphemed in a dream/hallucination. Am I okay guys and gals is confusing Jesus and Satan blasphemy would that get your name erased from the Book of Life am I okay. I am so scared that I am going to miss Jesus for an accident out of mental illness. I am so scared and guilty and fearful that I mistaken Jesus and Satan. I am worried Jesus is mad at me.
Everyone tells me that Jesus isn't going to hold me eternally responsible for brief mental illness with schizophrenia with the light but I saw a blue sphere on the floor that told me otherwise but everyone tells me the blue sphere and yellow light wasn't real and that it wasn't really blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I keep getting told Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is verbal and a hard heart not a dream/hallucination.
I just can't figure it out why would God hold me responsible for a dream/hallucination. How could a dream/hallucination be blasphemy? The yellow light wasn't real and crosses don't talk to people I am just so worried that I can't get raptured for confusing Jesus and Satan in psychosis is confusing Jesus and Satan blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.
I am just so scared that I am going to spend eternity in hell for an accident out of my control. Everyone keeps telling me to focus on the character of God who is love would he send his child to hell for mental illness and blot his name from the Lamb's Book Of Life for an accident. I truly love God and the thought I hurt him breaks my heart.
Everyone tells me God isn't going to send me to hell for being mentally ill but it feels so real to me. In my right mind I would never hurt Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit but the yellow light happened so fast to my brain but how could a yellow talking light be blasphemy there is nothing in the Holy Bible about a yellow talking light.
Is confusing Jesus and Satan Blasphemy of The Holy Spirit everyone tells me that isn't blasphemy since it was mental illness but it feels so real to me. I take Lamatical and Latuda but I am still concerned. I feel so worried guys and gals that I can't go to Heaven for accidentally mixing up Jesus and Satan.
Why do I feel like I blasphemed the Holy Spirit? If mixing up Jesus and Satan isn't blasphemy and the yellow light being a dream/hallucination. Everyone tells me I have nothing to fear since the yellow light/cross wasn't truly real and that I bowed at nothing as it was a visual hallucination but why does it feel so real. Why do I see stuff on my knuckles and skin why am I so afraid that I got the Mark from a dream but everyone says that is impossible.
If my place is secured in Heaven why am I so worried about the Yellow Light/Blue Sphere in my brain if Satan can't possess a Christian why do I fear that he took over my brain and heart if it is impossible due to Romans 8 and Corinthians says you can only face temptations known to man why do I fear that I was supernaturally tempted if it is impossible.
Why am I so afraid that Jesus won't rapture me if what happened to me is impossible and if accidentally mixing up Jesus and Satan isn't Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit? I don't understand because the Pharisees truly hated Jesus and called him Satan and I simply had a dream in front of me and my brain told me to bow down and I got confused and repented of my sin.
Why do I fear I asked Jesus in my heart when I was four and I was baptized when I was eight and nothing can snatch you away from Jesus John 10 lays it out clearly why am I so worried that my dream is the exception Mom and Dad keep telling it is because I am mentally ill and everyone around me keeps telling me that the yellow light/cross was not blasphemy mixing up Jesus and Satan isn't blasphemy they tell me it was a dream/hallucination and that God doesn't hold people responsible for dreams.
There is nothing in the Holy Bible about a yellow light being Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit so why do I fear it isn't in the Bible it can't truly be real and it doesn't say the Mark of the Beast is a yellow light/cross so why do I fear about everything now mom and dad say it is just paranoid schizophrenia and they tell me I didn't blaspheme in the Yellow Light.
I just don't understand if the Yellow Light/Cross if it isn't real or blasphemy why do I fear if it is just mental illness. I still cry and my heart is still soft to things of Jesus and I still love Jesus I don't hate Jesus and if I was opposed to Jesus as his enemy or filled with Satan why do I still love Jesus and cry Mom and Dad might be right that it is just paranoid schizophrenia and not the Mark.
If I had the Mark I wouldn't care about Jesus if I was a False prophet/Antichrist so it truly must be a delusion with the blue sphere/yellow light. Why would I be excited about the rapture if I am going to miss it? Why do I still love Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit if I blasphemed? I don't understand it truly must be mental illness.
Wouldn't Jesus warn in the scriptures about the Mark being a Yellow Light/Cross if it was real that is my take on it and there is no warning. Therefore the Yellow Light couldn't have been the Mark of the Beast it truly must be in my head and brain. Wouldn't Jesus warn about talking crosses in the scriptures. Am I truly just a paranoid schizophrenic with a delusion how could the false prophet be mentally ill and run the world/antichrist.
Why does praise music still bring comfort, The Holy Bible brings comfort, and Church brings comfort, and Awana typically last night being the exception feeling overwhelmed by the eternal condemnation and feeling that I offended God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit in my dream/hallucination but everyone tells me it is just a dream and that God doesn't hold mentally ill people responsible for dreams/hallucinations.
I truly want to see God and be with him I want to be with Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit and I don't want to be left behind for an accident the thought terrifies to be left behind for one mistake in the shower and the door and none of my biblical teaching could prepare me for a yellow cross in the shower as a schizophrenic, pandas, autism, and OCD Scrupulosity.
Does God condemn mentally ill people for accidents is God really mad at me for confusing him with Satan in a hallucination would he angrily blot my name from the Lamb's Book of Life for an accident I couldn't control would he let Satan take over my Brain and Heart for an accident. When Jesus was tempted he was perfect and knew scriptures so great to avoid temptation but Satan was also there in the flesh and they talked it wasn't a hallucination/dream where I couldn't really talk back being frozen in fear. Adam and Eve ate a real apple not a yellow light.
Is God really going to base my eternal destination on mental illness. I would take everything I said back about God if I could I was scared that I mark and went crazy in prayer in psychosis and I fear that I offended God in my psychosis going off randomly balling about the Mark and thinking I had it makes me worried God gave it to me because I went crazy and I couldn't stop myself. I wish that I could take what I said back and I wish there was no yellow light/ bluelight.
Is God really going to hold a schizophrenic accountable and not rapture over psychosis it doesn't sound like God's, Jesus, Holy Spirit's character. My friends, family, and church keep telling me not to worry and that God will rapture me. They know how passionate I am about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit I truly love the Holy Trinity so much it bothers me that I fear I lost them in a dream/hallucination I had no chance to resist the devil since it was a dream/hallucination. I paused for a minute and keep going back what if I didn't bow was bowing the sin that angered God since it was idolatry and he knew I paused at the computer maybe the Holy Spirit was telling me something that moment flashes in my head what if God was going to send his angels around me if I succeeded like Jesus resisting Satan imagine how beautiful that would have been but my mental illness took over instead.
I just don't understand it though if God knew that I would fail why would he allow Satan to send the temptation my way and not protect with his hedge of protection. Is this all a story in my mind everyone around me tells me I didn't blaspheme and that it is a vocal sin with your mouth to blaspheme the Holy Spirit everyone keeps telling me it isn't a dream/hallucination.
I just don't know how to forgive myself for confusing Satan and Jesus as I feel unforgivable would Jesus really take his blood away from me for an accident would he take away his love from me for a mistake it was an accident confusing him with Satan and I wish that I could go back in time my heart wasn't to blaspheme it was out of worship I truly thought yellow light was Jesus showing up to me since I was praying to Jesus and my brain got tricked by confusion and mental illness.
My heart and brain still loves God but I feel out of my body and see stuff on my knuckles and give something to other people but it might be a hallucination same with my forehead and skin but I still care about God and I don't want to be a false prophet or antichrist everyone around me tells me I am not as I am mentally ill and don't have capabilities of ruling the world.
I just don't understand how a guy who was born and raised in a Christian family with a good christian support and friends and Christian School could make a mistake in a hallucination and worry about losing salvation in that hallucination and become Satan but everyone tells me that is just mental illness and they may be right due to John 10 nothing can snatch away Jesus doesn't talk about yellow lights everyone knows I love Jesus and would never blaspheme in my right mind.
Is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit mixing up Satan and Holy Spirit in a dream/hallucination is that blasphemy or mental illness. Is Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit verbal? What is Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit? If it isn't a dream or hallucination will Jesus still rapture me despite accidentally confusing Satan and Jesus everyone around me tells me he will because I love Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit and that I didn't mean to mix Jesus and Satan up.
Am I okay guys and gals with Jesus despite confusing him with Satan in a dream/hallucination is it just mental illness? I saw the psych doctor yesterday and they are upping my medicine but I worry medicine can't fix the spiritual aspect of confusion I still fear I lost my name from the Lamb's Book of Life for an accident out of my control.
I keep looping and fearing that I will miss the rapture for an accident out of my control. I truly love Jesus so much and my heart is breaking. I listen to praise music, the bible, and pastors, church and I don't hear anything about a yellow light/cross being the Mark it isn't in the Bible so how could I be held responsible for something not in the Holy Bible.
In the Psych Hospital I saw hell open up on the ceiling and I saw trees on fire and rings around Heaven and I was convinced to make a peace pact with Israel and saw the great tribulation on the ceiling unfold and saw all sorts of stuff appear but the people at the Hospital said it wasn't real and that there was no blue light on the floor and they gave me medicine and I mostly slept depressed that I offended God.
I have seen so much scary stuff that bothers me. I am so scared that I Blasphemed the Holy Spirit in a dream/hallucination. Everyone tells me that confusing Satan and Jesus isn't Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit but it feels so real to me could I have blasphemed in a dream/hallucination?
I am still so worried that I blasphemed in a dream/hallucination. Am I okay guys and gals is confusing Jesus and Satan blasphemy would that get your name erased from the Book of Life am I okay. I am so scared that I am going to miss Jesus for an accident out of mental illness. I am so scared and guilty and fearful that I mistaken Jesus and Satan. I am worried Jesus is mad at me.
Yes
Completely correct.
