Christian form of "not interested"?

Elliewaves

Untouchable internet saint
Dec 18, 2011
2,144
2,056
✟100,678.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Engaged
I asked her out, but she said that she's not dating, has no boyfriend, and she feels they are a "distraction." That she had chosen God over anything romantic.
I think there is your answer there; she did tell you she wasn't interested in anything romantic and is not seeking that out. But I do think it was a good thing if you were interested to ask her out; I think more people should be direct and specific in finding a partner when they meet someone interesting. Now you know and are able to move on.
 
Upvote 0

bèlla

❤️
Site Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
20,539
17,693
USA
✟952,981.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship
Yeah, I kind of relate to the girl
I'm not ready yet, but at the same time, if the right guys comes (same yoke + Godly:servant's heart) then maybe I could give that person a shot.

spiritualchristian,

I think part of relating to others is respecting differences and boundaries. If you’re attracted to someone who conducts their affairs differently that doesn’t make them odd or wrong. No two convictions are the same.

People gauge “right” in many ways. For some its prayer, a hunch, interactions, or a combination of all three.

~Bella
 
Upvote 0

Sketcher

Born Imperishable
Feb 23, 2004
38,984
9,401
✟380,259.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
A woman I had met recently at a Meetup event I had an interest in. She was a single Christian...well....Messianic Jew which is Jews for Jesus type of faith. In this area, it's a very small section of the community.

She claimed not to be Christian, but if it's a Jewish person that believes that Jesus is the Messiah, it's all the same to me. When I say Good morning to her, her responses are always, Shabbat Shalom and such. Her dialogue is always religious rhetoric....even in small talk sometimes.

I thought to myself, "Who talks like this?" Don't mean to sound blasphemous, just saying...

But that's not my point.

I asked her out, but she said that she's not dating, has no boyfriend, and she feels they are a "distraction." That she had chosen God over anything romantic. I told her it's hard to find a Christian or just a woman of God in these parts (smaller towns) that aren't married. SHe's new to the area, and figured I had a chance at going out with her.

She said I could come to her synagogue, but no date.

She then said: "For now, in front of me today in this season... I don’t see it. Why don’t you ask God if it’s Him urging you to ask me? Ask God to give me a sign..."

I never really had to ask God to ask a woman out, and I think I had mentioned this as a topic in the past or as part of a conversation here...where simply asking someone to lunch or to grab a bite is a major life altering, Godly experience that needs to be prayed about.

I tend to wonder if this is the Christian version, "Not interested" or some kind of form of rejection in the form of religious dialogue?

I also wanted to ask, does it make me any less Godly that I don't see the logic in this?
You seem to be asking if it's "not interested" or "not interested." Either way, the answer is yes. She's not interested.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Thera
Upvote 0

ReesePiece23

The Peanut Buttery Member.
Sep 17, 2013
5,796
5,265
33
✟288,577.00
Faith
Christian
Her interests are way beyond the realms of this world. She sounds so focused on what she wants that she probably doesn't even remember you asking her out.

Go after what she's chasing - you'll be far better off and NOT distracted either.
 
Upvote 0

bèlla

❤️
Site Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
20,539
17,693
USA
✟952,981.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship
Her interests are way beyond the realms of this world. She sounds so focused on what she wants that she probably doesn't even remember you asking her out.

Go after what she's chasing - you'll be far better off and NOT distracted either.

Excellent reminder!

~Bella
 
Upvote 0

ThisIsMe123

This And That
Mar 13, 2017
2,828
1,166
.
✟186,963.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Her interests are way beyond the realms of this world. She sounds so focused on what she wants that she probably doesn't even remember you asking her out.

Go after what she's chasing - you'll be far better off and NOT distracted either.

Of course she remembers, I had asked her out just yesterday in a FB chat. This is what this post was all about.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

bèlla

❤️
Site Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
20,539
17,693
USA
✟952,981.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship
I think dating or relational mentors are very helpful. I don’t know if that’s done in Christian circles. But I’ve mentored several in the past. It helps to have honest feedback. Oftentimes people are unaware what’s causing problems or how they’re hindering their chances for happiness.

~Bella
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Noscentia

Active Member
Nov 19, 2016
129
100
33
USA
✟45,297.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Republican
Other than being Christian and single, I'm interested in what it is about her you're interested in.

Just from what little you've said, you seem a bit incredulous towards her manner of speaking or her way of thinking (at least in the examples you gave.) I do agree with the poster who said she's more likely to want to be with someone (if anybody) who is or has converted to Messianic Judaism. So it's possible that if she were willing to entertain any interest at all, her invitation to attend her Synagogue would be a predication of sorts. You go, you convert, and then and only then might you become an eligible candidate for dating and marriage.

Alternatively, she's being genuinely serious when she says she considers relationships to be little more than a distraction to her spiritual pursuits (there are definitely Christians out there who engage in voluntary singleness or celibacy for their faith) and you're better off looking elsewhere.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: bèlla
Upvote 0

ThisIsMe123

This And That
Mar 13, 2017
2,828
1,166
.
✟186,963.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Other than being Christian and single, I'm interested in what it is about her you're interested in.

Just from what little you've said, you seem a bit incredulous towards her manner of speaking or her way of thinking (at least in the examples you gave.) I do agree with the poster who said she's more likely to want to be with someone (if anybody) who is or has converted to Messianic Judaism. So it's possible that if she were willing to entertain any interest at all, her invitation to attend her Synagogue would be a predication of sorts. You go, you convert, and then and only then might you become an eligible candidate for dating and marriage.

Alternatively, she's being genuinely serious when she says she considers relationships to be little more than a distraction to her spiritual pursuits (there are definitely Christians out there who engage in voluntary singleness or celibacy for their faith) and you're better off looking elsewhere.

Good point. Where I live though, you can probably count this small population of the Christian (Messianic Jewish) community on two hands.
 
Upvote 0

blackribbon

Not a newbie
Dec 18, 2011
13,388
6,674
✟190,401.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Good point. Where I live though, you can probably count this small population of the Christian (Messianic Jewish) community on two hands.

Most places being Jewish is a minority, so she is likely used to it and understands that. That doesn't mean that she is going to change what she is looking for though.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums