What do I do? How do I honor my parents? How do I forgive them? How do I let them go?
Please understand it is nearly impossible to succinctly summarize this situation. There are of course details I'm leaving out. I'm asking for advice, not writing a book. Putting this together was exceedingly difficult...
My wife and I are conservative home schooling southern Baptists, while my divorced parents are secular progressive liberals. I don’t think my mother is capable of understanding the concept of eternal Salvation (she has borderline personality disorder and only God knows what else) and my short fused, manipulative, profoundly controlling, bully father (remarried) is a Methodist who thinks the bible is a set of fables designed to make people more productive members of society.
God forgive me, I have done so much harm to my loved ones over the course of my life. Fits of rage, chronic depression, post-traumatic stress type symptoms, substance abuse, addiction and other self destructive behaviors, all kinds of mental and emotional abuse. Since I was Saved 14 years ago God has truly done a great work in me. But I am still struggling and failing to protect my family from behaviors I learned from my parents. Recent events have given me a renewed realization that the seeds I have tried and failed to avoid sowing into my marriage and my children really came from what my parents sowed into me through their abuse and neglect. I don’t blame them for my actions, but I see the connection.
Other than birthday and holiday greetings I have been forced by my mother’s behavior to completely exclude her from my life for the safety of my children. Dad says he wants a better relationship with my family but the only relationship he seems to want is one based on guilt trips and manipulations that result in me making my family bend to his will. Real reconciliation is looking more impossible all the time. At a time of great difficulty in my marriage I am looking at the prospect of having to say goodbye to both of my parents while they are still alive. I have no parents to turn to, no one I trust from which to get good advice.
...so I thought it would be interesting to ask the internet...God help us all.
What do I do? How do I honor my parents, forgive them, protect myself and my family, and honor the Lord?
Please understand it is nearly impossible to succinctly summarize this situation. There are of course details I'm leaving out. I'm asking for advice, not writing a book. Putting this together was exceedingly difficult...
My wife and I are conservative home schooling southern Baptists, while my divorced parents are secular progressive liberals. I don’t think my mother is capable of understanding the concept of eternal Salvation (she has borderline personality disorder and only God knows what else) and my short fused, manipulative, profoundly controlling, bully father (remarried) is a Methodist who thinks the bible is a set of fables designed to make people more productive members of society.
God forgive me, I have done so much harm to my loved ones over the course of my life. Fits of rage, chronic depression, post-traumatic stress type symptoms, substance abuse, addiction and other self destructive behaviors, all kinds of mental and emotional abuse. Since I was Saved 14 years ago God has truly done a great work in me. But I am still struggling and failing to protect my family from behaviors I learned from my parents. Recent events have given me a renewed realization that the seeds I have tried and failed to avoid sowing into my marriage and my children really came from what my parents sowed into me through their abuse and neglect. I don’t blame them for my actions, but I see the connection.
Other than birthday and holiday greetings I have been forced by my mother’s behavior to completely exclude her from my life for the safety of my children. Dad says he wants a better relationship with my family but the only relationship he seems to want is one based on guilt trips and manipulations that result in me making my family bend to his will. Real reconciliation is looking more impossible all the time. At a time of great difficulty in my marriage I am looking at the prospect of having to say goodbye to both of my parents while they are still alive. I have no parents to turn to, no one I trust from which to get good advice.
...so I thought it would be interesting to ask the internet...God help us all.
What do I do? How do I honor my parents, forgive them, protect myself and my family, and honor the Lord?
