- Jun 19, 2016
- 723
- 373
- Country
- United Kingdom
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
I was brought up in church and Jesus/God was very important to me and I was fearful of God. Then I turned 15 and sat beside an atheist in my religious studies class and he never said anything in particular that made me doubt but the number of things he'd say to me gave doubt over time and I began to drift away and lost interest. I was very fearful at the beginning of going to hell but over time I have sort of become desensitised to the thought of it even though I know that's where I'm going.
I sort of wonder how I just lost the spark. In my head it didn't make sense anymore and couldn't take a lot of stuff people said at church seriously anymore (even though I hardly went) - I'd just cringe a bit at the sight of people waving their hands around in the air and crying (I'm not a very emotional person. I never cry or get upset unless I'm stressed at exam time but apart from that never - I didn't even cry when my grandparent died.)
Even though I believe in God I don't really care about it all anymore - I just can't seem to emotionally connect to it.
I don't think I'll ever be saved unless I have some eye-opening revelation that gets my head back into gear as I seem pretty dead already.
I don't even know if I want to be saved because I drifted so far away I can't even take it seriously but I do believe in God so maybe pray that my eyes open so I see truth.
I sort of wonder how I just lost the spark. In my head it didn't make sense anymore and couldn't take a lot of stuff people said at church seriously anymore (even though I hardly went) - I'd just cringe a bit at the sight of people waving their hands around in the air and crying (I'm not a very emotional person. I never cry or get upset unless I'm stressed at exam time but apart from that never - I didn't even cry when my grandparent died.)
Even though I believe in God I don't really care about it all anymore - I just can't seem to emotionally connect to it.
I don't think I'll ever be saved unless I have some eye-opening revelation that gets my head back into gear as I seem pretty dead already.
I don't even know if I want to be saved because I drifted so far away I can't even take it seriously but I do believe in God so maybe pray that my eyes open so I see truth.