Not sure if this is the right forum to post in, but I really need a biblical/scriptural perspective.
I've been an evangelical Christian for about five years now, but I'm starting to have serious doubts.
It seems to me that so many people in the Bible (Noah, Moses, Adam and Eve, Mary, the Disciples etc....) didn't need to "believe in God without proof". Proof of God was right on front of them. God spoke directly to some people, appeared as a burning Bush, angels appeared to Mary and the Disciples etc... if I had witnessed any of this, of course I would believe in God!
This seems so different to my own experience as a Christian. Looking back, all the times I've thought that God was "communicating" with me, or answering my prayers could just have been a coincidence. Or maybe just me thinking it was real? It's not even that I want PROOF, but I don't even feel like I have any evidence at all that what I believe in is real. Why is this? Have I not come to know Jesus yet? Has God really been speaking with me all these years and it's just doubt making me feel this way? A Minister I spoke with said that an answer to this is because, compared to biblical times, God now works "inwardly" with us, as opposed to direct communication. But i don't know....that just seems a bit too convenient?
Im confused and need help. If anybody has a scriptural or biblical perspective on this I would really appreciate it.
It depends on what you are expecting. Many fall by the wayside because they are expecting bells and whistles, emotional experiences, sensory experiences, a greater sense of God's presence with them. Also, they try to measure up to what others expect of them and attempt to be the good believers they see around them. But there is absolutely no support in the Bible for any of those things.
The Scripture says, "This is the will of God, that you believe on Him whom God has sent." Jesus said that Himself, so there is no greater authority than that.
Believing on Jesus is to just believe in what He says, and start doing what He has commanded us to do. If we want to know the will of God for our lives, we need to read the Bible; if we want to do the will of God, we need to do the Bible.
When I asked God once how to be a real Christian, He said, "Just be yourself". I told him I couldn't do that because everyone will see all my sins and shortcomings. I think I was comparing myself with others and fearing that if I relaxed and stopped trying to be religious, others in the church would put me down and criticise me - even try to cast demons out of me! But God's reply to me was: "If I don't like you, I will change you!"
I then asked Him about dreams, visions and sensory experiences. He said that I didn't need them because I had Jesus with me and the Holy Spirit was right inside of me. He also said that most of life will be routine and that sometimes there will be highs and lows, but 99% of my time will be just doing the routine things every day. He said that the same Jesus will be with and in me, whether I am at a hyped up church service on Sunday night, or trudging off to work on a cold and grey Monday morning.
So, the Christian faith is not what we feel or sense, but what we believe. And b believing is act of the will. I decide to believe what God says about me in His Word, regardless of what I am feeling or sensing at any one time.
I pull myself out of bed in the morning (I am not a morning person), thinking, "Good Lord, morning!", and in my groggy state, I do say, "Thank you Lord for another day". Not because I feel totally fussed about getting out of bed right then, but that I decide to thank God for another day, regardless of feeling groggy and a little depressed, until I have my first cup of coffee.
You can have all the doubts in the world, but that is not a sign of unbelief. Unbelief is when I decide not to believe what God says about me in the Bible. Faith is when I decide that what the Bible says about me is true, and I base my life and conduct on it. If the Bible tells me to have faith in God, I am going to have faith in God, come hell or high water! I'm going to have faith in God regardless if the cat scratches me, my wife nags me, my boss bullies me, I miss the bus to work, it rains on me and I've forgotten my umbrella, the neighbor's dog [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] his leg and urinates on my trousers, and I step in its poo!
If Jesus says that He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother, then it is true for me because I decide it is true.
The trouble is, we are too influenced by what others expect of us, and we compare ourselves too much with those who look and seem more spiritual than us and appear to be stronger in their faith than we are. But we don't know what their faults and shortcomings are. Often, they are struggling with life just as we are. We see them only at church when they are at the best behaviour. We don't seem how they are coping with the realities of life at home and at work. We don't know if they have sick children, nagging wives, loopy dogs, cats that catch birds and bring them inside, high mortgages, demanding bosses at work, children in trouble with the law, having their homes broken into and possessions stolen.
Having faith in God is the same whether we are having a hallelujah hootenanny at church, or washing the dishes at home, hanging out the washing, doing the accounts, sitting on a hard seat in the bus, running for the train, waiting for 5pm to come around after a boring work day, meeting a good friend for coffee, taking the wife out to dinner, counselling a friend in trouble, advising a daughter who has just lost her job.
Having faith in God is not determined by how we feel or what we sense, or our circumstances. It is dependent on our choice to have faith in God no matter what life throws at us, or the positive things that happen.