How to Deal with a Very Difficult student who may be Influenced Demonically

Timahani said:

Hey everyone,

I am simply exhausted. I am over a large group of teachers and students, just to give you some quick background information. I have a student who his 15 years old with an extensive psychiatric history. He has been hospitalized multiple times, he abuses substances, and he has a poor support system in the home. He and his mom has no bond or attachment. My team of teachers and I deal with international students. So during the holidays we make sure that the students who are impoverished, who are living without parents, feel special as well during the holidays. The following arrangements were made for the student. 1) he sits directly next to me during class 2) the team gave him presents for his birthday and Christmas (because parents gave to the others without giving to him) 3) he has been offered tutoring to help him academically (but refuses to come), 4) since he has the strongest relationship with me, I have asked him several times to stay after school for 15 minutes to discuss somethings that are going on with him. In an attempt to support him academically and to give him tools to handle his anxiety attacks. He was having constant anxiety attacks with sweating episodes in class however, he refuses to come afterschool to receive help. He refuses to talk to the counselor or social worker at school, and we tried to get his mother to come in to sign him up for special educational services but she refuses. Anyways, prior to education my background was in psychology working with adolescents so that is why I as well as my team attempted to help him.There are 2 issues. 1) My classroom is packed with high school students. I can tell that the students are frustrated when " Jonathan" gets all of the " attention" or when he acts out which once again takes the " attention" away from the other students. 2) I am frustrated because I don't know what else to do with a kid who my team and I have tried to help extensively.

On Friday when I asked the student to sit down 2x. He started screaming, " you treat me like a dog" why do you keep telling me to sit down! Then I asked him to stay for a couple minutes. He screamed " No, I want to go to my next class!" three times and then he left. Now, I have never been spoke to by " Jonathan" like this in the 2 years that I have known him. Although he has drug and emotional issues, he is a very sweet and kind to his teachers. He will always greet us, give a high five, or a quick side hug when he enters and when he exits the classes (always). He does this daily. After the outburst, I had another teacher take over my class and I walked to the gym and immediately pulled him out to talk to him. From a Christian perspective , when I looked in his eyes I discerned something that was heavily demonic and angry that I have never seen in this child ever before. He was so angry that he could hardly speak. but he did express that " He knows that I care, that I do not treat him like a dog, but that he is frustrated with his grades". 1) My team states that I should discipline him, seat him differently and I should no longer help him. 2)Others state that I should continue to work with him because he does have issues and that the incident should be over looked. 3) God says that we are to love people, however, what if that person does not want to accept help. The manner in which his spoke to me, and the words that he utilized hurt me to my core because I care deeply about my students and would ne.

Please advice from a Christian perspective what should be done. I want to firm, but I don't want the student to fill like I am giving up on him either.

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Sooooooooooooooo.....

This is going to come across as brutal, but it is the best advice I have, and I believe it is Christian. I have a couple of stories, and I wish you will indulge me a moment, and then I'll give an answer to your question.

Do you see Jesus bending over backward, for people who refused to follow or listen to him? No. He simply offers help, and those that come, get the help, and those that don't... don't.

Dave Ramsey is a Christian talk radio host, and he offers help on finances. I remember one person called into the program, and after several minutes, started arguing with Dave over things. Abruptly Dave said "Well thanks for the call" and hung up on him without providing anymore help.

At the end of the program, Dave said that some people were upset that he hung up on that guy. He then explained that over the last 20 years of being on the radio, he realized some people simply were not going to do follow his advice, no matter what he did. So he could either spend his hours on the radio actually helping people who would listen and take his advice, and be helped... or he could waste it on someone that was never going to follow his advice. He learned to hang up on people who refused to learn, really fast.

My father was a public school teacher. Some years ago, after he retired, he ran into an ex-student. The student had gone to Florida to be with a wife there, she kicked him out, and he was penniless. Out of pity, she paid for a Greyhound ticket back to Ohio. Here his family kicked him out, and he was homeless.

My father bought him a car. Bought him clothes. Paid for 2 months rent at an apartment. Then my father contacted some former students who were employed, and set this guy up with a job.

After doing all this, the guy refused to work the job, ended up yelling at my father, and last we heard he's homeless again.

A few years back, me and my manager at work, learned of a woman being abused by her husband. We had her moved into my area. I taught her a new position. Trained her on new projects. Led her by the hand. She was promoted, given a pay raise. Sometimes, I would pick her up on the way to work. I delivered documents she needed, so that her abusive husband would not get them, and hide them from her.

She became cruel and abusive, not only toward me, but also my manager. We together, did the best we could for the woman, but I recently heard she was fired. I stopped working with her, after she became so cruel.

What I have learned....

You can't force people to do what is best for them. We're not G-d.

What we can do, is determine how we spend our time. I can spend my time really helping someone, or I can waste my time with someone that will never improve.

Dave Ramsey, can help 10 people in an hour, or he can waste an hour on someone that will refuse to make the changes needed.

My father can spend his time and money on someone who will use it to move forward and improve his life, or waste it on a guy that will blow it all, quit is job, and go back to being homeless.

You as well, can choose to spend your time helping an entire class of kids to improve and grow.
Or, you can choose to spend your time helping one kid... who isn't being helped, and is not improving or growing.

As near as I can tell from what you wrote, this kid hasn't made any progress. You have told him to come in for tutoring, and he has refused.

Blunt, and to the point.... I would not waste one more minute of the time G-d has given me to help students, on a student that refuses to do what is necessary to succeed.

That is completely and totally unfair to the other students who ARE putting in the effort to succeed.

It sounds like your already doing a lot of what you can do. Are you in a public or Christian school? The one things I think you could do more is, the spiritual end of things with prayer and such. But if your teaching in a public school that naturally is a problem for that.

Being patient with the process is also important. It's the old saying that "Rome wasn't built in day". This kid has had problems that have happened over years, he likewise needs to work day by day to heal from it. Sometimes God does instantaneous miracles that undo such things, but more times than not, we got to walk this stuff out day by day.

Timahani said:

Hey everyone,

I am simply exhausted. I am over a large group of teachers and students, just to give you some quick background information. I have a student who his 15 years old with an extensive psychiatric history. He has been hospitalized multiple times, he abuses substances, and he has a poor support system in the home. He and his mom has no bond or attachment. My team of teachers and I deal with international students. So during the holidays we make sure that the students who are impoverished, who are living without parents, feel special as well during the holidays. The following arrangements were made for the student. 1) he sits directly next to me during class 2) the team gave him presents for his birthday and Christmas (because parents gave to the others without giving to him) 3) he has been offered tutoring to help him academically (but refuses to come), 4) since he has the strongest relationship with me, I have asked him several times to stay after school for 15 minutes to discuss somethings that are going on with him. In an attempt to support him academically and to give him tools to handle his anxiety attacks. He was having constant anxiety attacks with sweating episodes in class however, he refuses to come afterschool to receive help. He refuses to talk to the counselor or social worker at school, and we tried to get his mother to come in to sign him up for special educational services but she refuses. Anyways, prior to education my background was in psychology working with adolescents so that is why I as well as my team attempted to help him.There are 2 issues. 1) My classroom is packed with high school students. I can tell that the students are frustrated when " Jonathan" gets all of the " attention" or when he acts out which once again takes the " attention" away from the other students. 2) I am frustrated because I don't know what else to do with a kid who my team and I have tried to help extensively.

On Friday when I asked the student to sit down 2x. He started screaming, " you treat me like a dog" why do you keep telling me to sit down! Then I asked him to stay for a couple minutes. He screamed " No, I want to go to my next class!" three times and then he left. Now, I have never been spoke to by " Jonathan" like this in the 2 years that I have known him. Although he has drug and emotional issues, he is a very sweet and kind to his teachers. He will always greet us, give a high five, or a quick side hug when he enters and when he exits the classes (always). He does this daily. After the outburst, I had another teacher take over my class and I walked to the gym and immediately pulled him out to talk to him. From a Christian perspective , when I looked in his eyes I discerned something that was heavily demonic and angry that I have never seen in this child ever before. He was so angry that he could hardly speak. but he did express that " He knows that I care, that I do not treat him like a dog, but that he is frustrated with his grades". 1) My team states that I should discipline him, seat him differently and I should no longer help him. 2)Others state that I should continue to work with him because he does have issues and that the incident should be over looked. 3) God says that we are to love people, however, what if that person does not want to accept help. The manner in which his spoke to me, and the words that he utilized hurt me to my core because I care deeply about my students and would ne.

Please advice from a Christian perspective what should be done. I want to firm, but I don't want the student to fill like I am giving up on him either.

Click to expand...

After reading your post this is what comes to my mind, when you have done all you can do stand (Eph 6:13).

It really appears that you have done all you can do. You've gone above and beyond for this kid and you've done it with the right heart. You can't force someone into being healed or set free, but you can stand.

That word stand here means: to stand by (in the presence of others), to make firm or establish, to keep a thing in its place or keep intact.

My advice would be to stand behind what you've done and not try to change it much, if at all. This kid needs some positive consistency. You provided the positive, now stand, and provide the consistency. It may not seem like progress is being made in the outward, but the same scripture says we don't wrestle with flesh and blood, but we DO wrestle with spiritual enemies... you ARE making a difference. What you are seeing with him right now is the spiritual wrestling that is happening. Don't let that cause you to fear or back down, just stand.

Further just be aware of your own armor. It says to put on your whole armor, then stand. Make sure you are always standing on the truth, standing in faith, standing on the word & the gospel, that you are operating from a place of righteousness and salvation. To me it sounds like you are doing this. So keep it up! Don't loose heart. You are making a difference!

OK this is going to sound strange, but as a Christian you have authority over the worldly elements around you. I used to know a guy - a strange guy - who had the exact same problem. Dr Winston Ferris was his name. He passed about 10 years ago. He could be described as an academician, and a "Word of Faith" Seventh Day Adventist.

For a while he was an adjunct professor at Andrews Univ, a SDA seminary in southwest Michigan. Then he worked as an administrative consultant and substitute teacher in the Benton Harbor MI school system. BH is often called "little Detroit" as it has many of the same problems of poverty, violence and gang activity.

He wrote up something from his own bible study and he called it the "Embassy Prayer" based on this:

When he started praying this consistently in the classrooms that he had to substitute in, there was enough of a decrease in the violence levels that the school district took notice.

Apparently his daughter has taken some of his self published papers (including that prayer) and made them available.

https://www.amazon.com/embassy-prayer-home-blessings-protection/dp/B0006RLCLS

Pray for him, that's all I think you should do for now

Timahani said:

Hey everyone,

I am simply exhausted. I am over a large group of teachers and students, just to give you some quick background information. I have a student who his 15 years old with an extensive psychiatric history. He has been hospitalized multiple times, he abuses substances, and he has a poor support system in the home. He and his mom has no bond or attachment. My team of teachers and I deal with international students. So during the holidays we make sure that the students who are impoverished, who are living without parents, feel special as well during the holidays. The following arrangements were made for the student. 1) he sits directly next to me during class 2) the team gave him presents for his birthday and Christmas (because parents gave to the others without giving to him) 3) he has been offered tutoring to help him academically (but refuses to come), 4) since he has the strongest relationship with me, I have asked him several times to stay after school for 15 minutes to discuss somethings that are going on with him. In an attempt to support him academically and to give him tools to handle his anxiety attacks. He was having constant anxiety attacks with sweating episodes in class however, he refuses to come afterschool to receive help. He refuses to talk to the counselor or social worker at school, and we tried to get his mother to come in to sign him up for special educational services but she refuses. Anyways, prior to education my background was in psychology working with adolescents so that is why I as well as my team attempted to help him.There are 2 issues. 1) My classroom is packed with high school students. I can tell that the students are frustrated when " Jonathan" gets all of the " attention" or when he acts out which once again takes the " attention" away from the other students. 2) I am frustrated because I don't know what else to do with a kid who my team and I have tried to help extensively.

On Friday when I asked the student to sit down 2x. He started screaming, " you treat me like a dog" why do you keep telling me to sit down! Then I asked him to stay for a couple minutes. He screamed " No, I want to go to my next class!" three times and then he left. Now, I have never been spoke to by " Jonathan" like this in the 2 years that I have known him. Although he has drug and emotional issues, he is a very sweet and kind to his teachers. He will always greet us, give a high five, or a quick side hug when he enters and when he exits the classes (always). He does this daily. After the outburst, I had another teacher take over my class and I walked to the gym and immediately pulled him out to talk to him. From a Christian perspective , when I looked in his eyes I discerned something that was heavily demonic and angry that I have never seen in this child ever before. He was so angry that he could hardly speak. but he did express that " He knows that I care, that I do not treat him like a dog, but that he is frustrated with his grades". 1) My team states that I should discipline him, seat him differently and I should no longer help him. 2)Others state that I should continue to work with him because he does have issues and that the incident should be over looked. 3) God says that we are to love people, however, what if that person does not want to accept help. The manner in which his spoke to me, and the words that he utilized hurt me to my core because I care deeply about my students and would ne.

Please advice from a Christian perspective what should be done. I want to firm, but I don't want the student to fill like I am giving up on him either.

Click to expand...

's to you

Speaking as a teacher myself I would maintain the consistency of how you talk to him etc (that you've done before). But I would also first do two things:

1) Before your lessons with him take authority over your classroom as in pray over your classroom forbidding anything attached to him from entering your room. I have a 12 year old who I sense has a little 'buddy' with him and when I do this the boy is more co-operative in my lessons. Your colleagues, the rest of the class and the student may not know or see what you've done but in an Eph 6 way whatever is with him has to bow to the Name of Jesus and will not be able to enter the classroom with the student.

2) If there is a behavioural policy at your school and he has overstepped it in terms of being disrespectful to you (in front of his peers), insist that a sanction is followed through by him before you're prepared to teach him again - whether it is in private (ie he apologises to you) or he gets a detention. Keep that clear boundary for the sake of the other students in the class. They can then see that there is no clear special treatment of this boy and also will show them that you are indeed available for any of them that may need help but you are also not someone that a child can talk to in any way.

Keep praying for him but also bear in mind that if he continues to refuse help from you, then it is time to step back and prayerfully wait until he is ready for help.

Can so relate to your OP!!

Timahani said:

@Lotuspetal_uk
I really love how you stated that we must take authority in Jesus Name over " Whatever" is attaching itself to that child. Since I have started praying he has been more productive and has turned in 4 assignments and I have not had any outbursts. It was really shocking because one student told me " I don't know what it is Miss, but I can feel the presence of the Lord in your classroom". When he said that I was simply amazed. This student has never been to church, we do not even discuss anything of that nature and this came out of his mouth. About a day later another student asked me to take him to church (which I cannot do). But I was just overwhelmed at how pray was changing the atmosphere in my class. Thank you for your advice, I will continue to stay on my face and will follow through with consequences.

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@Timahani that's awesome to read, praise God!