Friendship Issues

Have any of you ever kept getting annoyed with the same friend? I don't know why but there's one particular friend I continue feeling annoyed with. Okay, I guess I do know why - something happened the last time we got together I thought was kinda insensitive on her part but I don't feel I can tell her about it because in he past when I have mentioned being upset with her, it is somehow out of her control. And usually I find it quite difficult to tell people I am upset so it takes courage to do so. I kinda wish I could say something to her this time but I have a feeling it will be the same result - I'll be the one who ends up feeling bad for saying anything. Guess I should pray about it, huh? Because the annoyance I feel towards this friend isn't going away.

I dont think they would be my friends if they annoyed me well atleast not constantly

Most of my friends irritate me to my last nerve more than once a year. I have a few friends that I am so close with that we can't be in the same company for more or 2 or 3 days in a row as we are so similar we end up arguing. To me, it's totally natural.

What isn't natural is how your friend makes you feel bad for voicing your opinions and what is annoying you. That should never be the case with friends. The only thing I would suggest you do is make sure the thing that is annoying you isn't an indifference in personalities. For example if she was to say something about not believing in God, you couldn't be angry at her for that. If, however, she was to attack you on your beliefs then that is insensitive. I'm not suggesting you are the one at fault, I just want to make sure everyone is on the same page.

If the thing that is annoying you isn't an indifference or clash of personalities/beliefs and she is genuinely doing something that is insensitive or hurtful to you then sit her down and explain to her that this isn't a joke and you feel that she is the one in the wrong.

It may be tough to hear, but if she doesn't accept what you are saying to you and flies of the handle and tries to make it your own personal problem, then maybe you should consider breaking the friendship with this girl.

I hope everything works out for you!

First, I think the Bible gives us very good scripture about how to relate in love and friendship >

Ephesians 5:21 > mutual submission in submission to how our Father guides our relating

James 5:16 > mutual confession with mutual prayer for healing into how God's love has us relating with Him and one another

Ephesians 4:31-5:2 > being "tenderhearted" with one another, "forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." Being all-loving like Jesus was sweet-smelling during His sacrifice on the cross . . . being sweetly kind . . . and pleasing to our Father, about how people were hating and torturing and killing Him!!!

James 1:19-20 > "swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" > "the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." You may need your friend so you can practice to be perfect in this We can tend to connect with ones who, really, are like us, but "different only in the details" . . . details of how we, too, can be selfish, thus needing to forgive "each other".

Mark 11:25 > forgiving in prayer "for" the ones we forgive, in caring love with hope for them > see also Luke 23:34, with 1 Corinthians chapter 13 about real love.

And Ephesians 4:2 says,

"with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love,"

So, I need to be strong, "with longsuffering", so I can bear with how others are going to be wrong, somehow. Even really Christian people will at times be wrong; this is "why", I consider, God includes "with longsuffering" in how He knows we will need to be relating

And > "nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

So, if someone is wrong, you need to first be in prayer and "longsuffering" so the person can not have power over you to effect you the wrong way. Then first be good example to the person, relating the right way with him or her. This can show the person that their wrong way is not going to control you and have power over you, but you are there for them with love, not going to give up on them . . . like how God does not give up on you

And if your example doesn't help the person, you can say something and see if the person is able to deal with it. If not, how are you going to stay with the person, anyway, if the other is not able to do things right?

"Just make sure that your being hurt or irritated is not because of your own ego being wrong."

We're human. These things happen. Our flesh never went away either, so it will continue to nag at you from time to time. So, don't worry too much about it, give it to the Lord, pray, and maybe seek counsel from some Christian you respect and admire. The same thing happened to me, too, but praying always helps.

My aunt was quipped to me that one of the true ways you know someone is a friend, as opposed to mere acquaintance or occasional pal, is that they can annoy you from time to time, usually unintentionally... and you can still call them a friend afterward! I can't say that I myself have always fulfilled this, as many people I've considered good friends have gotten on my nerves so much that I often went out of my way not to be around them. But I later realized that what drew me to them as friends way outweighed what was annoying me about them. It was one of the ways I knew who my true friends are!