feel scared things in my past are not what them seem

If you go to confession, the priest will surely be able to help you with gently probing questions. Ask one or two people who would be a good priest to make a general confession to. An older one would have a lot of experience with all kinds of problems . I have the impression that it was you who were sinned against, but of course I can't know. In such cases, the innocent victim preyed upon will feel guilty. But this is pure speculation, of course, on the basis of a few anxious words.

You might like to speak to one of the chaplains here. Every best wish to you, anyway. We're all sinners, you know. Jesus didn't die that agonising death on the cross, because we told a few fibs.

Sounds like a psychologist would be a better option than confession. A priest can listen to your sins and absolve them and assign you penance, but isn't really trained to help you sort out false memories versus real ones and reality versus imaginary stuff. A psychologist or a psychiatrist could help you with those things over time. Then go to confession and confess what you did after you're sure what you really did.

But I think the priority for you right now should be to sort this stuff out with a trained professional and then take care of the religious aspects later, or do both simultaneously if you want. But please see a doctor. I think that would do you good.

And, for what it's worth, I don't think a just merciful God would send you to hell. I think he'd love you and work with you on helping you become a better person and doing better in the future on areas where you may have missed the mark in the past.

Lily
no one here hates you

Jesus does not hate you
God loves you so much

you are such a brave woman, you have gone through so much

do not worry, Jesus loves you, He knows you can not do this on your own, this is the point, we need His grace

God bless you.

paul becke said:

If you go to confession, the priest will surely be able to help you with gently probing questions. Ask one or two people who would be a good priest to make a general confession to. An older one would have a lot of experience with all kinds of problems . I have the impression that it was you who were sinned against, but of course I can't know. In such cases, the innocent victim preyed upon will feel guilty. But this is pure speculation, of course, on the basis of a few anxious words.

You might like to speak to one of the chaplains here. Every best wish to you, anyway. We're all sinners, you know. Jesus didn't die that agonising death on the cross, because we told a few fibs.

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I have to continue here I mean by using the 'Edit' function. ILoveJesus, because I can't seem to find where to post any other way in this new format. I must ask a mod.

Anyway, the thing is, if you were a bad person or were in a very sinful state and had been for a long time, you would either be unaware of it, or you would have buried it and been blaming the Church and everyone but yourself.

Lily - when is your next appointment with the Mental health folk ? They are the best people to help you - not us.

We can support you by prayer - but you need help from people with the specialised knowledge of your condition

I hope you get the help you need

ILoveJesus said:

i see my dr tomorrow morning

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That's good news. Hang in there. I know this kind of stuff gets rough, and there isn't always a quick fix, but as long as you're alive, there are possibilities that some good stuff will happen. Not necessarily some dramatic turn around, but maybe even just a good hour or a good day from time to time. You kind of have to battle through to get to those good moments. Because there are no good moments if you're not breathing, and that's sometimes the way you've got to look at it, not as a balance sheet of bad moments to good moments, but as a thing where you just get some good moments here and there. If you're not in the game, there are no good moments, you know?

ILoveJesus said:

Am feeling very scared right now


what am about to say is hard and i think you will all hate me
I think i need to go to confession as well i think that things that happened when i was a teen was different than what really happened some of the things i remember seem to be different than what i remember my childhood i cant remember much about it
All i know is i have little bits of memory things got screwed up in my head and what i thought happened didnt happen i am still so unsure
but i need to go to confession asap
I hate myself for this , I hate that my past is so confusing and that what i did remember is mixed up with things i thought happened

i know am a bad person and i will most likely go to hell for what av done
sorry

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God doesn't judge as us as harshly as we judge ourselves.
He cannot be fooled - so if we are confused - He already knows that.
But in respect to your own comfort - confession helps certainly for any portion of this that was a fault.

ILoveJesus said:

Am feeling very scared right now


what am about to say is hard and i think you will all hate me
I think i need to go to confession as well i think that things that happened when i was a teen was different than what really happened some of the things i remember seem to be different than what i remember my childhood i cant remember much about it
All i know is i have little bits of memory things got screwed up in my head and what i thought happened didnt happen i am still so unsure
but i need to go to confession asap
I hate myself for this , I hate that my past is so confusing and that what i did remember is mixed up with things i thought happened

i know am a bad person and i will most likely go to hell for what av done
sorry

Click to expand...

(((hug)))

Just remember once you ask for forgiveness, ALL your sins are in the lake of forgetfulness and God sees you white as snow and does not even remember your sins once they have been forgiven. You don't need to go back over them again because God does not see them - they are gone. When you look in the mirror see yourself as forgiven because that is the way that God sees you.

The Lord Bless you and keep you
The Lord make his face shine upon you
The Lord lift up his coutenance
and give you peace

Amen.

if you lived closer I would love to visit you and meet you and your husband

I pray for you
I wish I could do more