Hello.
I need to say that I don’t have any joy in my life. I’m 17 years old and it should be the beginning of my life and it looks like it’s end. My life consists of going to school and spending time on internet. I’m a very bashful, and quiet person. The cause of my behaviour was a rejection in school that ended a few years ago but it still affects me. I used to take antidepressants. They didn’t help me. Every day looks the same, every day has no emotions and no progress. My life goes to nowhere. I don’t know what I want to do in my life. People that surround me don’t really want to have a contact with me. People are always very interested for the first time they see me but later the interest goes away. I don’t really accept myself. My life has no purpose, It looks like waiting for death. I’m very concerned about it because it lasts for about 5 years and nothing changes. I don’t know what to do and how to change it, because I'm afraid of everything. I have enough of just existing.
Dear Sweet Blackmore,
Hear me when I say that you are so very precious. Those are not empty words. You ARE loved and you ARE valued -- for
exactly who you are, not who you wish you were or who you think you should be. Your life is precious and
full of promise. You are
not a mistake,
not a failure and
not one with no hope for a future. Reading what you have written breaks my heart, as I know precisely the emotion and the struggle that you face each and every moment of each and every day. Sometimes it feels it's too much to breathe, right? As if you are being suffocated, drowned, like there is no escape? The heaviness is overwhelming and you feel as if you've completely lost yourself and haven't the slightest clue who you are or where you belong. It especially feels like no one cares - as if you fell off the face of the planet right now, that no one would notice? Forgive me if I'm wrong.
I want you to read this and really let it sink in for you, ok?
Jeremiah 29:11-12
11 I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope. 12 Then you will call to me. You will come and pray to me, and I will hear you.
Your Daddy is madly, head over heels in love with YOU! He did not make a mistake when He made you. Your personality, your talents and unique gifts (even when you can't see them yet), your voice, your looks, your heart, every single little tiny detail about who you are was shaped and molded in His mind and hands. Perfectly crafted, nothing missing and nothing broken. Tell me something sweetheart -- why do you suppose the enemy sent people and situations into your life to make you feel rejected? To make you feel less than? To make you feel not good enough? To make you feel as though no one gets you, no one wants you and no one needs anything you have to offer? He is trying to steal your identity because that devil knows who you are and what you are called to accomplish. He will never fight someone who is not a threat to his darkness. Never. So actually, I encourage you right now to be encouraged and lifted up because the very reason you feel what you feel now is because YOU DO have what it takes and you are
exactly who you were meant to be and that purpose on your life scares the daylights out of the enemy of your soul. Believing the lie makes you ineffective (not because you actually are that way) - it makes you want to curl up, do nothing, talk to no one, go nowhere, just be alone. Can you see how his lies work every time in accomplishing the purpose he has set out to do?
I want you to think for a moment about what you hear in your mind for me, ok? What does it sound like? "There's no hope for me. I'll never be more than I am right now. I don't know where I belong because maybe I don't belong anywhere. No one wants to know who I am. I'm not like the others." On and on, right? Here's the TRUTH I want you to remember every time you get hit with these lies ... The devil is the father of lies according to God's Word and it says there is NO TRUTH in him. So if he cannot tell the truth --
everything negative you hear is a
lie. So if you want to know the
truth of who you are, flip what you are hearing into the very opposite and THERE is your truth my sweet brother.
I would like to pray with you now if that's ok.
Abba Father, I thank you SO much for the life of my incredible brother. I thank you that you have filled his life with hope, goodness, plans to prosper him, mold him into the beautiful creation that you designed him to be. I thank you that his life was not a mistake but that he was planned by Your Masterful love. I thank you that you saw the beginning from the end of his life and declared that it IS GOOD, that he will touch lives and be so full of your joy because your fullness of JOY is his strength. Daddy, I ask now that you give him fresh revelation of who You are and how much you love him. How you created him for such a time as this and that every lie is just that - a lie! Help him to see through the tactics of the enemy that is rising up against him now into the glorious plan that is all for him. Wrap your arms around him Lord. Let your glorious presence fall on him now, that he would be overcome with your love, your healing, your deliverance. Uproot every hurt, every disappointment, every rejection, every fear, every doubt, everything that does not originate from YOUR hand God. I command all pain to be destroyed in Jesus' name and that every spirit that is not Your Holy Spirit bow to the name of Jesus and the blood of Jesus that I plead over my brother now, from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. Saturate him in your goodness, your mercy, your love and your power from this day forward. I declare a NEW DAY in his life that he will know all the wondrous joy and beauty coming his way. Thank you Lord. We give YOU all the glory, praise and honor for you alone SET US FREE. Amen & Amen!
I love you brother & you are not alone. I will continue praying for you and I want you to know that as you simply talk to your Daddy God as you would a best friend (there are no secret formulas or "right words"), release all to Him, surrender your worries, your fears and your hurts to Him -- let Him come and be ALL that you need now and always. He will exceed your expectations.
Love in Christ,
~ Holly
