Have You Mastered Online Forgiveness Yet?

Halbhh said:

My thoughts are "brother" here means any fellow believer in Christ, and next that what we say must obey the golden rule He gave us which uses the wording "in everything" which I think means always, all situations. Therefore I must speak just exactly the way I'd want to be spoken to, which for me means in a kind and gentle way.

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Yes brother. The golden rule seems to me to be taught so rarely these days when it is supposed to be the send most important message taught, after only "love the Lord your God with your whole heart, mind, should and strength."

But here's the thing. Do you think that you yourself would always wanted to be addressed "in a gentle way" if you were really messing up badly? I mean, there are instances in scripture where our Lord was not at all gentle in the way he addressed people, such as with the scribes and Pharisees. The apostle Paul was likewise not at all gentle with people, like the Galatians (Galatians 3:1-3).

I fully understand your point, and I fully agree with it. Only there may be more to fulfilling the golden rule where others are concerned than simply being kind and gentle. Sometimes they need a swift kick in the pants.

fhansen said:

The main problem is when people are purposefully snide or nasty but there, as well, ignorance is lurking behind the scene in one way or another. "Forgive them Father..."

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I agree. I noticed you are Catholic, by the way. While I do not agree with all Catholic doctrines, I have noticed that they often do not get a fair shake in matters of doctrinal debate, when there is more behind what they believe than appears on the surface. Just thought I'd mention that as being something that resonated with the way you were describing things.

fhansen said:

And for the same reason, if and when we're the ones who've offended, then we need to be able to step up to the plate and apologize-a very rare and courageous thing in this world it seems to me but an act also necessitated and compelled by love-after we've failed to love as well as we should.

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AMEN to this. I am not the least ashamed to both admit guilt and apologize. In reality, I only long for reconciliation, and will go to virtually any extent to get it. Only what I expect from the other person is the same, and a willingness to forgive me for losing it a little, since it may not be the last time it happens.

fhansen said:

And this is even more the case when we develop an 'us vs them' mentality; my group is exclusively right -and justified in God's eyes- while the rest of the world is lost. But love must always trump all; that's God's position as proven by the cross.

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Agreed, and well put. This again speaks of denominational strife, and it's a shame to see it happen so much online. Lobe for one another should be the first rule of obedience, well before trying to correct one another on doctrine (though the latter is important).

fhansen said:

That's a strike against religiosity and against some of our prized tenets-and an embracing of love and the acceptance of each other above all else. Righteousness must never be divorced or distinguished from the virtue of love. That's actually a basis of the New Covenant.

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Wonderfully put. Thank you for your post!

quartzy said:

Writing on my own experience of forgiveness, for one I believe that you need to go thorugh the negative aspects, the crying, the anger etc. and once you have gone through that, then you can begin to unpack it, the various bits of the event that you understand. For some of us we cannot quite believe that another person would do that to us, but it most definitely happens. For whatever reasons people have they do hurt us. Forgiveness is also for me understanding the human aspect that made them do it, the selfishness aspect and then accepting what they done. You will probably not forget but you will have learned something. As everything happens for a reason and one day you will see the reason.

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My, My. This post has a wisdom to it that is somewhat shocking. Simple yet profound. We place so much emphasis on obedience to God's commands that any human interaction that seems to lead us deviate from those commands gets rejected as something to be avoided, and leads us to break off communication altogether. But this prevents us from ever coming into a true understanding of one another...

Very good post. I don't think God wants us shutting the door to truth and honesty with others, even if it does mean unfortunately having to get a little ugly with each other sometimes. That's way our Lord placed an absolute necessity on walking in forgiveness for those who would be His children.

Jason0047 said:

What do you put out fire with?
The opposite element (Which is water).
This is why Jesus said we are to do good unto our enemies and to pray for them and love them.
Jesus said if you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven by the Father (Matthew 6:15).
I would say that these things alone are incentive enough to always forgive.

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Amen. And if we are to pray for our enemies, how much more for our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Fish Catcher Jim said:

Greetings @Hidden In Him
Are you letting things come into your thinking brother that should not be?

It does not matter if it is online, at work, driving down the road or sitting in church.
We are commanded to Forgive.

There is no only if or this or that. It's plain simple Forgiving all the time.

So forgiving others online is just as important as forgiving anywhere else.
Blessings
FCJ

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Yes, yes. I fully agree with you, Jim. The question is the OP isn't about IF we should forgive, but how, i.e. what are the methods others use that help them get there as quickly as possible.

Fish Catcher Jim said:

Yes that is true but in the op you make it sound like forgiving on line people is different then those in the relationship.

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I welcome discussion of both.

Fish Catcher Jim said:

Methods?
Walking in Love
Walking in the Spirit
Obedience
Because it pleases Him
And when He is pleased with you, Well Sir life is GOOD!!

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HaHa! I appreciate that, buddy. But I was kinda hoping for specifics. What I'm looking for are those who occasionally truly get upset with other people online to explain the process by which they eventually set aside their anger and forgive. In other words, list actual instances of when and how it happened (without naming names), how enraged it made them at the time, how tempted they were to react in various ways, how quickly it took them to bring their emotions back in line, and ultimately how long it took them before they were able to hear the voice of God telling them to forgive the other person and pray for them.

Again, I'm not presupposing that all believers go through this cycle. But I know many of them do. There is also abundant evidence that many during New Testament times didi as well, so it's very relevant to me.

bettercallpaul said:

I don't think I've ever offended anyone on here to my knowledge.

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I don't think so either, Paul.

Halbhh said:

The message has to get through, be clear, and hopefully be hearable and heard. So, clear, honest, kind. It's what I would want.

We do definitely have to imagine if we were in that situation. Sometimes it's not hard to imagine.

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Agreed.

Thanks for the videos, Jason. I haven't watched them yet but I have that on my agenda.

Jason0047 said:

They have to stop indulging in worldly movies, music, books, comics, or sports, etc.

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About your post, there are some helpful things there. Let me start by asking you about this, however. In relation to renewing the mind, do you think it's possible to watch some TV while still remaining unaffected or no? I watch very little, but I do still watch some.

Jason0047 said:

Remove yourself from sinful environments (if possible) and or get rid of things that cause you to sin. In Genesis: Joseph had literally ran away from the temptation of sexual sin.

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This is good. And practical.

Jason0047 said:

Pray to God so as not to be tempted. It is part of the Lord’s prayer for you to pray so as not to be tempted into sin. God will guide and protect you if you are serious in praying for this. In fact, fasting will help you with this, as well.

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This is very good. I'm surprised you would apply the Lord's Prayer in this way. I don't think most people know that it is specifically talking about praying that the Lord not lead us into the temptation to sin verbally by failing to keep a tight reign over our mouths.

The allusion to fasting as a means of keeping the flesh down is also something I firmly believe in, although in my opinion it has to be qualified by the fact that one cannot fast all the time (unfortunately). Paul attested to engaging in fasting "often," yet not always. So this cannot be regarded as a fool-proof method to fall back on. Sometimes you just can't.

Jason0047 said:

Obey God’s righteous ways. The more you love God and love others and obey His Word and stay in His Word and pray, the more you will not even have a chance to sin or do the wrong thing. But the more you walk in God's Word by the Spirit you will not fulfill the lusts of flesh.

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Agreed here as well, only, without wanting to sound argumentative, this too is not always a feasible option 24/7, at least to me. I find during times when I am receiving revelation from Him it is much easier to apply this one and see the positive effects of it. But there are other times when I am not able to keep my head in the word and in prayer. I've heard that ministry can also help, because it keeps one in prayer and the word more, of necessity.

Jason0047 said:

When you are tempted, quote Scripture. When Jesus was tempted by the devil, He quoted Scripture to defeat the devil. So when some specific sin is bothering you, find all the verses you can that are victory verses over that particular sin. A good general verse is, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” You can say these verses to yourself silently under your breath (with nobody hearing).

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This one I've heard before, only I'm not sure Christ's example was a repetitive form of self-discipline. I regard it more as a single instance of direct response to the Devil. I suppose this doesn't disqualify this method from being used, but I'm not convinced His example lends it scriptural support.

Jason0047 said:

Ask for prayer from other God fearing Christians or Godly Christians to help you to overcome certain sins. The Scriptures say, bear ye one another's burdens and thus fulfill the Law of Christ. So seek true fellowship and ask for their help.

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Excellent verse and good advice. I recall Greg Merrill posting a thread asking for everyone to pray for members who appeared to be getting into strife right about the time when I was losing it with a brother. And while he never mentioned by name who he was concerned about, for all I know those prayers might have truly helped me at the time.

Jason0047 said:

Hide God’s Word in your heart. Memorize Scripture. David said he hid God’s Word within his heart so that he may not sin against the Lord.

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This brings to mind honorable mention to Greg again, who professes to keep this habit as well. MY trouble (again, not making excuses), is that I am so mentally active in other things the Lord has me doing that it is very tough constantly giving myself to repetitive meditations like that. It would also have to dominate my prayer time to have any real conceivable effect, and I have so many other things going on that I need to be praying for that, one way our another, something would get sacrificed.

To be continued...