What's The Toughest Thing About Being Single?

That's funny...most people have said waiting...but that is not it for me...

I think the hardest thing about being single is knowing what I want in a husband, a lifemate, the man I will love forever...that is what is hard.

1st March 2003 at 02:00 AM pinPoint said this in Post #15

like i said on you're top post in Single Ministry. The society is like a disease it will eat you up. The most hard thing about been single is really 2 things. (1) Waiting And (2) Standing For Truth. Waiting- it can be hard to wait especially when you see other couples, or two ppl mingle,etc. But waiting comes with nice side effects... like patience.. waiting for the Lord to write your love story. Isn't that like the most romantic thing ever!!??? The Ultimate Romance Creator writing/molding/creating your love story... i think its so neat. Standing for truth... again ppl will think you're nuts/crazy whatever you wanna call it... thats the society. Stand firm with the Lord and He shall amaze you. -- thats just my two cents.

pin~

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I agree with you; in fact, that's what I tell a lot of my friends. I am just waiting for God to write my love story, because, yeah, that, to me, is the most romantic thing in the world! But, the hardest thing is waiting. I know the qualities that I look for in my future husband, it's just a matter of finding him. Oh well, in God's time!

Hmmm... coming to terms with the fact that God might not want me to marry.

The loneliness especially during holidays and of course the physical intimicy.

Hugging. Cuddling.

/me misses that

I am coming to leanr that being single is not tough, but an amazing gift from God where you can spend your time and effort seeking Him and learning more about Him, building your character and getting a clearly picture for your life ahead. Also getting prepared to be a good husband/wife to your future spouse!

At one time the toughest thing about being single was the lonliness I felt. I'd go to work and hear the others talk about their spouse, kids, or girlfriend/boyfriend. I'd see couples walking into the store holding hand, and I'd think, "Why not me?" I'd sometimes catch myself walking through the store saying, "I love you." underneath my breath, so I would remember how it feels to say it.
I'm over that now. I'm content with being single.

The odd thing for me is that I assumed for a long time that God didn't want me to marry. Then I met a great woman, fell in love with her, spent large amounts of time with her (and her kids), and was briefly engaged to her (she left me for another man). Since then, I feel that the Lord was preparing me for marriage in that relationship. Five years have passed, and so far I am still alone. But I believe the right woman will come, in God's good time. Until then, loneliness and lack of patience are my biggest problems. 

I love watching how couples interact and how they teach other - sometimes I feel joy in my heart and sometimes I feel deep pain - not pain for me, but for them - especially when I see a young couple fooling around. I was at a party on Saturday night and there were some young teenage couples there who were snogging for the entire duration of the party, that made me feel sad. They I went to church on the Sunday morning and saw parents interacting with their children and seeing the joy on the kids faces playing with their parents made me glad. And then seeing one of my friends little sisters run and give me a big hug gave me a glimpse of the joy of parenthood. Why am I saying this? Because while we are single, we should cherish this time in our lives and learn to prepare for that time when we get married, also pray for those who are in relationships which may not be best for them and guide those closest to us to persue godliness. What if you are not called to marry? What an amazing thing that is. The fact is that many will marry and most of us will, but those who are not called to marry Paul says in 1 Cor 7:1, "Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry". Why? Because you can concentrate more on what God has for your life, then pleasing your wife/husband. Paul said that one of the greatest things that helped him in his ministry was not being married. But he also said in verse 9 of the same chapter, "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion".

what's the toughest thing about being single? especially for guys, it's sexual temptation!

In 1 Corinthians, Paul says, "It is good... to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

Now, why does Paul say it's good to stay single? Well, he previously said that "But those who marry will face many troubles in this life..." He also tells us, "An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world - how he can please his wife - and his interests are divided."

Makes sense to me; either route, we are to serve God.

Yeh, sexual temptation and lust is really difficult but I know that God is working in my life in a big way in that area and I am very grateful for the grace of our God, isn't He so amazing and worthy of all our focus???

The Grace of God is sufficient all the time...he gives us a way out of every temptation, cos his life is in us, and it's his life in us that makes us strong. My aim is to live in the fulness of this truth, completely relying on God and not putting any of my 'own strength' into situations. I think whether you are single, as I am at the mo, or even if you're married, if you're trust is in God then every situation can be a blessing. I'm not saying it's always easy being single, it's not at times. Being tempted is hard and can sometimes be a real battle to stay completely pure and holy. But I truly believe that if you don't like being single, it's only when you come to that place where you can say "ok God, if you don't want me married that's fine with me" - it's when you're in that place when God will honour you and give you that kinda relationship with someone. If your goal is to honour God, he will remain faithful always.

God told me something cool:


The world looks at people's strengths to see what they can do, but God looks at people's weaknesses to see what they can do!

The worst things for me are the sense of isolation from couples, people who are looking (and don't want me cramping their style) and people who think I'm a freak because I'm single plus the knowledge that I'll never find anybody who can love a butt-ugly, heart-on-sleeve oik but like me (man, I love the internet because you guys don't have a clue what I look like) and weddings!

Something else I always find is people want me to marry their daughters, but the daughters are never interested! If impressing parents were the only problem, I'd have been hitched years ago!

Arghhhhh! I'm always asked to be an usher or a best man! I hate that (especially when I have to pay for the suit!).

I'm not as depressed as I sound, but I do get low at times and that hurts like a big hurting thing.

Basically you may see yourself as ugly, but God made you in His image and He is proud of his creation, He delights in you.

Psalm 37:23
The steps of a man are established by the LORD, And He delights in his way.

Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 147:11
the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.

Psalm 149:4
For the LORD takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with salvation.

Song of Solomon 4:10
How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!

and finally:

Corinthians 12:10
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

There are loads of other passages which show that God, the creator of the whole world, delights in His creation. To God, you are beautiful and precious, He loves you and that is shown on the cross!!! So if anyone puts you down or you are feeling low, just remember that God loves you, He delights in you and He wants you to know that!

Concerning finding a wife or being single, take heed of what Paul says, "Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry" (1 Corinthians 7). Read the rest of that chapter to know why he says that and what else he says about marriage. I don't know you or your situation, but if you desire to get married likely fact is that you will get married, but maybe, just maybe, God has a greater plan for your life!!!

Psalm 20:4
May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.

Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

All these things are very true but i just have mixed feelings. I tell the Lord that i want a wife because i'm lonly but the truth is i already feel whole the honest reason i want a wife is just to make my life better. I mean i'm to young to get married now but i'd atleast like to meet her and i understand about the patience it really is hard to wait because you know hes got the one for you out there. And the bible even says mans not ment to be alone for all you who think your not ment to be married unless God gives you total peace about that or tells you don't think like that no matter what ur age is because if its a desire of your heart the Lord knows. I was in love with my ex and put her before God a while back and really hardened my heart because i didn't want to accept that and i asked God if she wasn't the one for me then move her and man did he shes now in Arizona and i'm in Georgia. I just believe she wasn't the one and i really wasn't ready. God wants you to have a heart totally after him before you get married if you don't you'll let your wife or husband take the time and part of your heart thats Gods. Trust in the Lord your God and lean not to your own understanding

fieldmouse3 said:

The toughest thing? Not having anyone to cuddle with.

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ServentoftheLord, I agree! I don't think any one person is supposed to be a savior to us because I, too, think it's important to be happy in your present situation. If you're not happy now, you may never be.


Having a spouse should only add to your life in a wonderful way, not fill up some hole that he/she will never be able to fill.

Feeling like no one finds you attractive.
Having no one to be close to.

Stupid things really but overall I am quite content being single.

Some may say the worst part about being single is not getting sex, but the same can be said about marriage.

JoieDeVivre said:

I don't really mind being being single most of the time. My parents aren't dropping hints they want me to get married soon [I'm in my mid-20s], my friends never make me feel like a third wheel even when I'm among couples nor do they tease me about being single all of my life, and my church friends actually think it's great that I'm single since I have more time for the ministry.

The only 'tough' thing about being single is that some people [non-Christians especially] don't believe that one can be single AND be happy at the same time. When I tell them I'm perfectly happy being single, they give me this you've-got-to-be-kidding look. What is it with today's world that singlehood and happiness seem to be mutually exclusive concepts?

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there is nothing tough about being single. plain and simple.