i have been in a state of constant suffering these days. I tried really hard to fight against evil forces and i believe i have lost now. I was almost possessed by true evil and it hurt me for its own amusement. i have been in an unholy relationship with a sinful man who does not believe in God and sell his body for money. I have befriended a girl who taught me fascinating things about the occult and i love her, i love it. My fascination grew into an obsession and now im too far gone. i'm filled with sin.
I prayed to God and He never answered. i have committed blasphemy ; the unforgivable sin.
I don't believe I can be saved now. what is left for me to do? i cant ask for forgiveness for something that is unforgivable.. and i am ashamed. i enjoyed committing these sins. and i felt like i was free for once and now i'm just wishing that God would end my suffering.
First of all, the only unforgiveable thing is to believe your own spirit is the Spirit of God. How then can you be forgiven from this, as you can not ask to be forgiven... until you realize your spirit is not the Spirit of God.
Next, God is in Heaven. You are on earth. Do not try to understand God before you get to know Him.
Your idea of morality is going to be miniscule and absurd compared to God's idea.
As for "the occult" it is a bunch of nonsense. Actually, as someone who routinely has miracles and deals with the "supernatural", it is painfully ignorant and absurd to me.
Of course, folks who are powerless (and the social group you are describing is endemic of "powerlessness"), will try and find some means to believe - Believe - even when there is nothing there.
I do think a lot of "Christians" try and empower "the occult", because they are "Christians" in quotes. They are unaware and are confused, basically ignorant and entirely so. As those who engage in "the occult".
In the real world, nothing ever really happens. Their "magic" is powerless.
As for a guy who sells his body... generally, they will be homosexual, is my own understanding. For whatever reason, women do not tend to be big buyers.
Both conditions, are usually isolated, often homeless teenagers, with really no place, and usually drugs in the equation.
...
I am not sure what else to say on these matters. Obviously, you need to separate your self from these folks, and get your own life and self in order.
I will point out, from my own perspective, these sorts of sins are ones of desperation and pain, in bad places. Exact sorts of places where some true believers can eventually be found.
They are not the sort of evil makers which infuriate me. Far from it. But, rather, there are common sinners with little to no compass. Entirely lost in life, even if they think they have a compass. They need help to save themselves from terrible fates their conditions tend to bring.