Don't know what to think: Wife believes wedding ring is just materialistic...

Manny Pacheco · Feb 15, 2018

Im am hoping to receive some guidance on a pretty sensitive subject I am dealing with. I have been going through some pretty severe marital issues, for about 5 months. As we dig deeper I find that my wife has recently been dealing with Dysthymia(type of depression, recently diagnosed), I don't know if this is the cause of this whole mess or there are other deeper/bigger issues. One particular issue I continue to deal with is she does not wear her wedding ring anymore. She did wear it before for the last 8 years of our Godly-ran marriage.
In past conversations, and now in christian couples counseling, she expressed that "it doesn't really mean anything to her and its just a materialistic thing". She explained further, that "she knows she is married and she doesn't have to wear the ring to know that, and its not like she gets hit on". I tired to explain to her how much that means to a young man, and most importantly me. I told her "when a young man decides to give a woman a ring, with the intention to marry her, it is one of the biggest decisions he'll ever make. It means as much as like pulling the plug on a loved one, on their death bed. It means that much to a young man. It means you are THE woman that I plan to spend the rest of my life with." I also, tried to argue the "materialistic image" by her, with asking her if she believes in holy water. She said yes. I then asked her what is the difference in just ordinary water, and holy water, it is blessed. Our ring was blessed in our marriage ceremony, so I feel it absolutely isn't just a materialistic thing, its a significance of our sacrament and a reminder of those commitments. I also tried to add, how do you plan to teach our 2 young sons and our daughter? It shouldn't matter to them either in their future spouses, and they should look at it like you do? She didn't respond...
The Counselor seemed concerned and basically asked her, why she is doing it and why you want to hurt your husband, because it obviously hurts him. My wife just said " I don't know"

3 immediate conclusions come to my head:
1. She is trying to inflict pain on me and our relationship, which displays actions of no hope/effort to reconcile this marriage
2. She is trying to live a double lifestyle, by trying to seem available to other men.
3. She is just not committed to this marriage and, again, wants it to fail.

Obviously there is a little more to the story, but these are the main points. What do my Christian brothers and sister think? Is this a normal thing for a Christian wife? Am I wrong? Has anybody else dealt with this? Is there even any hope for this Marriage, with this mentality?

Albion · Feb 15, 2018

What you've surmised as possible explanations seem logical to me, although I kind of doubt that points 1 or 2 are the answer...but there's always the possibility that it's something else, such as some sort of mid-life crisis that's affected her sense of herself.

She might have been influenced by some outside philosophy of life that she picked up from reading or from a friend, or from who knows where, but her inability or unwillingness to explain much of anything isn't going to help to alleviate your distress, I know.

HereIStand · Feb 15, 2018

That sounds like a difficult issue. If most everything else in your marriage is going well, I would let it go. In time maybe, she'll want to wear the ring again.

Halbhh · Feb 15, 2018

Manny Pacheco said:
Im am hoping to receive some guidance on a pretty sensitive subject I am dealing with. I have been going through some pretty severe marital issues, for about 5 months. As we dig deeper I find that my wife has recently been dealing with Dysthymia(type of depression, recently diagnosed), I don't know if this is the cause of this whole mess or there are other deeper/bigger issues. One particular issue I continue to deal with is she does not wear her wedding ring anymore. She did wear it before for the last 8 years of our Godly-ran marriage.
In past conversations, and now in christian couples counseling, she expressed that "it doesn't really mean anything to her and its just a materialistic thing". She explained further, that "she knows she is married and she doesn't have to wear the ring to know that, and its not like she gets hit on". I tired to explain to her how much that means to a young man, and most importantly me. I told her "when a young man decides to give a woman a ring, with the intention to marry her, it is one of the biggest decisions he'll ever make. It means as much as like pulling the plug on a loved one, on their death bed. It means that much to a young man. It means you are THE woman that I plan to spend the rest of my life with." I also, tried to argue the "materialistic image" by her, with asking her if she believes in holy water. She said yes. I then asked her what is the difference in just ordinary water, and holy water, it is blessed. Our ring was blessed in our marriage ceremony, so I feel it absolutely isn't just a materialistic thing, its a significance of our sacrament and a reminder of those commitments. I also tried to add, how do you plan to teach our 2 young sons and our daughter? It shouldn't matter to them either in their future spouses, and they should look at it like you do? She didn't respond...
The Counselor seemed concerned and basically asked her, why she is doing it and why you want to hurt your husband, because it obviously hurts him. My wife just said " I don't know"

3 immediate conclusions come to my head:
1. She is trying to inflict pain on me and our relationship, which displays actions of no hope/effort to reconcile this marriage
2. She is trying to live a double lifestyle, by trying to seem available to other men.
3. She is just not committed to this marriage and, again, wants it to fail.

Obviously there is a little more to the story, but these are the main points. What do my Christian brothers and sister think? Is this a normal thing for a Christian wife? Am I wrong? Has anybody else dealt with this? Is there even any hope for this Marriage, with this mentality?

The human heart is always in its nature, the fleshy nature of our bodies (which is part of marriage too, and basic, such as to reproduction) going to be having impulses that are not perfect, and not necessarily the worst impulses, but even also just the everyday kind that are natural to the body, like irritations or jealousies or impatience or angers and pride. It's endemic to us, but it's not the end.

This is part of why Jesus said to us we must "forgive your brother (or sister) from your heart", and over and over! "..seventy times seven" is just over and over really. It's this forgiving that allows marriage to work over time I think, in that all must do so for marriage to stay loving. So, that means the amazing reality is that to get back to love we must forgive even whatever we think she meant or said (which very often isn't what she meant or quite said!)....

And even in situations that are more or less loving. That is, even when it seems more needed or less needed. (and also for people out of love (not you here!), for them also!)

Put in shorter words, love here in this flesh requires forgiving over and over, and this forgiving always makes things better than they would be for both people than without it.

I remind you of what you know not to teach so much as to encourage!

Less important, but sometimes helpful, is another observation about being married -- that we don't really understand the other as well as we think! If we can get it that we really don't understand them as well as we think, that can help us to forgive more quickly. But finally, as you likely know, by focusing on Christ Jesus, I can forgive more quickly, because of Him, because of how He has forgiven me and loved me.

Greg Merrill · Feb 15, 2018

I think you are right, your wife is wrong, and that you both need to really see if there is a deeper reason for her not wanting to wear the ring. I stopped wearing mine for a while because of having gained wait and the ring being uncomfortable. We had the ring resized. I have never been in the habit of wearing it to bed, and don't always wear it around the house, but try to always wear it if leaving the house. It is a symbol of the things you have mentioned, and one that is committed to loving their spouse should have no problem wearing it in public.

Wolfe · Feb 15, 2018

A ring is just materialistic, marriage bond is spiritual, not accounted for by a small bit of expensive jewels on your finger.
If all else in your marriage is fine, I'd drop it.

NothingIsImpossible · Feb 15, 2018

Kind of surprised how others are making a big deal of it too. Its just a ring. A piece of metal with/without a jewel. Sure it has monetary value and maybe emotional value since its what you put on each others fingers in the ceremony. But in the end it isn't the end all of meaning your married. Its just a symbol. Not wearing it doesn't make you less married or not married. Granted people may feel confused at church if they don't see rings and yet they see you kiss or something. My wife and I don't wear our rings at all. They sit in our jewelry boxes that came with the rings.

My wife doesn't wear hers too because shes forgetful at times and it often gets lost or accidentally left in a sink in public when she washes her hands. I don't wear mine because I don't want to get it dirty or get germs on it. I find it to be something that can get in the way. Not to mention all the accidents I see of rings getting stuck on something and damaging fingers. Especially if in an accident and your hand swells, they have to cut the ring off. Then again we got our rings on Amazon for $100 total. So they are easily replaceable.

If the ring is really that important to then I'd tell her. But if she doesn't want to wear it then I'd drop the subject because its not worth creating marriage issues over assuming all else is going good in the marriage.

I should note I don't really buy gifts for my wife on valentines or our anniversary because to me its a waste of money. Its all perishable and just material forms of love. Instead I show my wife love through my actions. On valentines for example I'll cook her dinner and make a egg in a heart shape with some red to it. I'll give her a long massage...etc. Though she does enjoy buying gifts even though I tell her I'd rather she not because of financial reasons. But, if thats how she expresses her love then I let her do it.

Part of marriage is accepting the good and bad qualities of the person. Not that you have to accept bad qualities that are severe in nature. Like if a spouse loves talking to and ex boyfriend or something.

Greg Merrill · Feb 15, 2018

Wolfe said:
A ring is just materialistic, marriage bond is spiritual, not accounted for by a small bit of expensive jewels on your finger.
If all else in your marriage is fine, I'd drop it.

A bunch of rocks piled together might just be a rock pile for some, but some of those rock piles meant more to God and to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and the whole Jewish nation, when they were used as an altar, or appointed as a memorial. A wedding ring, like an altar and a memorial, is to mean to the one wearing it, and the one that gave it to them (their spouse) that they are sacrificing their independent spirit of being single, and that they are remembering their wedding vows with this ring that is a token of those vows they took at their wedding which is to continue on through their entire marriage. Many have gone through the motions, the rituals, the traditions of a wedding ceremony, not even understanding or believing the purpose, symbolism, and meanings behind the acts and words in that they say and do during that wedding. Many of these also end up in divorce; far more than those that went through that wedding with a full understanding. If you are only secular, and without a godly character or understanding, a ring may be only material. But one that has a godly character and understanding of a wedding and marriage that God instituted knows the wedding ring is more than just a materialistic piece of jewelry.

Manny Pacheco · Feb 15, 2018

I really appreciate the responses so far, but I just wanted to add that everything else seems to NOT being going well. It seems that we are no longer seeing eye to eye on a lot of things, anymore. Basically, long story short, she told me 5 months ago she no longer was in love with me and didn't feel anything for me, she explained it as being "numb". I think depression is a lot of this, but who knows by now. It seems like she has this kind of liberation now, and is only doing things for her own self interests. I just see a continued destructive behavior that is affecting my family's and my emotional well being. She is very avoiding and always has been; hates confrontation. I'm seriously lost by now, I just see it as she continually displays she does not want this relationship to work out, but she does show up to counseling... ????

Kit Sigmon · Feb 15, 2018

Manny Pacheco said:
Im am hoping to receive some guidance on a pretty sensitive subject I am dealing with. I have been going through some pretty severe marital issues, for about 5 months. As we dig deeper I find that my wife has recently been dealing with Dysthymia(type of depression, recently diagnosed), I don't know if this is the cause of this whole mess or there are other deeper/bigger issues. One particular issue I continue to deal with is she does not wear her wedding ring anymore. She did wear it before for the last 8 years of our Godly-ran marriage.
In past conversations, and now in christian couples counseling, she expressed that "it doesn't really mean anything to her and its just a materialistic thing". She explained further, that "she knows she is married and she doesn't have to wear the ring to know that, and its not like she gets hit on". I tired to explain to her how much that means to a young man, and most importantly me. I told her "when a young man decides to give a woman a ring, with the intention to marry her, it is one of the biggest decisions he'll ever make. It means as much as like pulling the plug on a loved one, on their death bed. It means that much to a young man. It means you are THE woman that I plan to spend the rest of my life with." I also, tried to argue the "materialistic image" by her, with asking her if she believes in holy water. She said yes. I then asked her what is the difference in just ordinary water, and holy water, it is blessed. Our ring was blessed in our marriage ceremony, so I feel it absolutely isn't just a materialistic thing, its a significance of our sacrament and a reminder of those commitments. I also tried to add, how do you plan to teach our 2 young sons and our daughter? It shouldn't matter to them either in their future spouses, and they should look at it like you do? She didn't respond...
The Counselor seemed concerned and basically asked her, why she is doing it and why you want to hurt your husband, because it obviously hurts him. My wife just said " I don't know"

3 immediate conclusions come to my head:
1. She is trying to inflict pain on me and our relationship, which displays actions of no hope/effort to reconcile this marriage
2. She is trying to live a double lifestyle, by trying to seem available to other men.
3. She is just not committed to this marriage and, again, wants it to fail.

Obviously there is a little more to the story, but these are the main points. What do my Christian brothers and sister think? Is this a normal thing for a Christian wife? Am I wrong? Has anybody else dealt with this? Is there even any hope for this Marriage, with this mentality?

What your wife be doing is all related to her mental illness...the usual stuff don't mean much now, she detaches, self esteem drops, seems to be in a fog/poor concentration/difficult for her to make decisions etc.

I know this be hard on you, please don't be on her about the wearing the wedding ring, and try to put assumptions aside...realize your wife is struggling with a mental illness and family dynamics will change...this is going to be a hard path to walk and as much as wearing a wedding ring means to you...to your wife who has dysthymia, she be detached from such sentiments.

Were the symptoms properly explained to you? are you being counseled as to how to come along side her? What type of family support system do you all have? you
going to need good support.
Do make a point of pursuing more information on her type of depression.

Sketcher · Feb 15, 2018

I would not call this normal. My mom is not that fancy, but she has always worn her ring. If your wife is weirdly convicted about wearing any jewelry at all, I have an idea that I am copying from a former pastor I know - while he doesn't have a ring, he has a ring-shaped tattoo on his ring finger in Hebrew letters. I don't know what it says, but it's probably something about devotion or how God established the covenant of marriage or something on that order. Have her do something like that.

Ancient of Days · Feb 15, 2018

Marriage is a matter of the heart. A covenant between a man, a woman and God. Both me and my wife think the whole ring thing is utter nonsense...

NothingIsImpossible · Feb 16, 2018

Manny Pacheco said:
I really appreciate the responses so far, but I just wanted to add that everything else seems to NOT being going well. It seems that we are no longer seeing eye to eye on a lot of things, anymore. Basically, long story short, she told me 5 months ago she no longer was in love with me and didn't feel anything for me, she explained it as being "numb". I think depression is a lot of this, but who knows by now. It seems like she has this kind of liberation now, and is only doing things for her own self interests. I just see a continued destructive behavior that is affecting my family's and my emotional well being. She is very avoiding and always has been; hates confrontation. I'm seriously lost by now, I just see it as she continually displays she does not want this relationship to work out, but she does show up to counseling... ????

In that case this isn't just a simple thing. Also I for some reason missed you said she had a form of depression. That could make things worse for people. My depression isn't as bad as it used to be. But as time went on I was VERY negative, very "not caring", very "whatever". I wish I could say there is an easy answer to fix such issues. Meds can help, but they can also cause other issues. In my case my meds made my feel like a sluggish, slow, confused person. Overtime though my depression seemed to go away once I made some changes in my life.

Andrew77 · Feb 16, 2018

Manny Pacheco said:
Im am hoping to receive some guidance on a pretty sensitive subject I am dealing with. I have been going through some pretty severe marital issues, for about 5 months. As we dig deeper I find that my wife has recently been dealing with Dysthymia(type of depression, recently diagnosed), I don't know if this is the cause of this whole mess or there are other deeper/bigger issues. One particular issue I continue to deal with is she does not wear her wedding ring anymore. She did wear it before for the last 8 years of our Godly-ran marriage.
In past conversations, and now in christian couples counseling, she expressed that "it doesn't really mean anything to her and its just a materialistic thing". She explained further, that "she knows she is married and she doesn't have to wear the ring to know that, and its not like she gets hit on". I tired to explain to her how much that means to a young man, and most importantly me. I told her "when a young man decides to give a woman a ring, with the intention to marry her, it is one of the biggest decisions he'll ever make. It means as much as like pulling the plug on a loved one, on their death bed. It means that much to a young man. It means you are THE woman that I plan to spend the rest of my life with." I also, tried to argue the "materialistic image" by her, with asking her if she believes in holy water. She said yes. I then asked her what is the difference in just ordinary water, and holy water, it is blessed. Our ring was blessed in our marriage ceremony, so I feel it absolutely isn't just a materialistic thing, its a significance of our sacrament and a reminder of those commitments. I also tried to add, how do you plan to teach our 2 young sons and our daughter? It shouldn't matter to them either in their future spouses, and they should look at it like you do? She didn't respond...
The Counselor seemed concerned and basically asked her, why she is doing it and why you want to hurt your husband, because it obviously hurts him. My wife just said " I don't know"

3 immediate conclusions come to my head:
1. She is trying to inflict pain on me and our relationship, which displays actions of no hope/effort to reconcile this marriage
2. She is trying to live a double lifestyle, by trying to seem available to other men.
3. She is just not committed to this marriage and, again, wants it to fail.

Obviously there is a little more to the story, but these are the main points. What do my Christian brothers and sister think? Is this a normal thing for a Christian wife? Am I wrong? Has anybody else dealt with this? Is there even any hope for this Marriage, with this mentality?

Obviously it's not normal.

I am not going to try and jump into your situation because it's possible your wife has some real issues that I don't understand.

I would say this. If my wife removed her wedding ban, then I would remove her from the house. Literally. She wants to live with me, like a married woman, then she puts that ring on and keeps it there.

She wants to play around, and give me excuses, then she can go live with her parents until she figures out her priorities in life.

Just being honest and open with you brother, that is not something I would play around with. That wedding band is a direct symbol of our marriage... end of story, game over, thanks for playing.

I don't care what she says. I don't. Honestly. That is our symbol of being married to each other. If she doesn't want to wear it, then she can get out, and go sleep alone with her parents until she figures out what matters in her life. Period. Get out. Get your head screwed back on, or stay away for a couple of years. When you put the ring back on, I'll take you back with open arms. But until then, I am a man with standards, and you have to meet them in this relationship. Keeping your ring on, is not an unreasonable standard.

lastofall · Feb 16, 2018

The scripture tells us that a double-minded person is unstable in all their ways: also it tells us that if the unbelieving spouse departs, let them depart; for the believing spouse is not imprisoned (under oppression) concerning such.
If the other is unwilling to come to what is right, and decent, and to good will, then let them alone; for except they repent, they are in the state of condemning their own self.

Albion · Feb 16, 2018

Manny Pacheco said:
I really appreciate the responses so far, but I just wanted to add that everything else seems to NOT being going well. It seems that we are no longer seeing eye to eye on a lot of things, anymore. Basically, long story short, she told me 5 months ago she no longer was in love with me and didn't feel anything for me, she explained it as being "numb". I think depression is a lot of this, but who knows by now. It seems like she has this kind of liberation now, and is only doing things for her own self interests. I just see a continued destructive behavior that is affecting my family's and my emotional well being. She is very avoiding and always has been; hates confrontation. I'm seriously lost by now, I just see it as she continually displays she does not want this relationship to work out, but she does show up to counseling... ????

If it is the case that she shows up for counseling sessions but is willing only to tell her side of things and not ever to agree to any proposals made by the counselor that might rejuvenate the marriage...you are wasting your time with counselors.

faroukfarouk · Feb 16, 2018

Manny Pacheco said:
Im am hoping to receive some guidance on a pretty sensitive subject I am dealing with. I have been going through some pretty severe marital issues, for about 5 months. As we dig deeper I find that my wife has recently been dealing with Dysthymia(type of depression, recently diagnosed), I don't know if this is the cause of this whole mess or there are other deeper/bigger issues. One particular issue I continue to deal with is she does not wear her wedding ring anymore. She did wear it before for the last 8 years of our Godly-ran marriage.
In past conversations, and now in christian couples counseling, she expressed that "it doesn't really mean anything to her and its just a materialistic thing". She explained further, that "she knows she is married and she doesn't have to wear the ring to know that, and its not like she gets hit on". I tired to explain to her how much that means to a young man, and most importantly me. I told her "when a young man decides to give a woman a ring, with the intention to marry her, it is one of the biggest decisions he'll ever make. It means as much as like pulling the plug on a loved one, on their death bed. It means that much to a young man. It means you are THE woman that I plan to spend the rest of my life with." I also, tried to argue the "materialistic image" by her, with asking her if she believes in holy water. She said yes. I then asked her what is the difference in just ordinary water, and holy water, it is blessed. Our ring was blessed in our marriage ceremony, so I feel it absolutely isn't just a materialistic thing, its a significance of our sacrament and a reminder of those commitments. I also tried to add, how do you plan to teach our 2 young sons and our daughter? It shouldn't matter to them either in their future spouses, and they should look at it like you do? She didn't respond...
The Counselor seemed concerned and basically asked her, why she is doing it and why you want to hurt your husband, because it obviously hurts him. My wife just said " I don't know"

3 immediate conclusions come to my head:
1. She is trying to inflict pain on me and our relationship, which displays actions of no hope/effort to reconcile this marriage
2. She is trying to live a double lifestyle, by trying to seem available to other men.
3. She is just not committed to this marriage and, again, wants it to fail.

Obviously there is a little more to the story, but these are the main points. What do my Christian brothers and sister think? Is this a normal thing for a Christian wife? Am I wrong? Has anybody else dealt with this? Is there even any hope for this Marriage, with this mentality?

Whether she is or is not really going through mental illness (and I can't judge), you for your part need to love her unconditionally, don't you?

Greg J. · Feb 16, 2018

It is vital that:

(1) you educate yourself about clinical depression. IMO, you should know enough to explain its causes and effects to others. Feeling "depressed" is only one of many effects from having it. It can be very, very hard on those close to the ill person, but understanding the illness helps. Know that all her strange behaviors are her efforts to reduce the high degree of pain she is in. Discovering what the facilitators of that pain are is important. It can be things like her perception that she must behave in certain ways or meet certain expectations, rather than accepting herself completely as she is. It is easy for others to contribute to keeping this pressure on her. One of the best things a person can do for someone with depression is to accept them as they are, in every detail. Let them be as they are. This will have a powerful, positive effect in the long run.

(2) she be in therapy with a (preferably? female) psychologist who includes treating depression as one of their specialties, and possibly on medication (from a psychiatrist). The time to heal from depression can be many years, depending on how deep the wounds are. Looking for a "fix" rather than to learning how to live on a healing journey (possibly getting worse at the beginning) will keep one in a painful, false expectation limbo.

(3) Why does it bother you so much that she doesn't want to wear her ring? Is it your own insecurity about her commitment to you? Is it a need for constant affirmation? You may want to be in therapy, too—or at least, counseling. (Her depression therapy should mostly be without you present.) You will experience pain and struggles as long as she is ill, but they aren't her fault. She didn't give herself depression. Your own imperfections contribute—she is triggering what is already inside you.

In lieu of better, more personalized, more medically accurate advice: try to let her have her way in most things as long as it isn't a major life change. Certainly take a step back and examine what is important. How would you feel if you made a big deal out of her wedding ring problem now if she died next week, instead of having focused on God and her needs.

Albion · Feb 16, 2018

It looks like the ring issue was, to Manny, merely an indicator of a bigger problem. Or to put it another way, if she balks at such a small gesture as that--a gesture indicating to onlookers little more than the fact of her BEING in a marriage--what else is she thinking about him and her marriage??

Kit Sigmon · Feb 16, 2018

Manny Pacheco said:
I really appreciate the responses so far, but I just wanted to add that everything else seems to NOT being going well. It seems that we are no longer seeing eye to eye on a lot of things, anymore. Basically, long story short, she told me 5 months ago she no longer was in love with me and didn't feel anything for me, she explained it as being "numb". I think depression is a lot of this, but who knows by now. It seems like she has this kind of liberation now, and is only doing things for her own self interests. I just see a continued destructive behavior that is affecting my family's and my emotional well being. She is very avoiding and always has been; hates confrontation. I'm seriously lost by now, I just see it as she continually displays she does not want this relationship to work out, but she does show up to counseling... ????

Manny, depression is destructive...I recall how it was for my husband following his injury and his LONG up and down road to recovery....much of his recovery from
the accident was good but then he'd have one setback after another...he'd seem
to be healing only to have something else go wrong and this pattern kept repeating over and over.
He became very depressed following his accident, he was isolating, day to day things be a trial for him, he made bad decisions and at one point I had to assume all the business and financial handings because of some unwise things he did.
Many times he was in that "fog", he'd do stuff and not remember it, decision making was off.
Meds would work for a time and then nothing...he'd be weaned off of one pill to
another, this would also be repeated several times.
It was so so hard...I felt this would be forever.
I had well meaning christian friends who told me to leave and or divorce him,
few would come along side us and walk with us through this hell...that's what
it was like too!

His withdrawals and inability to make good decisions lead to him not being allowed to drive, I had to drive him to appointments, which were going on five days to the week and that went on for like two years.

He saw two counselors (I was with him for some of the appointments) other times I was to wait in the outer office while his session went on.
Roles in our marriage changed completely, he often talked about divorcing me, his self esteem was at rock bottom...he wanted to die and talked about suicide.
My husband hated what he saw in the mirror and often avoided looking at one.
I was often told to leave.
It was like we were strangers who had to unhappily share a home.
We went through two different marriage counselings back to back.
My husband got a christian mentor and a prayer partner at church, these men would take my husband back and forth to the meetings at church for mentoring, prayer and bible reading/study.
My friends and prayer circle kept me encouraged and helped me through this rough time...I appreciated all they did for me.

Things leveled out in the third year and by the time we were four years since my
husband's accident, he was able to resume his former duties and even started
volunteering at church...before the fourth year was over, he was helping to teach a mens group at church and by the following year, the leader of the group
asked my husband if he'd be interested in assuming leadership of the group,
he happily accepted that role and is still leading that group.

He still has struggles with depression but it's nothing like it was, the counseling
helped my husband to deal with things, his own limitations and the big thing was
him learning not to push himself so hard and beating himself up so badly when
he do something wrong. My husband is a: don't make waves type, he was also bad about internalizing things and acting like nothing be wrong...this too had to change. He's doing much better with expressing himself these days.

Don't know what to think: Wife believes wedding ring is just materialistic...

New Member

Facilitator

Regular Member

Everything You say is Life to me

Well-Known Member

Pack Leader

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

New Member

Well-Known Member

Born Imperishable

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

The walking accident

Active Member

Facilitator

Fading curmudgeon

Well-Known Member

Facilitator

Well-Known Member

Similar threads