People my age don't seem to like me

theoneandonlypencil said:

Okay, so I'm going to give a quick into to myself so y'all will know where I'm coming from.

For one, I'm 19 years old. Fresh out of high school since this June, I just started working at my first job at the deli in my local grocery store. I was homeschooled my entire life, and the majority of interactions I had with other kids was online(except for my cousin...but I got tired of being around her as a kid very quickly because she didn't like anything I liked, so we always just did whatever she wanted to do)

Now, here's the thing; now that I'm 'out in the real world' so to speak, I'm...actually not awkward at all, surprisingly. I try to be well-mannered, I'm polite to everyone and very open/talkative. I also really like to joke around and am the type to act as if I've known you for years even if I've known you for a very tiny amount of time. No shy body language, always making eye contact and giving people my undivided attention when they speak. In short; I'm the kind of person to be in a room full of strangers, and am usually the first one to walk up and start a conversation(when it's appropriate, of course).

So I go to this Lutheran church I really love, and most of it happens to be older folk. All of them seem to REALLY really like me and are always saying stuff like 'you're such a blessing to the church' or 'she's so nice to everyone', etc. No problems there--from a young age, I got along extremely well with adults and found it easier to talk to them than other people my age. Problem is, the few young people that are there(and that I meet outside of church sometimes)just don't seem to have any interest in talking to me. Like, I'll try to start conversation and will ask them questions so they'll talk about themselves or talk about some stuff I like, and they're kind of...short with me? And don't seem to want to talk. This is how it is with almost everyone I meet that's around my age. I even asked for the social media info of a few girls close to my age, and none of them seem very interested in getting to know me sadly.

Another case that bothers me is my pastor's sons. I try to be really friendly towards them--one's 15 turning 16 soon and the other is 18--and I joke around with them often during our 'off' time in the teens' Sunday school class. I even have approached them before outside of Sunday school and both seem especially disinterested in talking to me? My parents said it might be because I come off as too dominant/extroverted, and maybe that's true I dunno. If it is, it's probably because I try to be more like 'one of the guys' around dudes because I'm a stern believer that you can only get so friendly with the opposite sex until it becomes a breeding ground for problems.

Anyways, I dunno. It just sucks because I've been trying very hard to make friends IRL and I thought it'd be easier than this. I did manage to get a potential coffee date with a female semi-friend at church who I talked to today. She's the only one who's expressed an interest in being friends with me so far, so hopefully, that goes well?

Any advice is appreciated.

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Your problem, which is really not a problem at all is that you are acting and speak like an adult. Because as a homeschooler your peers were adults. And they, because their peers have been other kids act and speak like kids.

Now I’m sure your parents would just as soon you kept that advantage in life that they gave you. It’s a big head start on the social skills necessary to succeed in life, and serve the Lord. But if you hang out with kids you’ll slow down and they will sort of catch up to you.

I watched all six of my homeschooled kids do this. Once they started hanging out with people their own age. They sort of regressed and adopted the ways of young people rather than the ways of adults. To a degree anyway.

So the people your age can’t really figure you out right now. I think you need to recognize the advantage you have socially and use it. But no one has a gun to your back forcing you to go that route. You can slow down if that is what you want; to have a bunch of friends your age right now. You will adjust somewhat to their way of thinking.

Is the issue homeschooling or being 19? This person's posts in the threads have always been more mature and wise than most.

And she is right..unlike the past people today are more defensive and standoffish than they've ever been. No doubt the increased division within the country has played a large part. Try smiling at or striking up a simple conversation in some big box store or anywhere. Ghosted. And if your political nature is showing it is even worse.

theoneandonlypencil said:

Wow, I never expected so many replies. Thank you all for your input<3


Anyways, what I'm getting is that I should just be patient. Which...I mean, fair enough lol. That's what I thought, but I suppose I wanted to get some outside advice since while I'd like to think I'm very self-aware and can look at myself critically, it really helps to have outside opinions to help me see the bigger picture. I'll just go on being friendly as usual, and will probably spare the pastor's kids of my banter for a while LOL.

In any case, I would also like to say that in regards to Go Braves' replies, I really appreciate the advice but I think I come from a slightly different situation. I was homeschooled for my entire life, I never was in public school once all the way until graduation; from what I hear, it's very different than being partially homeschooled and THEN going to a public school. Kids who go through that seem to get the 'short end of the stick'.

As I said, I also genuinely have no problems interacting with people normally. I can keep up with conversations with adults easy-peasy, even if I don't necessarily know much about the subject. I began to get along with my co-workers at my new workplace(my first job)really well recently and even though I haven't even been there a full week yet, we've already got some inside jokes and enjoy banter/chatting about life/etc. All of them are 30+ in age, tho.

I guess the problem that I have with people my own age isn't that I don't know how to talk to them--it's that they seemingly don't enjoy interacting with me. I try the basics 'how are you/what are your interests/where are you from/etc' or bringing up stuff to start convos, and a lot of them just don't seem to know how to respond almost. That, and it seems like my peers and I are on totally different planets in regard to our interests.

Recently, I even began finding it hard to interact with people online. I feel like I've hit the stage where I'm realizing how immature people are these days and how a lot of them just want to talk and not listen; which really sucks. I've been used as an emotional crutch more than a few times :/ Everyone seems to be here for a 'good time' and not a 'long time'--and I've grown past finding that kind of thing entertaining tbh.

And to answer the question of whether or not I'm going to college at the moment; Np. I plan on getting married to my boyfriend first next year(I'm honestly ready to settle down with someone and want to spend these crucial years developing WITH someone, not by myself) and then attending college to get a bachelor's degree in computer science so I can be an at-home software developer. I really enjoy the challenges of programming, plus the median salary is very good and will ensure that--if both of us are working--we can live without struggling and provide the best life for our future kiddos; as long as we are wise with our money and savings.

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This is totally intuitive but, given that you're posting on a Christian website, the standard of your English and your level-headed and rational replies, you strike me as a little precocious. It sounds as though your parents were keen to give you the best start in life, and you have perhaps been raised with decent, old-fashioned values. That's not a bad thing at all.

Unfortunately, I think a lot of your generation haven't been so fortunate. Many have had two working parents (as I had), have witnessed divorce and have been inculcated with contemporary values which are moronic and anti-social. Just look at the growing prevalence of mental health problems!

I may be totally wrong about you, but the impression I have is that you are actually very lucky. I'm sure you will find people with common interests and forge meaningful friendships.

@theoneandonlypencil, Let others like the true you, not what you think they may like. If you try to fit in, then you are changing yourself from your true you to something that is not true or authentic. When a person is not authentic, most others can sense this and get a feeling that something is wrong or fake, about the person.

Trust what your parents say about you, since they may know you better than anybody else, even yourself. In this case, instead of being needing to dominate and be extroverted, have faith that you really are okay, and don't need to be needing or wanting anything. The humble and meek 'know' they are okay in Christ; that is why they are not needing to be validated through domination and extroverted (showy).

Have faith in Christ and remain calm, soft and gentle (humble and meek). God's grace is sufficient for anybody if they surrender to what they 'know' is true within them.

theoneandonlypencil said:

Okay, so I'm going to give a quick into to myself so y'all will know where I'm coming from.

For one, I'm 19 years old. Fresh out of high school since this June, I just started working at my first job at the deli in my local grocery store. I was homeschooled my entire life, and the majority of interactions I had with other kids was online(except for my cousin...but I got tired of being around her as a kid very quickly because she didn't like anything I liked, so we always just did whatever she wanted to do)

Now, here's the thing; now that I'm 'out in the real world' so to speak, I'm...actually not awkward at all, surprisingly. I try to be well-mannered, I'm polite to everyone and very open/talkative. I also really like to joke around and am the type to act as if I've known you for years even if I've known you for a very tiny amount of time. No shy body language, always making eye contact and giving people my undivided attention when they speak. In short; I'm the kind of person to be in a room full of strangers, and am usually the first one to walk up and start a conversation(when it's appropriate, of course).

So I go to this Lutheran church I really love, and most of it happens to be older folk. All of them seem to REALLY really like me and are always saying stuff like 'you're such a blessing to the church' or 'she's so nice to everyone', etc. No problems there--from a young age, I got along extremely well with adults and found it easier to talk to them than other people my age. Problem is, the few young people that are there(and that I meet outside of church sometimes)just don't seem to have any interest in talking to me. Like, I'll try to start conversation and will ask them questions so they'll talk about themselves or talk about some stuff I like, and they're kind of...short with me? And don't seem to want to talk. This is how it is with almost everyone I meet that's around my age. I even asked for the social media info of a few girls close to my age, and none of them seem very interested in getting to know me sadly.

Another case that bothers me is my pastor's sons. I try to be really friendly towards them--one's 15 turning 16 soon and the other is 18--and I joke around with them often during our 'off' time in the teens' Sunday school class. I even have approached them before outside of Sunday school and both seem especially disinterested in talking to me? My parents said it might be because I come off as too dominant/extroverted, and maybe that's true I dunno. If it is, it's probably because I try to be more like 'one of the guys' around dudes because I'm a stern believer that you can only get so friendly with the opposite sex until it becomes a breeding ground for problems.

Anyways, I dunno. It just sucks because I've been trying very hard to make friends IRL and I thought it'd be easier than this. I did manage to get a potential coffee date with a female semi-friend at church who I talked to today. She's the only one who's expressed an interest in being friends with me so far, so hopefully, that goes well?

Any advice is appreciated.

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Have you ever winced because of the intensity of the sun glaring into your eyes?

It's lovely to have a bright, sunshine personality but you need to calibrate your rays. Think of how the sun can be dazzling and beautiful, and feel warm, comforting, relaxing, its rays a sweetness upon your skin, and a delicious gift of life. Or so blazingly intense it swelters and makes you want to scamper off to the serenity of the shade. Obviously with the actual sun we adjust to it rather than the other way around, but with a sunshine in your heart you are the one who decides when it will shine and whether it will be gentle beams that cast a soft and kind glow, or the sort of intensity that is uncomfortable.

My guess, and it could be mistaken, is that you feel very lonely, and your eagerness to be liked and befriend others causes you to overcompensate in a way that feels too much. The sunshine in the eyes effect. Your vivid, extroverted approach works well in social settings where you're meeting strangers; it's like you are the icebreaker. The sort of geniality can also work really well in settings where you're interfacing with customers. You could be the one person who has smiled at the customer that day. But those contexts are ones designed to be brief and more superficial in nature, where you're exchanging pleasantries and anecdotes and not really forming bonds. When you're with people you already know, such as at church, you want to dial yourself to a different setting and try to be more relaxed. Don't run through your checklist of making eye contact, giving undivided attention, or over-extending yourself. Simply smile, say hi, ask how they're doing.

Bear in mind that you can be friendly without an expectation of forming a friendship. There's sort of this dividing line once you graduate from high school and start college, and you're one side of it and your pastor's sons are one the other. It's not even an age-specific thing, necessarily. I graduated from high school really young so I was already in college when absolutely everyone else my age at my church youth was still in HS, and yet since I'd graduated it was sort of like I was seen as this old timer creeping in, haha. You really need to move on towards a college group. I am friends with HS boys still but they're ones I made through my brother who is just a year younger but we're spaced grades apart. I wouldn't attempt to befriend boys at church, not because it's inappropriate with such a small sliver of age differences, but because we're now in different chapters of our lives. It could be that your pastors sons don't dislike you, but simply don't view you as a peer.

^ The post above was originally such a long wall of text it made the Great Wall of China look modest in size, because it's very late atm, and when I'm tired my brain completely loses the ability for succinctness. So I'm breaking it into two smaller walls instead of one huge one, haha.

I think GoBraves actually gave you percipient and caring feedback based on what you actually wrote rather than homeschooling in general or our age, but it unfortunately got misconstrued by others who then wanted to impose their experiences with homeschooling onto it. From what you've described the main issue is that you simply haven't had practice socializing on a routine, daily basis with others your own age who are outside of your own family and environment. He's correct that this is not unusual with those who've been homeschooled to interact primarily with other kids online rather than face-to-face, as you explained was the case for you. I also have friends who are homeschooled who could have written parts of your OP verbatim despite not knowing you. He and I are both college students your age, so I think we can give fairly accurate insight on how the disconnect you've detailed isn't due just to age, but rather differing lifestyle experiences. When you attend school you do gain a set of social skills that enable you to interact more naturally with others your own age, which in turns makes forming friendships more organic. It's sort of an osmosis.

I write more formally because I went to an online HS for a while (long story on why) and it just altered how I communicate via written word, forming habits. I joined here super young and there were people who thought I was like 40 because of how I wrote, haha. But still when I speak I naturally glide into sounding like my friends when I'm with them, or in a way that's otherwise fitting for the context. I also self-adjust when I'm on social media, just switching gears without even realizing it really, because I'm still talking with my friends, just with my fingers typing instead of my lips speaking. Perhaps it's similar with you, where if you were used to communicating in one way for school, but you don't have as much practice interacting online with people who are actually your own friends, so then it just comes across as stilted? I like your post here, so I'm not critiquing it; I'm just making a conjecture.

What I think could be helpful for you is to actively seek to gain practice socializing with others close in age now. Idk where you live, but perhaps you should check to see if there are any local MeetUps for people your age. Many are centered around activities, like hiking, biking, learning a foreign language, but some are just get-togethers for dinner. One of my friends who was homeschooled in a fairly hermetic environment, never really engaging on a routine, prolonged basis with others outside of her own family or church built up a fulfilling social life on her own through reaching out to join activities in the community. She started playing beach volleyball, and befriended people through it, who in turn introduced her to more friends. Maybe you could find something of interest.

theoneandonlypencil said:

Okay, so I'm going to give a quick into to myself so y'all will know where I'm coming from.

For one, I'm 19 years old. Fresh out of high school since this June, I just started working at my first job at the deli in my local grocery store. I was homeschooled my entire life, and the majority of interactions I had with other kids was online(except for my cousin...but I got tired of being around her as a kid very quickly because she didn't like anything I liked, so we always just did whatever she wanted to do)

Now, here's the thing; now that I'm 'out in the real world' so to speak, I'm...actually not awkward at all, surprisingly. I try to be well-mannered, I'm polite to everyone and very open/talkative. I also really like to joke around and am the type to act as if I've known you for years even if I've known you for a very tiny amount of time. No shy body language, always making eye contact and giving people my undivided attention when they speak. In short; I'm the kind of person to be in a room full of strangers, and am usually the first one to walk up and start a conversation(when it's appropriate, of course).

So I go to this Lutheran church I really love, and most of it happens to be older folk. All of them seem to REALLY really like me and are always saying stuff like 'you're such a blessing to the church' or 'she's so nice to everyone', etc. No problems there--from a young age, I got along extremely well with adults and found it easier to talk to them than other people my age. Problem is, the few young people that are there(and that I meet outside of church sometimes)just don't seem to have any interest in talking to me. Like, I'll try to start conversation and will ask them questions so they'll talk about themselves or talk about some stuff I like, and they're kind of...short with me? And don't seem to want to talk. This is how it is with almost everyone I meet that's around my age. I even asked for the social media info of a few girls close to my age, and none of them seem very interested in getting to know me sadly.

Another case that bothers me is my pastor's sons. I try to be really friendly towards them--one's 15 turning 16 soon and the other is 18--and I joke around with them often during our 'off' time in the teens' Sunday school class. I even have approached them before outside of Sunday school and both seem especially disinterested in talking to me? My parents said it might be because I come off as too dominant/extroverted, and maybe that's true I dunno. If it is, it's probably because I try to be more like 'one of the guys' around dudes because I'm a stern believer that you can only get so friendly with the opposite sex until it becomes a breeding ground for problems.

Anyways, I dunno. It just sucks because I've been trying very hard to make friends IRL and I thought it'd be easier than this. I did manage to get a potential coffee date with a female semi-friend at church who I talked to today. She's the only one who's expressed an interest in being friends with me so far, so hopefully, that goes well?

Any advice is appreciated.

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I used to think friends were the most important thing in life. But you have to sell your soul and stunt your growth to keep them. You need only one good friend, a Christian spouse, and then keep everyone else at arms length. Like business acquaintances.

theoneandonlypencil said:

Okay, so I'm going to give a quick into to myself so y'all will know where I'm coming from.

For one, I'm 19 years old. Fresh out of high school since this June, I just started working at my first job at the deli in my local grocery store. I was homeschooled my entire life, and the majority of interactions I had with other kids was online(except for my cousin...but I got tired of being around her as a kid very quickly because she didn't like anything I liked, so we always just did whatever she wanted to do)

Now, here's the thing; now that I'm 'out in the real world' so to speak, I'm...actually not awkward at all, surprisingly. I try to be well-mannered, I'm polite to everyone and very open/talkative. I also really like to joke around and am the type to act as if I've known you for years even if I've known you for a very tiny amount of time. No shy body language, always making eye contact and giving people my undivided attention when they speak. In short; I'm the kind of person to be in a room full of strangers, and am usually the first one to walk up and start a conversation(when it's appropriate, of course).

So I go to this Lutheran church I really love, and most of it happens to be older folk. All of them seem to REALLY really like me and are always saying stuff like 'you're such a blessing to the church' or 'she's so nice to everyone', etc. No problems there--from a young age, I got along extremely well with adults and found it easier to talk to them than other people my age. Problem is, the few young people that are there(and that I meet outside of church sometimes)just don't seem to have any interest in talking to me. Like, I'll try to start conversation and will ask them questions so they'll talk about themselves or talk about some stuff I like, and they're kind of...short with me? And don't seem to want to talk. This is how it is with almost everyone I meet that's around my age. I even asked for the social media info of a few girls close to my age, and none of them seem very interested in getting to know me sadly.

Another case that bothers me is my pastor's sons. I try to be really friendly towards them--one's 15 turning 16 soon and the other is 18--and I joke around with them often during our 'off' time in the teens' Sunday school class. I even have approached them before outside of Sunday school and both seem especially disinterested in talking to me? My parents said it might be because I come off as too dominant/extroverted, and maybe that's true I dunno. If it is, it's probably because I try to be more like 'one of the guys' around dudes because I'm a stern believer that you can only get so friendly with the opposite sex until it becomes a breeding ground for problems.

Anyways, I dunno. It just sucks because I've been trying very hard to make friends IRL and I thought it'd be easier than this. I did manage to get a potential coffee date with a female semi-friend at church who I talked to today. She's the only one who's expressed an interest in being friends with me so far, so hopefully, that goes well?

Any advice is appreciated.

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You're an adult now, it's time for you to think as an adult rather than a child. In the adult world, age has limited meaning. Adults view people within a wide range of ages as contemporaries. At 40 I viewed those in their 30s and 40s as contemporaries. At your age you should be thinking of anyone from 16-29 as a contemporary. That a handful of people who are 18 or 19 don't care for you shouldn't matter. Make friends with older people, you'll learn more from them in the long run.

theoneandonlypencil said:

Wow, I never expected so many replies. Thank you all for your input<3


Anyways, what I'm getting is that I should just be patient. Which...I mean, fair enough lol. That's what I thought, but I suppose I wanted to get some outside advice since while I'd like to think I'm very self-aware and can look at myself critically, it really helps to have outside opinions to help me see the bigger picture. I'll just go on being friendly as usual, and will probably spare the pastor's kids of my banter for a while LOL.

In any case, I would also like to say that in regards to Go Braves' replies, I really appreciate the advice but I think I come from a slightly different situation. I was homeschooled for my entire life, I never was in public school once all the way until graduation; from what I hear, it's very different than being partially homeschooled and THEN going to a public school. Kids who go through that seem to get the 'short end of the stick'.

As I said, I also genuinely have no problems interacting with people normally. I can keep up with conversations with adults easy-peasy, even if I don't necessarily know much about the subject. I began to get along with my co-workers at my new workplace(my first job)really well recently and even though I haven't even been there a full week yet, we've already got some inside jokes and enjoy banter/chatting about life/etc. All of them are 30+ in age, tho.

I guess the problem that I have with people my own age isn't that I don't know how to talk to them--it's that they seemingly don't enjoy interacting with me. I try the basics 'how are you/what are your interests/where are you from/etc' or bringing up stuff to start convos, and a lot of them just don't seem to know how to respond almost. That, and it seems like my peers and I are on totally different planets in regard to our interests.

Recently, I even began finding it hard to interact with people online. I feel like I've hit the stage where I'm realizing how immature people are these days and how a lot of them just want to talk and not listen; which really sucks. I've been used as an emotional crutch more than a few times :/ Everyone seems to be here for a 'good time' and not a 'long time'--and I've grown past finding that kind of thing entertaining tbh.

And to answer the question of whether or not I'm going to college at the moment; Np. I plan on getting married to my boyfriend first next year(I'm honestly ready to settle down with someone and want to spend these crucial years developing WITH someone, not by myself) and then attending college to get a bachelor's degree in computer science so I can be an at-home software developer. I really enjoy the challenges of programming, plus the median salary is very good and will ensure that--if both of us are working--we can live without struggling and provide the best life for our future kiddos; as long as we are wise with our money and savings.

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I actually recommend taking classes while you're still single, for a couple of of reasons:

1) I think joining a campus ministry would do a lot to help you with your socialization challenges with people your age. Lots of people 18-22 are still socially awkward (whether they're outgoing or not), and the campus ministry I was associated with was a relatively safe environment to better learn how to interact with people. Given your major as well, it will probably be the best place to meet young women your age as well, since computer-related majors tend to be male-dominated. They are however, geared towards single people. Also, no time like the present to get involved, since a 20 year old freshman is more of a gap than a 19 year old freshman. It ultimately doesn't matter once you ease in, but you might feel the difference a bit more when you're both older than the other freshmen and especially if you're already married.

2) Taking classes will change you in ways that you don't expect. That's a big reason why marraiges that begin at a young age don't make it. When you marry, I want you guys to make it, and I want it to be happy for you.

theoneandonlypencil said:

Okay, so I'm going to give a quick into to myself so y'all will know where I'm coming from.

For one, I'm 19 years old. Fresh out of high school since this June, I just started working at my first job at the deli in my local grocery store. I was homeschooled my entire life, and the majority of interactions I had with other kids was online(except for my cousin...but I got tired of being around her as a kid very quickly because she didn't like anything I liked, so we always just did whatever she wanted to do)

Now, here's the thing; now that I'm 'out in the real world' so to speak, I'm...actually not awkward at all, surprisingly. I try to be well-mannered, I'm polite to everyone and very open/talkative. I also really like to joke around and am the type to act as if I've known you for years even if I've known you for a very tiny amount of time. No shy body language, always making eye contact and giving people my undivided attention when they speak. In short; I'm the kind of person to be in a room full of strangers, and am usually the first one to walk up and start a conversation(when it's appropriate, of course).

So I go to this Lutheran church I really love, and most of it happens to be older folk. All of them seem to REALLY really like me and are always saying stuff like 'you're such a blessing to the church' or 'she's so nice to everyone', etc. No problems there--from a young age, I got along extremely well with adults and found it easier to talk to them than other people my age. Problem is, the few young people that are there(and that I meet outside of church sometimes)just don't seem to have any interest in talking to me. Like, I'll try to start conversation and will ask them questions so they'll talk about themselves or talk about some stuff I like, and they're kind of...short with me? And don't seem to want to talk. This is how it is with almost everyone I meet that's around my age. I even asked for the social media info of a few girls close to my age, and none of them seem very interested in getting to know me sadly.

Another case that bothers me is my pastor's sons. I try to be really friendly towards them--one's 15 turning 16 soon and the other is 18--and I joke around with them often during our 'off' time in the teens' Sunday school class. I even have approached them before outside of Sunday school and both seem especially disinterested in talking to me? My parents said it might be because I come off as too dominant/extroverted, and maybe that's true I dunno. If it is, it's probably because I try to be more like 'one of the guys' around dudes because I'm a stern believer that you can only get so friendly with the opposite sex until it becomes a breeding ground for problems.

Anyways, I dunno. It just sucks because I've been trying very hard to make friends IRL and I thought it'd be easier than this. I did manage to get a potential coffee date with a female semi-friend at church who I talked to today. She's the only one who's expressed an interest in being friends with me so far, so hopefully, that goes well?

Any advice is appreciated.

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When my son became a christian, he had no christian friends. He asked God for some and he said within a few months he had some.

theoneandonlypencil said:

Okay, so I'm going to give a quick into to myself so y'all will know where I'm coming from.

For one, I'm 19 years old. Fresh out of high school since this June, I just started working at my first job at the deli in my local grocery store. I was homeschooled my entire life, and the majority of interactions I had with other kids was online(except for my cousin...but I got tired of being around her as a kid very quickly because she didn't like anything I liked, so we always just did whatever she wanted to do)

Now, here's the thing; now that I'm 'out in the real world' so to speak, I'm...actually not awkward at all, surprisingly. I try to be well-mannered, I'm polite to everyone and very open/talkative. I also really like to joke around and am the type to act as if I've known you for years even if I've known you for a very tiny amount of time. No shy body language, always making eye contact and giving people my undivided attention when they speak. In short; I'm the kind of person to be in a room full of strangers, and am usually the first one to walk up and start a conversation(when it's appropriate, of course).

So I go to this Lutheran church I really love, and most of it happens to be older folk. All of them seem to REALLY really like me and are always saying stuff like 'you're such a blessing to the church' or 'she's so nice to everyone', etc. No problems there--from a young age, I got along extremely well with adults and found it easier to talk to them than other people my age. Problem is, the few young people that are there(and that I meet outside of church sometimes)just don't seem to have any interest in talking to me. Like, I'll try to start conversation and will ask them questions so they'll talk about themselves or talk about some stuff I like, and they're kind of...short with me? And don't seem to want to talk. This is how it is with almost everyone I meet that's around my age. I even asked for the social media info of a few girls close to my age, and none of them seem very interested in getting to know me sadly.

Another case that bothers me is my pastor's sons. I try to be really friendly towards them--one's 15 turning 16 soon and the other is 18--and I joke around with them often during our 'off' time in the teens' Sunday school class. I even have approached them before outside of Sunday school and both seem especially disinterested in talking to me? My parents said it might be because I come off as too dominant/extroverted, and maybe that's true I dunno. If it is, it's probably because I try to be more like 'one of the guys' around dudes because I'm a stern believer that you can only get so friendly with the opposite sex until it becomes a breeding ground for problems.

Anyways, I dunno. It just sucks because I've been trying very hard to make friends IRL and I thought it'd be easier than this. I did manage to get a potential coffee date with a female semi-friend at church who I talked to today. She's the only one who's expressed an interest in being friends with me so far, so hopefully, that goes well?

Any advice is appreciated.

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Just don't leave the church like I did. Try joining a club or sport in which you can be a team player and ur sure to be...well...A member of the team

theoneandonlypencil said:

Any advice is appreciated.

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How about instead of just being you, be a vessel through whom Christ communicates himself to others? You seem very focused on who you are and how people are receiving you, but, really, God is much more concerned that when people encounter you, they encounter Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:20
20 Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ...

Romans 8:29
29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son...

Galatians 2:20
20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

God's aim is to make you more like Jesus, not more like yourself. And the more you are like Christ, the more attractive you'll be to others and in the very best way.

theoneandonlypencil said:

majority of interactions I had with other kids was online(except for my cousin...but I got tired of being around her as a kid very quickly because she didn't like anything I liked, so we always just did whatever she wanted to do)

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what do YOU like to do?
since your cousin didn't like to do what you wanted to do

I liked to roller skate when younger & made friends there
is there a rink where you live?