Just write words. They don't have to make perfect sense. They just have to convey what you're feeling. Worry about organizing them once you've gotten them out. And don't stress it. I often go back and edit what I've written over and over again. It's like drawing. You never draw a perfect picture the first time. (Unless you're some crazy good expert.) Sketch an outline, draw over that, erase the outline... there's a lot of erasing in drawing. Likewise, writing is going to have a lot of editing before it's finished.
Speaking of drawing, I plan to illustrate my own books, and drawing illustrations is a good way for you to express yourself without words. Even if you don't intend to use illustrations, it might help you if you try and use some other medium to express your writings. Maybe it will help you find the right way to express what you want in print.